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Telling a guy how I feel...not sure if he feels the same way.
18/F
Long question, sorry.
I'm a freshman in college and struggled at first with meeting people when I first moved in, despite the fact that my roommate and I were very outgoing people in high school. A couple of months in, we began hanging out with our RA, Ally, because she knew everyone from my high school. Ally introduced us to her friends (also RAs) Joey and Jake. She also told me that she had a huge crush on Jake. Unable to help my feelings, I developed a strong crush on Jake over the past couple of months as well. At first, I layed low and tried not to get in the way for the sake of my friendship with Ally. However, Jake made it clear that he had no feelings for her whatsoever, and Ally started backing off as well. Although I didn't move in right away, I felt that since he had made it clear to Ally they were just friends, it was okay for me to open up a little more with him (concerning flirtyness).
Jake and I would always hang out...I would end up falling asleep on his futon due to the long hours we would spend just hanging out. We did nothing physical and didn't do any hardcore flirting. My roommate and some other friends also began to think he had a crush for me too. One day, when i was watching a TV show with Joey and Jake in Jake's room, he asked me to cuddle with him. First off, this is strange because he NEVER asks girls to cuddle with him. We cuddled all night, had tickle fights, and he randomly kissed my hand because he "hurt my feelings" (again, weird, because he never physically does things like that to girls). The next morning he was super adorable, we went to lunch together and he put his arm around me and was just really cute.
However, later that night he started acting strange towards me, and during the following week as well. It was hard talking to him and he hardly gave me any physical contact. It was just awkward being around him. I ended up spilling my heart to Joey about my feelings for Jake. Even though they are best friends, Joey still watches out for me. His best advice was for me to tell Jake how I feel. I just don't know how and when to do it...
I hung out with Jake again last night, with our friend Anthony. Jake ended up cuddling/falling asleep with me on the futon, despite the fact that he could have slept in his bed...he never EVER sleeps on his futon. I have not once ever seen him give up his bed for a futon. Then he kept mentioning a girl he "could" date, and I got jealous. He told me that he wouldn't date her because she's still in high school, and that he needed to find a good college girl. I said I needed to find a good college guy. Anthony said, "you two are laying right next to each other...", to which Jake responded (While cuddling) "oh but we're brother and sister..."
Everyone thinks he likes me but he's trying to convince himself otherwise. I don't know if he does, and I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or wait it out. And if I do talk to him, what would be said and how would I bring it up? Help with this situation please!
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I think you need to hear this story. :)
I can completely relate to this situation ... because I was like the Jake in my situation. I secretly had the biggest crush on my best guy friend, and every time someone would say something like "you two should just date!!" I would basically panic and it would be really awkward so i'd cover it up and say "nahhh we're just best friends. :)" and i'd also flirt with other guys in front of him, and also mention other guys, people ask why I do that? And the only thing I could say is to not be so obvious that I had feelings for him because I was too scared to find out how he really felt so I was fishing for answers.
He did flirt with me though, he cuddled with me, he cared about me but I also didn't know if it was just him being my best friend and feeling comfortable with me, or if he really did have feelings for me. To this day, everyone thinks we are going to get married, and guess what? I STILL haven't confessed my feelings for him, after TWO years and now he's going to be going off to college next year and I feel like i've lost my chance...
Your probably wondering, why is she telling me this?? Because I want you to tell him how you feel!! You won't have to keep wondering "what if" all the time like I did, for two years. Trust me, it's not a good feeling at all. I was and still am stuck on someone who will never know how I feel. Next time your cuddling with him, just ask him. Be like .... so Jake, do you really see me as your sister?? And then see what he says. You will be able to tell if he feels uncomfortable and trying to hide his feelings for you .. and if you feel like he does have feelings for you just flat out tell him how your feeling.
Please do this for me!! :) Good luck, let me know if you need anything else ♥
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i think you should talk to him about it. Ask him what is up?he cuddles with you and then talks about some other girls he wants to date. Hes acting like a tease.Just get him talking about how he feels about everything then tell him about you and talk about how much hes confusing you. hope i helped.
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He could or could not seriously like you the main issue to me is not how he feels but how you feel. Becuase, if he is getting touchy feely and showing no signs of wanting a real serious committed relationsip he could just be trying to get sex and then move on. So, maybe you should directly tell him how you feel if you are not an old fashioned girl, and don't mind hearing the truth if the answer is not want you want to hear, or don't mind being lied to or patronized for a guy to get what he wants if he is one of those types. But, when you do just pay close attention and know how to read betweent the lines for signs of lies, and understand his true intentions; just do not give anything away to any one who is not serious about you.
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