  ">
i'm samantha but most people call me sam or sammy. ready for change. helping people is a passion of mine, so ask away. thats all :)
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Member Since: October 14, 2009
Answers: 10
Last Update: November 9, 2010
Visitors: 2292
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
cloudy_conscience
|
| |
i want to start tanning again, but the last time i did a couple years ago, i had some problems with it. my back got darker than my front, and my sides didnt get tan at all, and neith did under my arms. so i just have a few questions. :)
are all tanning beds the same? do they turn you orange for a while, then you get tan? ( i turned a little orange when i did it.)
could the reason i turned orange be because of the lotion i was using? should i not use a lotion? i was thinking that maybe i could use this lotion in there: http://www.deepsixintl.com/images/thumbs/HTnew4lotion.jpg i use that when i lay outside sometimes, and it always seemed to work really well. or should i just get a super good lotion that's made for the tanning bed?
any tips or just anything that anyone can tell me would be greatly appreciated. :) (link)
|
Okay I think I can help with this a little bit since I work at a tanning salon.
The reason you were tanning in some areas and not the other may be the bed you were tanning in. Was it the lowest level bed that is really small? This happens alot because you cant spread your arms, legs, etc. There are different level of beds and I would recommend using a higher level bed. You'll see a more even tan and get better color. You should not be looking orange at all. As for lotion, ALWAYS use lotion. Lotion is used to hydrate your skin, without it, this is where you're going to get your wrinkles and your skin will look like leather. Also, if you don't lose lotion you lose 5 minutes of the tanning because your skin isn't moisturized. So always use lotion. As for what kind of lotion, different people like different lotions. Personally I like a bronzer, some people don't. I think they work well. At our work we sell step 1 lotions and step 2 lotions. They each do something different for your skin so you alternate every time. Also, some people love the tingle lotions. This will cause you to be really red right when you get out because it brings all the red blood cells to the top of your skin, but after an hour the redness goes away and it gets you pretty tan. Don't use lotion that you use outside, definitely buy an indoor lotion. Either one with a bronzer or with a tingle. I hope this helped, if you have any more questions send it to my inbox!
|
Do men really care what it looks like "down there"? I'm afraid to have sex because I feel like he will see all the little flaws down there like razor bumps and be grossed out or something. I guess what I really want o know is whether men really carre what it looks like down there. What do most men prefer it too look like?
Btw I'm 17 (link)
| |
I know I'm not a guy but I feel like I can help you with this because I went through the same issue. I was always so self conscious of myself especially when it came to sex or being intimate with a guy. Whenever a guy tried to go down my pants I would automatically push them away because I didn't want them to feel or see what was down there. Finally one night I was with this guy. Things seemed so comfortable and we started making out and he took off my pants, and then we fore-played, and then had sex. To be honest, he didn't even look down there. He was too focused on me instead of my body. When your actually having sex, you get so into it that you don't even think "what's he going to think about my flaws" because he doesn't notice them!! He isn't staring at your vagina, he isn't looking for your flaws, he is too focused on YOU. As long as you shave, trust me he won't care. I always thought "I have to be baby smooth down there or he will be grossed out." Then one night I hadn't shaved for a couple days and I was thinking oh my gosh he's going to be grossed out. He didn't say anything, he obviously enjoyed it. Even after having sex, I was still naked and started walking around because after being so intimate and close with someone while having sex, you feel like they just know, you. You can feel comfortable around them because you have that connection. Please don't let this stop you from being intimate with a guy. TRUST ME, they won't even notice :) If you have any other questions, please ask!
|
|
Okay im truning 16 on august 3rd and i have never ever had my first kiss.nore have i dated anyone.i have opened my options to girls too.so im bisexual and still havent dated anyone or had my first kiss.is that something to be ashamed of? (link)
| |
Definitely not something to be ashamed of! I didn't have my first kiss until I was, 17 I believe. I've never had a boyfriend, or been in any kind of relationship and I'm not ashamed of it. I guess you could say I'm one of the "popular girls" if you want to put labels on people, and look at me! Of course I've turned down guys, and maybe I am afraid of committment but that doesn't change anything, I still haven't had a boyfriend. Sometimes people will bring it to attention, and people will be like yeah right you guys are lying! And I'm like no it's true. Don't ever be ashamed of yourself, you are just waiting for the right guy. :) Nothing wrong with that! If somebody makes a smart ass comment about it, just ignore it or laugh it off. Don't let it bother you, things will come around!
|
i'm always getting teased by my guyfriends for being "flat". i'm not FLAT, really. i'm just...small. i'm 17 years old, 5'6" tall, weigh around 110-112 lbs, and i'm still a 34-36B. i want to know if there is anything i could do to make my boobs develope quicker; any foods, exercises, etc?
thanks. (link)
| |
i'm 18, about the same height as you and weigh about 120 pounds and i'm about a 32B and guess what?? alot of guys think I have huge boobs probably BECAUSE I wear push-up bras. :) they do wonder's and I had to try that new Victorias Secret bra, the one thats suppose to add about two cup sizes, and I absolutely love it!! your guy friends will annoy the crap out of you, thats there job, haha seriously! thats what they will do, make fun of you but as you can see I have smaller boobs than you and some guys think I have big boobs ♥
|
|
Okay, I wear regular tampons.. And my period is getting heavier and heavier. Well I was going to try Super. But my friend was like that's going to hurt to pull it out(im a virgin & ive been fingered with only one finger so its not like i ever stick anything big up there) ahaha, well when i pull it out since it being filled and pufffed upp. Will it hurt if I wear Super? (link)
| |
I didn't know any better a few years ago and I used a super PLUS tampon, and it was completely fine .. hence I was a virgin and have never been fingered or anything before! so I think you'll be just fine. :) just make sure that your flow is heavy enough, because if you pull it out and there isn't much blood on there it might hurt a little. but I think you will be ok! ♥
|
15/f
sorry it's kind of long.
lets just put this out here: i consider myself to be 110% straight. i could never even CONSIDER being with another girl.
another thing, i have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. although i've had MANY opportunities to be in a relationship, i've passed them all up. i think i have commitment issues or something, or just a fear of being "trapped" in a relationship.
ONE more thing-i have WAY more guy friends then i do girl friends. I find girls...very annoying and over dramatic, and i try not to get involved in drama. My closest friends are girls, but i get along much better with guys.
anyways, lately, some of my guy friends have jokingly called me prude. they've also told me i was a lesbian. my closest guy friend ASKED in complete seriousness if i was a lesbian (his reason being because i hung out with my best friend alot, who is a girl).
if theres ONE thing i hate, it's being accused of something i'm not. being called a lesbian really makes me upset and angry, and i've made it clear to my buy friends. whenever it comes up, i get quiet or i tell them to knock it off. it's a touchy subject for me.
the other day, i was out to dinner with my mom and my sisters. i told my mom something that was surprising to her, and she says "why don't you just tell me your a lesbian and we'll be all set!" (she said this jokingly) i looked at her and i said "don't joke about that", my natural response. my moms smile fades and she goes "you aren't are you?" and i said "no mom..." and then she was quiet and i started to talk to my sister. when i looked back at her, she was studying me strangely and i asked her what was wrong and she says "you AREN'T, are you?" which made me angry, and i said "MOM, i can't BELIEVE you would even THINK something like that. of COURSE i'm not."
I'm so afraid my mom thinks i actually am a lesbian. because, i mean, it would make sense. never having a boyfriend and all that. my sister TOTALLY didnt help when she said "mom, just because she doesn't have any feelings for guys doesn't make her a lesbian." if there was ever a time i wanted to kill my sister, it would have been then.
It is SO untrue that i don't have feelings for guys. me and my best friend are BOY CRAZY. we think almost every guy we know is either cute or hot. and i have crushes on guys on a regular basis.
it feels like NO ONE (except my best friend) can understand how i feel about all this. it gives me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach worrying about why people would have to WONDER if i'm straight or not. i've NEVER done anything to make me seem like a lesbian other than the fact that i've never had a boyfriend (and that's more out of fear than no interest in it).
i just really need to know what to do.
please, DON'T give me the "it's OK to have feelings for girls" talk. because if i saw that i think i might cry in frusturation. i DO NOT have ANY feelings WHATSOEVER for stupid girls. thats why i asked this very long question.
it's not exactly something i can just ignore either. so i don't know if that's a good solution.
please, just reading this whole question and answering it with something would be greatly apreciated. it's a very frusturating and confusing situation and it makes me angry and sad.
thanks so much (link)
|
WOOOOOAH!!! i had a similar problem you will probably want to hear..
so i've never had an ACTUAL boyfriend before, i don't really bring boys around my family because they would make it such a big deal. i hang out with my guy cousin alot, and my uncle asked me if me and him were dating because he's the only guy my family sees me with. i was furiated, i said.. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? you have to be kidding me. and then my family is constantly nagging me asking me when i'm going to get a boyfriend and you know what i say?
when i find the right guy!! i just haven't found one yet so quit asking.
i think i feel the same way you do, im bascially scared to be in a relationship and actually have someone really care about me.. i don't think i would know what to do. sadly, all you can do is just ignore the fact that people ask if your a lesbian. you can say something like, "i'm not a lesbian, i just haven't found the right guy yet.." and if they keep teasing you, blow it off. it's hard .. i know. i go through it ALOT.
if you need more help with this, inbox it!! ♥
|
18/F
Long question, sorry.
I'm a freshman in college and struggled at first with meeting people when I first moved in, despite the fact that my roommate and I were very outgoing people in high school. A couple of months in, we began hanging out with our RA, Ally, because she knew everyone from my high school. Ally introduced us to her friends (also RAs) Joey and Jake. She also told me that she had a huge crush on Jake. Unable to help my feelings, I developed a strong crush on Jake over the past couple of months as well. At first, I layed low and tried not to get in the way for the sake of my friendship with Ally. However, Jake made it clear that he had no feelings for her whatsoever, and Ally started backing off as well. Although I didn't move in right away, I felt that since he had made it clear to Ally they were just friends, it was okay for me to open up a little more with him (concerning flirtyness).
Jake and I would always hang out...I would end up falling asleep on his futon due to the long hours we would spend just hanging out. We did nothing physical and didn't do any hardcore flirting. My roommate and some other friends also began to think he had a crush for me too. One day, when i was watching a TV show with Joey and Jake in Jake's room, he asked me to cuddle with him. First off, this is strange because he NEVER asks girls to cuddle with him. We cuddled all night, had tickle fights, and he randomly kissed my hand because he "hurt my feelings" (again, weird, because he never physically does things like that to girls). The next morning he was super adorable, we went to lunch together and he put his arm around me and was just really cute.
However, later that night he started acting strange towards me, and during the following week as well. It was hard talking to him and he hardly gave me any physical contact. It was just awkward being around him. I ended up spilling my heart to Joey about my feelings for Jake. Even though they are best friends, Joey still watches out for me. His best advice was for me to tell Jake how I feel. I just don't know how and when to do it...
I hung out with Jake again last night, with our friend Anthony. Jake ended up cuddling/falling asleep with me on the futon, despite the fact that he could have slept in his bed...he never EVER sleeps on his futon. I have not once ever seen him give up his bed for a futon. Then he kept mentioning a girl he "could" date, and I got jealous. He told me that he wouldn't date her because she's still in high school, and that he needed to find a good college girl. I said I needed to find a good college guy. Anthony said, "you two are laying right next to each other...", to which Jake responded (While cuddling) "oh but we're brother and sister..."
Everyone thinks he likes me but he's trying to convince himself otherwise. I don't know if he does, and I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or wait it out. And if I do talk to him, what would be said and how would I bring it up? Help with this situation please! (link)
|
I think you need to hear this story. :)
I can completely relate to this situation ... because I was like the Jake in my situation. I secretly had the biggest crush on my best guy friend, and every time someone would say something like "you two should just date!!" I would basically panic and it would be really awkward so i'd cover it up and say "nahhh we're just best friends. :)" and i'd also flirt with other guys in front of him, and also mention other guys, people ask why I do that? And the only thing I could say is to not be so obvious that I had feelings for him because I was too scared to find out how he really felt so I was fishing for answers.
He did flirt with me though, he cuddled with me, he cared about me but I also didn't know if it was just him being my best friend and feeling comfortable with me, or if he really did have feelings for me. To this day, everyone thinks we are going to get married, and guess what? I STILL haven't confessed my feelings for him, after TWO years and now he's going to be going off to college next year and I feel like i've lost my chance...
Your probably wondering, why is she telling me this?? Because I want you to tell him how you feel!! You won't have to keep wondering "what if" all the time like I did, for two years. Trust me, it's not a good feeling at all. I was and still am stuck on someone who will never know how I feel. Next time your cuddling with him, just ask him. Be like .... so Jake, do you really see me as your sister?? And then see what he says. You will be able to tell if he feels uncomfortable and trying to hide his feelings for you .. and if you feel like he does have feelings for you just flat out tell him how your feeling.
Please do this for me!! :) Good luck, let me know if you need anything else ♥
|
|
alright this is going to be a very long story so bear with me. Im a 16 year old female. Ive known this guy for a while now his name is collin. He lives three hours away from me. I NEVER got to see him at all until recently. THe first time i saw him was early september. For a little background information on our relationship. We have known each other for about a year now. When we first met we tried dating but it didnt work well for one we figured out id never be able to see him. So we broke up. We talked alot, well had phone sex alot.He started dating this girl named april and kind of stopped talkin to me a little but still wanted to have phone sex. I was like no. We didnt talke for a couple of weeks then started talking again. His friend aaron was always over there so we started talkin and got kinda close. He began filling me in on collin a little about how hes a big player and things of the sort. I didnt really care seeing it really wasnt my business anymore. Well collin kept talking to me but not all the time. We would go days even weeks without talking sometimes and most of the time i had to make the effort to call. HE IMed me first most of the time. We there got to be a point where me and aaron talked alot more than me and collin did. He told me that collin had said that all he had talked to me for was the phone sex. I was like oh okay. It hurt my feelings because I liked him alot. Over the months me and aaron talked, collin kind of backed off thinking that me and aaron had something goin on. Which in fact we didnt. Through talking with aaron I developed the theory that i was just being used and it fit together perfectly. Collin told me that he 'loved' me but i knew he didnt like really love me. I knew he liked me in some form. Well A few girlfriends later he finally decides to get a cell phone. HE texts my number and we talk a little bit, he asked for a picture of my downstairs. I was like alright hes single im single there is no harm. I talk to aaron two days later and fine out he indeed does have a girlfriend I got pissed. I called him up and asked if he had gotten the picture he was like no can you send another one. I told him no because he had a girlfriend and he freaked he was like how do you know i have a girlfriend. I told him not to worry about how i knew. I cussed him out and made it clear on what i was and that i wasnt about to be the girl on the side. He didnt say anything really. A couple weeks later the opportunity arose where i could finally go see him and aaron. I got in my car and drove up there. I saw aaron first and then went over to collins. When i got to collins He gave me a big fat kiss on the lips and a huge hug. It of course made me feel all warm and tingly inside. Keep in mind at this time he still had a girlfriend. We chilled for a few minutes and started to makeout. Then one thing lead to another and we ended having sex. I went home and we texted later. HE was like you really made me fall in love with you today. I thought was a bunch of bullshit because I still had that he's a player idea of him. SO i played a long a little. I was kicking my self in the ass for being so stupid as to sleep with him. The next day he texted me as soon as he got up and was bein all sweet and for three weeks after that talked to me non-stop and told me he was goin to step up and start talking to me more and paying more attention to me. He wanted to show that he really did care about me. Well during those three weeks i began planning to see him again.. HE still had a girlfriend throughout this. So i told him that if he even so much as wanted to hug me he would have to break up with her. HE got a little upset and we discussed it for a few days and he told me he would. WEll I didnt believe he would but i gave him the benifit of the doubt. So i went to see him, when i went over there it went how i expected it to, he gave me a hug and a kiss and about twenty minutes later we were at it again. After we were done he went to the bathroom and i looked at his phone. THat girl he was dating had texted him and it said 'i just dont understand why you broke up with me' so he really had broken up with her. It made me feel better and we pretty much screwed like jack rabbits that time i was there.We cuddled a bunch to and chilled some. Well after i went home that time he didnt talk to me as much as he did the first time. HE would call and stuff and text me but not like before. Which was fine. Well last week he barely talked to me at all. I talked to aaron and he had said that he had asked tesla back out. I got all upset but i asked collin about it and he was like no i didnt. We got into another small arguement about that last time I was up there and how i felt kinda like a piece of ass. HE got really upset at me and was like i cant believe you would even think that. Friday night i drove out to see him again. It went exactly like the last time. I got there we cuddled then screwed. He got up and got his phone because it was vibrating. Long behold it was tesla. I took a look at the text messages and they were all pretty much saying around the lines of why are you ignoreing me. She called twice within a half an hour. He got all irritated and was like she wont leave me alone. I looked at her staus on myspace and it said that she was all sad because she still loved her ex collin and she had messed it up. So it was true that he didnt ask her back out. Well we spent time together as usual and we screwed some more. Then went to bed. I had to get up early and leave. Well the only thing ive heard from him today was when i texted him to see if i left my shirt there and when he texted to see if i was home. When im over there we do have sex alot but we also spend alot of time not having sex and just talking. I dont know if its because we cant see each other that often so thats why we screw alot while im there or what. BUt im just worried that he's using me. I mean he really does care about me i know he does because he's offered for me to come live with him and his mom said i could. I cant obviously but anyway. Were not techiqually together but he called me his gurl when he was on the phone while i was there. He was like i cant man i got my gurl over here. Im not sure what they were talkin about. HE admits to me all the time that he is a nympho. I;m just confused about the situation mostly because everyone seems to be against him and is telling me these things now that turned out to be not true and i believe them because before i went to see him everything Aaron or anyone else said was true. Now collin tells me everything. Its just and ify situation for me because Im scared to trust him and get hurt, and i dont want to over react over the fact that he isnt talkin to me as often as the first time i went over there. I care about him alot, more than anyone before him. Ive lost many realtionships because of the simple fact that they knew i cared more about him. Now that we see each other its grown alot stronger for me. I miss the hell out of him already. So from your opinion what do u think. am i being used in anyway or is he sincere in everyway? if you need more info let me know (link)
|
this may be long, but i think you need to hear it!!
i have the BIGGEST trust issue anyone could ever have, which got me in some trouble. my best guy friend who i also liked had broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years. i then heard that he became some player with like 3 girls on the side. i was jealous, and instead of just asking him i assumed that what i had heard what right. this girl, sam that i heard he was talking to, he could do SO much better. well when i would hang out with him i would say stuff like, who are you texting SAM? how is your girl sam, i head your were sneaking around with her?? he kept telling me that it wasn't true and that he would tell me if i liked someone. i didn't believe him and kept nagging him about sam. turns out it just pushed him away and hurt his feelings that i didn't believe him. THEN this guy that likes me was trying to make up a lie about the guy i liked because he liked me. this time, i ended up asking my best friend if it was true and he said no. this just goes to show that people LIE, they make up rumors.
i'm very proud that you straight up asked collin what was going on with his girlfriend and said you felt just like a piece of ass. as i have experienced before, i believe aaron is just jealous of collin and likes you, so he is making up these lies that collin still has a girlfriend so you won't talk to him anymore and will go for him. i have a feeling if you keep nagging collin about his ex girlfriend and won't believe what he says, he will get fed up with it and move on. i don't want you to make the mistake i made about not believing someone who is telling the truth. you keep asking him about her, and he keeps telling you the same thing. don't you think he is telling you the truth? you even had proof that he broke up with that girl, you saw the texts. he just likes sex, nothing wrong with that :) and he also enjoys your company. i don't think he would want you to move in with him if he didnt sincerly like you. how annoying would that be having someone live with you that you didn't even like?? please believe collin, i truly think that he is telling you the truth.
i hope this helped somewhat. good luck hun! if you need anything else, or have any other questions, i've been through it all & just leave it in the inbox! ♥
|
So I'm still a virgin and it's kind of a big deal.
So, out of curiosity I was wondering when did you lose your virginity (what age you were) and how did it happen?
Give details please, not on the actual sex but on how it happened. For example, don't just say 'with my first boyfriend' or 'at a house party', say exactly how it happened.
And if you're still a virgin, would you please say so too and say your age and how you feel about losing your virginity? For example, do you think you're ready to? Do you want to? Why do you want to or why do you want to wait? Do you feel pressured?
Thanks, x (link)
| |
i love this question :) i'm 18 from Minnesota. female. still a virgin, yay! honestly, i love the reaction i get when asked how many times i've had sex and i say i'm still a virgin. people don't believe me, because of the way i look. you could say i'm the popular girl at school, but who cares! just because people expect me to be experienced doesn't mean i'm going to do something i'm not ready for. i've thought about doing it, a couple times, with the same guy. it never happened. i do love him, we're best friends, i can trust him with my life, but i still have my doubts. when i have sex, i don't want ANY doubts that it's the right guy. even though i don't think i'd regret doing it with my best friend because he's someone i can trust with everything i have, he's not the one i'm IN love with. he's not the one i can look at and say "that's him, hands down" if i'm doubting, there's NO doubt i'm not ready, and i'm fine with that. it gets really annoying when everyone starts talking about having sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend and then they look at me and say haha you wouldn't know! i'm on birth control, to regulate my period so it's nice knowing that when i do have sex i'll be protected. of course i'll make him wear a condom too. people respect me that i'm still a virgin, and i love that. people tell me all the time that they look up to me, and it makes me feel good. i don't have to worry about being pregnant, about getting emotionally hurt or about having regrets. i can live my life as a teenager, as a senior in high school without all these worries. i'm not saying i'm going to wait until i get married, it may be a possibility, but i'm definately waiting for someone who i'm in love with, and who i know won't hurt me. i'm not going to just give it up right away. sometimes i feel pressured, but i don't care. i don't let it get to me, i do what I want, not what others want :)
|
|
Well, I am a girl and I am 17 years old. I have know this guy for 6 years now and he has been there for me through everything. I literally can not live without him. I always call him my guardian angel. The other day i met one of his friends an we ended up making out. It was just a casual high school type of thing. Im young i like to have fun thats why i dont date to much. After i dropped off the guy my best friend grabbed me an kisses me. To me honest it was kinda like kissing my brother. Anyway we tried it again saturday an oh my god it was the best night of my life. Like iv never felt so strong for a guy. I just cant decide to follow through with this crazy connection, be causal friends who fool around, or go back to normal as fast as possible. We bolth dont have serious relationships ever! thats why im afraid we could both easily mess this up. But when someones your soul mate you just know (link)
| |
we all go through the decision of .. should we follow through with the feelings you have for a best friend? could it ruin the relationship if you two dated and ended up breaking up? maybe. could it be the best relationship you've ever had? most likely :) should you rush into things? definately not. i think you should pursue him, but don't rush into things. they always say that the best relationships is with the boy who is your best friend. why not take a chance? you don't want to keep wondering "what if" if you don't see what could happen between you two. if you like him more than a best friend, go for it. are you in love with your friendship or are you IN love with HIM? think about this before you make any moves. personally, i think it'd be a great relationship because your already comfortable around him and well the kiss .. says it all! go for it, no regrets! anymore questions, inbox! ♥
|
|