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prenuptual agreement
The man I want to marry wants a prenup. He has been married 2 times before and both of his wifes left him. He says that I dont trust him but doesnt a prenup say that he doesnt trust me to?
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By that same logic, your desire to not sight a pre-nup would make you a gold digging whore.
A what a pre-nup really says is "I'm not entering into this marriage to get anything but a partner" as a pre-nup means you can't profit by taking someone else's shit if you decide to leave.
And the guy's been dumped twice. Give him a hand in unwinding and be willing to do something that will make him feel secure.
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The man has been dumped twice. He has a history of losing. I can understand how he wouldn't be very trusting. I guess if you are intent on marrying someone with his history & aren't after material gains, you sign the prenup and get on with it.
Personally, I think a relationship that begins with no trust between the couple is destined to fail. But I am old & old-fashioned.
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I'm going to tell you what my grandmother told me. "Honey, if a man wants you to sign a prenup when you get married, he expects things to fall apart." I believe this, whereas if a man does not want you to sign a prenup, he is marrying you for your love, rather than if he'll keep all his things when you leave.
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No. It means you are mature, respectful adults who acknowledge that marriage is, among all those other wonderful things, a contract. And you are going to be intelligent and precise about that contract.
In signing a pre-nup, you'd be respecting his past and the priorities it's given him, not admiting he doesn't trust you. Everyone thinks thier marriage is going to last forever, and in today's world, most of them are wrong. It's prefectly rationally to prepare for that possibility.
But instead of just being a passive participant and accepting whatever paper he puts in front of you, be active and informed. Read a book. Consult a lawyer. Ask about the kind of pre-nup that doesn’t just protect the money of the man (as I assume that’s his main concern) but also respects the contributions that a women might make to a partnership that aren't nessicarily finacial, like putting her career on hold for child rearing or relocating to live closer to his place of work.
Understand what you are signing and contribute to creating it. Togeather you can build a document you both feel is fair would be respectful of your partnership, should it come to an end.
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