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Q: Is hot water and hand/body soap enough to kill nasty bacteria living on my makeup brushes, sponges, and mascara wands? If not, does anyone have any suggestions on what IS good enough?

Brushes can be cleaned with soap and water and they'll be fine. As for the other things, they're really not that expensive, you should probably throw them out. Especially mascara wands! If you've got any of those more than about six months old, get rid of them.

Q: Do all shirts shrink in the wash?? If so how do you stop it?

Thanks

Shirts tend to shrink more in the dryer than the washer. You can reduce it by using warm or cool water, and then drying them on low heat or just hanging them up to dry.

Q: hello, well i have very serve anxiety disorder to the point where i need anxiety medication aka depression medication....i wanted to know what are the side effects and is it ok to drink alchol on them...im pretty young 16 and im very little 5'2 100 pounds....if that makes a difference....im not sure what medication im getting but i heard the side effects are all pretty much the same
thanks

You should probably avoid alcohol because you're 16, not because you're on depression medication, but it'd be a good idea to talk with your doctor or pharmacist because different medications have different interactions. One thing I do know is that many depression medications will flat out kill you if mixed with certain drugs, like ecstacy, so be careful. Drugs are bad no matter who you are but they're worse if you're taking depressions meds.

Q: I'm worried sick.
My boyfriend has herpes and he has little red dots that look like pimples around his mouth and well I just found out he had herpes. I kisseddd him, many times! I went home and looked in the mirror and there was little red dots around my mouth. Is it herpes? How do I tell? AHH HELP PLEASE! I'm so scareed. Please hellp! Thankss.

the only way to tell whether you have herpes is by getting a blood test from your doctor.

Q: 15/f

My school requires me to fulfill 24 community hours. I have only 3 and the hours are due by the end of January, but I don't know what to do for them. I got the three hours from camp, but it was from pulling weeds. PS it needs to be supervised like I can't go to the beach myself without anyone and clean it up and put that, it has to be through some function or organization

so basically what is a way to get more communtiy serivice hours I was thinking of an animal shelter but I'm too young for that.
PS. don't say babysitting please
thanks so much and I would love you if you could help.

I'm surprised your school hasn't given you more resources! When it comes to just getting hours, I think it's easiest to call United Way or red cross or some big organization like that and offer to stuff envelopes. they'll probably be thrilled to have you and you won't get dirty or have to babysit!

Q: I am very confused about my political standpoint, but it is something that i need to decide on. How do i know if i am a republican or democrat? Are democrats the same as liberals? Are republicans conservative? How do I determine which one I am.

This quiz is pretty good, it asks you how you feel on certain issues, then tells you where you generally stand.
http://www.self-gov.org/quiz.html

Most people are conservative on some issues, liberal on others. For example, I think it's wrong that my state outlawed gay marriage, that makes me a liberal. But I also wish the federal government would lower taxes and spend money more responsibly, that makes me a conservative. Both major political parties have done a bad job of incorporating liberal/conservative ideals lately... the democrats had the white house for eight years and never passed a health care plan, which is insane, because that's a big priority for us liberals. The republicans have been in power since then, and the national deficit is HUGE, which is wrong, because conservatives value fiscal responsibility.

So don't worry too much about figuring out what party to be in. When I registered to vote, I registered republican because most people in my state are republican and this way I can vote in the primaries (there are very few democrat primaries in Kansas, because there are so few democrats). Do I vote republican? Rarely, any more. But I'm with the party on a few things, and I'm hoping that they got a wake-up call this past election and they'll stop being such morons.

Q: I've recently started dating this great guy. The problem is, he's black and I'm white. I'm against racism to the full extent and so is my mom, but my dad and brother don't feel the same. I know they won't accept this guy and I'm afraid to bring him home. My dad will look down on me and I hate feeling bad for liking such an amazing guy. What am I supposed to do? (18/F)

don't let it bother you, some people are just stuck in the 1950s (or 1850s, as it may seem). If anything, my advice to you would be to always keep dating minorities until your dad and brother get used to it and aren't jerks about it anymore.

Q: I'm totally fed up of people borrowing money from me. My family gives me money to run the house and family(grandma, mother, brother).
My mother is #1 borrower. We have babysitter and she doesn't work but right now she owes me $1500! She doesn't even have the money to give me and I have about $300 to run the house for the rest of the month!
Then my friends they make me buy stuff saying they'll pay me back and they never do! I'm fed up and ready to take a stand.
HOW DO I GEt BACK THe MONEY from:
my mother &&&&
My friends?

You should never lend friends and family money, because of situations like this, it makes the relationships bad. You should either give them money, or don't give them money. If you've got extra money, it's nice to give it to friends and family, but don't expect it back. If you don't have extra money, tell them that! Make a budget, and decide how much you need for groceries and other basic stuff, and then if you've only got enough money to make the budget that month, don't give any money away.

Your mother is not going to pay you back, sorry to say it, and neither are your friends, you'll just have to realize the relationships are worth more than that, count your losses and move on.

Q: My friend went to college and basically failed out. I am really worried about his future. He has been out of college for a year. I think he should go to a community college at first to help him transition better, but I don't think he'll be up for it. How can I convince him to give college another shot [besides saying that he won't make any money]?

I hate to say this, but not everybody is made for college. I knew several people who flunked out... college takes more than just intelligence, you have to be self-motivated, and you have to want that degree. There are plenty of jobs for people who didn't go to college, he's not going to starve to death or anything. And who knows, maybe in a few years he'll find that motivation to go back. Until then just be a friend and encourage him to work hard at whatever he's working at, and it'll be okay.

Q: I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS). I get a tingling sensation in my right hand several times a day, I am not able to handle certain objects, or I'll get a stabbing sensation in my hand. I also get tingling sensations in my fingers, too. When I am writing, my hand hurts so bad I can't even use my hand, and my grip with the pencil or pen decreases. I also have to wake up at night, and shake my hand for the tingling sensations to go away. I even have to do this several times a day.

I do work at a job where I have to use my dominant (right) hand a lot, so I am sure that is how I get these symptoms. However, even taking a vacation from the job and going back won't help. OTC treatments like aleve, tylenol, and icy hot won't do at all.

Is there a potential possibility (or maybe a real possibility) that I have CTS? If so, what are some at home treatments, and ways to convince my parents I need a visit to the Doctor's?

Thanks in advance!

Of course there's a possibility, but you might try exercises like this first:
http://www.eatonhand.com/hw/ctexercise.htm

Chances are, if you go to a doctor, they'll recommend physical therapy for a while before surgery or anything major (and you'll appreciate it). So it'd be good to tell them "I've been doing exercises, and nothing helped, now I think there's a problem" when you go in.

Q: In the grocery store I see coffee filters that are "unbleached" and "bleached". What's the difference between the two (except for the color, of course)? Are there advantages and disadvantages between the two? If so, what are they?

I don't get the purpose for the bleached and unbleached, so please explain.

Dumb, I know.. but I have been pondering this for awhile.

Thanks in advance!

Basically they make unbleached ones because there's been a big movement lately for things to be more natural. I go for unbleached. There's no difference in terms of filtering or coffee that comes out of them or anything, it's just that some people like everything around them pretty and white, and historically coffee filters have always been white and lots of people don't like to switch, so they'll always sell both kinds. I just figure if I can reduce one more annoying unnecessary chemical process going on in the world to day, I might as well.

Q: my relatives and parents are asking me what i want for christmas! i really dont know what to ask for.. im already getting gift certificates, money, and clothes from so many people i dont need any more of that stuff.... im already asking for makeup, and a coach purse for christmas. i have an ipod and im getting 5 ipod giftcards already so im good. i wanna get a psp or ps2, what do you think is better? i just need ideas of things to ask for. i have a cell phone, i just got a new computer, i have tons of movies and music and stuff. christmas is coming around and i dont want to have to make a christmas list at the list minute. what are you guys asking for christmas?? i need lots of ideas, lists and websites are good.

Ask for a water buffalo.

http://www.heifer.org/

It might not be as fun for you as ps2, but it'll change the life of an asian subsistence farmer, and you can tell your friends you got a water buffalo for Christmas!

Q: I'm torn and at a loss. I'm very close friends with a married couple. The husband has become like my brother. He's very protective of me and has been there for me more than I could ever ask for. I go to church with him, his wife, kids, and his parents. Well, a little over a year ago me and my fiance broke up and I got into the whole partying scene with his wife. One night, this guy was over at their house and she was prancing in front of this guy in a short tshirt and thongs. I ignored it. Then at this party a month or so later, a bunch of us were playing poker and it turned into strip poker. I quit, but she continued playing (she was the only woman playing). She was sitting in a guy's lap and the only thing she was down to was her thongs and cowboy hat. I felt this alone was cheating. Well, things went a little further that night and she told me that her and him kissed. But I feel it may have went further than that. They continued calling each other for a week or so after this happened. I urged her to stop. She'd admit that it was bad, but she would continue. So, I backed off and got back in church. This summer we started hanging out again, and before I know it - I'm pulled right back into the same situation - knowing and seeing her mess with this guy. I've recently found out that she's been with a few more guys that I know. It's so hard for me - I want to tell her husband so bad because it's unfair to him. But I've vowed to stay out of it.

More bad news...I've fallen for her husband hard. Feelings I've never felt before, I'm feeling for him. Sometimes the way he looks at me and talks to me - I feel he may feel the same way. My mom believes he feels feelings for me also but he's trying so hard to make his marriage work. His mother has made comments to me and my mom before that she wishes he would have met me before his current wife because he would date me in a heartbeat. I've backed off from him because I know I don't need to feel the way I do. But he'll call me or will come see me and I just break down b/c it hurts so much. I just dont know what to do. Can someone help me and steer me into a direction that's right? I don't feel I'm in a position to be a homewrecker...

Do not be a homewrecker, you'll never forgive yourself. If a marriage is already over and a guy wants to be with you, that's one thing, but if he's trying hard to make it work and you're around, doing anything, you could be the element that makes it all fall apart. Is that what you want yourself to be?

Forget him and leave and quit spending time with him, he's MARRIED! You should never be alone with him if his wife isn't there. You should not concern yourself with his wife's actions, they're none of your business. Yes, men and women can be friends and help each other out but the second feelings come up on either side, that friendship element is null and void.

I can tell that you're one of those people who wants to believe in marriage, and so even if you're not THE factor that breaks it up, playing a role in it will eat you alive. Don't put yourself through all that.

Q: If you dont have cable, can you get tivo??

Yup! We've got it, and it's awesome, we didn't have to do anything different. It's a great way to make good use of the six channels we get :)

Q: In the past month and a half, sometimes when my fiance eats pizza, his lips swell up to about 3 times their normal size a few hours afterwards. It starts in one corner on one lip and slowly travels all the way around until everything is completely swollen. He says that it feels kind of numb. We get Benadryl and he takes 2, but it doesn't seem to help at all. It's just his lips. He's never had any problems like this in the past and we're not getting pizza from new places or anything. I know he needs to see a doctor about it, that's not what I'm asking. I'm just really interested in how this could have happened. Does anybody have any ideas about what could be causing this? Are they putting some kind of new ingredient or spice in pizza now? Could he have developed an allergy to something at age 21? Has anything like this happened to anyone before? Thanks.

If it's just some swelling, I don't even think you need to go to a doctor, they can't do much anyway. If he ever notices his throat swelling up or has difficulty breathing, then that's different, he should see a doctor to get a prescription for emergency medications that will stop that sort of thing. But I think allergists just make you go through expensive tests that don't tell you anything, it's annoying.

The only really good way to tell what he's allergic to is to try stuff. Try different pizza toppings, different pizza places, if he only reacts to certain locations ask them what's different about their pizza. Order pizza without sauce. I know it sounds annoying and sort of expensive, but it's a lot cheaper than the doctors. Pizza spices haven't changed much in 50 years, and different chains use very different combinations, so the allergy is something he's developed and you should work to nail it down.

Q: I recently got a new job; however, I’m making approximately $400 less, a month. I have a car payment of $343 and would much rather rid myself of the car payment then have to move my 7–year–old son and myself into a small apartment. Currently, I rent an awesome home and am tied into a lease anyway.

My dilemma is that I really do like my 2002 Chrysler and I’m very afraid if I sell it, which just thinking about going thru that hassle is enough of a deterrent, that what I’ll be able to afford to buy, might be something that isn’t as dependable. I have roughly $1500-$2000k that I can allot towards a used vehicle, such as a Honda perhaps. I thought maybe it might be best to dump the $1500-2000 onto the pb of my loan (I owe $9,800) and maybe with income tax pay it down even more.

I’m a single parent and need reliable transportation…something that’ll get me from point A to point B ok.

My credit sucks as I’ve consider refinancing; however I don’t know that I’d even qualify.

For some reason, I’m just extremely indecisive about what is best to do for me and my family. Any advise would be most welcomed.

Thank you.

I'd go talk to a dealer, discuss options, and see what you could get for trade-in on the Chrysler. $343 a month is a pretty heavy car payment if you ask me... I bought a little focus that was very dependable for $200 a month, for only three years. I mean, if you've only got a year of payments left on the Chrysler, than by all means keep it, but any more than that I think you should look at other options.

Q: It seems a few fanatics are taking over the office. It doesn't seem to matter what anyone else wants- if one of these nuts goes in to complain that they are "offended" then the rest of us have to comply with their wishes. Where do my rights begin? How do I handle these maniacs without causing a conflict?

You'll have to explain more about what's religiously nutty about them for me to give you a good answer. I mean, to me they don't sound religious, they just sound like assholes.

Q: Why do many non-Christians celebrate Christmas? Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, so I just don't understand how anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus could celebrate his birth just for presents. And why do nonreligious people have to celebrate Christmas? Why not Hannukah or Kwanza?

Also, why do people who only celebrate Christmas and Easter consider themselves Christian? (people who don't pray or go to church, but still celebrate Christian holidays)

Christmas has evolved into a society holiday. Christians are really good at shoving their ideas at everybody, and when ideas are forced at you, well, that's what happens... people take what they like about them and blow off what they don't. The same thing would happen if we forced kids in school to pray, they'd get used to saying the words but never really believe, because really believing takes more than just exposure.

So, it was so important to Christians that everyone celebrate Christmas and we get work off and everything that they made sure they got their way without thinking about the consequences. And now, here we are... Christmas has been corrupted by the retail industry and 90% of the people who celebrate it are missing out on its more important aspect. Sad, but true.

Q: I am almost 24. My husband is 31. We were married just under 18 months ago, and we haven't had sex in that time. Not just sex.... We haven't been intimate at ALL. He will still hug and kiss me, but it's like he just isn't attracted to me. He swears up and down that it's not that, and that his equipment is "broken".
Problem is, he doesn't seem to have any problem going to adult sites.... he denies it, but I've seen his internet history, and I know he's INTENTIONALLY going to these sites. I've walked in on him before.
What can I do? I want to be intimate with him, but whenever I try to approach him, I get pushed away. I'm beginning to feel like a roommate and not a wife, and my friends are wondering how I've stayed faithful. How do you spice up your marriage when your husband won't even get STARTED?

counseling, and fast. I can't believe you've made it this long! If you want your marriage to be anything it's going to take some kind of professional help, sorry to say it, but there's something your husband isn't telling you and if won't open up he needs to talk to someone who can help with that.

Q: This boy
and I had sex, yes i know your going to say it was a dumb idea, I GET THE POINT!
But I still like him alot but he has a girlfriend now
and he like makes fun of me and jokes and all that good stuff.
But then online , or alone hes a completly different person
and somedays when I look good or better than other days, he like talks to me more
and Im wondering if he still thinks about past times,or is still sexually attracted to me?

help!

I'm sure he's still sexually attracted to you... you're a girl, he's a guy, that's how sexual attraction works. But that's irrelevant... as long as he's got a girlfriend you shouldn't be thinking about this at all. His girlfriend is someone he's willing to spend more time with, get to know better, treat nicely, take on dates, whatever, and you're not, as far as he's concerned. As long as he's not thinking about you on that girlfriend level, he's not worth considering as anything more than a friend.

bio

I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.