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How do I get this girl to come out of her shell?
My best friend and I really like each other, but her family completely dominates her life. She is with them all the time, and was home schooled, and has absolutely no friends other than me. When she goes to the movies, shes with her family. When she goes to dinner, shes with her family.
Im a really good boyfriend, and I know that if she just gave it a chance we could really be happy together, but she just refuses to step outside of her shell. She is 19 and has never had a boyfriend, and her sister is 27 and has never had a boyfriend or a job because their parents dont care and just want to be close to them.
Even worse, they have put in her mind that the purpose of dating is to find someone to marry, so you should never date a guy who you dont think you want to marry (which is completely backwards logic). And she says sh doesnt think she wants to marry me, so she doesnt want to go out.
Its really sad. Im her only friend in the world and she never spends time with me. We went a whole year once without ever hanging out because shes afraid to even go outside. Is there anything I can do to pull her out of this? Or is she just too brain washed at this point for anyone to be able to help?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Only those people immediately involved in the family of your girlfriend know the ehole story of what goes on there, so it's very difficult for outsiders to judge.
To me, they sound as if they're a very caring family who haven't stayed in touch with the world and so-called expected behaviour of teenagers. Could there be a religious component somewhere that is influencing her parents regarding boyfriends? It's not unreasonable to have a few boyfriends before deciding on 'the right one' but they seem to be of another time altogether.
Could you suggest going somewhere with them as a family, a picnic in the park might fit with their picture of family life. A number of such occasions might convince them that you are a suitable young man to escort their daughter around town.
In time this relationship might founder on the rocks of old-time respectability because you or they can't meet each other's needs. It's up to your girlfriend to decide if she wants the world of her parents or yours.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? It'll possibly be a long journey getting your girl for keeps if that's what you want.
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