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so confusing.
15/f
sorry it's kind of long.
lets just put this out here: i consider myself to be 110% straight. i could never even CONSIDER being with another girl.
another thing, i have never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. although i've had MANY opportunities to be in a relationship, i've passed them all up. i think i have commitment issues or something, or just a fear of being "trapped" in a relationship.
ONE more thing-i have WAY more guy friends then i do girl friends. I find girls...very annoying and over dramatic, and i try not to get involved in drama. My closest friends are girls, but i get along much better with guys.
anyways, lately, some of my guy friends have jokingly called me prude. they've also told me i was a lesbian. my closest guy friend ASKED in complete seriousness if i was a lesbian (his reason being because i hung out with my best friend alot, who is a girl).
if theres ONE thing i hate, it's being accused of something i'm not. being called a lesbian really makes me upset and angry, and i've made it clear to my buy friends. whenever it comes up, i get quiet or i tell them to knock it off. it's a touchy subject for me.
the other day, i was out to dinner with my mom and my sisters. i told my mom something that was surprising to her, and she says "why don't you just tell me your a lesbian and we'll be all set!" (she said this jokingly) i looked at her and i said "don't joke about that", my natural response. my moms smile fades and she goes "you aren't are you?" and i said "no mom..." and then she was quiet and i started to talk to my sister. when i looked back at her, she was studying me strangely and i asked her what was wrong and she says "you AREN'T, are you?" which made me angry, and i said "MOM, i can't BELIEVE you would even THINK something like that. of COURSE i'm not."
I'm so afraid my mom thinks i actually am a lesbian. because, i mean, it would make sense. never having a boyfriend and all that. my sister TOTALLY didnt help when she said "mom, just because she doesn't have any feelings for guys doesn't make her a lesbian." if there was ever a time i wanted to kill my sister, it would have been then.
It is SO untrue that i don't have feelings for guys. me and my best friend are BOY CRAZY. we think almost every guy we know is either cute or hot. and i have crushes on guys on a regular basis.
it feels like NO ONE (except my best friend) can understand how i feel about all this. it gives me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach worrying about why people would have to WONDER if i'm straight or not. i've NEVER done anything to make me seem like a lesbian other than the fact that i've never had a boyfriend (and that's more out of fear than no interest in it).
i just really need to know what to do.
please, DON'T give me the "it's OK to have feelings for girls" talk. because if i saw that i think i might cry in frusturation. i DO NOT have ANY feelings WHATSOEVER for stupid girls. thats why i asked this very long question.
it's not exactly something i can just ignore either. so i don't know if that's a good solution.
please, just reading this whole question and answering it with something would be greatly apreciated. it's a very frusturating and confusing situation and it makes me angry and sad.
thanks so much
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Okay i am a heavily Involved Christian so no one has considered even asking if i was lesbian. So to keep it 110,i'm really not going to give you advice being like.... I know how you feel, because i don'. i am going to give you advice saying i i have close friends that have asked me dumb questions that they know the answer too. So if some of your close friends have asked you if your lesbian, and you have told them constantly that your not and they are still asking, then maybe you need to question how much they really are your friends. Because they should know u well enough to know when you say that your no, then you mean that your not. Maybe try finding more girl friends, so they aren't questioning you so much. With your mom and sister you need to have a serious sit down with them and tell them that you really don't like girls, and that you would apreciate them if they would stop asking. You can also have a sit down with your guy friends and tell them how it makes you feel when they question your sexuality. and you may be thinking, " you don't want to have a talk with them because they wont be serious, or something" but if you are a person who keeps it 110% then you need to keep it 110 with them. Another thing you can also do is if you have a crush on a guy, build up the nerve to ask him out, that will get people off your back. DONT EVER GO OUT WITH A GUY YOU DONT LIKE JUST TO PROVE A POINT. that wont end bad for you or the guy your dating. i hope this long behind paragraph will help u with your problems
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Hey I understand how y0u feel when you are being accused of something your not. Like you, I have never had a boyfriend in my life.. it's sad but that's how it is right? anyways,what I think you should do is talk more about boys in front of your guy friends. I do it all the time. They give me advices on what I should do too! Don't be scared of what they're going to say because only what you think is the one that matters.
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WOOOOOAH!!! i had a similar problem you will probably want to hear..
so i've never had an ACTUAL boyfriend before, i don't really bring boys around my family because they would make it such a big deal. i hang out with my guy cousin alot, and my uncle asked me if me and him were dating because he's the only guy my family sees me with. i was furiated, i said.. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? you have to be kidding me. and then my family is constantly nagging me asking me when i'm going to get a boyfriend and you know what i say?
when i find the right guy!! i just haven't found one yet so quit asking.
i think i feel the same way you do, im bascially scared to be in a relationship and actually have someone really care about me.. i don't think i would know what to do. sadly, all you can do is just ignore the fact that people ask if your a lesbian. you can say something like, "i'm not a lesbian, i just haven't found the right guy yet.." and if they keep teasing you, blow it off. it's hard .. i know. i go through it ALOT.
if you need more help with this, inbox it!! ♥
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OMG! i tottaly get where you are coming from,i understand how frustrating it is.....i think all this is putting too much pressure on you...My numba one advice is dont let anyone pressurize you in doing somthing you are not ok with.i get you are into guys but have some comitment issues,i used to be like that too...so dont go having a boyfriend when you arenot tottaly ready for it,just because you want to prove ur straight,i mean to hell with what anyone thinks,u know what u are and what you are not,so just go ahead with yourlyf and have a boyfriend when you are 100% okay......lemme kno what you think abwt my advyc.....nd how it wrks out!
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people just do it because they know it bothers you. thats why people make fun of people in the first place ! to get somethin out of them... your best guy friend prolly heard the jokes and just wanted to make sure. and your mom was joking.
but the way that YOU react to it makes you seem like a lesbian because you freak the hell out whenever someone mentions it. thats why youre guy friends keep makin fun of you, they think your reaction is funny !
im not sayin to go along with them callin you a lesbian, but i say just chill out ! learn to laugh it off and not think much of it, because if you know youre not gay thats all that should matter. dont worry about what everyone else thinks because obviously its stressin you out to a rediculous amount.
if you cant get over it, just tell your guy friends that youd really appreciate it if they stopped callin you that, it annoys you and youre sick of havin to defend yourself.
& dont worry, guys will come its just not your time hun !
good luck
x sweeethoney
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