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is he using me?
alright this is going to be a very long story so bear with me. Im a 16 year old female. Ive known this guy for a while now his name is collin. He lives three hours away from me. I NEVER got to see him at all until recently. THe first time i saw him was early september. For a little background information on our relationship. We have known each other for about a year now. When we first met we tried dating but it didnt work well for one we figured out id never be able to see him. So we broke up. We talked alot, well had phone sex alot.He started dating this girl named april and kind of stopped talkin to me a little but still wanted to have phone sex. I was like no. We didnt talke for a couple of weeks then started talking again. His friend aaron was always over there so we started talkin and got kinda close. He began filling me in on collin a little about how hes a big player and things of the sort. I didnt really care seeing it really wasnt my business anymore. Well collin kept talking to me but not all the time. We would go days even weeks without talking sometimes and most of the time i had to make the effort to call. HE IMed me first most of the time. We there got to be a point where me and aaron talked alot more than me and collin did. He told me that collin had said that all he had talked to me for was the phone sex. I was like oh okay. It hurt my feelings because I liked him alot. Over the months me and aaron talked, collin kind of backed off thinking that me and aaron had something goin on. Which in fact we didnt. Through talking with aaron I developed the theory that i was just being used and it fit together perfectly. Collin told me that he 'loved' me but i knew he didnt like really love me. I knew he liked me in some form. Well A few girlfriends later he finally decides to get a cell phone. HE texts my number and we talk a little bit, he asked for a picture of my downstairs. I was like alright hes single im single there is no harm. I talk to aaron two days later and fine out he indeed does have a girlfriend I got pissed. I called him up and asked if he had gotten the picture he was like no can you send another one. I told him no because he had a girlfriend and he freaked he was like how do you know i have a girlfriend. I told him not to worry about how i knew. I cussed him out and made it clear on what i was and that i wasnt about to be the girl on the side. He didnt say anything really. A couple weeks later the opportunity arose where i could finally go see him and aaron. I got in my car and drove up there. I saw aaron first and then went over to collins. When i got to collins He gave me a big fat kiss on the lips and a huge hug. It of course made me feel all warm and tingly inside. Keep in mind at this time he still had a girlfriend. We chilled for a few minutes and started to makeout. Then one thing lead to another and we ended having sex. I went home and we texted later. HE was like you really made me fall in love with you today. I thought was a bunch of bullshit because I still had that he's a player idea of him. SO i played a long a little. I was kicking my self in the ass for being so stupid as to sleep with him. The next day he texted me as soon as he got up and was bein all sweet and for three weeks after that talked to me non-stop and told me he was goin to step up and start talking to me more and paying more attention to me. He wanted to show that he really did care about me. Well during those three weeks i began planning to see him again.. HE still had a girlfriend throughout this. So i told him that if he even so much as wanted to hug me he would have to break up with her. HE got a little upset and we discussed it for a few days and he told me he would. WEll I didnt believe he would but i gave him the benifit of the doubt. So i went to see him, when i went over there it went how i expected it to, he gave me a hug and a kiss and about twenty minutes later we were at it again. After we were done he went to the bathroom and i looked at his phone. THat girl he was dating had texted him and it said 'i just dont understand why you broke up with me' so he really had broken up with her. It made me feel better and we pretty much screwed like jack rabbits that time i was there.We cuddled a bunch to and chilled some. Well after i went home that time he didnt talk to me as much as he did the first time. HE would call and stuff and text me but not like before. Which was fine. Well last week he barely talked to me at all. I talked to aaron and he had said that he had asked tesla back out. I got all upset but i asked collin about it and he was like no i didnt. We got into another small arguement about that last time I was up there and how i felt kinda like a piece of ass. HE got really upset at me and was like i cant believe you would even think that. Friday night i drove out to see him again. It went exactly like the last time. I got there we cuddled then screwed. He got up and got his phone because it was vibrating. Long behold it was tesla. I took a look at the text messages and they were all pretty much saying around the lines of why are you ignoreing me. She called twice within a half an hour. He got all irritated and was like she wont leave me alone. I looked at her staus on myspace and it said that she was all sad because she still loved her ex collin and she had messed it up. So it was true that he didnt ask her back out. Well we spent time together as usual and we screwed some more. Then went to bed. I had to get up early and leave. Well the only thing ive heard from him today was when i texted him to see if i left my shirt there and when he texted to see if i was home. When im over there we do have sex alot but we also spend alot of time not having sex and just talking. I dont know if its because we cant see each other that often so thats why we screw alot while im there or what. BUt im just worried that he's using me. I mean he really does care about me i know he does because he's offered for me to come live with him and his mom said i could. I cant obviously but anyway. Were not techiqually together but he called me his gurl when he was on the phone while i was there. He was like i cant man i got my gurl over here. Im not sure what they were talkin about. HE admits to me all the time that he is a nympho. I;m just confused about the situation mostly because everyone seems to be against him and is telling me these things now that turned out to be not true and i believe them because before i went to see him everything Aaron or anyone else said was true. Now collin tells me everything. Its just and ify situation for me because Im scared to trust him and get hurt, and i dont want to over react over the fact that he isnt talkin to me as often as the first time i went over there. I care about him alot, more than anyone before him. Ive lost many realtionships because of the simple fact that they knew i cared more about him. Now that we see each other its grown alot stronger for me. I miss the hell out of him already. So from your opinion what do u think. am i being used in anyway or is he sincere in everyway? if you need more info let me know
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this may be long, but i think you need to hear it!!
i have the BIGGEST trust issue anyone could ever have, which got me in some trouble. my best guy friend who i also liked had broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years. i then heard that he became some player with like 3 girls on the side. i was jealous, and instead of just asking him i assumed that what i had heard what right. this girl, sam that i heard he was talking to, he could do SO much better. well when i would hang out with him i would say stuff like, who are you texting SAM? how is your girl sam, i head your were sneaking around with her?? he kept telling me that it wasn't true and that he would tell me if i liked someone. i didn't believe him and kept nagging him about sam. turns out it just pushed him away and hurt his feelings that i didn't believe him. THEN this guy that likes me was trying to make up a lie about the guy i liked because he liked me. this time, i ended up asking my best friend if it was true and he said no. this just goes to show that people LIE, they make up rumors.
i'm very proud that you straight up asked collin what was going on with his girlfriend and said you felt just like a piece of ass. as i have experienced before, i believe aaron is just jealous of collin and likes you, so he is making up these lies that collin still has a girlfriend so you won't talk to him anymore and will go for him. i have a feeling if you keep nagging collin about his ex girlfriend and won't believe what he says, he will get fed up with it and move on. i don't want you to make the mistake i made about not believing someone who is telling the truth. you keep asking him about her, and he keeps telling you the same thing. don't you think he is telling you the truth? you even had proof that he broke up with that girl, you saw the texts. he just likes sex, nothing wrong with that :) and he also enjoys your company. i don't think he would want you to move in with him if he didnt sincerly like you. how annoying would that be having someone live with you that you didn't even like?? please believe collin, i truly think that he is telling you the truth.
i hope this helped somewhat. good luck hun! if you need anything else, or have any other questions, i've been through it all & just leave it in the inbox! ♥
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This is an extremely tricky situation, because you and Collin have so much distance between the two of you, there is most likely going to be some insecurity and doubts because you can't reassure each other like couples that are in constant contact.
I wouldn't be so sure of Aaron, are you positive he has no motive in telling you that Collin was involved with Tesla? Possibly he is attracted to you or he has some connection with Tesla, that you are unaware of.
I think Collin is trying to be sincere, but what I would consider doing is that the next time that you visit him, have some alone time, but find something to do where you can be around people. Go to the movies, the mall, anywhere so that you can see how he acts in public. It might solidify your feelings for him and reassure you that you and he are the real deal.
You can also, tell him how you feel and ask him if he wants what you want. i hope this helps.
Best Wishes!
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