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I'm confused about albsolutely everything...
M/16
I'm so far stuck inside my head. I can't think straight anymore. I feel like I'm just fading away, I don't find any kind of reason to keep waiting to see whats next in life. I've waited for all too long now and I've been growing tired. Every time I find some hint of hope something tears it away from me and I have to crawl back once again into a mode of depression. Though I never act upon them, I've had thoughts of ending everything or though what if I never existed. None of my friends help me or notice when I've left my guard down and exposed how I feel. I'm even being rejected by others whom I thought were friends. I'm practically abandoning hope on myself. The only thing that's made me truly happy was when I had a girlfriend. But when we broke up, I thought I could find someone new. Now I'm in a state of where I just don't see anything in anyone anymore. Everyone is disgusting to me in some way. I feel sad that everyone can let me fade out so easily, I feel angry because no one is doing anything about it, I act like I'm happy all the time, I'm totally apathetic when no one is around and inside my head I'm having a storm of emotions and thoughts run through my head like data on the internet.
I'm a nice person, I have a attractive personality, I'm not exceptionally good looking but I don't care much for that, I'm intelligent, and quite humorous to people. I give great advice I've heard and I'm looked up to a lot. So why is it I'm feeling the way I am? Why can't I get a hold of things? Why does it all seems so hopeless to me?
(P.S. No one recommend medication or seeing a psychiatrist or shrink at all. My parents wouldn't even consider this at all logical or necessary.)
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Feeling like this is one of the worst feelings a person can have. beleive it or not,the words you just said explain just about everything that goes on inside me. You basically feel just as if no one cares, you wonder if anyone ever has and when you think like that, it just makes you cringe inside. You just want to throw things and show your anger but you know you can't and won't because that's just not the person you are. You feel as if the world is going by and nobody notices you, you wonder if you're barely a shadow to them. If nobody cares.
Why are you feeling this way? I may be wrong, but just think back on your life. has everything just felt as if its been the same and nothing extremely exciting or meaningful has happened? Do you feel as if your life has been in monotone for a while now? You start to notice negative things from the people around you because you are aching for them. You are waiting for them to need you and want to know who you are what you think.
Even if exciting or meaningful things have happened, for some reason are they just not filling up your life and giving you satisfaction? My word of advice to you is to stop waiting for something to happen. Just keep going. I would bet you a million bucks that something will pop up.
I strongly beleive that Those who are patient receive great things.
Now, your thoughts of "what if i never existed". Just stop thinking that. If you never existed, alot of other peoples lives would also be different. Everything you do everyday effects other peoples lives in strange ways. Remember that.Don't get rid of yourself, you never know what will become of you in the future. You have to be patient and find out. think of it as s mystery or something. Try looking at all the good things life brings you, the bad things will go away sooner or later. same thing goes with what you are feeling right now. Those odd mixed up feelings of emotions will come and go.
If you would like to talk to me about this or anything else please contact me via email.It woould be my pleasure :)
sAmeMistAke f/16
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Honestly, the reason you may feel so hopeless is because you loved your girlfriend, and you felt like you could be yourself and be happy. It is just a stage I promise, because everyone goes through a breakup, everyone realizes people they thought were their friends really arent. Sometimes I feel like I am fading too, honestly everyone gets like that. The reason you can't get a hold of things is b/c its all in your head, you even said it, you feel stuck inside your head. That doesn't mean somthing is wrong with you, I am sure you will be fine. What you need to do is sort how you really feel.
YOu obviously are not too far gone, b/c you have never acted on your suicidal thoughts. Thank God, please dont.
Maybe if you talk to someone about how you feel about it, not therapy, I mean a best friend, asibling or parent. B/c if you are honest with them and yourself you will come back to life, and really live it, not just be stuck inside your head. Sometimes, when you are afraid of something, or feel lost if you just face it, it goes away. you can overcome, actually you will overcome it.
Good luck with everything, but don't give up hope, because w/o hope there is only despair left. And thats a sucky emotion. trust me. :)
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you feel lost and alone because you lost someone you thought you were in love with. everything happens for a reason you might get struck with a ton of mad stuff happening that makes you want to run and hide or do something to harm you or another. but after all the bad stuff happens the good stuff does it may take a y week a few months a year what ever but longer it takes the more good luck that happens. focus on your friends and family find ways to keep busy. put music on pretty loud and scream get rid of your fustrations. do stuff you love to do. you have to have people around you and be your self. get the imiage of you are her out of your head. because you will find someone you truely cares for you who loves you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you. it just takes time..
my sons father cheated on me several times and i was devisated. and then i meet and amazing guy 6 months of agreat relationship and he got controlling etc. then we broke up we got back together and he cheated on me and i was heart broke was depressed for a long time wanted and tried to harm my self but couldnt now im engaged in love and happy. it will work out i promise it just takes time.
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