about

advice

I come from a fairly poor family (we are barely holding onto our house, and I pay for my own food, clothing, school supplies, etc.) I turned 16 in November but was unable to have any kind of party (we can't even afford chips and soda for an at-home party). It upset me at the time but I thought I'd gotten over it. Recently, for whatever reason, I've been really upset that I didn't get to have a sweet sixteen. A lot of people forgot my birthday too! I had tried to feel better before by reminding myself that I could have a big 18th or 21th birthday party...but I'll turn 17 as a senior and so all my friends will be in college when I turn 18. I don't know, I just feel like I've missed out on a rite of passage and that makes me really sad. Any ideas to make me feel a little better?

I am so sorry :( Birthday partys arent everything, you are still getting older, cherish your life. No matter how bad it could be, there is alway someone out there with it worse, its somewhat unimaginable but its true.

Be thankful for your heath, and for your family, and friends, look to the postive, not the negative.

[view]

basically i like this guy who has a new girlfriend and he just found out i like him and he likes me too..but he has a girlfriend

i dont want to be the kind of girl who breaks people up but how do i make him see im the better choice? sorry if that sounded conceited.

if you watch the oc, im looking for something along the lines of seth declaring his love for summer on top of a coffee cart kind of thing. something brave.

i want to show him he means something to me.

ideas?

You just said there yourself,
that you dont want to be the kind of girl who breaks people up. Dont take this in the wrong way, because I mean it in your best interest. Let their relationship work, let them be together, because if he is supposed to be with you, they will eventually break up, and you will have your chance. Let her (them) have their chance.

And as for the declaring how much he means to you, shows like "The OC" are super duper cute and all, but things dont usually work like that. And in your case, if you did that, feelings might get hurt, most likely yours.

But anyways good luck,
good things come to those who wait :)

[view]

NO FUNNY ANSWERS: STORY: Ok the two players are Kerry and Patti. Kerry and Patti were having a conversation about many things and then all of a sudden the following happened. Kerry said: “Patti I think you are a size 5/6 in clothing.” Patti didn’t say anything. Kerry said: “The temp that works with me pointed to you and said that girl has to be a size 5/6 in clothing.” Patti still didn’t say anything. Kerry said: “You have hips, but they aren’t big.” Patti just listened and didn’t say anything. Kerry went on and said: “Look at my hips, my hips are big, yours are not.” At 5:00PM Kerry and Patti walked to their cars together, and Kerry told Patti again that Patti looks like a size 5/6. Patti asked Susan (a person who witnessed the conversation) “Does Kerry think I have big hips?” Susan: said “No Kerry doesn’t, Kerry even told you that she doesn’t think you have big hips All Kerry is saying is you are thin but with shape.” MY QUESTION: DO YOU AGREE WITH SUSAN THAT ALL THE KERRI IS SAYING IS THAT PATTI IS THIN BUT WITH SHAPE?

I'm not really sure. If someone says something and you cant tell if its sarcastic or mean, I've been told to just assume its not either, and that its nice. Because if you over anyalize everything everyone says to you, you'll get a headache real soon. I dont think she should have guessed what size she is, because its not really anyones buisness, unless she tells them. But I would just not worry about it. Dont think too hard about it, assume that susan is telling the truth.

[view]

My last grandma left has been smoking for a really really long time, AND I WANT HER TO STOP! I love my grandma soooooo much and I hysterically cry everytime I think of her dying of something she could have easily prevented. It's probably the only thing that can cause me to cry easily! Can anyone give me any ideas, any at all that I can use to convince my grandma to stop smoking! I tell her to stop but all she says is "oh i know" and when I tell her to use the patches and all that crap she says she tried. Please anything at all to make her stop stop!!

I would confront her.
Tell her how you feel, and let your emotions out,
cry even, if she sees how much this hurts you, maybe she will reconsider trying to quit.
Tell her exactly what you said on here, that you start to cry thinking of how she could die, and it could have been prevented by not smoking, and that you love her so much. Motivate her to want to stop, and encourage her as best as you can. Go on walks, enjoy nature, do things she likes to do, to keep her mind off of it.


God Bless!

[view]

my best friend's grandmother is dying...what do i do...i dont want to see her sad :(

Just be there for her.
If you cant think of anything to say, that is okay.
Just you being there for her is enough.

[view]

Today was tutoring for my math class after school. Usually for tutoring, there are quite a few kids in the class so the teacher can't pay all that much attention to the kids individually, but I did get one of my questions asked. During the time I was at tutoring today, I did get one of my questions asked though, but most of the time the teacher was busy. But that's okay, I didn't mind. I just did my homework until I was done.

Then my mom called me and said she was there to pick me up already, so I had to go before the tutoring session was over. I was a little annoyed that I had to leave before I got to ask the teacher more questions but it wasn't that big a deal. So as I'm finishing up the last little bits of my homework, he walks up and asks if I'm okay with everything. So I say,

"Yeah I'm okay. I'm just mad that I have to go because I still have a couple of questions I wanted to ask you." He says "oh okay." Then I say, "But I can just ask you those on Thursday." And then he says "okay, just make sure you remember." I don't think I sounded mad or anything but I didn't want it to come off that way.

My question is, did saying "I'm just mad that I have to go because I still have a couple of questions I have to ask you" seem rude? Because I wasn't trying to be sound mad at all. I was just annoyed that I had to leave so soon.

This is probably really an idiotic thing to be asking for advice on but I just wanted some opinions. If this didn't make much sense the way I explained it feel free to ask me to clear it up for you. If you're taking the time to actually read this and reply, thank you!

I dont think so not at all.
I would probably say something like that myself,
dont worry about it.
And if you feel so guilty, you can tell him you didnt mean for it to sound that way if he thought it did.
But I'm pretty sure everything is just fine.

[view]

Okay, I am really nervous about getting my braces off. I mean, I am worried that those brown spots will be underneath the brackets and my teeth will look gross. I brush my teeth twice a day with whitening toothpaste for the recommended two minutes and wash my mouth out with listerine. Is that enough? It's really hard to floss!

oh my worddd
i knwo this probably wont help you
but im worried about this too!
i'm getting my braces off soooon.
but dont worry about it, theres not enough whiting stuff in the toothpaste to make you have spots on your teeth. (my dentist told me that today :) ) so yeah. If you make sure you get all the food out and brush everything good, im sure everything iwll be fine!

[view]

hi,

i was just wondering what your name, defined eyes, means?

thank you

xx

ahah well i'm asian,
so i put that,
asian eyes ;]

[view]

I've been trying to upload a video onto Youtube, yet it's not being accepted. The length is not a problem. [It's only about five minutes] I guess it's the size? Who knows. I've previously posted a video by using the same camera and programs and never had a problem. I wrote to the people on the site yesterday, but I need a quicker response.Any ideas?

IT could be the way you saved it.
The format,
I use.. .windows movie maker,
and I do "save movie file as"
and choose how bigyou want it, and etc.

[view]

I get really tired and sick of people going "OMG I LOVE THAT BAND" -- like bands that has existed for a while and had just not become recognized and popular like P!ATD and MCR and Flyleaf and etc. It gets really annoying because I've known the bands for a long time and they assume that I just another one going crazy for that band and later ditching it for another newly discovered band. How do I disconect myself from this and make it known to people that I've known them for a long time before they evern appeared on MTV or even came on the radio?

Also, any bands out there that aren't discovered yet? Thanks. Most of the bands that I knew are not on MTV...

I used to be like you.
But theres no reason, bands like P!ATD, like being on MTV and they like getting popular, so that more people will know about them. Its part of what they want. They want to be famous, and have their music known. They want old fans, new fans, etc. It doesnt matter if you know about them first.

You dont need to prove that you've known that band, let them think what they want. I mean I know it will bug you, but let it go. Because it honestly doesnt matter how long anyone has liked a band.


A lot of bands, that make MTV, are happy, beacuse well ... famous, more people will know about their band.
And it doesnt matter if the band is undiscovered, to be quite honest, a lot of people think they can make a band now because they can scream. But that doesnt make them good. Everyoen can scream.

And just because there are songs on the radio, or on tv, on channels like MTV, doesnt mean people cant like them, just because someone else likes them. Usually they are pretty good songs.

But anyways thats just my opinion.
I dont mean to piss you off, or anything,
but its just how i feel on this subject.

[view]

Whats that song that has the line about ripping up your heart and sewing it shut. its like, bout trying to help some one i think...

scars - papa roach

"i tear my heart open, i sew myself shut, my weakness is that i care too much, and my scars remind me that the past is real, i tear my heart open just to feel"

[view]

How do you get rid of stress? Actually I don't think stress is a word to call it because it is much more negative and deeper than stress but it's not anger. I think it's more like drama like in dramas are really strong and deep like the feeling in soap operas kinda and I just get so 'drama'/depressed in my mind that I cry every night and just feel really bad inside all the time. And i'm really ugly and stuff so it keeps bringing me down to help myself feel better. I just keep thinking so negative all the time.

Aw, well hun I know how you feel.
I really do, but one thing that could fix this, is stop focusing on the bad parts in life.

Dont keep drudging all the sad memorys and things up, it will just make you miserable, like its doing now I guess. Also, respect yourself, dont call yourself ugly. Everyone is beautiful and unique in their own way, and looks arent everything. Beauty is skin deep, and beauty cannot be proven. You cant prove someones ugly nor pretty. Dont worry about it. I'm sure you are a goregous girl, who just needs a little confidence. Try talking to your friends, or a school counsular, trust me, both of those options work wonders. They know what to say and how to help.

And I know about thinking "negatively" its not htat you are negative, its that you just view the world differently, and things you say probably sound "negative" to other people because they dont think they way you do. I learned from my counsular, that..there are different types of people like "A's,B's,C's and D's" and that I'm a D, and D"s make up like 5% of the world.. you know, so everyone else basicly seems like they all just think the same.
Atlesat in my experience thats how it seems.

But look up dear, everything will get better,
and to be honest, sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.

[view]

1. What is Canada's most economic product?

2. What province or place in Canada is most known for growing wheat?

3. Were the Ukarainians the first Europeans to settle in New France? If not who were they?

If you can answer any of them, THANK YOU.

I agree with the person below.
This information can be easily obtained by googling it or using online search engines.

[view]

Alright...Im a 15/f
I have a boyfriend of almost 4 months now. and known eachother since 7th grade.
I love him....
i just dont know if i like him.
When i talk to him....Sometimes i get pissed off and he hasnt really even done anything im just sick of talking to him. and then theres times where he deserves me to be mad at him and i just cant be.

I have no idea what to do!!!
Break up or not?

To be quite blunt.
Highschool relationships dont last out of highschool that often.

What I'm trying to say is,
dont lead the boy on if you dont have feelings for him anymore.
It doesnt matter how many months you've been dating him, but if you love him, and care for him.

If you are getting sick of him, I would break up. Tell him why though.
Dont lead him on.

[view]

aiight this guyfriend of mine loves me and i dont really like him. i think he's gonna ask me out when i go back to school. hes a great guy and all but i have no physical attraction to him at alllll. i mean a guy doesnt have to be goodlooking for me to like them but i mean i need to at least have a connection. with my friend theres nothing. i would say no but... during vacation ive been thinking about him a TONN. im like obsessing over him. but i dont like him that way?? [i dont think] if he asks me out, should i give him a chance?

thxx all

Yes I say give him a chance.
You never know how it could turn out

[view]

16/F

I used to be friends with this girl (ill call her T) Well T and I became best friends in like 8th grade and we were inseperable. We used to do everything together (movies, mall, sleepovers, parties) we could even finish eachothers sentences. When me and T hangout we have a really good time, but she has stabbed me in the back more then once. T was texting/calling my boyfriend when we were going out and then when we broke up she went out with him like 2 months later another time there was this guy i really liked and he liked me and she was jealous so she would tell him that i dont really like him and was telling him things to make him like her..he ended up going out with some other girl. She has also tried to get people who are my friends against me too and she loves to copy me like my clothes, hair, guys i like, etc.. Now were both in 11th grade and since school started we havent been talking about 5 or 6 months and truthfully i miss hanging out with her and being friends but i dont know how to even start up a conversation and tell her how i feel because i dont want her to think im crawling back or not want to be friends, i know she has not been a good friend in the past but idk what to do can anyone help?

Okay, reality check.
People change - I dont mean to sound mean,
but people change. Your relationship from 8th grade isnt going to be the same now. Sometimes you cant go back to being best friends. I guess you have to learn to accept that sometimes friends arent forever. And if she's treated you bad and done all that stuff to you in the past, and hasnt apologized... what makes you think she wont do it again?

But if you really wish to be friends again
I suggest sending her an email
telling her how you feel,
and basicly what you wrote on here.
And wait for a response, and the response if there is one, will show wether you two will be able to be friends again.

[view]

these 2 girls i met this summer went to peurto rico together for december break. all 3 of us are pretty close. but since them 2 are away on that vacation i know that they will become reallllly close. next summer we are going together to the same camp, and im worried that i'll be left out because they became really close.
what can i do to prevent this or not think about it? should i talk to them about it?

p.s i didnt go because that girl could only bring one friend... and chose her

Okay, well first of all.
Dont worry about them going away together,
I mean to be quite honest, living together with friends for a couple weeks, can really get on your nerves. They could get sick of each other, and I'm guessing they will. And when they come back, they will be glad to be around you.
Also, dont worry about things that havent happened you, if they didnt come back yet, dont worry about how they are going to act.
Friends are happy for friends.
You can tell them how you feel, but dont become a big baby about it, I myself have 2 best friends, and we are allowed to do stuff with just two of them and not the other one. We can meet new people, and we dont all always have to behanging out together. Just dont annoy them, tell them how you feel, and what you are afraid is going to happen, and most likely they will be understanding.


[view]

theres this boy in one of my classes and we dont really talk that much and i think hes really cute and hes not the coolest person ever lol so i dont think theres anyone else that wants him (possibly one other girl but im not really worried about her) anyways, what are some ways to talk to him without it being too random? cause hes really nice and cute and i want him to know im interested.

thanks!

Well... first of all, its not nice to say he's not the "coolest person ever, lol so i dont think theres anyone else that wants him'
thats not really nice at all.

If he knew you thought that about him, he probably woudlnt want to go out with someone like that.

But thats besides the point,
just talk to him.
Random isnt bad, ask him whats up..
be yourself.
Flirt.
Its pretty simple :)

Compliment him, that should let him know you like him.

[view]

I can't loose him.
I can't.

He just broke up with me.
I love him.

I can't do this.

I can't give him up this easily.

What do i do?

First, just calm down.
Think about why he broke up with you.
If theres definate reasons,
think about them, and weigh them.

Give him some time.
And give yourself some time.
Also remember you cant make him want you back, if he wants everything done with.

Despite you loving him, does he love you?

I guess overall what I suggest is
give him time, send him an email or something, asking whats up why he broke up with you,
but leave it like that for a while.
The more you bug him, the less chances are of you two getting back together. Tell him how you feel about him.

good luck.

[view]

This is embarasing but I have pretty hairy arms. All my friends shave theirs and stuff but I heard that makes it grow back darker and stuff. I obviously don't want to get the lazer treatment done or anything crazy like that. Does anyone know any ideas of how to solve my problem?

Dont shave your arms.
Its true it just makes them stubbly feeling, and darker and not soft.

There is avon lotion and lots of kinds of lotions that make your hair lighter and less visible.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker