Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10378
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I am 14(female). I have really close relationships with both my parents. Well my dad is up in Montana(long story, not b/c of devorice) and its just me and my mom. I lie to my mom a lot but then I feel terrible after, but I can't woman up and confess(if she doesn't find out).And also I yell at her and sometimes trie to push her away(not hard enough to hurt her but it makes her mad). So how can I stop these bad actions and habits? (link)
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T his is probably a replay of some of your previous answers, but as a teenager you're fulfilling expectations!
Take time to explain to your Mom that you have mixed feelings about everything and maybe a bit more irritable/frustrated/annoying (insert whatever you like here!) than you'd like to be, you don't really mean to push her away, but feel overwhelmed by everything etc. etc.
I'm sure she'll understand and possibly she'll have some stories of her own time as a teenager to tell you. Most of us do!
Hope this helps, let me know how you gt on?
Good luck x.
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My best friend and I really like each other, but her family completely dominates her life. She is with them all the time, and was home schooled, and has absolutely no friends other than me. When she goes to the movies, shes with her family. When she goes to dinner, shes with her family.
Im a really good boyfriend, and I know that if she just gave it a chance we could really be happy together, but she just refuses to step outside of her shell. She is 19 and has never had a boyfriend, and her sister is 27 and has never had a boyfriend or a job because their parents dont care and just want to be close to them.
Even worse, they have put in her mind that the purpose of dating is to find someone to marry, so you should never date a guy who you dont think you want to marry (which is completely backwards logic). And she says sh doesnt think she wants to marry me, so she doesnt want to go out.
Its really sad. Im her only friend in the world and she never spends time with me. We went a whole year once without ever hanging out because shes afraid to even go outside. Is there anything I can do to pull her out of this? Or is she just too brain washed at this point for anyone to be able to help? (link)
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Only those people immediately involved in the family of your girlfriend know the ehole story of what goes on there, so it's very difficult for outsiders to judge.
To me, they sound as if they're a very caring family who haven't stayed in touch with the world and so-called expected behaviour of teenagers. Could there be a religious component somewhere that is influencing her parents regarding boyfriends? It's not unreasonable to have a few boyfriends before deciding on 'the right one' but they seem to be of another time altogether.
Could you suggest going somewhere with them as a family, a picnic in the park might fit with their picture of family life. A number of such occasions might convince them that you are a suitable young man to escort their daughter around town.
In time this relationship might founder on the rocks of old-time respectability because you or they can't meet each other's needs. It's up to your girlfriend to decide if she wants the world of her parents or yours.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? It'll possibly be a long journey getting your girl for keeps if that's what you want.
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I am 17/F
I am a senior in high school
I am 5'8
I weigh 110 lbs.
yes, I am underweight
so i am tall, and skinny
and i have small boobs. and i hate it.
i wish they were bigger. I've asked a simmilar question and was told to be happy with my body and blah blah blah not to worry what other people think, but this isnt about other people this is more for myself. i cant afford a boob job, nor would i probably ever do that, but im not sure. do you think maybe they're still growing? i only wear an A and when i push on them (usually anytime) its kind of sore. and sometimes feels like a little harder. not like squishy normal boobs that you can just grab. (the only way i can explain it) so what should i do? (link)
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You say your previous question concentrated on not worrying about what other people think about you and you're right, you have the problem and you must deal with it.
You have SO much going for you, young, good height, light build with breasts to match. Anything much bigger would possibly be out of proportion and could look extreme. I think, at 17, you could well grow a bit more, even into your early 20s. Some people are just meant to be of light build - my friend's daughter is 26 and still wears 13-year-old children's clothes.
Wearing a bra with a 'good' cup size is a rite of passage that we all expect to go thrpugh with flying colours, but when you think about it, what are the advantages of wearing a bra? They certainly aren't natural parts of our bodies, they're man-made prisons according to some feminists, to keep women a certain 'desired' shape. You and millions of others are different. You can wear T-shirts without that constricting elastic around your chest. Being slim, (nicer than skinny) the bra won't dig into the rolls of fat flesh on your back either. (Yes, I'm speaking from experience!)
Overall, I'd say make the most of wehat you've got. OK, so you've got small breasts, but I bet you've got lovely eyes or a beautiful smile, a knock-out sense of humour or you're very quick-witted.
Somebody once said, if there's a situation that, after changing everything possible, it still doesn't improve, the only thing you can change is the way you look at it.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? Good luck x.
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Hi There I'm 18 and have a really fucked up life at the moment i just want to find a quick and easy way out :( i want to die like right now and i want to know a quick and not so painful way! (link)
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There are no quick, easy, painless ways of killing yourself, it all takes time, planning and can be exceedingly painful. In 30 years of nursing, I've never seen a painless, easy, quick death.
At 18, you're still young enough to be in that teenage hormonal storm area, where everyone seems to be against you, no-one cares what happens to you so why should you?
Look at your future. Do you see a lifetime of work stretching into the distance? Would you prefer work that you dislike or even hate or something that you feel passionate about?
Now is your chance to do something about it.
In the current recession, finding paid work can be impossible, but there is always something needing to be done. Think about chariity work, helping your family and/or neighbours with cleaning, gardening, shopping, decorating etc. It doesn't sound much and I know it won't put money in your pocket, but it will get you active and doing something positive for others; it would also give you time to think about what you really want to do with your life.
Hope this helps, let me know if you think I can help further. Keep in touch, good luck.
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Why do dogs hike their legs when they pee?? (link)
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I think it's only male dogs who do this, females usually squat down. The guys seem to be able to pee every few yards sometimes, so I think it's more of a 'marking territory' thing rather than actually needing a pee. Their pee passes information onto other dogs, who passed this way and stuff like that.
Hope this helps.
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My aunt just died on December 11. She had a year long battle with stage 4 lung cancer. She was like a motherly figure to me and I was very close to her and my uncle. A few months after she was diagnosed the chemo was starting affect her and she had terrible headaches. She had a shunt placed in herhead to drain the spinal fluid that was causing the headaches. After that she started looking very different and frail. I had no idea what to say to her or how to talk to her. I stillloved her but I was very aquard arround her. My parents would always tell me to go sit with her in bed and talk, but like I said, I had no idea what to say. I could talk to her when other people werevin the room but not by myself. Well one day my mom told me that my aunt noticed how I was becoming distant and it made her feel bad. At the time I brusshed it away thinking "When she gets better I will talk to her and be more caring" Now that she passed away I feel so guilty and like I should burn in hell for what I did. I have also considered suicide a couple times. I have lots of friends and a wonderful boyfriend but I feel like I must put on a brave face for them so I act happy and carefree. So my questions are,
※How can I greive propperly?
※What should I say to my friends?
Thanks :'( (link)
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This is a difficult question because there is no straight-forward answer. Just as we humans are different in our opinions and emotions, so do we grieve in various ways. SOme people clam up and deny the event completely, others will talk about it non-stop and think about nothing else.
You are not alone in finding it hard to talk to your aunt when she was ill. Most people find it hard to talk to someone with a terminal illness because they feel they can't mention that; tbut it might be the very thing they want to talk about but feel awkward because they know it upsets other people!
I've dealt with many deaths in working 30 years as a nurse and tried to help many grieving people. They all reacted in different ways that suited them at that time. If they'd known their relative was about to die, possibly they would've reacted differently, said something else, behaved in another way, been better prepared. Just as life throws us curve-balls, so does death.
However you reacted to your aunt's death was your way of dealing with it at that time; your next experience of death will be different because you have learned something from this one.
Give yourse;lf time and space to grieve, explain to your friends that your aunt has died and you feel sad, your emotions may be a bit mixed-up for a while, but that you want to keep them as friends, even though it might take you some time to recover completely.
No doubt you'll have good and bad days; some people may question why you're happy sometimes, but you'll never forget your aunt whatever kind of day it is.
Hope this helps, let me know if I can help again?
Be good to yourself with some pampering, relax as much as you can and enjoy life.
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Name:lauren
Age:12
Where:Australia
I put on a tampon just to try it on then I took it off.by the way I have got my pirods but I wasn't due then.then I have been felling dizzy and week for the past 4 days.then I typed up on the computer(can tampond kill you)they said yes you should not use them
Then I got sceard.could I die? (link)
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Millions of women of all ages use tampons every day. I don't know the statistics for deaths caused by them butif it was a significant risk, I'm sure there would have been reports about it.
Like most things, tampons are safe if used safely, following the directions on the advice leaflet enclosed in each box.
The only risk I know of is from toxic shock syndrome; it happens if some bugs get in to the vagina and, if the tampon is left inside for too long, grow and bevome a source of infection within the body. I'm not sure about the actual length of time.but again, it's probably mentioned on that leaflet.
Follow the advice on the leaflet and you'll be fine. You could ask your family and friends if htey have any problems using tampons. Maybe they could give you some 'on-the-spot'advice?
Let me know how you get on? Good luck.
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i had an abortion about 8 months ago an i wish i hadn't. i cry all the time because i want my baby but its too late. i have been thinking about killing myself so i can be with my baby but i dont know if i should. i just feel like a monster for doing it but im only 17 and my mom kinda forced me to get the abortion. i just want my baby back i cant keep feeling depressed all the time. (link)
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I came across your question while scrolling through past pages of advicenators and was drawn to try and respond tp you. I also had an abortion 28 years ago for medical reasons, the baby was badly deformed and would probably have died anyway.
Anyine who thinks abortion is an easy way out of pregnancy has never had to deal with the emotional roller-coaster that happens afterwards.
Even after all these years with a son of 26, I can still feel the pain of the loss like a raw burning inside. I know my husband feels the same way.At the time, I felt SO guilty, for a week before the abortion itself I knew what was coming. Could the baby sense my intentions?
This is no answer to your torment I know, but it does show that there is life after an abortion.
Would your baby want you to die? I don't think so, it would be such a waste of your life. Instead, live your life as well as you possibly can. An abortion should never be the death of two people.
Hope this helps, please let me know how you get on? Take care of yourself with some pampering and love.
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Okay so i've been through a few bad relationships,
my most importand 3 relationships:
1. Dated 3 yrs ended with minipulation,. Controlling,. Made me believe what he said was right and in the end borrowed alot of money from me (in the ten thousands) and never paid me back plus racked up a credit card.
2. was seeing him not dating for 2 weeks and he said wasn't ready for a relationship and half a week later was dating someone a few towns away.
3. dated for a couple months got me pregnent,. left me to a different city.
Anyway my question is this!
I don't understand why i dont have feelings for anyone at all! Is my love emotions gone?
There are a few great guys who like me..
But i just don't feel any love connection to anyone..
Its been 2 years and I have only had a crush on one person..
Will i ever get my love crush feelings back for anyone or am i broken? PLEASE HELP ME! How do i open up to be able to love again (link)
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I'm sorry you've had such a long history of bad relationships and break-ups, but from what you say, the fault lies with the guys, not you!
You're now programmed to expect problems in a relationship, you've lost the ability to trust people, especially guys. No surorise there!
Stop looking at guys as objects of love and accept them as friends, get used to trusting them and gradually move on to thinking of them as more than friends. (Maybe this is how we learn to love people as we grow up.)
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? Good luck.
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Hello!
Currently Im a student at the University of South Florida. I've got good grades,I work hard to be involved in many clubs and organizations and work at a radio station. I'm only a freshman, but i felt the need to try and get started on an internship. I applied, and found out that there were over 100 people being interviewed.I tried my best during the interview , just to see if I would get hired. She hired me, along with maybe 15 others.I found out that the internship is mostly online and you basically fill out paperwork and post things to her website (online magazine). Recently, I have been on vacation and haven't been able to glue my face to a computer.On top of that, my best friend is in the hospital due to someone attempting murder on her.I obviously did not get started on my internship. I texted her and told her what is happening with my friend and she basically told me I could have more time. I looked at the amount of emails I received and am overwhelmed by the information and do not want to take on this internship because I am so behind. I've only met the boss through the phone (since its a virtual internship) but I don't want her to regret hiring me or ever think of me as a person to just "walk out" of on opportunity. How do I tell her this? (link)
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I'd explain to her what has happened and how bad you feel about being unable to cope with this large amount of emails that are filling your inbox. Rather than backing out straight away, you could suggest starting over again from scratch, most of those emails will probably be out-of-date now anyway.This would indicate that you're willing to carry on but also acknowledging the problem. Hope this helps, good luck. Let me know how you get on?
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Hi there so I am 18/F
So I have a lot of guy friends and a few girl friends, most of which are short, except my best friend who is 6", I however am 5"9 and I feel soooo tall, I look at my girl friends who are 5"5 or 5"6 and they get a lot of guys, I get guys and everything, but for some reason I look at my girl friends and I feel freakishly tall and weird, I am skinny, I eat a lot but I don't gain weight, I weigh about 130, I just don't understand why I feel so ugly around my friends, is there anything wrong with being this tall, I feel so insecure when I go out with them. Why is it that tall girls aren't as pretty as short girls? (link)
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I'm short and I'd love to add several inches to my height! As humans we're never satisfied.
I don't think height comes into attraction at all. I think the main components of attraction are interest in the person you're talking to,eye contact, a smile and a sense of humour.It's definitely more attractive to see a snile than a frown, whatever your height.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? Good luck.
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Well idk what to I basically have tried to watch my sister get dressed that didn't work i think I might try just looking in the shower when she us naked but is that legal to do that (link)
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Curiosity about the opposite sex is natural as children grow up. You don't say how old your sister is, I'd imagine she's older than you although girls tend to develop quicker than boys so perhaps you're around the same age.
Rather than spying on your sister, I'd encourage you to find a book about the human body and how children grow and develop into adults. This should remove some of the mystery of the process while maintaining your sister's dignity and privacy, which you seem to have forgptten about completely.
You mention in the question that you want to have sex with your sister but seem interested only in watching her getting dressed or in the shower.
At 12 years old, hormones are raging around your body, controlling your moods. The opposite sex is obviously very attractive to you. Sex with blood-related family members is forbidden in most societies and in your case, is an abuse of trust between you and your sister. After reading the book on development suggested above, try to find someone you can talk to about this need you have to spy on your sister before it becomes a problem, an older brother, teacher, friend, doctor,someone who will understand nd guide you.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? I'd really like to know, good luck.
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I'm sixteen. It's junior year, and it's time to get cracking on looking for colleges and everything.
I'm so upset because I feel like I will never ever be happy, or good enough for myself. I try so hard. I am lazy and unmotivated, and lately I've been getting yelled at by my parents. "You're sixteen, you should know how to do this!" It really upsets me because I feel so let down and stupid. I'm sixteen and I don't know how to do certain things. My parents have never taught me to be independent, and not that I'm putting the blame on them, but when I was a kid, they babied me, and now that I'm grown, I know nothing. They barely talk to me about this stuff, and I'm so scared of amounting to nothing when I go out into the real world.
I make decent grades, but they're not good enough for my parents. I try my best, but I constantly feel like shit all the time. Any advice? (link)
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This sounds like a breakdown in communication. Could you try to talk to your parents, explain how you feel about being so dependent on them and ask them to show you how to do the things you want to be able to do yourself. Start with basics and once you've conquered them and built up some confidence, move onto more advanced stuff. This way, you won't be trying to run before you can walk.
Laziness is a factor as is being trained to be dependent, so both you and your parents have contributed to this situation. Try to develop habits such as always doing certain things on a Monday, or after every use. This makes it a routine, after a while it stops being boring and becomes something you do before you can enjoy yourself. Allow yourself rewards, something to look forward to when you've finished doing whatever it is.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Good luck.
Hope
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My brother hits me and all kinds of stuff I still feel it but I'm feeling numb in my heart my mom does nothing about it and my brother always denies it. With feeling numb is that I don't feel a lot anymore and I have thought about suicide since I was 9 ans I still think about it even thoufh I'm 12 now. Me and my brother got into it last night and he really hurt me even though I put him on his butt but he still hits, kicks, punches,bites, and smacks me I need help. Any advice? (link)
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I was in your situation when i was 6 or 7 years old. My brother used to take his anger out on me; luckikly my mother noticed and stopped it.
Your mother seems to be euther unable or unwilling to do anything, so I'd suggest you look for a 'substitute' to take her place. You don't say how old your brother is but I'd guess he's older than you and possibly big enough to intimidate your mother.
I'd suggest talking to your teacher, a family member outside your immediate family, a doctor or a family friend, anyone who will listen, get the information out there as soon as possible.
The numbness you are feeling is the body's reaction to abuse - shutdown to avoid any further pain. Feeling will return when you feel loved again and able to trust people. Once you have someone to talk to, at least you can offload your stress, which might help to ease the numbness.
Whoever you talk to, ask them if they can help you find a way out of this situation, whether it's counselling, family therapy or other therapy.
I really hope this helps, let me know how you get on and keep in touch if you think I can help further? Good luck and stay strong.
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I need to write a mystery story for my home work and I need ideas! (link)
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Think of a mystery; why do that couple next door always buy more food in a week than they could possibly eat? Could there be someone else living there that no-one knowabout?
Why does the postman deliver letters to an empty house? Who feeds that stray cat and why? Where does that gang of children go every day? They're hardly ever seen in school.
Hope these spark something off, let me know if this helps and how it goes? Good luck!
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Is it ok to hide things in vagina? I feel stupid asking this but I have something I want to put up there but i am afraid it will go up into my body where i can't reach it anymore so is it possible to hide things in (up) your vagina or not? No it is not drugs!
THANK YOU!!! (link)
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Technically, it is possible to hide things in the vagina, although I suppose it depends on it's size which I would think varies from person to person.After all, it is basically just a tube of flesh that opens up to allow things to enter/exit by it.
The question I have to ask is why think about the vagina as a hiding place? There are alternatives after all!
Although it's a fleshy tube, it does lead into your body, anything inserted into it will have effects on it and possibly the rest of your body too. It depends on the thing you want to insert; even the things that normally pass through it can have side-effects such as STDs, pregnancy, peritonitis and other infections, these could take a long time to clear up and may leave their own effects of sterility or damage to internal organs.
I think I'd accept your vagina for what it is, a part of you that deserves respect, allow only the usual things in there, like tampons, male genitalia or suitable substitutes and possibly babies. Many The vagina has often been used as a hiding place through history; those who have to maintain security know about it's possibilities and regard a thorough search as routine.
Please be careful if you do go ahead with your plan, it's loaded with problems, all of which you can do without. Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
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im a 52 yr old with bipolar disease who has lost his job with no savings.My mother in law is trying to breakup my marriage of 27 yrs.The hounds are at my door.The electric company is coming tomorrow to cut my power off.the mortgage company wants us out.Ive applied to every business I can think of and cant even get a job flipping burgers,We will be spending Christmas on the streets so I think the best thing is for me to kill myself so my mother in law will help my wife.If im out of the picture then she will help her.I have my gun loaded and plenty of prescription meds.I just want to know the fasted and least messy way to go.Please give me some clues to make this fast and quick.Pray for my family too is all I ask. (link)
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I feel for you in your situation, honestly. There are so many like you and your family who are truggling to cope with scraping the barest of lives, often through no fault of their own.
The fact that you took the time to write your plea for help twice tells me that you really on't want to commit suicide. As a nurse for thdrty something years, I've never seen a 'pleasant' death,there is always pain for both family and the dying person. There is also no guaranteed way of achieving a quick, clean death.
Try and speak to your wife to find out her feelings on this situation,she's in it too after all and is at least partly responsible for it.
Try to sort out the debt/eviction problem first. Look for a debt advice centre that can negotiate between you and your creditors to try and gain you a reprieve on being evicted.
I don't know the situation where you live but many towns have a 'soup kitchen'place that may also offer advice on finding a safe bed for the night for you and your wife if necessary.
By asking people to pray for your family, you obviously believe in God and probably also know that He helps those who help themselves. With help, you are able to sort this out, many others are in the same position.
This isn't much of an answer as only you know the full details of your problem but I hope this proves that people do care. Good luck and keep in touch via advicenators if you think I can help.
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I need Help please im failing i dont want to :( (link)
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I'd love to help you with your homework but there are too many problems in the way, not the least being it's supposed to be your work, not someone else's! All I can offer is aadvice which is hopefully good and useful to you.
You could ask for help from classmates, teachers/tutors, family and friends or a private tutor if affordable.It might surprise how many of your classmates feeel the same way about homework in general, or this particular piece of work. Getting together to discuss it can often help, bringing up new ideas and ways of dealing with it.
I don'tknow the subject you are having problems with but you're so lucky; you have a wealth of information at your fingertips, not only the internet with its videos and such things as online encyclopaedia, but books, newspapers, articles, jjournals, the list is endless.
I hope all this helps, let me know how you get on? Good luck, you can do it!
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13/f
Okay so I was taking my puppy out to go to the bathroom and we have two doors at the one entrance and I only close one because I was coming back in. Well my dad got mad because I only closed one so he literally locked me out of my house. I rung the doorbell and banged in the door for 3 minutes before my mom finally came and unlocked it because she couldn't read through the noise and then she yelled at me for making the noise. Then my dad yelled at me for only closing one door because it was letting the heat out. But the thing is he NEVER turns on the heat. I'm in two sweatshirts, two pairs if socks, and a blanket and I'm still cold. But why would he lock me out of the house? I think that's immature and even dangerous. What if someone pocked me up and kidnapped me. What if someone raped me ir murdered me. Most likely both. Granted I don't know who would come up to someone with a Siberian husky that looks like a wolf but ut was dark out. But he did that to show me I should close the door? That's not dramatic. (link)
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I think this comes down to a breakdown in communication from both sides.
We are all living through recession times and are conscious of money and the cost of living. Only your Mum and Dad know their financial situation, but possibly heating is an area that they have had to cut down on to save money. So leaving a door open for an unknown length of time could be seen as quite a crime. Anger might well have driven your Dad to the extreme of behaviour when he locked that door; he wasn't thinking of any possible consequences to you, he was reacting to that loss of heat, (however cold it seems to you inside the house, it's still probably colder outside).
For you, a 13 year-old, it's all in the drama of 'what if?' which covers many possibilities, most of which are unlikely. You'd have been very unlikely to have been kidnapped, raped or murdered in that situation but nevertheless, you feel outraged at being locked out.
This is where communication would probably have helped a great deal. If your parents had convinced you of the importance of saving heat (and therefore money) within the home, you possibly would've done this differently.
If you had told your parents you were taking the dog out for a few minutes, their worries would have been lessened; they would have known you were out there and any possible kidnapping, raping or murdering that might have taken place would have been discovered a lot earlier.
Short answer is arguments like this happen in every family that has growing children in it. Hopefully, by now it's all blown over and forgotten. I do hope so. Keep in touch if you think I can help? Best wishes, Carriebeca.
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What does it mean if you have a dream that one of your family members die?
I had a dream that somebody killed my brother and my mom was crying. Does that mean anything? (link)
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I think dreams are more what's going around in your brain while you're asleep than prophecies for the future.
I work as a nurse, most of the dreams I remember are about witchy matrons, vicious patients and situations in which I can't do anything to help. Likewise your dream sounds like a 'what if?' thought was sailing around in your brain the night of this dream.
When we're asleep, our inhibitions are set free, so we can dream of flying free or jumping off tall buildings without the inevitable real-life consequences. In waking hours, the idea of wondering what happen if your brother died would horrify you in case it 'tempted fate' or witched it to happen in some way. Lots of people worry about this but there's no proof either way, as far as I know.
Your dreams are just flights of fancy so don't stress about them, there's little proof that they're connected to real life situations.
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