A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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=) thank you so much for giving me the advice on my "boyfriend vs. bestfriend" question... and I hope you still remember the question,,,
well,, I'm still a bit worried about my boyfriend,, because well, he's already thought about the future and all... after all, in few months, he's going to medical school and I'm gonna go off to college few months afterwards... he's already talked to his and my parents about his plan to marry me after we finish our study,,, well he'll finish later on since he's taking med, so he's thinking in 6 years we'll get married.. and that's been his goal in life... to marry me, then continue his study to become pediatric and have kids etc etc.. I think if I break up with him,,, I ruin his dreams and everything... because when he chose his university he said, "i chose this because it wouldnt take that long for me to graduate.. so I won't make you wait for me that long..." and the pressure adds on as my parents are completely on his side... is there any way that I don't hurt all of them severely if I want to end this relationship? (link)
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Its not at all uncommon for people to graduate high school thinking they were going to get married and not. It sounds like your boyfriend has always been more into you than you've been into him, I gather this from the way you talked about "his plans to marry you" instead of "our plans to marry each other"
It sounds like you love the guy, but "in love" is questionable and you definitely aren't the one making marriage overtures.
Your parents will get over it. Period. Its your life and your decisions, and I can promise you that the one thing you WILL regret is getting married so that your family isn't disappointed.
You're 18 or younger. You don't need to be thinking about getting married and "life plans", you shouldn't even be expected to know what you want to do with your own life yet, much less who you want to spend the rest of that life with. I can understand why you're hesitant, I'd feel a bit trapped too if I was your age with a girl going into medical school and telling me "we're getting married as soon as I'm done"
This is one of those cases where I honestly can't give you good "soften the blow" advice. Its going to suck, period. But from your two posts I can tell you're dedicated to this, you jumped right into getting away from the boyfriend. Remember your own instinctive reaction to this, you're running like hell. There's a reason for that, and that reason is you know somewhere that the current situation is not one you're happy with. The way you talked about it just says so much to me "and thats been his goal in life... to marry me"
You sound like someone who wants an equal, someone who is your partner, and not your worshipful loving boyfriend. I get that, I'm married to my best friend as well, and while we became best friends over the course of the relationship, the bottom line of it is that we can and do talk to each other about everything, we fight, but we deal with it pretty damn well, and everything is better. Friendship becomes a shit ton more important when you live with someone and see them every day, have to sleep next to them every night.
My suggestion is simple. Tell everyone that you're young, you don't want to be thinking about marriage right now, you want to be thinking about school and your own future. You obviously feel pressured right now, and you need to spend time focusing on you and figuring out what YOU want out of your life, and you can't be with someone who's making plans with your parents to marry you on his own timeframe when you aren't sure what or where you'll want to be in a few years.
Don't jump right in with the best friend. Take some space and think for a while. Get your own head on straight and spend some more time figuring yourself out. You seem like the kind of person who tries very hard to make people around her happy, and who gets pleasure out of making others around her smile. People like that have to be careful, because the trap is that its entirely possible to worry too much about others and not enough about yourself.
Focus on yourself more. Not your boyfriend, or your best friend, but on you. What do YOU want? Where do YOU want to be in a year. Fuck EVERYONE else, just focus on you and think about it for a while.
If you'd like to talk more, feel free to send me more. Next time you do though, I want some of your own thoughts on you. I want a bit more perspective on who you are, what you like, and what you want out of your own life (even if its just the beginning thoughts of "maybe this"). If your boyfriend wasn't in the picture at all (and neither was the best friend) what would you be doing with your life?
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I have a really awesome guy best friend who is like a big brother figure for me. He is like my guide, he always waits for me in every class and after school, he makes sure I'm alright, and he spends his free time with me... people always comment on how inseparable we are. Lately, he's been very attached and I get confused. My boyfriend and I are currently on stage where we're unsure about where we stand at the moment. Because he was away for few weeks and when he came back, I realized how I just felt much more comfortable with my best friend than with him. During the time my boyfriend was away, my best friend acted as if taking over his place; he'd do things my boyfriend would do for me [except all the hugs and holding hands etc] My best girlfriend starts worrying now, she thinks he has feelings for me,,, and since I've always prioritized my friendship over romantic relationship, she's afraid I'll make bad move... and now I've been dreaming about my best friend instead of my boyfriend.. and I am confused now... I don't even know to whom my loyalty and love are with at the moment... but I know that if my best friend loves me, then I'll leave my boyfriend and try to give him my heart. because I'm willing to do anything for my best friend... but then again I'm scared... what if he really has feelings for me? what if I do have feelings for him too? Am I really ready to leave my good relationship for this if it really is there? Because if I make a bad move, things won't go well since we all will end up in same area for college... (link)
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Your best friend is in love with you, and has been for a while. He is your best friend solely because of how he feels for you. Guys do this, when we can't figure out how to get a girl to fall for us we just befriend her and look for better opportunities.
He is also probably aware of your stance on friendship over anything else, so he's trying to find the right way to approach you so as not to fail.
Decisions like this suck. They do. Its all the worse because your boyfriend is apparently not a bad boyfriend, and you like him too.
I've literally been sitting here for 10 minutes. I've got my own decision, I usually don't stick my nose in this far, but I think you should give your best friend a shot.
I think this for many, many reasons. First of which is that you've expressed that you're more into the best friend in a compatibility way. I think your best friend will make you happier in the long run and do more for you, because its already effortless.
Friendship in relationships is important. More important than you'll probably realize for years. My wife is my best friend, and if she weren't we'd be heading towards those divorce statistics you see so often. Everyone has issues, no matter how well you get along with someone you will fight with them. Being friends gives you something positive to use to solve issues between you two, and it makes problems that another couple might see as impassable simply routine for you.
Second, you're 14. There's a pretty high chance you won't end up marrying either of these guys. By pretty high I mean like more than 99%. In a case where you really aren't meant to take anything too seriously, do what you want.
And what you want is obviously the best friend, you're just unsure of his feelings. So let me say again, if a guy becomes your best friend in the world and he is not head over heels for another girl(you'd know), he is in love with you, or he's gay.
How to deal with the situation? If you choose to go with the friend, be honest with the guy. Its going to hurt, there's nothing you can do about that. So just be kind, and let him know that you're not doing this because he failed, you're doing this because you care a ton for two people, but if you don't take this chance you will always wonder.
Apologize for hurting him, tell him that you want to be friends, and you still care for him, but you can understand if he doesn't want to be around you right now and you'll respect his wishes if he wants you to stay away.
If you treat him like a human being who has your respect, it softens the blow a lot. If he gets angry, keep your cool and let him vent, and just apologize again and walk away.
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Hello
I don’t know what to do. I’m 25 and have been dating my girlfriend for over two years now. She is in graduate school and has a big test this January. For Christmas my parents wanted to surprise me with a week long cruise in early January for me to go on with my parents and girlfriend. This was supposed to be a surprise and I only know about this cruise because my girlfriend told me. Originally it worked out so that my girlfriend was able to go with us because her test was scheduled in March. Now that her test has been moved to January, and if she misses this she will be kicked out of the program, it doesn’t sound like she will be able to go. My girlfriend doesn’t want me to go on the cruise and leave her while she is taking this test.
I feel like that I’m in a loose/loose situation. If I turn down the cruise I hurt my parents and if I go I hurt my girlfriend. I feel like each side is pulling at me and its unfair to me. It's unfair for my parents to make plans for me with out my knowledge (which I can’t even talk to them about because I’m not supposed to know) and unfair for my girlfriend to ask me not to go, to give up my present. I’m very confused and don’t know what to do… Please help with any advice. Thank you.
(link)
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Tell your parents you found out and have it moved.
Your girlfriend and a test that whatever program she has in grad school relies on is more fun than a trip.
Does it suck? Yeah. It always sucks when you're in a shitty decision situation that you did nothing to bring about. But stick with your girl and be there to support her, its obviously important to her. Talk to your parents, if they can reschedule they can reschedule, if they can't then tell them to try to get a refund. Better to save them money now if you can, or reschedule, than to play dumb and just let everything get really fucked up. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and all that.
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hey
mm i was just wondering what scents do guys like on girls??I know odd question but i just wonder what would my bf like lol thanks! (link)
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Pick something subtle and light, something you can wear all the time that's noticeable but not ever present.
As someone said below, people make smell associations if a smell is around a person on a regular basis. Wear whatever your smell regularly and people will think of you when they smell it.
Its entertaining once you've been doing it a while, I'm a guy, so my "smell association" is pipe tobacco. Everyone I know who smells it thinks of me.
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Well, I where makeup most of the time, I wonder if my bf likes it or not? Do you guys like your girl friends with or without makeup? Or wat? He never told me not to wear it, so i dont think he minds it. thankss (link)
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I'm a guy, and honestly unless you go overboard or put no effort into your appearance, we don't notice that much. When in doubt, less is more.
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what does weed do to you? like i know all of the short term effects and stuff but what about the long term effects? and do you get addicted like you would when smoking cigarettes? (link)
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Nikki is a complete idiot spouting things she has no idea about, but the link below her is fairly accurate, it not a little biased.
So. Weed.
Short term effects you know, but lets cover it again to make sure. Obviously, intoxication is a side effect. It lowers reaction time and overall thinking speed, while acting as a stimulant on your physical body. It also has some slight reactions with the creative centers of the brain, which is why musicians and artists are so often pot smokers.
Weed is not at all chemically addictive, however it can be as habitually addictive as any other activity (video games being an easy example of a common habitial addiction). Essentially, you get used to being stoned all the time, and it takes time to adjust to functioning normally.
Long term, the possible side effects are few and far between. Weed causes absolutely no brain damage whatsoever, and THC is in no way dangerous to the body. In fact, of all the possible drugs out there, weed is one of the few that it is physically impossible to overdose on. If five people sit down, one with weed, one with alcohol, one with coke, one with heroin, and one with ecstasy, and all of them start consuming as fast as they are able, every single one of them except the pot smoker would be dead within a few hours, and the pot smoker will eventually stop because he got hungry and stumble off to find some fast food (possibly causing a fatal car accident along the way)
Any smoked substance contains toxins and chemicals, but it is actually patentedly false that weed is worse than cigarettes. The majority of chemicals present in weed are actually heavy chemical pesticides used to keep animals and bugs away from crops, these chemicals are present because they are cheap and easy to obtain, which is necessary for an illegal grow operation.
Essentially, weed is 10x worse for you because its illegal.
Other than tar from smoking, there are no serious long term side effects from smoking weed, and the average amount of pot smoked per day by a chronic user doesn't even touch the amount of cigarettes smoked by a chronic smoker.
So, less smoked, less chemicals, no nicotine, etc.
So what are the actual dangers of weed.
Namely, that habitual addiction, and especially when talking about young adults, teens, and preteens. A habitual addiction essentially means that you replace a necessary part of your life with something. The most common thing replaced by something like weed is emotional maturity. Weed depresses the emotional spectrum slightly and essentially has a calming effect on pretty much all emotion when high. Now, if someone is living a high stress life, it can be tempting to use Weed to calm down.
So you do. And the next day, and the next day. Soon you've been high for two months and haven't dealt with anything emotionally the entire time. Then six months, then a few years.
Suddenly, you have to stop. You haven't grown up emotionally the slightest bit, because you used weed to avoid learning to deal with your shit and your sadness and anger by yourself.
This is about the most common trap kids fall into, and is the reason why we set age limits on consumption of intoxicants. Basically, because you haven't learned to be a functional adult, and developing an addiction can impede, stop, or damage that process. Its important for people to learn to be fully functional adults on their own, and when chemicals are needed to handle things we've got doctors to tell us when.
Weed is in every way except illegality a better, safer intoxicant than any other you will ever have access to in your life. Which, in a way, makes it that much more dangerous, because once you're high its easy to say "well being high isn't hurting me" and its easy to let your life slip by the wayside because you didn't care enough and weed gave you that extra bit of "I really just don't give a damn about anything, cause I'm high and its fun" that lets you sit on your ass and do nothing, if you're so inclined.
Its not the weed that destroys your life, the same as its not the alcohol or the WoW or work or school. Its your own tendencies to want to avoid facing painful situations and sadness, or even just boredom that can lead you into finding something (including weed) to use to escape everything.
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how old do you have to be to buy condoms or is there an age limit for buying condoms at all? If there is is there any other way I can get them without stealing them? (link)
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If you're really embarassed, go to wal mart and take the condoms through the self check line with ten other items at 2 am. Condoms are not an age restricted item, but don't be surprised if you're 14 and get eyed for buying a twelve pack. Young people and sex will be a touchy subject for as long as the world has parents.
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My moms friend is going to build me a computer for my graduation present and I need to know what to tell him to put in it. what should I have that makes the computer better? (link)
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First, if you can get one ordered instead of built, do that. But if its built or no computer, then ask for the following.
-i5 processor
-3 or more Gigabytes of 1600 Megahertz ram
-Western Digital Caviar Black 640 Gigabyte Hard Drive (trust me, its about the best on the market right now)
- The best ATI Radeon Video card you can get for a hundred dollars (plus or minus ten)
That alone will be enough computer to run anything, the rest he can figure out for himself. Though, if he's ordering all of the parts online and you'd like to drop me a message, I can send you an actual link to a cart with everything you'd probably need to make a nice quiet computer.
You need to figure out your budget, then what you want, then try to fit the two together. If you drop me a line, see if you can get your mom to give you an idea of how much you have to spend, you could probably pay somewhere between eight hundred and twelve hundred and get a really great computer that will last you quite a while.
But, I also can't help but say that a Dell laptop with accident protection is a sweet deal. They cover drops and spills, you can literally tell them that you dropped your laptop off a building and they'll fix it or replace it. Coverage like that for three years is worth the extra cost of having one built for you.
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why can't we have halogen lamps in dorm rooms? (link)
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Because you could fall asleep with the lights on after smoking some of the weed you use them to grow, and set fire to your dorm room. You'd burn alive and lay there for a day or two before anyone actually noticed, which is bad for insurance and freshman attendance.
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In my psychology class we trade tests, and someone random grades it. I was going over my test to see what I got wrong for my final thats coming up, and realized a bonus question was counted wrong. The answer I wrote on the bonus question was identical to what we'd written in our notes/the correct answer. My grader counted it wrong, and that question is worth 5 points.
I got an 89 on this test, and if i'd gotten a 90, i'd be able to exempt the final. well, if my answer had been counted right, i would have a 94, therefore being able to exempt the final. the thing is, we took this exam on sept 23, and i only noticed now when reviewing for my final.
do you think its worth showing my teacher, and trying to get the extra points? thank you! (link)
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Its worth a try, expect them not to believe you, but being exempt from a final is always a worthy goal to pursue.
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so me and my boyfriend had sex on wednesday the 18th protected. then like an hour later, he put it in for like 10 seconds unprotected and pulled out really fast and said "i could feel it start to come out but i know it didnt" and i could tell it didnt too. i was supposed to start yesterday (the 20th) but didnt, which is fine cause my schedule isnt completely set and is always a few days early or late. but i was wondering, since we had sex only 2 days before my period was supposed to start and we both know he didnt cum inside me, is there anyway i could be pregnant? please dont be mean to me abouot this, i really am nervous already. thank you:)
ps, im 16/f. (link)
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It is possible. Wait until you've missed a your period by more than a week, take a test. If its positive, call a doctor, if its negative, take another test in another week to make sure.
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hi, today i just found out that i got a job at the sports authority. the only problem is im being subjected to a drug test on this coming monday. the last time i smoked marijuana was exactly 7 days ago. I am a frequent user but this past month i have not been smoking as often as usual. (lately only 1 to 2 times per week) I bought cranberry juice (not cranberry cocktail) and i went to the vitamin shoppe and bought Herbal Clean Q Carbo maximum strength detox. Do any of you have any tips on when i should drink this product and what else i could do to prepare for my drug test? Also, if i pee less than the amount they need me to and claim i cant go to the bathroom will that also help me pass the test? (link)
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Lets say your test is at 10 am monday. I'd be up at 7 am drinking the detox stuff. You aren't going to be able to actually clean your system out, but with preparation you might have a half a shot.
Drink your stuff by 7:30 and start with the diuretics, coffee, Dr. Pepper, anything with caffeine. Ideally you piss three times before your test. Once when you wake up before you drink, and twice after you drink the detox stuff. Your goal is that number four is the test. By then, your body has had plenty of time to cycle urine.
Don't eat anything, and if you like black coffee I highly recommend drinking that and only that before the test, but soft drinks will work. The less you give your body to process, the slower your metabolism, the less of anything but water there will be when you take your test.
Avoiding the test won't work, they will reschedule or not hire you.
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The man I want to marry wants a prenup. He has been married 2 times before and both of his wifes left him. He says that I dont trust him but doesnt a prenup say that he doesnt trust me to? (link)
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By that same logic, your desire to not sight a pre-nup would make you a gold digging whore.
A what a pre-nup really says is "I'm not entering into this marriage to get anything but a partner" as a pre-nup means you can't profit by taking someone else's shit if you decide to leave.
And the guy's been dumped twice. Give him a hand in unwinding and be willing to do something that will make him feel secure.
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I'm in love with my professor and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. We've become pretty close over the past few years and I want to move for something more.
I have already considered the consequences associated with this, but I've decided to go ahead anyways. I will not have any further classes with him and there is no university policy banning relationships. I don't really feel the need to defend myself here, but I'd really like helpful advice on this question, so it might be interesting to know that my counselor and I are in agreement that this professor and I are a good match.
I'm going to tell him how I feel about him, but I'm not sure exactly how to say it. He's pretty reserved, kind of shy. He's older, very calm, but I think being very straightforward would make him uncomfortable. I've worked with him quite a bit and we have wonderful conversations, but they're usually started off on something related to school before they go tangent.
So I guess I'm just wondering - how should I bring it up? What should I say? Should I approach him in his office (he's there late after hours often, so I could do it without running the risk of being overheard), or should I ask him to go for a coffee? Should I be straightforward or more creative (more direct signs that I like him without actually coming out and saying it)?
Any advice you can give would be very much appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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Once you're out of his class, you're an adult and he's an adult, so it doesn't matter. If there aren't going to be issues with the university, then whatever.
However.
You are probably under 21 and he is probably over 35. That is a pretty huge age gap, and guys his age who go for girls your age go there for a reason, usually having to do with serious maturity issues that make them more compatible with someone barely out of teenage hood (or not even past it yet). If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. If I'm not and the gap is there, then approach this relationship slowly and calmly, don't throw yourself into love this quickly. I guarantee that this guy isn't stars over the rainbow for you yet, guys old enough to be professors don't fall in love that fast unless they have the maturity issues I mentioned, otherwise they're going to act more evaluative, be interested but wait until you're actually dating to decide to let himself fall, etc.
So what do you do? You approach him one on one and tell him you'd like him to take you out and get coffee and you'd like to leave the labels "student" and "teacher" behind for the night. Leave the "L" word at home for a few months.
Bottom line, you're a girl, and if he likes you he'll be receptive. Men are alot easier to entice than women, we don't play the games you do.
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Can weed kill you?
Like besides cancer. Can you OD on it??
Cheers. (link)
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No.
There is thusfar no direct evidence linking weed to any side effects besides being intoxicated and the short term memory issues that come from difficulty with concentrating on anything while high.
It is physically impossible to smoke enough THC to overdose. Also, cancer from tobacco is thought to come partially from the radioactive pesticides and fertilizers they use to cultivate tobacco crops. Weed is not grown with these.
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you see, one of my best friends like this guy. let's call him johnny. well, one of johnny's guy friends who i am really good friends with told me a month or so ago that johnny likes me. my friend always thinks the guy she likes likes me, and to have one guy ACTUALLY like me would kill her. it's weird to ask this, but i need to get him NOT to like me, or my friend will be crushed forever. she will never let me talk to the guy she likes again. helpppppp. (link)
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Give him subtle encouragement in her direction. Talk her up in front of him, tell him she thinks he's cute, etc. Guys are usually pretty oblivious, and he might well have no idea she likes him. If you don't like him, thats your best course.
Best case scenario, you misdirect his interest, you send your own "I don't like you, don't chase me" signals, and hopefully your friend notices or finds out that when she's not around you tell the guy he should be interested in her.
Talking behind someone's back isn't always bad.
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Hi,
I'm 14 and my parents are divorced and i really want to go live with my mother in Jefferson City Missouri because i absolutely hate my high school. Everyone there is mean and ive been pushed down stairs and people yell at me and i hate the people there. So i was thinking i really dont want to go to another public school. do you know of any good alternative type schools in JC????? I really need help because im gonna go nuts if i have to go back to that school. I have like 3 friends and i have no classes with them and so it really sucks. im doing pretty well in school so i just think i could go to an alternative or online type school and get the same education. and if i went to an alternative school, could i get into the same colleges or would they not accept me???????? Provide any information you can because again i really really need help trying to figure this out (link)
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God yes, change schools.
Most people don't keep touch with more than one or two people from high school to any significant degree. You're in a bad situation, and changing schools gives you a fresh start now. Since socially none of this matters later, all that really matters is now. As long as you're doing good in school, do whatever the hell you want socially, high school is nothing but practice for the real world with a hell of alot less consequences.
Leave and put it behind you. Forget you ever went there, and if people ask why you changed schools just blame your parents moving and you not wanting to commute or something equally boring, don't tell everyone at your new school about all the bad shit.
Fresh slate, and all that.
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Why does my man always need to know everything that I do? I have a cellphone that I bought and he wants to know every minute who I am talking to and what I text when I text. He wont let me go out or have any friends. I am just expected to sit home and wait til he gets home from events in his life. Is this love or he loves to control women? He did this with his ex and now me. I didnt know that he was like this. He is the same way as when I am on the internet. I have to even let him know when I have to pee or take a shit!!!
(link)
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You aren't going to tolerate this much longer, do everyone a favor and break it off now. Look at it this way, a guy this controlling is going to freak out and do some pretty stupid shit trying to get you back or force you back. The longer you date, the more he gets invested in you, the worse that freak out is going to be.
End it now and hopefully you can save yourself 6 months of stalking and a restraining order.
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Theres a guy at my school who likes me hes not the best looking but hes ok hes a little cute hes muscular but not to much and hes a really nice guy. The types i like are goths emos and skaters but hes neither a while ago his friends who are my friends too told me he likes me hes my friend now and now my admirer is used to talking to me i can tell he still likes me and yea he even tries to show off how strong he is and tries to be funny.....So should i give him a chance? (link)
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I want you to save this and read it in a decade, so you can laugh at how stupid "The types I like are goths emos and skaters" sounds.
In the mean time, yes.
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18/m
My girlfriend and I have been together for a year or so. I knew her for a year before things became "official" so to speak. She lives a few states away. We've had great chemistry ever since we met. that first year and up until almost 6 months ago, we hadn't spent much time together in person but last July I went and spent 8 days with her and her family and things became 100x better than they had been. I realized I loved her when I realized that I wanted her to be the best she could be, I wanted her to be safe, I wanted her to be happy no matter what. She has said the same for me and I love her very much. I definitely could see spending the rest of my life with her.
About a month ago I just out of nowhere couldn't feel the excitement I had felt when I thought about her. I felt kind of lonely, but after praying about it and pushing away the feeling away, I felt just in love with her as I had been before. a week later, the same feeling came. I was on the phone with her and I just started crying. I don't know where it came from. I'm not a big crier but I just couldn't stop. I felt so empty, as if I didn't know how to love her anymore. I was frightened that the next time I see her (december 26th) I wont know how to love her or how to be excited.
Its been about a month now of off and on of this feeling. but this weekend has by far been the worst ever. I DONT WANT TO LOOSE THIS GIRL! I love her so much, but lately I just haven't been able to be happy.
Is it just stress? is it just that I miss her? I've never felt so bad in my life. She by far is the most amazing girl I have ever met. but right now I just cant seem to be excited about her. Im so lost. Help me! (link)
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You cannot stay connected to someone you cannot see. Sorry, but thats fact and its unchangeable. You feel nothing because you've begun detaching from her in order to not feel the fact that she isn't there as badly.
Its a natural human method for dealing with stress and loneliness. The good times fade unless you've got something to refresh them, and phone/email/aim doesn't substitute for seeing someone, looking in their eyes, being able to touch them, etc. People just can't stay connected that way.
You'll see her, and most likely everything will snap back for a few months, and then it will get harder and harder, and you'll end up where you are. This is why distance rarely works, its very difficult to have a strong relationship with someone you don't see that often unless the relationship was already there in the first place.
You want to stay with her? You have to be able to see her more often. You probably live at home with parents, so you can't control that. This means you can't really make this work for yourself.
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