Hi. All I really have to say is if you are asking me a question, don't expect the all time best advise ever. I will always be pleased to answer your queston and I always invite you to ask me for some help or advise. I am usually very good at these sort of things. Not much else to say.
Peace out there.
sAmeMistAke
Member Since: January 7, 2008
Answers: 43
Last Update: November 10, 2011
Visitors: 3839
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I'm staying with people like family at the moment and I have been having trouble living with the deviant 12 year old. She's been spoiled and is never really punished. She has been diagnosed with defiant disorder, adhd, and etc. She never takes her meds according to what she tells me. I often feel like I'm walknig on eggshells when I'm around her. To me, she exbits behavior similar to one with narcissism and antisocial disorder. She was adopted at 4mnths and her natural mother was into drugs and alcohal according to what I've heard and had given up several babies from different men. It seems to me she tries often to dehumanize people so that she can put herself in higher jurisdiction. She has no regard to how she appears to anyone. She lies, manipulates, and sometimes borrows without asking if she knows she won't get in trouble for it. She often tries to seek weaknesses in others to use for her manipulation. She often displays little or no expressions when I speak to her and she acts unaffected when her mother grounds her. I rarely see genuine actions except when she's upset or lonely. She is very cut throat when her parents or even me tell her she's doing wrong behavior. She uses the distraction technique when her mother approaches her in not minding her. She often tries to win in those situations and to me, it seems she really does most of the times because she's untangible. She doesn't care about getting in trouble... it's "no big deal." She doesn't fear authority and does not feel punishment. She also has no regard for one's privacy and often infringes another's space without care. ShIn conversation, when it comes to getting what she wants, she will say anything whether it works or not doesnt matter to her. She would quickly move into another approach and goes off the emotion of whom she's asking until she has reached them and they give her what she asked. I've known her her whole life. She's always been a trouble maker and she use to throw extreme tantrums every morning. She has also fetal alcohal syndrome, it's apparent in her features. I find it difficult some days when she's her worst. Know of any solutions to help her straighten up? I really can't do much about it because I'm not her mother and her mother is very stubborn. I need to know some techniques for myself so I do not get so frustrated to the point I feel out of control. (link)
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I pray to God that you did not do this: "What you can do is sit her down when she's not acting this way and tell her that she would do much better at school and at home if she reacted differently in certain situations and asked herself to calm down, think, and then react differently and give her examples not attacking of what she could do better and when she was inappropriate."
In my opinion, all that is going to do is piss the girl right off. Especially when the girl has fetal alcohal syndrome and adhd. I don't know this girl personally, but I have worked with difficult children before. Honestly, in my opinion, if you want the child to listen to you or at least have an ounce of respect for you, you need to make a personal connection first. You need to build a relationship with her somehow to the point where she feels as if she can trust you in a more personal way. It appears she gives the house a very negative atmosphere. Don't allow anything she does to bother you - or allow her see that it bothers you anyway, because that is what she is looking for. Some sort of emotion from you. She wants attention. She probably wants other things too, but almost every child strives for some sort of attention. Her way of getting attention is by acting out. So give her attention. Lots of it. But by being interested in her life. Or play a game with her. Or tell her a story about yourself ( a true one or just make it up to make yourself sound cool-she doesnt know)
She may act like she is unaffected when her mother grounds her but she is actually greatly impacted by it. She has gotten into a routine where she feels as if she is so good at misbehaving that being good would give her too much attention from her family. That they would really notice her good behaviour... If that makes any sense.
And yes, your attitude towards this girl is very negative but why the hell wouldnt it be. She's being a little shit and its making you frustrated. Try looking for the good qualities in her. Or maybe past memories of her that are more poitive.
Find something that she is interested in, and become interested in it too. Allow her to teach you things about something she is interested in. Ask her questions about it.
Another thing, try your very hardest to not raise your voice at her when you get in a disagreement or if she is misbehaving again. If you dont do that already then you're good. If you are trying to tell her something important or youre pissed at her, look her dead in the eye. Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact.
Nobody can really make her straghten up, regardless of her disorders she is still a 12 year old girl. In my opinion, one of the most difficult ages. Its her decision whetehr she even wants to change. Just help her find that she even has that decision, and help her make the right one somehow. Every child is different. Good luck.
-sAmeMistAke
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17/f
is it normal for me not to like anything going up my vagina??
like i refuse to wear tampons, and i refuse to get fingered. I dont want to have sex until i'm comfortable with something going up there.
but is that weird? like for a person my age?
also, i've tried sticking things up there like a tampon or a finger, but it hurts soooooooooooooooo badly everytime it gets to about half an inch. whats wrong with me? :( i feel so different.. its embarassing cause i'm 17. (link)
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No worries there is nothing wrong with you. It could be many things that might make you hurt though. Im not sure what kind of pain you are having but it could just be your hymen hasnt been broken?? Maybe its thick, everyones is different. or perhaps it could just be the thought of putting something up there tenses you up. My advice is to google this. You might be surprised but many other people have this situation too. If all else fails then i suggest you see a doctor:)
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what are some other cool sex positions rather than anal and doggy style...
i want some fun ones and some ones that are really good :D
HELP PLEASE :) (link)
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just google it. there are hundreds of positions out there.
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18/F
Long question, sorry.
I'm a freshman in college and struggled at first with meeting people when I first moved in, despite the fact that my roommate and I were very outgoing people in high school. A couple of months in, we began hanging out with our RA, Ally, because she knew everyone from my high school. Ally introduced us to her friends (also RAs) Joey and Jake. She also told me that she had a huge crush on Jake. Unable to help my feelings, I developed a strong crush on Jake over the past couple of months as well. At first, I layed low and tried not to get in the way for the sake of my friendship with Ally. However, Jake made it clear that he had no feelings for her whatsoever, and Ally started backing off as well. Although I didn't move in right away, I felt that since he had made it clear to Ally they were just friends, it was okay for me to open up a little more with him (concerning flirtyness).
Jake and I would always hang out...I would end up falling asleep on his futon due to the long hours we would spend just hanging out. We did nothing physical and didn't do any hardcore flirting. My roommate and some other friends also began to think he had a crush for me too. One day, when i was watching a TV show with Joey and Jake in Jake's room, he asked me to cuddle with him. First off, this is strange because he NEVER asks girls to cuddle with him. We cuddled all night, had tickle fights, and he randomly kissed my hand because he "hurt my feelings" (again, weird, because he never physically does things like that to girls). The next morning he was super adorable, we went to lunch together and he put his arm around me and was just really cute.
However, later that night he started acting strange towards me, and during the following week as well. It was hard talking to him and he hardly gave me any physical contact. It was just awkward being around him. I ended up spilling my heart to Joey about my feelings for Jake. Even though they are best friends, Joey still watches out for me. His best advice was for me to tell Jake how I feel. I just don't know how and when to do it...
I hung out with Jake again last night, with our friend Anthony. Jake ended up cuddling/falling asleep with me on the futon, despite the fact that he could have slept in his bed...he never EVER sleeps on his futon. I have not once ever seen him give up his bed for a futon. Then he kept mentioning a girl he "could" date, and I got jealous. He told me that he wouldn't date her because she's still in high school, and that he needed to find a good college girl. I said I needed to find a good college guy. Anthony said, "you two are laying right next to each other...", to which Jake responded (While cuddling) "oh but we're brother and sister..."
Everyone thinks he likes me but he's trying to convince himself otherwise. I don't know if he does, and I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or wait it out. And if I do talk to him, what would be said and how would I bring it up? Help with this situation please! (link)
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i think you should talk to him about it. Ask him what is up?he cuddles with you and then talks about some other girls he wants to date. Hes acting like a tease.Just get him talking about how he feels about everything then tell him about you and talk about how much hes confusing you. hope i helped.
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my mom was telling me about this thing last night that replaces a tampon when you're on your period. its a cup-type thing and when you stick it in, it "collects" the blood i guess? and you take it out every few hours to empty it and you keep reusing it.
does anyone know what on earth i'm talking about and where i could get one? thanks. i'd look it up myself but i'd have no idea what its called or even what to search. so thanks in advance. (link)
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Yes, i have done some research on this myself. There is both The Moon cup and The Keeper. one is made of silicon and the other latex. http://www.keeper.com/ Just read for yourself.
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Hey,
I was just wondering;
what does it mean if myboyfriend calls other girls (like sisters and friends, ect) my name accidentally?
He loves me a lot, and i find it cute but why does he do that accidentally?
:) Thanks (link)
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Well people always do that accidentally. there is no real purpose for this. he most likely says your name to others because your name is one that he says more often than others.
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I am very tall for a girl, almost 6 foot and I always have trouble finding pants. Right now I am looking for a good pair of skinny jeans but i can never find ones that are long enough that fit right.
I don't want to pay a ridiculous amount either.
i normally wear jeans size 30x35-36
any good stores? preferably not online..but anything helps. (link)
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try Old navy, they now have jeans that come in short, regular and tall. I also strongly suggest a store called TallGirl.IThere is one close to me but I'm not sure if you have one near you. look at there website www.tallgirlshop.com they specialize in women that need longer shirts, pants and even larger shoes.They can be a bit expensive at times but there are sales sometimes. Hope I helped, i have the same problem as you.
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I'm 30 years old. I'm from Indonesia. My friend send the lirics of the song I'm yours by e-mail . I'm thinking he is trying to inform me that he is interested in me through the song. Some of the lirics of he song say "well you done done me and you bet I felt it, I tried to be chill but you are so hot that I melted.
Please tell me that is my imagination. He had never sent me any song lyrics before of regular songs of any kind. He is married. I'm friends with his wife.
(link)
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Well for starters, i beleive there could be many reasons for him to have sent you these specific lyrics. Maybe he just wanted to show you them, or they just remind him of you. Heck, maybe he acidentaly sent them to you. On the other hand, maybe he sent you those lyrics because he is interested in you--that observatiom seems more clearer than others. I think you should e-mail him back and ask him why he sent those lyrics directly to you. Just talk to him about it. if he is interested in you after all, it is your decision on what to do about that. The better thing to do is either keep quiet about it and see if things will fly by or tell his wife who is your friend. What would you want someone to do for you?
Hope i gave you some help and things to think over.
sAmeMistAke
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M/16
I'm so far stuck inside my head. I can't think straight anymore. I feel like I'm just fading away, I don't find any kind of reason to keep waiting to see whats next in life. I've waited for all too long now and I've been growing tired. Every time I find some hint of hope something tears it away from me and I have to crawl back once again into a mode of depression. Though I never act upon them, I've had thoughts of ending everything or though what if I never existed. None of my friends help me or notice when I've left my guard down and exposed how I feel. I'm even being rejected by others whom I thought were friends. I'm practically abandoning hope on myself. The only thing that's made me truly happy was when I had a girlfriend. But when we broke up, I thought I could find someone new. Now I'm in a state of where I just don't see anything in anyone anymore. Everyone is disgusting to me in some way. I feel sad that everyone can let me fade out so easily, I feel angry because no one is doing anything about it, I act like I'm happy all the time, I'm totally apathetic when no one is around and inside my head I'm having a storm of emotions and thoughts run through my head like data on the internet.
I'm a nice person, I have a attractive personality, I'm not exceptionally good looking but I don't care much for that, I'm intelligent, and quite humorous to people. I give great advice I've heard and I'm looked up to a lot. So why is it I'm feeling the way I am? Why can't I get a hold of things? Why does it all seems so hopeless to me?
(P.S. No one recommend medication or seeing a psychiatrist or shrink at all. My parents wouldn't even consider this at all logical or necessary.) (link)
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Feeling like this is one of the worst feelings a person can have. beleive it or not,the words you just said explain just about everything that goes on inside me. You basically feel just as if no one cares, you wonder if anyone ever has and when you think like that, it just makes you cringe inside. You just want to throw things and show your anger but you know you can't and won't because that's just not the person you are. You feel as if the world is going by and nobody notices you, you wonder if you're barely a shadow to them. If nobody cares.
Why are you feeling this way? I may be wrong, but just think back on your life. has everything just felt as if its been the same and nothing extremely exciting or meaningful has happened? Do you feel as if your life has been in monotone for a while now? You start to notice negative things from the people around you because you are aching for them. You are waiting for them to need you and want to know who you are what you think.
Even if exciting or meaningful things have happened, for some reason are they just not filling up your life and giving you satisfaction? My word of advice to you is to stop waiting for something to happen. Just keep going. I would bet you a million bucks that something will pop up.
I strongly beleive that Those who are patient receive great things.
Now, your thoughts of "what if i never existed". Just stop thinking that. If you never existed, alot of other peoples lives would also be different. Everything you do everyday effects other peoples lives in strange ways. Remember that.Don't get rid of yourself, you never know what will become of you in the future. You have to be patient and find out. think of it as s mystery or something. Try looking at all the good things life brings you, the bad things will go away sooner or later. same thing goes with what you are feeling right now. Those odd mixed up feelings of emotions will come and go.
If you would like to talk to me about this or anything else please contact me via email.It woould be my pleasure :)
sAmeMistAke f/16
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I've been laying in the tanning bed lately & I burnt my nipples.
Now they have this scab-looking skin over them & its not attractive at all...
How can I speed up the healing process? (link)
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I would use aloe vera just to cool it down a bit. try putting on vaseline after tghough. it will soften the skin, although i wouldn't go it on, just a thin layer so it isn't uncomfortable.
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how should i do my make up with my new hair? and ways to play around with my hair to make it look pretty??
here's a picture for reference:
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee233/danielajocabed31/100_1222.jpg (link)
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Try using a darkgreen.olive green eyeshdow on the lower eyelid then a beige colour overtop.It goes great with your skin and brings out your eyes.
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how do you move stars for a person you love that much ??...and how do you show a person how much you love them...whilst haveing nothing to give.....how do you make that person smile when i cant do it properly my self.......how do you let go of bein in a cuddle when tbh...you dont wna ever have to leave there arms......how ??....nd how do you not cry infront of this person when u wna be there to protect that person from the bad people and things in life ?? ....how ??.......how do i know if im holding this persons hand to tight or if its not tight enough and how do i turn anger into more love for this person...does it matter if i dont mind being cold aslong as this person is warm....and does it matter if when where sleeping even tho its a double bed sheet on a single bed this person takes all the covers and i lay there freezeing ??.......how do i show im truely sorry to this person when i get angry at this person when all i want for this person is for her to have nufing but smiles on her face and to feel like her face is gna brake coz the smiles and laughter keep cmin out even tho she wants it to stop coz it hurts...........how can i wipe away her tears when they come and make her feel secure again when the werst of things happen and ......how do i tell this person just once.....not everyday......every ten seconds and after every nice thing that happens...but just that one time that it hits her so hard she falls over and realises.......i love her so much ti forces tears out of me at the smallest sign of a sad slow song ???..............how ?? (link)
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How? You try your hardest.
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Does anyone have any good no sew or hardley and sewing cloth pad patterns? (link)
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http://shewhorunsintheforest.googlepages.com/
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i play/partipate in a lot of sports and have been using tampons for the last 5 years. i've had sex with my boyfriend at the begining of feb but not been able to since i bled for about 20 mins? (not t sure) but is thre anyway that i can make sure i don't bleed next time?!
thanks (link)
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Not really. You could go to the doctor who could have a look down there and get your hymen removed. Some people bleed more than once, some only once, some none at all.
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so i have really thin hair
and it doesnt do anything (scrunch, curl, even that hair flippy thing)
i straighten it
yeah so my hair is like fly-away mania
and with the weather it has crazy static
i tried using hairspray, and that fly-away control hair cream
nothing seems to work
IS THERE ANY HOPE?! what can i do with it ? are there any really good products?!
thanks :]
(link)
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For static...the all time best thing to use is plain old regular drier sheets. i use them allll the time when my hair gets staticyy and it lasts all day.
just lightly go over your hair with a dryer sheet.It's That simple.
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browsing through few sites i found, in girls, aerola shapes differs in every girls....does it indicate fertility in females? why do they vary? Does that have anything to do her sex drive? or it keeps growing if she is sexually activ? (link)
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the aerola shapes and sizes are different in every person- it has nothing to do with a persons sex drive- unless they are ashamed of their apperence whichh is just a body image problem. the aerola sometimes grow as a women gets older or after pregnancy, but thats not too common.
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sorry i didn't really know where to put this but...
what does it mean when someone has a 'camel toe' (link)
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it means that girls pants ride up in there pussy therefor making two bumps like a camel's toe.
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the nails clipped from my toenails smell funky.. do i have a foot infection fungus/ (link)
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No. Most peoples feet do that. its just because our feet are always shuved in sockes and shoes and what not.
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i know i have asked this before butwhen i shave my legs it still looks they're hairy (even when they're smooth) because of the pores are so black and so huge and red... is there anything i can do to fix this? It is so emberassing i cant explain why it is it just is.. It is just all dotted and spotted looking! (link)
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Someone I know told me that the only way to stop the little dots is to wax your legs for a while before the pores start to get smaller. Sux right?? i have the same problem but am terrified of waxing anywhere.
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I seem to have these little bumps that come and go under my tongue and they drive me insane! It's almost like a little white pimple or something...
Does anyone know what it is or how to get rid of them?!
Thanks (link)
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I always get those little white thingers that look and feel so much like pimples. They are actually not pimples. they are dead taste buds. this is caused by too much salt or sugar on your tongue. I usually just leave them untill they go away. Warm water and salt will help but other than that, you just have to live with it.
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