Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10370
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Hi!
I'm 12 and I had back surgery 4 years ago, and I still do every 6 months for growing rods, and a part of my back (beneath my shoulder) is and has been numb, and I can't feel anything there. Is this serious? Also, will it go away? (link)
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Any kind of invasive surgery, that opens the skin that envelops us, will injure the underlying tissues. Nerves are usually affected by this - scars are often numb after an operation, at least for a whike. The skin over your back has had to deal with this repeatedly for some time, giving the nerves no time to recuperate. This is understandable as the focus is on improving the size and possibly shape of your upper body.
Given time off from operations and the opportunity to renew themselves, the nerves might grow back.
However, many people never do regain full feeling but consider some numbness acceptable when balanced by the improvement in health.
You could ask your surgeon for her/his opinion on the numbness, he/she's probably done many similar operations and knows the likelihood of nerve regrowth.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes x.
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My husband and I attended His brother's daughter's wedding. We are the very immediate family.All of my husband's brothers and sisters(also immediate family) and their spouses were seated at the front of the room at table 1 and 2 ,however we were assigned seats in the very back of the room.We were surprised and saddened by their choice to put us there. The whole family is very kind ,loving and religious.There are no problems between any of us, we really love all of them. We feel so hurt. Should we address this? If so ,Is there a polite way to do it?I am lost and so hurt. Thank You (link)
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If you have mer andspoken to the family since the wedding and they have seemed as usual, then I would think that they sat you at the back because there was no other suitable place for you to sit.
If you've spoken to them and sensed a tension between you, then perhaps their motive for seating you at the back was driven by something else/ Be careful though, its easy to sense tension in someone's manner, ask your husband for hus opinion too, he might see it differently.
Is there someone uou could speak to about this, someone who's connected with the family and might have picked up on something said about the seating arrangements involving you?
You could try saying how much you appreciated sitting at the back because it was so much cooler, or had a wonderful view of the gardens, or it was easier for you to be first outside for the photographs, something along those lines. Be casual as you say it, almost like a joke; someone might say 'we put you there because.....' and then you'll know!
Try not to take it too much to heart though, families can be funny things! You still have to live with them, whatever the reason was.
Hope this helps, if you DO find out why they sat you at the back,let me know? GOod luck + best wishes!
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My grandma,and my mom seems to think I have and eating disorder,but I know I don't.
I go days without eating,and feel fine.
But my mom and dad makes me eat something,cause they think I have an eating disorder.
When I do eat,I have puke it right back up.
I don't think I have an eating disorder,but they do.
Do I? (link)
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You don't mention how old you are, how much weight you've lost or whether you make yourself sick after eating, but these can be signs that you may have an eating disorder.
A human is able to live on very small amounts of food for some time, as long as they continue fluids, but they won't look or feel healthy or have much energy.
You can maintain a healthy weight for your age and frame without starving yourself or comiting all the time. If you feel you need to prove to your family that you are healthy, why not visit your doctor and explain the situation to him/her?
They can do tests and assessments which should either alleviate the problem or dismiss it.
Hope this helps, let me know how youget on?
Good luck, best wishes X.
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Im 13/f,and my parents disapprove of who I am.
I'm a HUGE lover of music,it's my life.
I LOVE bands/artist like :Escape the Fate,Falling in Reverse,D.R.U.G.S.,Black Veil Brides,Get Scared,My chemical romance,Asking alexandria,Bring me the horizon,Vampire's Everywhere,and bands of the metal,screamo,rock,and alternative music.
I love "dark things".My favorite color is black.
I'm always learning about cults,love vampire's,and things like that.
But,my parents disapprove of my "emo" lifestyle.
They say it's "demonic".
But that's just who I am.
They've tried taking that music away from me,and "making me normal".
I've told them this is who I am,but they don't wanna hear it.
Help! (link)
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You are who you are, only you could change that with any degree of lasting success. Your parents are in a state of panic because yoiu appear to be 'off the normal' range for youngsters of your age. They worry that as they perceive your musical tastes as bizarre and way-out, so will other people in the future, who might not employ you or whatever. This has happened since time began; the previous generation always thinks the following one is the worst behaved, oddest, least-likely-to-succeed-at-anything bunch of no-hopers ever. Even the Romans thought like this!
Your parents are thinking long-term, "How will you ever get a job with tastes like this?"
You, on the other hand, are 13; hard as it maybe to accept, your tastes may well change next week to classical music! Just as clothes, cars, food, holidays and all human life follow fashion so does music. Also, you're 13, when things change rapidly anyway. Many teenagers have piercings, dreadlocks, tattoos and other stuff when young but most lose interest in time, especially when looking for work. Employers tend to shy away from such frightening oddities as the above-mentioned.
So I'd tell your parents to give you time to be young, things will chagne as you get older and your tastes change. Ask them what fashion trends they followed as teenagers!
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes x.
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Im nine years old and im a girl how do i get someone to have sex with me (link)
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Although your brain tells you that you really want to have sex, your body is far too young to deal with it and the emotions that are involved. It can be a very cold act without those emotions for both involved, almost rape.
So not only do you have to wait for your body to develop a bit more. your mind has to as well.
You may have read questions on these pages from girls saying they've done the sex bit, now they really want the boy friend bit, emphasis on the friend. By playing with the boys in school, you'll learn about their gangs and games, things they like and hate, all useful stuff for when they get older and find girls attractive.
Girls develop quicker than boys, while you're looking for sex at 9, boys of your age are playing football, computer games and they usually loathe girls! So these boys are not an option anyway.Anyone older than you who agreed to have sex with a 9 year-old girl would rightly be labelled as perverted.
So, rather than trying to gallop ahead of your griends and be the first to have sex, slow down and enjoy your childhood, it goes all too fast and it's hard to go backwards later on.
If possible, have lots of sleepovers with your girlfriends, go and watch boys playing games in the park and laugh at all their silliness and generally have fun.
Schoolwork will soon be getting more intense so you'll have that to think about for a while. I think 14-16 years-old is about the average age to be thinking about sex(but not necessarily HAVING it!)
I realise all this may not be what you want to hear but you have to accept it, At 9 you are too young to deal with it. Do your parents know that you're searching for a sexual partner? I'd suggest you should talk it over with them if I thought they knew about it, but I'm hoping this is an attempt to get ahead of the girls who may be bragging about going with boys and doing various things with them. This is usually just talk, especially at your age.
I really hope this helps and you're able to stay a child for a few more years yet. Let me know how you get on and keep in touch if you need a chat?
Best wishes X.
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I'm M/16. For the last two years I've been lonely & depressed. I've been watching porn almost everyday after school for a long time. I read some articles on porn addiction. They basically described my life & mind. Selfish, always lusting, etc. I truly believe that if I can get rid of this addiction, I'll feel a lot better. But its been so impossible for me to quit during the past two years. I want to so badly but I basically get possessed at night. I'm not the same person anymore either. I used to do well in school but not anymore. I barely have any girls to talk to, I'm always nervous and tense around them, and I just recently ruined it with a girl I liked. Is there still hope for me? I'm hoping that if I stop ASAP, I'll slowly heal, but I'm not too optimistic anymore. I'm so dumb. I've been trying to fix this depression, and look for causes when all along the big problem is right in my face, right in my head. But I cannot get it out, it's killing me. I also feel like I'm too deep in to heal. (link)
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Like drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex, pornography can become an addiction. I think the best way to beat it is to take it very slowly and give yourself rewards for doing without it for increasinlgly longer periods of time. Make a list of rewards, things you really enjoy doing that are not connected with porn - a walk in the park, chatting with a girl, new clothes, playing football with friends, a night out.
Use the rewards as a 'bribe' to hold you away from the porn for half hour, building up slowly to a whole week without watching any porn at all! A big goal but one you can achieve if you really want to drop this addiction. You may need support so if you can think of a family member or friend who can talk you around from doing it again, that'll help.
I think the porn is what makes you uneasy and nervous when talking to girls. WHen watching porn you're treating girls as sex objects. When you meet them in person, you're unsure how to deal with them anymore. As you try to shake off this addiction, you could also try to find somewhere you could meet girls as friends in a relaxed atmosphere.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Keep in touch if you need further encouragement.
Best wishes x.
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So I have a disease.. Bulimia Nervosa... i've had it for around 4 or 5 years.. i'm not super skinny because i'm trying to get better.. but its soo hard to do this on my own.. my boyfriend tries to help but he doesn't know what i'm going through.. same with my friends.. they think i can just stop and everything will be ok.. i can't everytime i do i just start right back and keep doing it. My parents cant afford anything major so i haven't told them.. my boyfriend and best friend are the only people that know.. i don't know what to do.. its like one step forward and three steps back.. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME FIGHT THIS! (link)
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I think bulimia is an addiction like any other. It takes a long time to change habits and the best way, I think, is to take it a minute at a time. Make a list of rewards, an afternoon's shopping, a spa treatment, a good book, a night out with friends, new pair of shoes, a walk in the park - anything you really like to do that relaxes you and takes your mind off the craving.
Then if you manage a hour without making yourself sick, have a reward. A whole morning without thinking about doing anything bulimia-related would surely be a massive reward - a night out perhaps. By doing this, you'll start to associate relaxation and enjoyment with no bulimia and you'll have good memories to look back on too.
Hopefully, you'll gradually increase the amount of time between bulimic events, until it stops taking up all your waking thoughts and you can actually forget about it for a while.
I really hope this helps you, let me know how you get on? Keep in touch if you feel you need more help, I'm here to fight it with you. Take care of yourself. Best wishes X.
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Hi I am new to all this so I don't really no how works but I'm lookin for advice I'm sorta having an affair with someone he has a partner and a child I'm the single one but is he just using me or is there something there I have feelings for him but can't work out if he does me plz help xx (link)
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I've never been in your situation but your question saddens and annoys me in equal measure.
Every time I've heard of this kind of situation, the same things have been said and done by those concerned and it usually ends the same way - everyone gets hurt.
Men are human, with similar thoughts and emotions to women but they have different motives. Women crave affection, reliability and commitment; achieveing these would ensure that any children they have will have the security of two parents in a stable relationship. Men want affection, excitement and a sense of sexual freedom; this leads them to seek that freedom and excitement by settling with one woman for a while then moving on to someone else. These are massive generalisations of course; there are many people of both sexes who share the some or all of the traits of the opposite sex.
So, while your guy is with you, he may well mean exactly what he says, every word is heart-felt, but when he returns home to his partner, real life takes over, parental/partner responsibilities and necessities kick in and he's caught up with them.
I don't know any statistics of how many men actually leave one partner for a new one, but for you, I think it only means pain. How long can you stand on the sidelines, waiting for him to find a window to fit you in? Do you always want to be second-in-line to his primary partner and child? What if you get pregnant?
My advice is to drop him before you get too involved, and find yourself someone who will love and care for you and you alone.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Best wishes, x.
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i got my period two days ago i told my realmom but she doesnt live with me she lives eight states away so i have to tell my step mom insted how do i do it i dont feel comfertable talking to her about it. (link)
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Your stepmom is a woman. She's been through puberty herself and will probably recognise the signs of it in you soon, if she hasn't already. Just as you feel uncomfortable talking about it to her, so she may feel uncomfortable mentioning it to you, not knowing how you'll react.
You're both on new ground here, neither of you knows how the other will react; after all, you have a lot to lose if thid goes pear-shaped. But why would it? You've got a lot to gain too - a good friend who will help you through this, someone on your side when you need them is valuable.
Make it easy for her - leave a pack of sanitary towels/tampons out where you know she'll see them - makes it easier for her to ask you.
Keep telling people that childhood toys and games are not really your thing right now as you're growing up. Have a conversation with her about which celebrities you both fancy on TV. I think she'll get the message and hopefully you'll get to know each other better and become friends.
Hope this helps, keep in touch if you think I can help further. Let me know how you get on?
Best wishes x.
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Okay I'll try to make this short.
My friend and I have been friends for about 2 years now. In late September of 2011 her husband, her and I engaged in a threesome, then another one a week later. I visit their house about 2-3 times a week. Ever since the threesome her husband has been really flirty with me (but never in front of her.)
He makes out with me in their house when my friend is in the other room, when she goes to the bathroom he takes his penis out and puts my hand on it. I've given him oral sex about 7 times since September, but never anything more.
Another thing he does is we chat on facebook and have pretty inappropriate conversations about sex and 'things we would like to do to each other.'
I want this to stop, after all, he is my Best Friends husband. I get that this isn't his fault, I am also involved. I'm just nervous to tell him that I want to stop, and I don't know how, so I guess that's what I'm looking for advice on. Also, I don't know whether or not I should tell her.
Has anybody ever been in a similar situation where they engaged in sexual activity with their friends partner? I get that what I have done is a VERY bad thing, now I'm just looking for advice on how to rectify the situation.
So... Do I tell her? and How do I tell him that I want to stop without messing up the friendship that he and I have?
Thank you.
(link)
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This is some situation!
When you had the threesome thing, it was sort of an unwritten contract between you, everyone knew what was happening. Now, you and her husband have decided to do your own thing, apparently without his wife's knowledge. If I were her, I'd consider this a breach of the contract between yourwelf and her and also an abuse of trust between you all.
Whatever you do, you risk losing one or both of them as friend/lover and being very hurt yourself.
I'd get out now, as cleanly as possible, with as few people hurt as possible. If you decide to try this kind of relationship again, try to arrange it that everyone knows who's doing what, where and when to avoid a similar mess to the one you're in now.
Hope this helps, keep in touch and let me know how you get on? Best wishes.
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OK I'm a 15 year old female and my bf won't stop beating I broke up with him and its getting a lot worse I have to call the polese to get him to stop pleas help me I'll take any advice. (link)
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I think you are too young to handle this on your own. Is there anyone who can help you escape from this guy? No-one deserves to be beaten, whatever they're supposed to have done. You need to get away from him now, before it gets too hard to get out.
Could you ask the police for advice? At 15, you're still a minor, under legal protection from such rough treatment. I don't know what's available where you live but can you find someone to listen take you serio?sly? Family, friends, teachers, doctors, asdvice workers - whoever, get the information out there so someone knows what's happening to you then get away from him. He's no boyfriend, just a bully looking for a target.
Hope this helps, keep in touch of you think I can help further? Take care of yourself and good luck.
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Female 16
One of my school mates is leaving for college. For some reason I really don't want het to go. She is a year older than me, and we also play basketball together. We're not like the best of friends either. I love her for evrything she has done to help me with basketball, but we're just not that close. I feel emotional every time I think about her leaving. I don't know why I feel this way, but if u can tell me or tell me how to cope that would be great (link)
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This girl sounds as if she has put herself out to help you with basketball and it's only natural that you should appreciate and admire her for that. It's always heartwarming to find a person who is willing to help someone with no thought of payback.
When someone you like moves away, it can feel like a bereavement, when someone dies. They are gone, often by choice, as with your friend going to college. I'm sure you wouldn't want her to miss out on the opportunities and choices for her future life that she may find there, but its still hard to accept her going.
There are a few things you can do to maintain a link with her during her absence, especially in these days of improved communications. Telephones, emails. webcams and even visits to her college are all possibilities to explore. For example, you could invite her to a game you're playing in, see how your play is improving, make suggestions for improvements; you could follow a team you both support, go to games together, write blogs on their progress.
Ask her if she wants to keep in touch, if so, you could swap email addresses and go from there. SHe might appreciate another link from home, but you should be prepared for her to be overwhelmed by the busy social life she might find there.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on, keep in touch if you need further help/advice?
Best wishes x.
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When just about everything and anything has gone wrong in life. What is the point in going on. When all you find is saddness and despair all the time (link)
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I think the point of living is to live the best life you can, even under difficult circumstances. It's the only chance of life we'll get. Even in the worst possible situation, there's always hope for tomorrow, it's up to us to make it good.SSomebosy said if you do everything you can to change a situation and nothing works out right, the only thing you can do is change the way you look at it.
This isn't the best answer in the world but it's all I've got, hope it helps. Let me know how you get on, keep in touch if you feel I can help further. Take care of yourself x.
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I am 15 years old and girl obviously. Anyways, im feeling weird lately because im really confused about my sexuality. I dont know, I find guys attractive and ive onlt ever had one boyfriend, but that doesnt matter. Then again whenever i think about any of "you know", im thinking about girls. And i think about girls when i masterbate. However i cant tell if i am interested in girls, because there are a few girls i find extremely hot but i dont know if i could ever actual date one or kiss one. Im confused! Anyone help? (link)
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I think. like most 15 year-olds, you're exploring some of the possibilities of life. As long as you're straight and careful with the people you get involved with, there shouldn't be many problems.
Whatever, don't consider yourself as abnormal in any way. There are more people like you than not, you are on the range of normal, even if you are lesbian or bi-sexual.
Hope this helps a bit, let me know how you get on? Good luck x.
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what does it called when having sex whith 5 people (link)
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Annything with more than the standard two people involved would be an orgy?
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my wife is shedding blood clots every time she urinates can it affect sexual life or fertility? (link)
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I think you should encourage your wife to visit a doctor, as soon as possible. The sooner she is seen by a doctor, the earlier this can be sorted out with the least effects on her general health.
Passing blood clots when urinating is not a normal bodily function. It could be linked to her bladder, kidneys or the connecting tubes, or could originate in the reproductive system, ie. the vagina, uterus, ovaries or fallopian tubes.
Hope this helps, let me know how you both get on?
Good luck.
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Well hey everyone!(:
This is going to happen tomorrow night! So please answer(:
So my really good guy friend said he wanted to have sex with me. He's been flirting a lot lately and has asked a lot. I'm 14 and he's 15 but we have been friends forever! He said cause its a new year I should do something new?! So I agreed and all cause he's nice and stuff and like we've been friends for a while and idk if he's gonna get mad if I say no or something. He also wouldn't stop asking. I'm just worried I won't know what to do cause I'm a virgin and he's not. He said not to use a condom. So can I get pregnant? I don't think I want a baby! That'd be bad. I don't think I can get pregnant because I have two weeks until my period and I heard its the worst time to get pregnant or something. I am also really petite so I don't think I would be able to like have the baby. He also said because its my first time I can't get pregnant. Will I bleed? I don't want to cause I'm scared of blood! Will it hurt during and after? Please answer(: Any other tips/advice/help would be great! I don't know lots about this haha! Thanks!
Thank yaa all(: Please answer(: Don't be rude! (link)
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This guy is pushing for sex, he doesn't really mind if its you or another girl, just as long as you're willing enough to go along with his goal. He has no interest in you at all.
Yes, you could get pregnant, you could also get an STD as well, which could make you infertile. You could get emotionally hurt by him too, believing that because you've had sex together, he loves you. If he loved you, he'd wait until it was right for both of you to have sex, not bully you into it.
I think you already know what kind of answers you're likely to get. I'm not being rude, but this guy is controlled by his hormones. In 10 years he might have grown up enough to appreciate sex within a loving relationship, as it should be. Until then, I'd give him a very wide berth.
Hope this helps, let me know how. you get? Take care of yourself and good luck
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Okay so. There's this guy, he's a year older than me. I'm only 13 so my feelings are just a crappy pile of stuff. I haven't seen him yet but he texts me, a lot. He calls me darling and those stuff and loves saying the words "Will you go out with me?" over and over again. I'm confused of what he wants from me because he always compliments me as "beautiful" and begs me not to leave him. I tried asking him what point he's explaining but all he said was to go "bonding" and stuff. He's a guy, i'm a girl. He's got an ex and i'm afraid i'll be one of them soon. WHAT DO I DOO?
P.s. I rate according to what you deserve. (link)
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I think you take this relationship very slowly, as slowly as you feel comfortable with. After all, you haven't even met him in person! Texts can be very difficult to read sometimes, we can read different things into them very easily, not knowing the person who sends it makes it even harder.
If you decide to meet him, could it be somewhere you needn't be alone with him if you son't want to? A party or picnic with friends of your own age
perhaps, for your security; even if he is above board, it can help to have friends around on a first date, keep the conversation flowing.
You don't say if your parents are aware of your text-friendship with this boy, it would be a good idea to keep them informaed in case something goes wrong.
Meanwhile, I'd keep my options open, continue with your normal life, enjoy yourself with your friends as you usually do, go out with other boys if you really want to.
This next bit might be something you don't want to hear but its important you know the risks you might be facing if you meet this boy. Don't tie yourself down to anything with him until you know more about him and his motives. Possibly he is what he says, a young boy looking for friendship and/or love.
He could just as easily be a 33 year-old man with an unhealthy interest in young girls.
I hope this helps, let me know how you get on? Please be careful and good luck x.
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im addicted to pot.
im not ur average pothead. im a girl and look normal. i have friends and im extremly normal i just LOVE weed. all my frineds know it. i dont buy pounds like extreme addictes do but i try to have a gram on my at all times and i just alwyas smoke whenevr I can. I smoke so many times a day , everyday. i dont know what it means how why i do it and i want to stop but i enjoy it. the downfall is that i gained a lot of weight.
it got so bad that i brought weed with me when i was babysitting 2 kids and i smoked inside the familys house.
no one knows when i do things that shady but i dont know what to do because i love weed, its not killing me and i love the feelong but i waste money on it, gaiend weight and cant be without it.
what it mean?
what i do?
thanks people! (link)
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I could have criedwhen I read your question. Not because you're a 'pothead' or anything to do with that really, but because being so badly addicted to something that you have to keep some on you at all times is SO sad. I firmly believe that such addictions are life-wasting as everything is used up in pursuit of the object of addiction, whether it's gambling, sex, drugs, attention, whatever.
I know nothing about what effects this amount of drug wil have on your body and/or mind, but the fact that it is occupying your whole lifestyle means that you are missing so many other things that could be of true worth, playing with those children, for example instead of taking pot, reading them a story or playing board games.
How long it will take you to break this habit is difficult to assess, your whole life would have to change, friend and family relationships, how you soend your free time and with whom. It'll be a long hard road to get off those things, but surely worth it, to be able to look at life and know its real, not deformed by the veil of drugs over your mind. I sound like an old-time preacher, which I'm not. I do think unnecessary drugs are a waste of energy, time and effort.
I really hope this helps, although I think you already know it anyway, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for .....? Exactly what are you asking for?
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on? I'd rreally love to hear you were turning your life around to something worthwhile for your sake.
Take care of yourself and keep in touch?
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This is completely embarrassing to ask, but my boyfriend when we have sex seems to like to stick his finger into my butt and now it is EXTREMELY sore and when I use the bathroom it has like a horrible pain that I just can't really describe that almost made me cry. I don't know if it is just sore from him messing with it or if it's something different. (link)
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If you've only had this anal pain since your boyfriend started fingering it, it's reasonable to think he's caused it. Possibly one of his nails has scratched the skin and caused a laceration or irritation. The only way to be sure is to see your doctor for advice. Embarrassing I know, but the only way to get it sorted.
The only way I know of stopping it happening again, if you don't like the experience, is to tell him to stop doing it. There are many ways of enjoying sex but if one partner is being hurt by an action of the other, it's not working.
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
Good luck x.
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