MoonFisher's advice column

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Q: hey i was wondering..im home alone and i just got my period..how do i handle it?..sry this is a really embarrising ?...=(

Well, congratulations! You're a woman now. :) I would go explore mom's cupboard for a sanitary napkin or tampon, if she has any or lives there. If not, fold up a thick layer of paper towels and use them in a pinch. If you can't get to the store or don't have any money because you are home alone, call one of your friends and talk to her mother. She'll probably be very sympathetic and bring you what you need.

Q: Hi well see I met this guy from Paris, France, well he is sweet and everything , but my boyfriend dosnt like him , he said if I talked to him that he would break up with me , what do I do?Plz
help

Uhhh, don't tell your boyfriend that you're talking to him. Better yet, dump the jerk, since he's willing to dump you over such a ridiculous thing. Move on to something better. TIME FOR AN UPGRADE.

Q: I havent had a boyfriend in about a year and a half. My friends and family are always telling me i need to get out there and meet someone. The trouble is i dont really know where it is im supposed to go to meet theses said "guys".
Anyone have any suggestions on where to meet a nice guy?
Thanks :)

Church, if you are religious. I find that the best men are in libraries, cyber cafes, bookstores, and hobby shops. See, nerds and geeks never get any lovin', so if you pay attention to them, they will fawn all over you and spoil you and make you their Dungeons and Dragons warrior goddess of love. Nerds may be a bit fugly when they're young, but you can train them up proper, and they always end up growing pretty damn handsome and wealthy down the road. Best thing is, while other husbands are out at the bar getting drunk and looking at other women, your nerd will be at home playing everquest and getting hopped up over animated gifs of elf boobies.

Q: Anyone know how i can get artificial nail glue out of a shirt?

If the shirt is colored, you're going to have a hard time! Acetone or acetone based nail-polish remover is the only thing that can really remove it. There is a possibility it will make a bleach mark on your shirt, though. I suggest rubbing the glue out with it then quickly rinsing it in running water to reduce the chances of bleaching it out.

Q: okay, ive had my guy best friend for like a year now, and he recently just got a gf, theyve been goin out now for like 4 months, he loves her, she loves him, etcetc...he usta REALLII like me ALOT in the past..even when he was with his gf, we tell eachother EVERYTHING, he even told me how he felt about me...then i didnt wanna fuck nething up for them so i backed off so he would kinda stop having these feelings for me...now everything is back to normal i think...we just like gradually started talking again and we are like how we usta be...this was acouple months ago, but the thing is, i THINK that im starting to have tiny feelings for him starting to form..ahh i dunno whut to do cause i think im kinda jealous now?? i have no idea how im feeling..i dunno whut to do/think..id appreciate if u helped, thanks =]

Sorry, girly, but you blew it for now! Don't tell him, I say. You didn't jump on board while he was single, don't butt in now. He likes this girl, and if you interfere, you might make him very angry and resentful of you. What if he does like you back? You'd be putting him in a very tight situation. If your feelings for him are really tiny, like you say, then stuff them away for his sake and the sake of the poor girl he's dating. Imagine what kind of an enemy you'd make if you stole her man, or tried to, in her eyes. Just lie low. Sounds like you are all young, and young-age relationships never last very long. Wait until he's single again, then re-explore those feelings. It's better than risking a wonderful friendship.

Q: So, if a question was posted and I responded to it and it showed up on my column and then a little while later, the question and answer have vanished from my column AND from the questions list, does that mean that the person who posted the question has been banned and that all of their questions and responses thereto get deleted?

It's not that big of a deal, I'm just confused and hoping for clarification. Thanks.

The person either got banned, or that particular question was removed because of its content. I had something similiar happen in mine.

Q: Hey! I have this challenge thingy set by our teacher and it has a load of riddles on it. I'm really stuck on this certain one, please could you help with this one?

Three men have dinner together. The bill comes up to $30. The men each put down $10, which the waitress takes to the owner who says: They didn't have a very good deal, take $5 off the bill. The waitress is distressed at having to divide $5 by three so she pockets $2 and returns $1 to each man. So they end up paying $27 and she gets $2, this adds up to $29. But the diners orginally paid $30. Where is the extra dollar?

Very clever little word game. But it's just being tricky! They did, indeed end up paying 27, but then they mention that she kept 2$ and that adds up to 29. Umm... no because the 2 is already added to get 27. They paid 30, she takes out 5, so they paid 25 plus the 2 she kept is 27 plus the 3 she gave them back (1 each) is 30.

Q: my friends and i all hang out with the same group of guys all the time. ive liked one of the guys(greg) on and off since like last february. we went out for about a month(it was a pointless relationship cuz i only saw him like 4 times) antways, i recently found out from my friend that another kid in our little group, lets call him kyle, likes me. im not sure if kyle really likes me and ive never really tohught of him as more than a friend, but he is very cute and nice. lately, ive been thinking less about greg and ive been considering the possibilities with kyle. ive liked greg so much for so long and i dont think he likes me back. i dont want to start liking kyle just cuz he likes me, and also im afraid if something happens with me and kyle, ill still get jealous of other girls who like greg..... sorry its kinda confusing but i need help! xOx thanks in advance :)

You know, liking somebody is not monogamy. That is to say, you can like as many people as you want. I did the same thing when I was younger. I would torment myself over which I guy I "liked," as though liking him meant I had to be in some way faithful. Keep your options open, girl! Like ALL of them if you want to! It doesn't make you slutty or anything, it makes you rational! Dating or bumping uglies with more than one might be something that some would frown upon, but you can crush on and fantasize about as many boys as you like! Heck, try fantasizing about both of them at once, and feel a bit naughty! It'll do you some good to loosen up. Take care, tender heart.

Q: Okay well i am really upset because i was with my boyfriend for over 1 year and i have had enough of it yesterday. He told me that he didn't love me and that i don't know anything about love and he called me a bitch and childish! I love him with all my heart and it hurts me so much that i am not with him anymore, i broke up with him because i couldn't take it anymore. So after that i came in to my room and sat down at my computer and i started to break down crying and i think i had a mental break down. He said it would be better for me and him if i would treat him like a boyfriend and if i would grow up more. So i guess i am asking, how do i do those two things.

-Katie-

You want to grow up? I have a suggestion for the first step to take. FORGET THE JERK. He is an abusive piece of crap, from what I can see. You deserve to be treated better than that. Real men talk things out with you in an adult manner, they DO NOT insult and belittle you and offer ultimatums. You need to forget this loser and go find a man that will treat you right. THAT is what a mature woman would do at this point.

BTW - What does he mean "treat him like a boyfriend?" The best boyfriends and husbands are your best friend. You don't have to "treat" them like anything but love them, respect them, and enjoy their company. Do not waste another moment of thought on this jackass!

Q: My mother and I went to Sam's Club where you can buy everything in bulk, including a one gallon jug of syrup. When we got home the syrup jug had cracked open and spilled all over the inside of my trunk. We tried our best to scoop up what we could, but it is just soaked into the carpet, and is really sticky. My car smells like a pancake house! What can I do to clean up this mess?

The best way to get sticky stuff up is with hot water, or steam, to dissolve it. Many grocery stores rent out steamers that you can get for a day for about $20. Rent one of those and steam clean the interior. You can also try a professional carwash.

Q: I'm on the birth control shot and now my period is really screwed up..It will start and stop and start and stop and it's never regular..Is that a normal side effect?

Yes, it is. Give it a few months and your period should become normal or disappear entirely, since depo makes you stop ovulating. If you are still having these symptoms by this time next month, I would schedule an appt with the doctor, just to get a check-up. Take care and be healthy.

Q: I am a cutter and my friends all say i should stop and blah blah blah... BUT I DONT WANT TO!!! And i think someone told my Guidance Couselor and i dont know what to do...? Should i deny all or what?
~Help me out!~

Cutting and wanting to cut is understandable. There has been either a good deal of pain in your life or a lack of feelings in general. Cutting makes you feel alive and in control. I know it's very hard to face, but cutting is not healthy. It's hypocritical, however, for people to force you to get help when what you are doing is not as harmful as smoking, unprotected sex, and other "bad" activities that are more socially acceptable. The people who want to help you are doing it because they care about you. You are an individual, capeable of making your own decisions, but you should to listen to what the people who care about you say. You don't have to take their advice. But at least give it a listen. Just the fact that you are posting this question here tells me that you know something is wrong. Do what you know is right for you.

Q: Please dont delete

I need a slogan bcuz im running for vice president of student council which is a very important club, i was thinking of one like 'Voice For Me So I Can Be Your Next VP' but i wud like sumthin more unique or i dunno.. just good n nothin common. please help soon thanks david

Here's one:

"A vote for David is a vote for Poor Grammar!"

Q: Hey I'm 14/m and i still haven't ever kissed a girl outside my family.... I feel kinda out of place here because I'm already in high school and ive never kissed.... is there something wrong with me?

My brother in law is 19 and has never kissed a girl. There is something vaguely wrong with that at his age, but not with you! I kissed my first boy at 14. You'll get or give your first smooch soon enough. Good icebreaker for you: In front of a girl you like, say that you've never kissed a girl before. When she shows sympathy, ask her if she'd like to change that. Be playful about it, and even if you get a turn down, she'll respect you for being so bold. Go get 'em, tiger.

Q: Okay...There's this guy that likes me at school. And he's really short well for me anyway because im 5'4 right now. He doesn't bother me at all, but it's his friends. All they do is say things like "Will you go out with him, do you like him, he's in love with you!!". I wouldn't have any trouble with it if they didn't harass me every minute. It's just so distracting because now every time a guy asked me if i like him i scream, "NO I DONT GO THE F- AWAY!" or something real close to it. Im at the end of the rope because it's been happening for osme time now and i cant seem to know what to do! please help me!!! thank you
signed,
stressed out!

Just ignore the friends. He's obviously sent his posse to provoke you because he does, indeed, really like you. As for the height thing, I know it's hard, but try not to be shallow about it. How would you feel if the guy you liked said you weren't pretty enough or thin enough? Put the height aside and look at the boy!

Q: I am going to start fencing because our university has a fencing club and I have always been interested in sowrd play so it is a logical decision. At any rate, my question is this. Should I start with an epee, a foil, or a saber?

The foil is the easiest to begin with. You typically start with the foil as you learn the basics and then move up to either epee or sabre when you are more comfortable with the sport. The foil has a smaller target area you can hit and a smaller range of moves you can use to strike it properly. It's a good way to get your feet wet. I took 2 semesters of fencing in college and about a year of lessons in Culver City. Good luck, it's a very proper and fun sport.

Q: Ok, im 7ft tall, and of course a guy. It seems like every time i approach a girl shes always so afraid of me. She never wants to talk to me and hold a convo. w/ me. When people do talk to me, they always ask how tall i am, then sit and stare. Why are girls so afraid of me? and how do you suggest i cure this problem, and maybe advise on how to keep the convo going w/o it dropping off at how big my feet are.

I recommend that you go find a tall girl! Not really tall, mind you, as I'm sure there aren't too many wandering about, but one around my height is great. I am 5'10" and always have felt like a beast around men because I towered over them in High School. It wasn't until I was a senior that the fellas finally passed me up. Tall men, like you, make me feel small and delicate, and that's a really nice feeling. If the shorties are too intimidated to give you time, nuts on them! Another solution is to become friends first. People are all naturally curious about things they don't see everyday, and are going to be in awe of you because they don't realize being tall is just as sensitive as other body differences. Would they walk up to a fat man and ask what he weighed? Of course not! I suggest dating friends who are already comfortable with you and aren't looking at your feet, but at your face and heart.

Q: My semi formal is the same night as my Dad's dinner for winning employee of the year. I didnt go to my semi formal last year and a boy that I really like might ask me to the semi.. What do you guys think I should do? ( They're at the same times too!!)

Your dad doesn't win every year, does he? Unless it's your senior year, I say go with your father. If it IS your senior year, dad will understand.

Q: Okay im a freshmen and I hate my new high school its Waterford Kettering in Michigan and I miss all my old friends including my best friend who I am so close to and I miss her so much and im goin through a lot because of it and this whole thing just sucks I started smoking, stealing and cutting again n I don’t wanna but im so depressed about other things too. I could go to Waterford Mott where she is but I don’t have a ride home…I live w/ my mom and my dad lives in Mott territory but they said the buses are “too full and its not guaranteed” or something stupid like that so now I can’t go. My question is does anyone in this advice thing go to Waterford Mott? And if so I really need a ride home…I’d be willing to pay or whatever I just need to go to Mott before I do something stupid. Everything’s just so fucked up n I can never stop crying. I need help. Or does anyone live in Rivers Edge Apartments? Cuz that’s where my dad lives.

The only advice I have for you is to move and change schools, because now allthe weirdo fat old internet pervert old men have enough of your personal information to stalk and kidnap you with, retard. Seriously, do you people grow up in an alternate universe where there are no sickos? If you were my kid, I'd beat your ass right now.

Q: okay.. i have this friend... well.. this year.. a few guys have been liking me.. and they know me and this girl are friends.. so they ask her to hook us up.. well.. she always tells me they want to hook up... but then after she knows im interested.. she goes after them.. i dont know what to do.. i dont want to say anything to her.. because it would sound rude... hellp!!

Tell her you're not interested next time. Then go talk to the boy yourself! They asked her about YOU, not herself, so just cut out the middle man (or middle girl, as it were) and nip her crap in the bud without a confrontation.