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Q: when i was 9 or 10 my brother molested me. the molestation went so far i would even call it rape. while it was going on i told him no i didnt want to but he made me think i was wrong for not wanting to. afterwards he tried to have these sex talks with me about how to do sexual acts and what happens when guys get excited, i finally told him i didn;t want to talk about this with him. it took alot of courage but i hated it, i hated him. he told me if i told anybody he would tell them that i touched him, and that nobody would believe me. i felt disgusting, and i thought [still think] people will think i am disgusting for letting that happen to me.

now im 15 and it still horrifies me. i have never told anybody because im afraid they will think i am gross. i can never tell my parents, NEVER, because they will not believe me. He hides it so well and soemtiems i even wonder if he remembers doing it. once i braught it up, he acted like he didnt know what i was talking about and i sut up quickly, i didnt want to talk about it. I know it happened... but there is nothing i can do

now it is a huge problem b/c i have been dating this great guy for 3 months and i won't let him touch me. at first i just told him i was prude but when he puts his arms around me i freak, and once i decided to just ignore it and make out with him as uncomfortable as i was, he hand started to go up my shirt and i ran out of the room and started to cry hysterically. this shouldnt still be happening, but it is affecting me now more than ever.

i need this to go away
please help me forget about this and overcome my fear of somebody touching me. my bf is going to dump me if i keep doing this, he doesnt know why, im never going to tell him.

please help im desperate

okay well i think you need to talk to someone about what happened to you. If you dont get this out it will only keep affecting you even more and it will hold you back in life. Possibly you could go to your school and see if there are any consulers you can see outside of school if you dont feel comfortable talking to the ones at school and somehow arrange to see them. if you have friend who drive that can help. Just talk about it you need to tell someone. Now as for the situation with your boyfriend he is probably feeling like he has done something wrong such as violate you. What you have to do is be honest with him now, i am not saying tell him the whole ordeal but tell him you were molested when you were younger. If he loves you he will understand and you both will work it out. Good Luck.

Q: Alright... so my boyfriend and I have been have been having intercourse for like 4 months now. I was his first ever. The first time we did it, he didn't come. Isn't that unusual for a first time guy?! And lately when we do it, he is hard when he goes in, and then he gets soft inside of me and he cant get it back up. And I feel nothing really... no pleasure at all. What does that mean? Another thing that is bugging me is when I want to please him (orally) because i want to please him, he usually stops me and says that he is happy just being with me and he says he doesn't need for me to finish him. Honestly, what guy would not want that?! He is always giving and not receiving (even though i want to give). I was just asking if there are any really good tips you know that would arouse him, or make him have greater interest in doing it. Both of my issues that I am having are confusing and I have no idea what the problem is! Please help!!

well maybe he feels you are just doin all of this to please him. Does he please you orally? Some guys just get aroused by the fact of hearing their girlfriend be turned on. Sounds kind of odd but my boyfriend is like that. Sometimes just rubing your boyfriend in a certain spot that turns him on persay. For example maybe its his neck or leg. Figure that spot out if you already have use that to your advantage. Play hard to get, that turns a guy on completely. You could use lube ky you could use your hand instead. For example or you could talk to him about his sexual fantasys hear him out and if it is possible make them come true. You can tell him why you care bout him and if all else fails ask him why he is acting so odd, as i have said before relationships are more than just physical, it takes communication. So some night maybe just take time to talk, go out to eat, a movie something, besides having intercourse unless him leads towards it.

Good luck,
Brittni

Q: Im 16/F and ive never been kissed. I'm not a loser..i have a lot of guy and girl friends but i just have never made out with anyone. Is this bad?

No this isnt a bad thing it acually shows that you have some standards. And i am sure a guy wants to kiss you he may just have been nervous, your oppertunity will come and when it does keep those standards. Kissing is an intimate thing.

Q: okay so i hang out with this guy all the time and last night it was clear that he wanted to kiss me and he hinted at it but i just couldn't do it! i wanted to, but i think i was afraid i'd suck at it or something.
now i'm really mad that i didn't do it.

seriously is that a legitimate fear? that i'll be a horrible kisser? or am i just being paranoid and have nothing to worry about?

well i know you maybe nervous that you are a bad kisser but dont worry about it i am sure the guy thinks the same thing. The guy may even think since you arent kissing him that you dont want to kiss him. Ive had a similar experience. Just go for it and it will come naturally and it might turn out that he is the one who is a bad kisser. Who knows. And the worst possible thing is that you guys dont like the way the other kisses its a personal preference really, there is no such thing as a bad kisser in my book.

Q: Everytime I go to Carson's house [My boyfriend] I'm really bored. His little brother always watches some G rated movie with us, and his parents always cook some nasty food. I hate eating at their house because all they eat is seafood, and thats the one thing I hate more then anything else. How can I get him to stop inviting me over? I'm all out of excuses, and his parent's won't let him at my house.

You have to be completely honest with him even though you may hurt his feelings. But in a relationship you have to give a little to get a little. Everyone has to make sacrifices in a relationship because you care about the other person. Or maybe all of these things are bothering you because you dont like this boy as much as you thought and you are starting to find out he really isnt that interesting. But if you truely care about him you will discuss what bothers you.

Q: well me and my boyfriend are back together he asked me out and i said yeah...but he is being nice but he wants to go to this place where all my friends hangout and all his friends play soccer and we all hang out there and im just worried that he will hit on my friends...and tommorow he is going to new jersey with his friends but i dont trust his friends because they always try to break us up and i dont know what i should do should i be mad that he is going to the those places?...well thank you

hey,
In this situtation you need to have trust. Trust plays a major key in a relationship. As for his friends most guys are like that. If your boyfriend cares about you he won't let his friends make his desions for him. And if he does happen to break up with you try to find someone else. Apparently he doesn't care too much about you (if he does break up with you) and if he doesn't care about you why should you waste your time on him.

love,
Brittni

Q: ok well a couple of days ago i put on perfectly clean underwear and at the end of the day it looked like i had gotten my period. i havent gotten my period yet so i thought i was starting to get it. so the next day i didnt think i got it, so i put new perfectly clean underwear and it did the same thing. like it had little redish brownish stains on it. so then the next day i still didnt put a pad on and i put perfectly clean underwear and nothing showed up on it or whatever. is this normal? like it was for 2 days that i got those little stains on my underwear now it stopped. is this a sign that im getting my period soon? does it usually do this?

thanks im advance.

p.s.-sorry it was so long

hey,
yeah that is completely normal happens to a lot of girls. It does infact mean you are going to get your period soon so be aware.
love,
brittni

Q: Yesterday; I had a really bad stomach ache; then at like midnight I threw up. This morning I felt fine and now i feel sick again. What can I do to get better?

hey,
i have the same problem it is probably your nerves. What you can do is drink something hot like tea and eat crackers it helps absorb the acid in your stomach. Pepto bismal helps as well. Try to relax.
i hope you feel better.

Love,
Brittni

Q: Is it true that swallowing sperm makes your boobs bigger?

Is it true that eating a spoonful of peanut butter before going to bed helps you lose weight?

Is it true that drinking a cup of green tea boosts your metabolism?

no swallowing sperm doesn't make your boobs bigger.
i highly doubt eating a spoonful of peanut butter makes you lose weight although it is a good source of protein for your body.
and yes green tea does help boost your metabolim.

Q: Plus+White 5 Minute Whitening

It is for whitening teeth and I was interested in trying. Does anyone know if it actually works?

Thanks! :)

hey,
yeah it does work but it can be rather expensive so if you're interested i acually recently i found out a great way to make your teeth whiter. All you do is mix peroxide with baking soda until it forms a paste. Then, you put it on your toothbrush and brush keeps them white for a very cheap price.
love,
brittni

Q: Ok i am a 15 yr. old female who loves to be active. I usually run cross country but i decided that i would take a year off. But i have realized that i am gaining a little bit of weight and i don't like that. I am used to being quite thin. I play soccer and i would like to improve my skills there. But going out and playing soccer all day isn't going to cut it. I also have a short attention span. I do 250 crunches/situps every night. What would be an appropriate workout for me to do everyday. Something else i need to keep in mind is i have to work part time.

hey,
you could join a gym and workout for a half hour a day doing cardio. Cardio gives you the best results and keep up with the crunches and you'll be fine.

Q: i know im not lik FAT, but im fatter than some people, and i keep eating and eating but im working at a camp where i waslk lik all day bt i dont seem to be losing weight, and my thighs are fat majorr turn off..any ideas>

hey,
i am doing this thing called the fruit diet it really is working for me. Also you can do squats to get your thighs thinner about 2 sets of 30 at a time.
love,
Brittni

Q: Hi! I am 13/f, and i haven't started my period yet. I also haven't started to grow too much up top. I am short for my age. Is this normal, or should i be worried? i know smaller people for some reason (smaller as in shorter) seem to develop up top slower.Should i be worried or not?
THanks a bunch

hey,
don't worry this is completely normal for your age. I know it may seem like you are far behind other girls but don't worry you'll catch up. Some girls don't even start developing until they reach the age of 16. As for you not getting your period, don't worry i didn't get mine till i was 14. Be glad that you don't have it yet it sucks. SO DON'T WORRY!

love,
Brittni

Q: recently i learned how completly nieve ive been. it turns out like a ton of people at my school cut themselves and i didn't notice at all. these are people im rwally close to...one's my best friend but you don't know her so as i promised i probably dont have to kill myself for telling you. you know i dont want her to hurt herself and what hurts me even more is that she says its the only thing that makes her happy. when i think about it i dont feel like im thinking a bout the same bff ive had since 1st grade and i just want her to stop. shes trying but im afriad if she doesn't have a theat it wont work. i dont want to tell an adult(well canr really) and i dont want her to be unhappy...but i DONT WANT HER TO KEEP DOING IT! How can i tell her to stop? and this doesn't mean shes like a masochist does it?

hey,
i know a lot of people who cut and who have. she is probably so depressed. Even though it is hard to tell an adult i think it is in best interest to talk to a consular about your friends problem. Threats don't work and can even make your friend cut herself more. Another thing you have to do is plan fun activities to do together to get her mind off her pain. Right now it may seem like you are helping your friend by not telling anyone but in the end you are acually hurting her.
love,
Brittni

Q: i want to cook a nice meal for my family so if you have any ideas on what i can cook that would be great i don't have to have the recipes i can look them up i just want to like cook a 3 course meal with and appetizer main course and dessert.
any advice would be great!!!!!

For the the appetizer you can make nachos or just prepare a nice salad. Now for a meal i have this great Chicken francese recipe i make it's really good.
you will need four skinless boneless chicken breasts
some flour
1-2 eggs
one lemon
salt and pepper

now put the olive oil in the frying pan. Once hot place the chicken in the pan to cook. When the chicken is cooked squeeze the lemon over the chicken and reduce heat(chicken should take 2-3 minutes each side)NOW ENJOY!

about 2tbs of olive oil

this is a good butter cake recipe for dessert..

1 package yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted
Mint leaves, for garnish
Whipped cream, for garnish
Filling:
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter
1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
mix the cake mix, egg, and butter together and mix well. Pat into a greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

Beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the eggs and vanilla.Add the butter and mix well. Add the powdered sugar and mix well. Spread over the cake mixture. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes. You want the center to be a little gooey.

hope this helps!

love,
brittni

Q: how can you get your photos to the right size (15k) to put on your advice column?

hey,
a really easy way to do it is adjust it in paint then save picture and upload it at
www.photobucket.com(free)
Then copy the url then you'll have your picture up in no time.
Love,
Brittni

Q: I really want to wear thongs because I tried my friends on once and it felt SO comfortable. I don't want one just because my friends wear them, because thats just stupid. I really like the feeling of them, but I'm afraid if I wear them, it'll seem like I'm a slut. The farthest I've gone with a guy is just a PECK on the lips, one time and thats it. So I'm no where near a slut. My mom doesn't care if I wear thongs, she actually even bought one for me. I want to wear it, but I don't want to feel slutty or people to think a slut. But I love the way they feel, they are good for when I wear tighter clothing, and my mom approves of them and I have one in my drawer already, so should I wear it or not? I'm 13 and female if it helps.

hey there,
i say if you're comfortable in it then wear it. A lot of people wear thongs not because they are sluts(well a small amount.) but so you can't see panty lines. Anyway who cares what people think? Ha trust me when you get a little older people will be making fun of you if you don't wear thongs, lifes weird that way. And if you're really feeling odd about wearing it just make sure it doesn't stick out of your pants then nobody will even have a clue you're wearing it.
Love,
Brittni

Q: is there any way you can increase your metabolism?

excercise is the best way to increase your metabolism, i know you've probably heard it a million times before but it's true. Infact, i've had a great deal of sucess once i started working out on a regular basis loosing 4 pounds so far. Also, drink some green tea before bed it's not just a great way to increase your metabolism but research shows it fights harmful dieseases. GOOD LUCK!!
love,
Brittni

Q: okay here is the thing. me and my friend where really close for an year and we got into these fights and decided to ignore me for 5 months. 2 days ago and IM's me and says he was sorry for what he did. and that he'd like to talk again but not turning back to close friends we were.

and the thing is im not sure if i should give him a chance..or forget it. because it feels a tad akward.

anyone know any good songs for this kinda thing.?

thanks

hello,
This must be a hard situation for you, i know i've been there. Talking to him again may seem a bit awkward but, i am sure he feels the same way you do. The guy apologized so apparently he still wants to be your friend. Don't shut him out if you do he will probably be even more angry or upset. After awhile things may change sometimes they may not. But, it's better to have him as a friend than not to be his friend at all right? I hope this helps and that you guys pick up where you left off before the fights.
Love,
Brittni

Q: i am moving today and i was wondering if you have any tips for my bedroom.. its pink!! i need some decorating tips..please help;)...14/f

hello,
my room is pink and black which looks great. you could get black bedding and zebra pillows it would make the room interesting. Pink and green looks good together as well make sure it's a lime green though. Remember to add your own personal touches to make it your own. Good luck with the move.
love,
Brittni

bio

Hello there the names Brittni, I decided to make a site on advicenators because i wanted to help others with their struggles, its a passion of mine, i hope one day to achieve my dream of opening a center for teens. Let it be known that i will never judge you based on a question you ask, i will simply give you an answer i find fitting, but dont expect me to candy coat my answer, im going to be honest. In the past i have been faced with many difficult things and looking back i am confident i made the right decisions. I've been through a lot personally, i've heard a lot, I've seen a lot, I've grown a lot. Heck, i know im not perfect but im the best version of myself i can be which is perfection in my eyes. I know sometimes speaking to someone you know about your issue is hard, trust me i've been there. Just like i have helped others i am here to help you with the best intentions. So i am here for you if you need me.

never feel hesitant when asking me a question, leave me one in my inbox and i will get back to you as soon as possible.