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Boyfriend vs. Bestfriend
I have a really awesome guy best friend who is like a big brother figure for me. He is like my guide, he always waits for me in every class and after school, he makes sure I'm alright, and he spends his free time with me... people always comment on how inseparable we are. Lately, he's been very attached and I get confused. My boyfriend and I are currently on stage where we're unsure about where we stand at the moment. Because he was away for few weeks and when he came back, I realized how I just felt much more comfortable with my best friend than with him. During the time my boyfriend was away, my best friend acted as if taking over his place; he'd do things my boyfriend would do for me [except all the hugs and holding hands etc] My best girlfriend starts worrying now, she thinks he has feelings for me,,, and since I've always prioritized my friendship over romantic relationship, she's afraid I'll make bad move... and now I've been dreaming about my best friend instead of my boyfriend.. and I am confused now... I don't even know to whom my loyalty and love are with at the moment... but I know that if my best friend loves me, then I'll leave my boyfriend and try to give him my heart. because I'm willing to do anything for my best friend... but then again I'm scared... what if he really has feelings for me? what if I do have feelings for him too? Am I really ready to leave my good relationship for this if it really is there? Because if I make a bad move, things won't go well since we all will end up in same area for college...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hey =)
Well before you do anything with your best friend, figure out where you and your boyfriend stand. Remember that you are still in a relationship no matter what guy, close or not, you still have a boyfriend. You dont wanna end up doing something you may regret, so the smartest thing to do now is figure out what you and your boyfriend want to do and how you guys feel. Depending on what you guys figure out, will then let you know what your next move should be.
If you still feel confused about your friend after, then be honest about it. Tell your friend how you feel, if you dont you may end up with all these unanswered questions and confused about your current relationship. But dont hurt or upset your boyfriend in the process.
Hope i helped and good luck!
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Your best friend is in love with you, and has been for a while. He is your best friend solely because of how he feels for you. Guys do this, when we can't figure out how to get a girl to fall for us we just befriend her and look for better opportunities.
He is also probably aware of your stance on friendship over anything else, so he's trying to find the right way to approach you so as not to fail.
Decisions like this suck. They do. Its all the worse because your boyfriend is apparently not a bad boyfriend, and you like him too.
I've literally been sitting here for 10 minutes. I've got my own decision, I usually don't stick my nose in this far, but I think you should give your best friend a shot.
I think this for many, many reasons. First of which is that you've expressed that you're more into the best friend in a compatibility way. I think your best friend will make you happier in the long run and do more for you, because its already effortless.
Friendship in relationships is important. More important than you'll probably realize for years. My wife is my best friend, and if she weren't we'd be heading towards those divorce statistics you see so often. Everyone has issues, no matter how well you get along with someone you will fight with them. Being friends gives you something positive to use to solve issues between you two, and it makes problems that another couple might see as impassable simply routine for you.
Second, you're 14. There's a pretty high chance you won't end up marrying either of these guys. By pretty high I mean like more than 99%. In a case where you really aren't meant to take anything too seriously, do what you want.
And what you want is obviously the best friend, you're just unsure of his feelings. So let me say again, if a guy becomes your best friend in the world and he is not head over heels for another girl(you'd know), he is in love with you, or he's gay.
How to deal with the situation? If you choose to go with the friend, be honest with the guy. Its going to hurt, there's nothing you can do about that. So just be kind, and let him know that you're not doing this because he failed, you're doing this because you care a ton for two people, but if you don't take this chance you will always wonder.
Apologize for hurting him, tell him that you want to be friends, and you still care for him, but you can understand if he doesn't want to be around you right now and you'll respect his wishes if he wants you to stay away.
If you treat him like a human being who has your respect, it softens the blow a lot. If he gets angry, keep your cool and let him vent, and just apologize again and walk away.
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