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molested...
when i was 9 or 10 my brother molested me. the molestation went so far i would even call it rape. while it was going on i told him no i didnt want to but he made me think i was wrong for not wanting to. afterwards he tried to have these sex talks with me about how to do sexual acts and what happens when guys get excited, i finally told him i didn;t want to talk about this with him. it took alot of courage but i hated it, i hated him. he told me if i told anybody he would tell them that i touched him, and that nobody would believe me. i felt disgusting, and i thought [still think] people will think i am disgusting for letting that happen to me.
now im 15 and it still horrifies me. i have never told anybody because im afraid they will think i am gross. i can never tell my parents, NEVER, because they will not believe me. He hides it so well and soemtiems i even wonder if he remembers doing it. once i braught it up, he acted like he didnt know what i was talking about and i sut up quickly, i didnt want to talk about it. I know it happened... but there is nothing i can do
now it is a huge problem b/c i have been dating this great guy for 3 months and i won't let him touch me. at first i just told him i was prude but when he puts his arms around me i freak, and once i decided to just ignore it and make out with him as uncomfortable as i was, he hand started to go up my shirt and i ran out of the room and started to cry hysterically. this shouldnt still be happening, but it is affecting me now more than ever.
i need this to go away
please help me forget about this and overcome my fear of somebody touching me. my bf is going to dump me if i keep doing this, he doesnt know why, im never going to tell him.
please help im desperate
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Hi, Im not going to start by telling you I understand what you're going through. But I did have my own experiences with being molested when i was 8. I know its hard. Hard really isn't the word. Because the pain is through and through and you cant seem to get rid of it.
The best thing I have ever did was tell someone. On your own time go to a professional and tell them what happened to you. Im not saying go tell your parents and friends, but a psychologist knows how to deal with this pain.
The reason why you being molested when you were young is affecting you more now than ever, is because you know how criminally wrong it is. And the older you get the more you'll think about it. the more it will hurt you, until you tell someone.
As a person who has been molested. i URGE you to tell someone, and if you cant find anyone to trust, i can arrange something for you with someone trusted. and talk through email.
Anyway. I hope this help at all.
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This is not your fault. You were a child, and an older person manipulated and abused you. Sexual abuse is really, really toxic stuff - if you truly want to work through it, you will most likely only be able to do that with a professional.
This means seeing a counsellor - your school might be able to recommend one, your community might have a charity that offers counselling to teenagers, or you can ask your doctor. A common effect of sexual abuse is the person (no matter how old they get) feeling dirty and somehow at fault. Even if they logically know it isn't true, their emotions can interfere in them forming successful and healthy relationships, or enjoying sex.
I'm not saying this to scare you, only to inject some reality into the situation. If you are nervous about entering counselling, you could start small - phone a free helpline for sexual abuse/rape (google will give you numbers), or correspond with a professional via email.
You may feel you are gross, but no one who hears your story will think that. When I read your question, my first thought was what a horrible situation someone else had put you in - you said no, you were a child (and even if you had agreed to the sexual activities, you were too young to consent and it would NOT be your fault), and you have been abused.
I send warmest feelings to you, reassurance that at least one person you've told thinks you are SO BRAVE for sharing your story, and very deep hopes that you will speak to a professional about this.
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My gosh, I am so sorry.I really am.I am so upset that you havnt told anyone not even your 'rents.I really think you should tell only your boyfriend what had happened.It will be hard, but you should really tell him.He'll understand why you are like this.But it is affecting you,so you HAVE to tell your bf, he'll be more protecive and keep you safe.Maybe go to a phycologist, this way you can tak about anything and everything.
BUTTT, if you feel this cant go on, tell your parents and go to the police and take them down.Strangley enough, it happened to my friend and she did the same thing and now, he is gone, prison for a very very long time.
I definalty recommend talking to your boyfriend and about it and maybe you and him cna go to phycologist.You then can go to the police.Your bf will be there 100%.
If you cannot cope anymore, please ring childline, they can do so much for you and can helo you big time.They have so much advice and can help you through a lot.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Contact them now and do something about this.
I hope I help,
take him down!
I am absolutly so sorry about what has happened but you can fight this
Sadie xxx
Let me know how it goes xx
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What your brother did is terrible. It should have never happened. Nobody will think your gross , you DID NOT do anything wrong. You need to talk to someone about this. If you really belive that your parents wont belive you then talk to a guidance counsler at school , it's affecting you now and it's only going to get worse with time . If you feel boyfriend is going to dump you for not letting him touch you then explain what happened , get it off your chest to someone who cares about you , you'll feel a thousand times better and he should understand. What happened to you is something you will have to deal with the rest of your life and it will hinder you if you don't take action . Talk about it get it out there , your brother needs help . Even if you don't want to tell someone do it. You need help dealing with this , your 15 and nobody can deal with this alone. Your brother neededs help , if he did it to his own sister who knows who he could do it to , by going to someone and saying something it wont just help you greatly but it may infact save someone the agony that your going through and have had to live with from the horrible experiences that you had when you were little.
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Hey darling,
What can i say this is absultly horrible...
I know it would be hard but i really believe you need to tell someone or talk to your school councillor, they can't tell anyone without your permission or anything so anything you said would be kept confidential, i know it would be hard but you really need to see someone. Rape is illigal, this isn't just going to go away... yo will probably have it at the back of your mind for ages. but the thing is you need to come up with ways to deal with whats happened. By saying that i mean, accepting it nd moving on or coming up with ways to push the thought out of your mind. Its gonig to be a long ride but you have to get through it before you get older.. the longer you wait the harder it is going to be... I strongly advise of gonig to a councellor, no-one has to know your seeing someone. maybe you should talk to your bf, make him understand that your not totally comfortable with guys touching you and state that its reasons you don't wanna say... make sure he knows that he's not doing anything wrong, maybe you should also tell him yu are not comfortable with sexual activites... if he isn't okay with that i don't think your relationship was meant to be, he should respect your decisions as should any guy... Its worse that its your brother cause he's going to be around in your life forever... you really need to get help from someone!!!
Bless you and hoping the best for you
Elle
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okay well i think you need to talk to someone about what happened to you. If you dont get this out it will only keep affecting you even more and it will hold you back in life. Possibly you could go to your school and see if there are any consulers you can see outside of school if you dont feel comfortable talking to the ones at school and somehow arrange to see them. if you have friend who drive that can help. Just talk about it you need to tell someone. Now as for the situation with your boyfriend he is probably feeling like he has done something wrong such as violate you. What you have to do is be honest with him now, i am not saying tell him the whole ordeal but tell him you were molested when you were younger. If he loves you he will understand and you both will work it out. Good Luck.
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