Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: 18/f. let me tell you a little about myself...
-i go to college 20 minutes away, i commute.
-all my friends left me to go to college EXCEPT
one
-i've never had a boyfriend, yet i've been told i'm gorgeous too many times to count
-i'm outgoing when i want to be and overall i'm a nice person
-i have trust issues but i open up to people way too easily
-i miss high school, those were the best times of my life..

thing is, i feel like im depressed. since all my friends left for college i dont do ANYTHING and really i'm getting sick and tired of it. i go to school everyday, come home take a nap, do homework, watch tv and go to bed. on the friday's usually i'll hang out with my friend that goes to a community college here (one of my best friends) on saturday's i won't do anything. i'll work, come home do a little homework and then do nothing. it's just hard for me right now i feel so alone. i have friends from high school that i can hang out with but i feel so pathetic hanging out with them, and my family is always like why do you still hang out with high schoolers? me and my best friend say we're going to go to all the colleges and visit everyone, but it's never going to happen. we have too different of schedules. sometime's i just sit in my room and cry. nobody knows im like this i pretend like everything is okay and that i'm having fun because really i don't want people to feel bad for me. i feel like i'm not good enough for any boy. all the one's i like, don't like me back but there are SO many that do like me and they're like in 10th grade in high school, weird?! i feel like everyone is prettier than me and everyone has so much of a better life than me. i just have all these emotions sometimes i don't even feel like living anymore...i try to hang out with my best friend as much as possible but she is usually busy with work and school too. i go on facebook and myspace and see all these pictures of people going to parties, and having fun living their life while i'm at home by myself. i talk to people in my classes at school, but it's not the same..what should i do? i really can't take living like this anymore.... and it's NOT an option to live in the dorms..

Just because they are "high schoolers" don't mean a thing. I am 17 years old and my best friend is 22 going on 23. We did everything together and understood each other. Your only 18 years old. who cares if their in high school at least you will be out doing something and not at home all depressed.

Q: im an 18 year old female. i have a best friend, whose a guy. we've been best friends for years now until he got a girlfriend. now i only talk to him maybe once a month texting, barely get to see him and it really does upset me ALOT. last weekend he texted me and we talked for two days straight about so much stuff and last saturday he texted me at like 11:00 and wanted me to come over because his parents were gone but i couldn't. well i guess you could he wants to mess around. don't judge me. anyways he was like lets do something next weekend (meaning this weekend) and i was like okay well you can see me but not DO something with me (meaning sexually) and he was like ok how bout both. and i told him i was going to have my period haha. and he was like ohhhhhh okay yeah haha. so i thought we were going to still hang out this weekend and he didn't text me all week, so i thought he would at least text me yesterday or today and NOTHING. i found out he is in a different state playing hockey for this team he is on this weekend. i don't know if he forgot about it or what? but now im really sad because i had my hopes up of seeing him this weekend and it was the only thing i was looking forward to and now he didn't even talk to me or anything, i dont know if having my period freaked him out or something? i don't know what to do, i don't text people first and everyone including him knows that. i just wish he would of at least texted me or something because now i'm mad... maybe im over-reacting but what do you guys think?

it sounds to me as if you like him more than a friend but afrid to admit it? Maybe you should talk to him. Ask what happened this weekend?

Q: (17/F)

I've been having sex a few times now with my Bf, don't worry we allwas use protection. and today I tryed moaning a bit and well i was actually able to come for the first time, anyway my Bf says that its the girl that makes sex great, is that true?

Technically it a guys view its the girl and in the girls view its the guy

Q: ok umm what should you do if the boy you like goes and asks your friend out?

forget about it he isnt worth your time...

"" go after what you want and if it doesnt want you back it didnt deserve you anyways""

Q: ok so i reaally was thinking about asking this guy out! like we've often been smiling at eachother and he always turns around to look at me or shakes his hair when he's around me. and when we're on th ebus we sometimes look at eachother for a while and then smile and it's always just really cute. BUT yesterday i heard a guy saying that he's gay. the guy is really mean and i thought he just said it because he doesnt like him. but then his friend was like: 'yeah i know he once said something like that'.
so yeah now i really dont know what to do anymore. i have like a really big crush on him now and hearing that made my heart drop a little?!
like should i still talk to him now or not? i thought he thought i was 'outgoing' as well and someone just had to make the first move and TALK. but shiit i really dont know what to do now. i mean yesterday when he smiles at me again i ignored him because i thought he was just making fun of me the whole time or something? but now i feel bad. and alright i admit that he looks maybe a little bit like what somebody might call 'gay'. but i never really thought he was. i mean guys can be stylish without being gay right? and even if he is i still wanna be at least friends cause he seems really nice. arghhh what now???

Ask him.

Talk to him a little bit and be like i heard a rummor that you were gay and i was just wondering if it was true. Weather he sayd yes or no you should be like we should hang out sometime as friends. get to know him some.

Q: 16/f
Long story... Please read if your going to help me!

so there was this guy marcus who i liked and when i talked to him he invited me to hang out with him and his friends
so i went that weekend to the mall with them and had a blast! they were really cool
so marcus and i started talkin on the phone and eventually after like 2 weeks he asked me out and i said yes
so i was really happy and we hung out again
then he started going just a little too fast for me so i said we should be just friends
and its like, i still like him a little but its better this way
but then all of his friends said they dont want to hang out with me anymore now
so im a little sad but oh well
i start seeing him again at school and now hes really standoffish. i mean he still acts okay but hes really cold
but hes like a really cool guy
and i really still wanted to be friends with him but hes acting so uninterested in being my friend and everything
is there anything i should do or could do to have him warm up to me again as a friend? and how should i approach his friends too
thanks please help :[

let me under stand this. you hung out with him and his friends you talked and then started dating he moved to fast so you guys broke up..

now he doesnt want to be friends with you.. in my opinion it looks like he just wanted sex.
OR
he just thought you werent interested in him
be straight forward be like i broke up with you because you were moving to fast and id like very much to still be friends with you if youd allow it. something like that

Q: M/16

I'm so far stuck inside my head. I can't think straight anymore. I feel like I'm just fading away, I don't find any kind of reason to keep waiting to see whats next in life. I've waited for all too long now and I've been growing tired. Every time I find some hint of hope something tears it away from me and I have to crawl back once again into a mode of depression. Though I never act upon them, I've had thoughts of ending everything or though what if I never existed. None of my friends help me or notice when I've left my guard down and exposed how I feel. I'm even being rejected by others whom I thought were friends. I'm practically abandoning hope on myself. The only thing that's made me truly happy was when I had a girlfriend. But when we broke up, I thought I could find someone new. Now I'm in a state of where I just don't see anything in anyone anymore. Everyone is disgusting to me in some way. I feel sad that everyone can let me fade out so easily, I feel angry because no one is doing anything about it, I act like I'm happy all the time, I'm totally apathetic when no one is around and inside my head I'm having a storm of emotions and thoughts run through my head like data on the internet.

I'm a nice person, I have a attractive personality, I'm not exceptionally good looking but I don't care much for that, I'm intelligent, and quite humorous to people. I give great advice I've heard and I'm looked up to a lot. So why is it I'm feeling the way I am? Why can't I get a hold of things? Why does it all seems so hopeless to me?

(P.S. No one recommend medication or seeing a psychiatrist or shrink at all. My parents wouldn't even consider this at all logical or necessary.)

you feel lost and alone because you lost someone you thought you were in love with. everything happens for a reason you might get struck with a ton of mad stuff happening that makes you want to run and hide or do something to harm you or another. but after all the bad stuff happens the good stuff does it may take a y week a few months a year what ever but longer it takes the more good luck that happens. focus on your friends and family find ways to keep busy. put music on pretty loud and scream get rid of your fustrations. do stuff you love to do. you have to have people around you and be your self. get the imiage of you are her out of your head. because you will find someone you truely cares for you who loves you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you. it just takes time..

my sons father cheated on me several times and i was devisated. and then i meet and amazing guy 6 months of agreat relationship and he got controlling etc. then we broke up we got back together and he cheated on me and i was heart broke was depressed for a long time wanted and tried to harm my self but couldnt now im engaged in love and happy. it will work out i promise it just takes time.

Q: 14/f
freshman

I like my science partner. . . but he doesn't know it ( that i know ). Lets call him J.
So today we had a pep rally in school and there was a seat right by me and two seats in front of me. So we barely talk in science, but when he got to my row, he sat right by me and his friends in front of me. And he was like " HEY (my name)! "

Then in science my friend katie didn't have a partner so the teacher told her to be partners with me. So she goes over to J and says that I am working with her, and he gave her a "what the heck?" glare. and i was like, sorry, shes kidnapping me, and he starting laughing.

what does this mean? it seems like he is talking to his friends about me because whenever he whispers, his friends look at me. what does this mean?

You should just go to him and tell him that you like him or your think he is cute or whatever. If your shy i mean you can do the orginal thing and tell a friend how you feel about him and then send her in to his friends for the scoop to see if he likes you. or have her ask him what he thinks of you. good luck.

Q: my boyfriend is telling his friends about our sex life. im mad but i dont know if i really have a reason to be.

You do have a reason to be. It is you and your boyfriends private life and that is something to not go around and tell everyone about. I think you should talk to him about it and tell him why you don't like it.

Q: Okay.. For along time now I always seem to talk to my self, not in public but inside. well thing is that I seem to act like I am talking somone I know and no i don't hear anybody talk about. I talk back for them and thing is. i know I shouldn't do stuff like that. and I seem to but try to stop but I think to much and I don't think bad thoughts ok maybe little sometimes. I can't seem to stop talking to my self and let it run. I try you know listen music play video games and watch tv but i seem do it same time everything I do. i mean i try to just sit and not have no thoughts so ever. I just thought maybe anybody give me GOOD reason stop talking to my self and way I think and maybe way I pretend people saying this and that. I know one reason I know god know what i am saying and he knows before i even say but i need more reason then that to. i don't know if it be HEalth reason could it? i know there people out there talk to them self in public sometimes i don't want that happend to me. i try to get in the real world but not much me to do. I don't go any where I don't drive. i mean mom take me places and I babysit. thing is when i am babysitting i seem talk to my self try not to. it so hard.. i mean i was little i was always talking to the mirror and my parents thought just a phase but it gotten worst as i got older. that one thing i want to change. i try yoga it help sometimes. i try Breathing excerize. i try let thing just happend but soemtimes it just keep coming back.. I feel like i just can't do anything i want to do. there one time in my life i kept my self busy not talk to my self. ithink few times. i want a routaine and yet i want something that just i let me be not let my mind control me. I know i go docter for it. but i think i just want somone talk to. i mean i know i can talk to god. but it just hard i don't hear anything back. i do have fever frineds that i talk to but somtimes they don't have answers i am looking for. i know not everyone dose. sometimes i like to read and but i am afraide i be reading wrong thing and reading to much in to it i seem take things little to serouly anymore. it like books on self help or heath stuff somtimes people thin to much of it. you know? i know i do belive in my self. sorry this is long. anybody can help me understand let me know.
thanks

if it makes you feel better ill explain my situation. i am 17 years old and i have a son. i get "visions" like i want to cut a orange to eat but before i go to do it ill see my self cutting my finger or hand and bleeding and then ill be to afrid to do it or i want to go out side and sit on the balcony and ill see a spidar attacking me ( im terrifid of spidars) so i wont do it. ill talk things out in my head talk to my self like my fiance got mad at me that i wouldnt have sex with him one night i just wanted to watch a movie and i had to talk it over in my head and convince my self to do it. ive talked to my self in a mirror before it takes time to control the type of thing. a doctor could really help and when explaining it to him dont leave a detail out. good luck... need to talk i have myspace www.myspace.com/countrybabe1560

Q: Me and my boyfriend have now been together for a little over 3 weeks, and he already told me he loved me. But since I don't love him back, I didn't say it back, just smiled.
I think the reason I can't say it is because I love someone else, who has a girlfriend. He's told me he loves me and we flirt all the time together. And, I do love him.
I need help knowing how to tell my boyfriend that I don't love him yet and I would like to know how to deal with loving someone that's not my boyfriend.

You have to ask your self certain questions because once your boyfriend finds out you are in love with one else i am sure he will leave you. it's just common sense and keeping it from him is like leading him on. as for the other guy im sure you dont want to ruin his current relationship. so i would just stay single if i was you until he is out of his relationship or move on. or focus on your current relationship if you want it to work.

Q: 17/f/senior in high school

So, in like 2nd grade I had this huge crush on this kid, lets call him Brandon... I liked him up till like 6th or 7th grade.. then just sort of forgot about him. Why is it that every time I see him, I always get really giggly and flirty around him.

I don't really like him now, but its every time I see him, its like all those feelings from back then rush back to me... and I'm like wtf!?! lol.

And its just with him because with anyother guy, its just like I can have a great conversation with, but its not like I get really super flirty or anything..

I don't know, I was wondering this a long time ago, but now I just wanted to ask and get someone's opinion.

Thanx. :]

you think about him a lot i liked this guy in 2nd grade and 3rd grade. 4th grade he got sent to the magnet program (sent to the middle school) and i hadn't seen him again until high school. i was still shy around him but he was my first crush so ill never forget him. as like you you have a huge crush and you wont forget him but eventually he will be pushed to the back of your mind since you dont really like him anymore. if you still really liked him its possible your "in love" with him but never dated you know?

Q: Okay, so i'm 14/f in highschool , freshie!!! haha, okay so anyway. at my school we have a freshman play and only freshman can try out. Well, this is my first play. In middle school you could do the musical, my friends did that but I can't sing so i didnt. My friend can't act. She sucks. Well I've never told her this(That would be mean!) But everyone knows that if your charecter is a name (Like Stacey, Jill, Laura etc) it's a bigger role then not a name (Nurse 1, Student 5 etc.) Well my friend got Fan 2. Shes mad at me because this is my first play and i got a 'lead'. she seems to think that if i didn't try out she would have gotten my part. However we don't know this for a fact. But, shes all mad at me. Am I wrong to not be bothered by this? Like, all the good people are cast and if i quit then i'm letting down a lot of people. On top of that...I don't want to quit. I want to do it. I want to start acting. She inssits shes not mad but i can tell she is and shes telling everyone that she is and that its all my fault. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO LIKE SABOTAGE HER! I guess i'm good if i made it without experience and only one class. What do you think?

If your friend were to be really close than she would support you through this. Obviously it is something you really want and dropping out of the play if going to bring a lot of what ifs into you mind. Do the play and tell your friend that you hope this play doesnt interfer with your friendship but its something you would really like to do.

Q: I am desperate to gain weight! I am 28 yrs. old and my weight and appetite is very poor and always have been. I have been to numerous doctors complaining about me being under weight and majority of them think i am fine and i will not gain weight until i become pregnant. I eat and i eat alot at times and at other times just don't have an appetite especially when i am stressed or upset. I have complained about it so much to one doctor that he has precribed me Marinol( Medical Marijuana ) to increase my appetite but i have been on it for over 2 months and have not gain one pound. I have become a very unsocial, depressed and angry person due to my weight. I hear alot of hurtful things like i'm anorexic, i eat air, "your so skinny you might fly away!", etc. and at first i would laugh it off but now i just get angry and irratated! I'm always grouchy and tired which i think is due to my weight, i do have iron deficency and very high metabolism but nothing major that would stop me from gaining weight well nothing that they have found yet. I have been dealing with my weight for years and have tried almost everything and at this point i'm willing to try whatever, i am even considering smoking pot! which is so not like me as i do not do drugs or alchol but am willing to try it to gain a few pounds. I am embararresed to go to the doctors anymore as i think they think i'm "Nuts"! they always tell me that "women would love to have your weight"! well yeah, women who are not in their right mind, who would want to be 86 pounds? I am starting to think that i am never going to gain weight and my life will never change but only get worse emotionally.....am i crazy to want to gain weight?

Ask a doctor to check your thyroid

Q: anybody can help me?? because i am really upset because my BFF replaced me just because i moved here in america... she have a new BFF and just left me alone, now i don't know who my bff is... my whole life was ruined because of this!! i don't know even know who i am anymore :(
**sad** **crying**
t_t can you heal my heart?? can you plz help me?? i really need someone that can give me some advice. what should i do??

first off stop and take a breather.
i moved from ohio to missouri and my best friend and i arn't technically best friends any more but we are still friends and you can be that way with your best friend to. and trust me it is going to feel like she replaced you because i felt the same way but now i relize she needs someone around like i did. and you can make new friends it just takes time. moving sucks trust me. but after a little bit you will meet new people and everything.. good luck

Q: [veerry long)

so my friend 'sue' is dating a boy named 'kyle'.
they've dated before but he cheated on her.
theyre now back together.
he makes her so happy.
and yeah im happy for her and stuff.
butt when i walk up to them in the halls she looks at me like im stupid/annoying? its confusing.

my friend 'josh' came up to me and started talking to me...
this is how it went
josh:wow. sues become a real bitch ever since her and kyle got back together.
me: yeah shes changed alot ever since he came back in the picture.

it got out to her.
and she asked me if i really said that.
i told her yes.
and shes taken it way out of proportion
we yelled at eachother ALOT.
and now were not talking.
me her and some friends were all suppose to hang out tomorow for halloween but that doesnt look like its gonna happen anymore.
welll anyhelp on what i should do?

shes blaming me for hating her boyfriend.
and being jelous.
and shes been a total bch to me.
annnd i made a promise to her about never cutting myself again.
and now she said she doesnt care if i do it or not. idunno

Ask he if you can talk to her (don't yell) and if says no tell her well when you ready to talk to me ill be waiting. (show that you care for her as a friend by saying that)

tell her you want to say something and ask her to listen before saying anything.

when she is ready to talk tell her that you didn't call her a Btch that you were just saying she has changed a lot since the two of them got back together. Tell her I like your boyfriend because he makes you so happy but i get worried that he is going to hurt you again. When we are at school and I walk up to you it seems that you look at me like im stupid or annoying or something.

let her know you dont want to fight or end a friendship over something like this or over anything.

good luck.

Q: so the guy im talking to wants to have sex and idk. like im scared of the possibilities of getting pregnant and it hurting and i have no idea what to do!! please help

My advice is you will know when you are ready to have sex with something. Don't do it if your not ready and from what you have said you don't said ready at all. I made a mistake by having sex when i wasn't ready and I wish I would have waited but there isn't anything i can do it about it know. If i was you id wait. good luck.

Ps.. dont be pressured into anything if you tell him no and he gets mad about it. all he wants is sex anyways

Q: well today what happened is that my teacher read my poem and what happened is that she would not let me read my poem to a fourth grader but she said that it was good like as a rant poem but what i said to her was that i think that kids should know what other people say about them and if i have to fix it then i am not going to read it and the thing that i need advice for is if i should have handeled it diffrentley

Im not sure what your poem was about but either you can make changes to your poem so you can read it to your class. or ask your principal or counsler about the poem ask them to read it and their opinion on it Dont get to angry about it teachers do have the say about it, but sounds like you would be very good in a debate when you older. good luck.

Q: (Female)

my parents have this rule right? and its that no boys are allowed to stay in my room overnight until im 18. they say its cus it would be like, inviting us to have sex and they dont approve of it. - which is weird cus my bf is allowed in my room till like, 1am and we end up having sex then anyway. thing is, when we've discussed it in the past, i asked them what would happen if i was gay - whether they would not allow my best friends who have stayed in my room for the past 10 years or so stay over any more. and what would happpen if i was bi - would they not allow any one to stay over? wel anywho, they ended up saying that it was "like me" to just say i was gay to be allowed guys to stay over and then as soon as im 18 to say, oh no I'm straight again. I dont know where they get this from and i wouldnt do anything like that at all. but now i do actually wanna come out to my parents and i dont think they will believe me! Im really open and into gay rights and ive always been that way, and my mum knows ive had sex with guys and that i have a boyfriend so - how do i get her to believe me?

Let your mother know that you are ready to come out, explain to her why you have a boyfriend because that may confuse her. but let them come around to it on their own. good luck.

Q: I Finally told this guy that i like him but the when i told him that he asked me if i was being serious, i said yes. he didnt tell me that he liked me back, but he did tell me that he thought I was out of his league. so is that basically i did like you at a point or not? i dont know, and well i would really like to start talking to him but the thing is that he is moving out of the states in three weeks. :( major frown. and i dont know what to do. he cant stay because he has to move with his family out of the us due to his dads job.

im super confused, i do like him and well i really dont know what to do.

It's not worth your time hun. You might feel heart broken because you like him but it is going to feel worse when he leaves. Tell him to keep incontact and that you hope you will remain friends. after he leaves you will probaly need some ice cream or a girls night out. good luck.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.