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I feel like I will amount to nothing.
I'm sixteen. It's junior year, and it's time to get cracking on looking for colleges and everything.
I'm so upset because I feel like I will never ever be happy, or good enough for myself. I try so hard. I am lazy and unmotivated, and lately I've been getting yelled at by my parents. "You're sixteen, you should know how to do this!" It really upsets me because I feel so let down and stupid. I'm sixteen and I don't know how to do certain things. My parents have never taught me to be independent, and not that I'm putting the blame on them, but when I was a kid, they babied me, and now that I'm grown, I know nothing. They barely talk to me about this stuff, and I'm so scared of amounting to nothing when I go out into the real world.
I make decent grades, but they're not good enough for my parents. I try my best, but I constantly feel like shit all the time. Any advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I like to call this the bird's nest syndrome.
I went through and I'm still going through it at this point. It's almost as if you have been in this nest for your whole life and you haven't gone anywhere but staye din the nest. Now your parents want you to get up and fly the funny thing is, is that they never taught you. I feel the same way with my parents. What I realized is that I needed to start doing things myself and take responsibility for myself. It stinks but that's the only true way to handle it and it maybe hard but you will get through it. Get the support of your friends and do the best you can. If you need help talk to maybe your parents, a guidance counselor, or maybe a teacher at school. Good luck!
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This sounds like a breakdown in communication. Could you try to talk to your parents, explain how you feel about being so dependent on them and ask them to show you how to do the things you want to be able to do yourself. Start with basics and once you've conquered them and built up some confidence, move onto more advanced stuff. This way, you won't be trying to run before you can walk.
Laziness is a factor as is being trained to be dependent, so both you and your parents have contributed to this situation. Try to develop habits such as always doing certain things on a Monday, or after every use. This makes it a routine, after a while it stops being boring and becomes something you do before you can enjoy yourself. Allow yourself rewards, something to look forward to when you've finished doing whatever it is.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Good luck.
Hope
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Your parents sound like they are being pretty hard on you, or at least, like they expect a lot. That, coupled with your own internal pressures, can understandably make you feel like shit.
Stop evaluating where you are right now as good or bad. You are where you are, and by identifying certain areas that you can fix or improve, you will get better at life. Try breaking down areas in your life that you are unhappy with into small chunks that are easy to solve, as opposed to beating yourself up for not being good enough which is a large, vague problem with no clear solution.
What specifically are your parents unhappy with? Sometimes when parents are critical, it is easy to project a general aura of "I have failed" into their words, or project our hardest tasks into their expectations. When you are all feeling calm and are in good moods, approach them with specific things they would like you to do. If you agree and they are reasonable, break them down into easy steps and go about doing them. If your parents are being unreasonable, it may be the time to start disconnecting yourself internally from their wants and expectations.
In terms of the whole what you will do about colleges and careers, that is something that most people are not totally sure about at sixteen. Or even if they are sure, it is completely common for someone to switch schools or majors halfway through, or to take time off in the middle before going into a completely different direction.
Picking a place that is right for you can be based on how strong the school is academically, price, location, how good the school is for your major (if you know what you want to study), the ability of your school to get you internships and professional connections, the extracurriculars offered, and the atmosphere of the school (ie do you feel like you fit in with the people there). How you pick your school is going to be unique based on what you want. It might help you to talk to a guidance counselor. I have also heard that books such as "The Princeton Review" are helpful. Remember that whatever you end up applying to, you can't possibly know now everything you will need to make the "right" decision, but that's okay. Three years into your degree, you might want something completely different. Remember that none of these decisions are set in stone or unchangeable. You are simply doing the best you can with the information you know at the moment.
Your question was a little vague, so if you have any more specific information about universities or independence etc, write it in your evaluation and I would be happy to answer more questions by editing this answer.
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