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To go away or not
Hello
I don’t know what to do. I’m 25 and have been dating my girlfriend for over two years now. She is in graduate school and has a big test this January. For Christmas my parents wanted to surprise me with a week long cruise in early January for me to go on with my parents and girlfriend. This was supposed to be a surprise and I only know about this cruise because my girlfriend told me. Originally it worked out so that my girlfriend was able to go with us because her test was scheduled in March. Now that her test has been moved to January, and if she misses this she will be kicked out of the program, it doesn’t sound like she will be able to go. My girlfriend doesn’t want me to go on the cruise and leave her while she is taking this test.
I feel like that I’m in a loose/loose situation. If I turn down the cruise I hurt my parents and if I go I hurt my girlfriend. I feel like each side is pulling at me and its unfair to me. It's unfair for my parents to make plans for me with out my knowledge (which I can’t even talk to them about because I’m not supposed to know) and unfair for my girlfriend to ask me not to go, to give up my present. I’m very confused and don’t know what to do… Please help with any advice. Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Tell your parents you found out and have it moved.
Your girlfriend and a test that whatever program she has in grad school relies on is more fun than a trip.
Does it suck? Yeah. It always sucks when you're in a shitty decision situation that you did nothing to bring about. But stick with your girl and be there to support her, its obviously important to her. Talk to your parents, if they can reschedule they can reschedule, if they can't then tell them to try to get a refund. Better to save them money now if you can, or reschedule, than to play dumb and just let everything get really fucked up. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and all that.
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Do what feels right to you i think you should stay with your girlfriend seeing as if she misses
the test the consequence will be that she gets kicked out of the program i think that's more serious then the cruise is there will always be many chances to go on crusies and vacations in the future possiblity be loyal and dependable for
your girlfriend and not go seeing as she didn't want you too :)
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You need to use your words.
What is unfair is you not speaking up and discussing this problem and your stress with the people around you.
First off, your parents.
Sure, you shouldn't know about the present, but you do, and if they haven't already been told that the new exam date will conflict with the cruise, they deserve to be told. After all, they bought the present, not just for you, but for your girlfriend as well. The information that she might not be able to go is very relevant to them. They deserve to hear it, from her, if not from you.
I'm sure your parents would be much more annoyed by thier money being wasted, then by you knowing about a suprise. They'd be crazy not to be.
Deal with that problem first, before you try to deal with your girlfriend's expectations. It's possible the problem can be solved with a rebooking fee.
Look for solutions to problems through honesty and openness. Don't obessess and block yourself off from possible solutions.
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