Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10377
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Ok well I'm just going to get to the point, one of my friends Carla(changed her name), asked another "friend" of mine "do you like her boyfriend?" To which she replied "Yes! But don't tell her this I think he likes me better than her and I'm way better..." etc. Etc. Well i asked her if that was true the next day and she immediately replied "No! I was just kidding!" Your probably thinking "well just firgive her and move on". Well one of my other friends Julie(also changed), is on the same bus as the girl, and she told me that the girl had been saying the same crap for the past 3 weeks. I asked my boyfriend if he likes her, and he immediately said no and told me that "I was the only girl for him". That was cleared up but the one girl is still trying to take him from me, basicly actin like a slut, showing clevage in front of him, always touching his hair and back(which really pisses me off). So what do I do to stop her from doing this? Thanks XOXO and thanks for the advice earlier, It made me feel so much better. (link)
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It's clear that you believe and trust your boyfriend when he says he doesn't like this girl.
She sounds very insecure, fishing for another girl's boyfriend when there's no hope of him turning to her. Has she ever had a boyfriend of her own?
There's a saying - when you've changed everything about a situation and it's still a problem, the only thing left to change is the way you look at it.
She's not a rival for your boyfriend, as she doesn't stand a chance there. Could you try being nice to her, maybe even being a good friend, offering advice on clothes (giving you some control over that cleavage!) and make-up? Ask other friends to come to a clothes swapping party, you might all become true friends.
Glad I could help last time, hope this helps too, let me know how it goes? Take care of yourself.
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I'm a 19 year old male of mixed race. My life has been a nightmare starting with my childhood. I was beaten by my religious fanatic father regularly, and was molested by my babysitters 12 year old daughter at the age of 7. Every close friend I made from kindergarten to elementary school moved away. I began setting fires and choking dogs and hamsters from a young age, and have always wanted to kill people. I have been bullied throughout my life for various reasons, and at one point planned on shooting up my high school. I was kicked out of 2 high schools for fighting and subsequently attempted suicide twice. I have been to psychiatric hospitals and have been in counseling for years. I seem to only attract emotionally abusive women, and my friends always betray me. I see no value in human life, and could easily torture anyone to death, even my whole family and feel nothing. I don't have any emotions and I don't think there is nothing I can do to change at this point. What should I do? (link)
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Up until now, your life has been a reaction to your upbringing. Setting fires, abusing animals, fighting and attempting suicide are all signs of extreme anger at what has been done to you.
Whatever anyone else says or does for you, only you can change your life into something worthwhile. You know this somewhere deep down; you've tried relationships, looking for love, friendship, stability and commitment but they fell apart for whatever reason.
Have you explained to your counsellor how you feel? Sounds as if you need to go a bit further and seek medical help with your emotional state, feeling as numb as you describe is not good.
Get help now before the situation escalates into something that cannot be put right. You know you need help, or you wouldn't have asked for advice. Take this advice - find help. Let me know how this turns out and if you do turn your life around. Keep in touch if you need to offload some of that tension you feel and you need a friendly ear. Take care of yourself?
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I'm 13 and I'm going through a really tough time right now. Sometimes i think about cutting myself, but every time i go to cut myself I get scared and stop. I will take a super sharp pencil and dig it into my wrist but the marks don't stay long enough to make me feel better, so my question is, what do I do to either get over my fear of cutting or get rid of the thought altogether? (link)
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Although you're in a toughspot right now, there is something that is keeping you going. It's keeping you safe and protected, willing you to keep going and reach the end of these difficulties, put them behind you and live the life that's waiting for you beyond.
No, I'm not talking about a guardian angel, although one may well be close by. I'm thinking of you sense of self-preservation which is behind the fear you feel of the consequences of cutting yourself. Cutting and other forms of self-harm are addictive and self-destructive. You don't need that. You need love, relaxation and fun which is what life should be all about at 13!
You mention nothing of your environment or background so all I can suggest is look around for support, friends, teachers, counsellors, anyone who will listen and help you sort your life out. If the first person you ask for help, doesn't for some reason, keep trying! Someone, somewhere wants to help you!
Hope this helps, keep in touch if you want to offload some of that tension you feel? Let me know how you get on too. Take care of yourself.
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Hello guys I live in the cleveland ohio area and I love and want to volunteer but there is simply know were to go. All of the nursing homes will not allow me to volunteer or even go and talk to the residance. I want to volunteer at my local hospital but I want to volunteer somewere else 1st because it asks if you volunteered before and it would not look good if you just put NO!!! I love and want to volunteer aas I said before. If there is a store that need a bagger or a shelf stocker I am willing to do anything. One of the big reasons y I cant do this is simply because im only 14. If you cold help me and tel me were I could volunteer at I would appreciate SSSSOOOOOO much. Thanks. :D (link)
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Some schools encourage students to volunteer for cleaning the grounds or helping with younger students. Helping out in a library, an animal shelter or garden nursery might be good until you're old enough to try hospitals or nursing homes. Perhaps you could help older people in your area with their shopping, but your parents would need to sanction that one!
Sorry this answer isn't very comprehensive, unsure of what's available in the US for people of your age to volunteer for!
Best of luck, hope something works out for you, keep in touch if you think I can help?
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Ok so I was selected to play imagine by john lennon on piano for my chorus concert. Im super happy and honored to play this beautiful song. I'm super excited and have been getting alot of support from my family and friends. Though one of them has been super unsupportive of mi playing and said I'm gonna suck. I don't know what to do. I love music and I play piano guitar drums violin and recorder as well. Its my passion and I'm sad that some people are being unsupportive that I can't do it. I don't know what to do. (link)
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Clever saying I heard the other day - when there's nothing else you can do to change an awkward situation, the only thing left to change is the way you look at it.That one person who is saying such stupid, senseless things is SOOO jealous of your courage, opportunity and sheer talent that all they can do is try to bring you down to their level.
Go for your dream, make the most of it and enjoy it. Afterwards, share your passion - ask that person if they would like help in learning to play like you. Perhaps the jealousy stems from their missed opportunities.
Hope this helps, good luck with the chorus concert
and let me know how this turns out? I'm really interested to know that person's motive in being so cruel to you.
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I am going through a very difficult year, and basically just need help finding the old me and dealing with depression.
average girl: honors student, artistic and musical, all into sports, with the sweetest boyfriend and out nonstop with friends. senior in highschool and my cousin dies, i get skin cancer and a blood disorder, my boyfriend gets severe brain cancer, my family falls apart, i take in two kids, get into drugs, push all my friends far away and am kicked off sports for grades/medical, miss so much school and am diagnosed with depression(duh). unbelieveable amount of crap.
im really just in the pit and dont know how to get out. How do i get my positivity back, all that i lost including friends, and just fix becoming this hermit and the other flaws? My interests and life are gone how do i get it back? (link)
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I've never been through such difficult times, thank goodness, but I've had a fair share. My answer would be to take recovery slowly, a little bit at a time.
A phrase I heard once about saving the environment seems appropriate for most occasions: start where you are and do what you can. It'll possibly be one of those slow improvements that you can only measure by looking back over three or four months, even longer perhaps, to see any positive gain.
Perhaps you could keep a diary, logging your feelings and positive/negative aspects. This could remind you how bad things once were, but also any positive things that have happened to improve things.
I really hope this helps somewhat, although it's very poor in ideas. Let me know how you get on? Keep in touch if you think I can help at all, best wishes, C.
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Me and this guy (we're friends) have had a very confusing relation ship. Ive loved him for while and he doesn't like me back. I just don't know what to do anymore. (link)
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I know this might be an answer you don't want to hear, but perhaps you should try to put this guy out of your head for a while. You say you 'love' him but he doesn't even 'like' you? Slight imbalance there.
Could you find a new friend to be with instead of him? Taking this constant pressure of being 'together' off both of you may allow some light into the situation.
Take a step back from him, see other friends, go out for fun and friendship. Give it a month or so, see how you feel, you may be surprised.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
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What is my fate? How much time will I spend in jail? (link)
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What did you do and why?
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My parents raised me to be an utter failure. Besides mentally absuing me, they destroyed my self esteem and my life and never gave me any chores, responsiblities or motivation to succeed. they never gave me any chance to excel, any opportunity to feel tha i had some self worth. they left me angry, helples and hopeless. Now I'm 33, and I have failed at everything I have ever tried, every job I have ever held. I was fired from practically every job I have help for incompetence or simply coming in late. I don't want to do anything and feel no motivation; I would rather end up a ward of the state or in a mental hospital...at least i could get fed and taken care of and not have to struggle just to earn some bread to eat. I hate life and never asked for it. I never wanted any of this, my parents brought me here against my will, fucked me up against my will, now after 30 years of hardwired helplessness I am supposed to thrive? I have no motivation to do anything...to work, to live. I just want to die, and if not, be taken care of, just sit in the grass and stare at the sky until I die, and just have peace the rest of my days. If you call me a spoiled brat, go fuck yourself. Taht's what I am, that's what I am wired to be...a loser. I tried job and failed them. I went to the army and had a nervous breakdown. I went to school for a medical degree and turn out to be a failure...i am too scared to make any decisions for my patients and instead I run and find a competent adult to make the hard choices because, well, I am a baby. I'm still living in my folks house, as I have no income at 33. No one wants to hire a new grad like me. And honestly, I don't want to work, fuck it, my parents thought it was so important to give birth to me and spend my whole childhood fucking me up, let them pay for my food. It's called consequences. I just want the end to come and I want to have nothing left to fail at. (link)
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On reading this, my first thought was it was a wind-up. I have to agree with you though, you're a spoiled brat. At least you've achieved that.
You sound SO sorry for yourself. You live with your parents, they provide everything for you. You don't WANT to work? Neither does anyone I know, but it's a necessity to live.
Find a job and somewhere to live close to the job, move out of your parents house and get a life!! This is the only one you've got and at 33, the end is in sight. You're not a baby relying on mom and dad anymore, not even a teenager who doesn't know what's expected of him. You are an adult who knows better than that.
What are the consequences of you remaining as you are?
A wasted life.
Who will come to your funeral?
Probably only the funeral director, its his job.
How sad? Change it then, only you can!
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Hello there! ill get to the point. i smoked 20+ cigs for the last 7-8 months. when i play basketball, only one run from the ring to the other side i get tired very fast. and now i want to join our schools soccer team, and i know soccer involves alot of running shits. so i want some tips or advice so that i could run longer. thank you so much. (link)
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I think you know the reason why you get breathless when running. Like most smokers, you're in denial about the effects of smoking. "I'll never get cancer from smoking! It'll never happen to me!" Most smokers think these things, it allows them to keep smoking.
Truth is, smoking alters the amount of oxygen your blood can carry around your body. That's why doctors advise pregnant women and those who already have breathing problems to stop smoking. Cigarettes fill your lungs with tar and your brain with nicotine, the former reduces the oxygen taken in, the latter keeps you addicted.
Quit the fags, start a proper training regime to build up your fitness and be healthy. You'll soon notice the difference.
Hope this helps, good luck, let me know how you get on? I'd love to hear how fast and far you can run in just a few months!
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I know no one on here are doctors but I just need a little help before I see one. I think I have anxiety. I'm already freaking out about high school and that's a year away. (I'm in 8th). Besides being just nervous about things I'm also nervous of getting lightheaded. I've seen many doctors about this but they don't know what it is. Ive gotten dizzy before a concert which makes me think it's anxiety. Whenever I'm nervous it happens because I work myself up over things. When something is out of the ordinary it might happen. Also how can I introduce thus idea to my parents without them laughing so I can get proper help. Thank you. (link)
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It sounds to me as if you're in the first stages of panic attacks, worrying about something that might/might not happen for some reason.
Cognitive behaviour therapy, relaxation therapy or hypnosis may help you, giving you a different pattern of behaviour when you start to worry. I think you could access this through your doctor, or maybe the phone directory people.
Panic attacks can be awful, in worst-case- scenarios they can make you think you're about to die. I've never heard of someone dying from a panic attack. They are very common, most people will admit to having them occasionally. The main problem is when they become a habit, happening regularly over small things. They can then take over the sufferers life, so they won't face the things that worry them, open spaces, enclosed spaces, spiders, being sick, germs, the list is endless. It is important that you treat this behaviour as soon as possible to avoid it escalating.
As to your parents, I'd tell them when you feel the time is right, but before you make any appointments. If you explain it as you have here, I doubt they'll laugh. You may find they're aware of your problem and have been waiting for you to mention it. In any case, you'll need their support with any treatment you have.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? It's probably nosey of me, but I like to think I've helped. Good luck!
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Hey Im 16 and a senior in highschool. I met this guy in an interschool competition. He's the same age but is a senior in some other school. We started talking after the competition and became good friends. We have gone out on three dates till now. And yeah, we have kissed each other and made out a little. We cannot resist each other at all. And hence the makeouts were a mutual desicion. I am falling for him. But the problem is that even though he says he is falling for me, he keeps on telling me he cannot date me cause he's a bad guy and he cares for me too too much to hurt me. He says he is not one of those dateable guys who will love their girl completely and he might find a new girl and dump me.That would hurt me and he doesnt want to do that! He hasnt had a past record of cheating or anything it's just that he tells me he wants to be sure before he asks a girl out that he will be completely loyal to her and not flirt around with other girls. He also liked this girl a year back and he says he feels guilty that he got over her and fell for me! But when we meet we actually act like we are dating, cause he gets me stuff, he tells me he loves me, we hold hands. we actually act like a couple in love. we also talk all the time. I dont know what to do. Because I really want to be with him. But cant figure out how to make him ask me out? and if he is really a bad guy? HELP.
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This is tricky, mainly because its the start of a possible relationship and its hard to assess how anything will turn out. Bit like guaranteeing that the weather will be perfect on May 12, 2012! Your guy sounds good but young enough to know how motivating lust can be, and old enough to realise that a viable long-lasting relationship needs commitment and trust.
Like most things worthwhile, I think if you want to have a relationship with him, its going to take time. Time for you to get to know each other and your families too; if there are problems on either side, families will often sense it early on in the relationship.
Relax and enjoy the flowers a bit before you get too serious, learn about each other and take time before you commit yourselves to this; if it does happen, it'll mean so much more to both of you.
Hope this helps, good luck + best wishes to you both, let me know what happens? I like to know how things turn out
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I am a simple 20 year old. I look like im in my late 20's and i have to ask, what are characteristics that women want in a man. I'm not talking about that confusing bullshit like charming, confident, gentle, strong, and all that crap. Everyone is different. I've traveled to 25 different countries and ive been alone since i was little. I've been to hell and back, and i just would like to find someone who isnt a heartless gold digger bitch, (pardon my french i mean no disrespect to anyone.) I'm culturally sound, I am wise and profound at times, I'm funny, im kind, and given we all have baggage so we all have problems no one is perfect. Why cant i find someone?
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You sound pretty normal to me. The easy answer is that the perfect lady for you maybe waiting around the next corner, all it takes is for you to find her. The hard answer is that not everyone finds their soulmate, its all a matter of chance.
You can't easily change yourself to suit whatever girl you meet so the real answer might be to be true to yourself and wait. Your chances of finding a girl will increase with those characteristics you mention (wise, profound, kind etc.) but I think one of the most important is humour - that goes a long way.
Good luck, hope this helps and let me know how this works out? (I say this after every answer but honestly, I'm really interested if people's lives work out for them.)
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ok i wont to give a gift to some one and i dont know what any ideas ? (link)
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When I'm trying to think of a gift for someone, I try to look at their whole life and personality for clues. Do they have any passions that interest them deeply? Is there something I can buy that will sustain that passion? Maybe it'll be a voucher, so they can buy something I wouldn't have known/thought of. I try to dress vouchers up a bit, a bunch of flowers, chocolates or a fancy home-made card maybe as well.
If there are no obvious passions, I ask their friends and family for clues to their interests, but try not to step on anyone's toes by duplicating gifts.
If all else fails, I opt for the 'experience' gift, a nice meal, evening in the theatre or cinema, shopping trip, bowling.
Hope this helps, please let me know?
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I am sick and tired of living. My family hates me. They treat me like crap. I'm never appreciated and I want it to be over. I cannot continue to live this way. I'm either going to kill myself or run away and hope someone will kill me. I need help before I do something stupid. (link)
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You don't say how old you are so it's difficult to say if this is a 'growing up and adjustment' stage of your life or a more settled habitual state of affairs, making it difficult to advise you properly.
You know that killing yourself is stupid and worse, such a waste of life. No-one is born intending to die without achieving anything; life is a gift that we should all strive to use to the utmost without hurting others or ourselves.
The most telling phrase in your question for me is 'I cannot continue to live this way.'
So change things. It can be hard to change big things like where we live or work, what we do all and every day. Rather than move house permanently, is there a family member you could go and stay with until the situation changes? An extended holiday might help.
School and college change yearly as you progress, but the people you're with in class tend to stay more or less the same; could you change your social life in some way, join a club that has similar interests to you, crafts, music, gardening, charity work, books, travel. Look around you, are there people who need help? Helping out at soup kitchens or homeless shelters would give you plenty of appreciation.
Most of all, the hardest thing of all, try to change your attitude. Try to look at life from someone else's viewpoint, although you say you're sick and tired of living, your life may be one that someone else would crave. If not, change it!
Sounds so easy, but only you can do it.
Hope this helps, please let me know how you get on? I'll only worry otherwise!
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Are any of these people mildly interesting to someone who isn't a science geek? We have to pick one for a project and I have no clue who any of these people are
Ruth Benerito
Joan Berkowitz
Hazel Bishop
Emma Perry Carr
Pamela Clark
Marie Curie
Rosalind Franklin
Gertrude Belle Elion
Alice Hamilton
Darleane Hoffman
Shannon Lucid
Gerty Theresa Cori
Stephanie Kwolek
Janet Marcet
Marie Meurdrac
Rosalyn Yalow
Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin
Diane D. Gates-Anderson
John Dalton
Humphrey Davy
Irene Curie-Joloit
Henri Becquerel
Robert Boyle
S. Cannizzaro
Jacque Charles
Neils Bohr
J.J. Thompson
Henry Moseley J. Berzelius
W. Roentgen
J. Robert Oppenheimer
L. Meitner
G. N. Lewis
F. Aston
Joseph Priestly
Michael Faraday
J. Proust
E. Rutherford
A. Avogadro
Paracelsus
Robert Bunsen
Fritz Haber
D. Mendeleev
Fritz Wohler
E. Torricelli
Linus Pauling
Leslie Groves
Arrhenius
LeChatelier
F. Werner
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This is some list! Most of them I'm ashamed to say I don't know but some of them seem to give 'clues' as to who they are or why they are known. Could Robert Bunsen be connected to the bunsen burners we used in chemistry labs when I was in school? Didn't Marie Curie, Irene Curie-Joliot and W. Roentgen have something to do with X-rays? Here in Wales, many years ago our miners used to carry a Davy lamp when underground; could that be something to do with Humphrey Davy?
Don't be put off by the length of the list, look in an encyclopaedia or on Wikipedia for inspiration and find someone interesting to write/talk about.
Hope this helps, let me know who you decide to focus on?
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im havin a hard time in my life and the only way i see out is to kill myself no one listins to me im unhappy the people around me make me happy but thats just not enof i need to talk i heard if u talk about ur feelins they go away but no one listins to me i cut myself because it takes away the pain but only for a little while in 16 and nothing to show for my life so far if you where to ask anyone who know me to name one thing in good at they wouldnt replay because they know and so do i im a failure i know it every one knows it (link)
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You say you have nothing to show for your life so far but 16 years is nothing, most of it was taken up by school and childhood. You say you are 16, an age when most people have altered feelings and emotions. Hormones are raging and those around you, in school or whatever, may be in a similar state, adding to the strain.
Give yourself chance - I'm 50 plus and would be hard pushed to say I'm good at anything or done anything particularly notable with my life. Nevertheless, I've had a good life, married with children, worked hard in a good job, have a college degree, enjoy many interests with many friends. Is this a life wasted?
Look around you, what does the lives of those around you say about them? What do you want your life to say about you?
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. Will it be the same as yesterday? Only you can change it.
Good luck, let me know what you decide? I'd love to know.
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Hi, I am 17 years old, and I have come to the point where I don't want to live anymore. Every time I find someone I like and end up with him, the only thing he wants is sex. So then I have to let him go b/c I realize the sweet things he had said to me were only to get to me to have sex with him. My heart hurts so much every time this happens, b/c I always thought they were being true to me. My other issue is that there's this girl in school that is always jealous of me b/c I'm friends with her best friend. My family treats me like I'm some stranger in the house. My mom and dad yell at me everyday for no reason. I feel like my life is worthless, no one cares about me. Now I feel like there is no one in this world I can trust anymore. I'm an object for guys, a stranger to my family, and my friends are being pulled away from me by their other friends. There's nothing I can do. I don't want to live anymore, I just hate everything and everyone! (link)
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I think you're a normal teenager going through your unique version of growing up.
It is hard to find out that guys of your age think sex should be available from anyone they fancy without commitment or even a relationship; friends argue and fight over who they like or dislike; families think you're just a stroppy kid who should be old enough to know better, but they don't look behind the mask to see the pain underneath.
Soon, you'll find guys who like to take things slower, learn about you and build a relationship; friends will start to become long-term friends; family may also become friends that you enjoy spending time with.
I think all you need is time. Time to decide what you want from life and the best way to get it. Look around you, is there someone you can talk to who may understand your feelings, a teacher, counsellor, family member? Tell them how you've been feeling and ask for advice.
Try to stand outside yourself and look at your behaviour as well as that of the other people involved in this, understand that part of growing up is feeling out of step with everyone else because you are becoming your own person.
Let me know how this goes? Hope this helps, X.
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Hello,
I'm supposed to do a research paper for my Death and Dying class (I'm in college). I'm allowed to choose whatever I want, as long as it's about death and it's something remotely interesting that I can present to my class.
I know that I'm really interested in death in the arts (music, poetry, film, photography, etc) but I'm not sure what kinds of questions I could pose about all of these things to write a research paper?
I'm also sort of interested in the dynamics of suicide, as well as the mindset of people who are terminally ill (whether it is possible or not for them to reach some point of "acceptance" or "peace")
I'm open to lots of different ideas because honestly, I feel kind of lost and I really want to write a good paper that I'm really interested in..
Thank you! (link)
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An interesting question indeed, not least because we (the living) will never know the truth of it all until it's our turn.
As a nurse of 30+ years, I can honestly say I've never seen anyone die as they do in films, where they say things like "Tell your brother the money's in the ...... ahhh!" I've never seen anyone die through violence either, which might explain why. The dying people I've been with have died through illness or sheer old age and frailty; they seem to approach death quietly, gradually shutting down life systems and physical boundaries until they enter a coma and pass away. Each of these phases can last minutes, hours, days or months I think.
Perhaps your question could look at the difference between actual death and the way its portrayed in the arts and why we feel such a strong need to sanitise it rather than showing the truth.
Another useful angle might be the way different faiths treat death; some bury within 24 hours, others pray over the body for several days. In the UK, a funeral is usually arranged within four days but maybe different in other countries.
Hope this helps, let me know what you decide to do? I'm curious!
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Is it considered cheating if you cheat on your boyfriend with a girl? (link)
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I don't know if this question refers to you and your boyfriend or someone else, but I'll answer as if you're the one who's cheating.
I would say yes, because it's not the sex of the person that matters. It's the betrayal of trust between you and your boyfriend that makes it cheating. Sorry if the truth hurts, but I think you should own up to your actions and take responsibility; we all make mistakes, it's how we learn what's right.
Once the mistake is accepted, you can move on, whether with or without your boyfriend is up to him.
Hope this helps, good luck, let me know what happens?
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