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Q:

Thank you. I have a friend,turned BF
( both over 40 here) he is different
from anyone,very passive,evasive,sweet
gentle,non confronting,and treats me
very much the same.not 1 fight ( yep)
he is very open,loving,but has bad
communication..or none really.

My issue is,he confesses these things like
I NEED 2 SEE YOU MORE..but then 3 weeks pass..
( he works & travels 80 hr week)

next confession: he says he feels numb( from working) building business...

I remain horny,lonely..never had that problem
but he is loyal,commitment,and faithful!!

so..am I just a spoiled girl?
or am I being unfair to myself?

I guess the real question is, is this the type of relationship you can be happy with. You know his schedule and work ethic. There are people who put their business in front of relationships and do so thinking that's the way it is. Most likely you won't be able to change that. The only thing you can do is talk to him about it and let him know your concerns. If he cares you will see it in his response. If what you say upsets him and it appears to him you want to get between him and his business then you will know where you stand there also. There is a second thought. This might be a short term problem and he just needs a little more time to get this all working right. Either way talking to him should clear the whole thing up. Now for the other issue, go take a cold shower.

Q: so for the past two years or so, i have been reaaally depressed. sometimes i'd pop out of it and be happy, but only for about 4 hours or less at a time. then i'd get upset again. its not that anything is bad at home, because everything is just fine. right now, its my friend's depression and her eating disorder and her alcoholic parent that she takes care of...and i cant help her. and i feel i should because shes so busy taking care of her mom she cant take care of herself! but i only see her once a week so its really hard...

and also im having boyfriend issues and stuff.

but i was just wondering is it still called depression if you're not ALWAYS UNHAPPY?? like i said, im mostly upset. but every now and again...like maybe 2-4 times a week, i'd get happy for a very short time. then i'd get sad again. is it depression or is it something else??

and again, like i said this has been going on for two years. im now 15/f.

It's not bad that you have feelings. People having tough times make us feel bad for them. This is healthy. It is called empathy. Depression is something that sometimes takes over our lives and can even take over our thoughts to the point of helplessness. This is not healthy. The problems your friend is having can't be helped by you being unfocused. By you keeping your focus you will be able to comfort and help your friend in a way no one else can. Try to stay focused on what you can do and not what you can't. As you see your friend being helped by your efforts you will see the meaning of your life in a different way. Could it be that you were chosen to be alive at this time to help this person at the greatest need in their life? I have this definition of love. Ready? True love is giving of ones self for the benefit of another expecting nothing in return. You were created to give meaning to those around you. The sum total of your life will not be what you got but what you gave. Think about it!!!

Q: ohkayy.so i really really like this guy but he treats me like crap and has cheated on mee.well.i cant brake up with him.!!!!!!!!bc i wud brake down and cry in front of him....and i REFUSE 2 do that.!!!!!soo.i need some way 2 get him 2 brake up with me and i will not cheat on him...!!!!but i cant figure out ne other wayy.!!!HELP....

I just answered a similar question.
Let me tell you this story. I have this sister in law. She had this husband who was mean to her. Every time they would get into this huge fight she would leave and say she wasn't going back. Well she started missing him, he would call and apologize and she would go back. This went on for 15 years. REALLY!! Well finally it all stopped because he died. She stayed in this realationship simply because she felt sorry for him.

THIS MAKES ME SICK. GET A GRIP! HOW CAN YOU DEAL WITH THIS! MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME CHILDREN AND THEN HE COULD BEAT THEM INSTEAD OF YOU!
LOOK AROUND YOU. IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO? NO WAY, AND BEING HOOKED UP WITH A LOSER MAKES YOUR FRIENDS ILL ALSO. AND TALK ABOUT CRYING, YOU SHOULD CRY FOR LETTING IT GO ON THIS LONG.

Q: Okay I aready wrote this question, but im giving more infomation, and needing more advice and sorry its so long. So im a freshman in high school, and over the summer i met a Junior that goes to my school. We had a thing over the summer (2007), and well into the school year. We would hang out and hook up and everything seemed great. Before him i was in very serious relationship for about a year 1/2. When i met this other guy he was about the only one who i let myself open up to. Well at homecoming everything changed and he told me he didn't want to fool around anymore and that since we wern't even dating it wasn't like we were breaking up. I got really hurt and cryed all night. After that night me and him never talked, and eventually never talked... ever and would occasionally would see each other in the hallways. Well its been that way for about 3 or 4 months. I eventually became really good friends with his best friend, and he likes me and i kinda like him, but i dont have all the feelings im looking for. He asked me to prom, and we went 2 days ago. Well my "he" was there, and we all danced and everything, i had a lot of fun and we talked a WHOLE lot. We have been texting a lot and he told me that my hair looked good, and we should go shopping, and today a bunch of our friends went to lunch including me and him, and he said that being in the car with me and everyone and how nice it was today that it reminded him of summer and how we all hung out. Last saturday me and a bunch of mine and his friends went and played this game late at night where you have a few people hide, and some drive and the people who are driving look and if you are seen by the people driving you have to get in and help them by looking for the people who are still hiding, well anyways we had like a group of people hiding and all of them got caught except me and him, so we start out hiding and its just me and him, and we are just talking more and more and actually looking at each other, and than he becomes really thoughtful, like when we have to run and hop fenses he askes me if im okay, and he i need help, and he grabs my hands to help me a lot. Well we finally get back to where were all suposta meet, and he follows me around, and when were in the car we take a big corner and he grabed my hand, but i pulled away too fast to see if it was ment like that. Now we text all the time, talk at lunch and are going to play the game this coming saturday.... I dont know really what to say, but i mean it kinda seems like he likes me again, but im not sure. i feel blindsided cause i like him so much that i might not be seeing the signs of how much he does or does not like me. Its complicated. and i REALLY REALLY REALLY need advice. i need someone to tell me the truth cause im nervous and dont want false hope. so if anyone can help me understand this, please help me cause your my last hope.
Thanks :]

absence makes the heart grow fonder. But it also makes us think about what we don't have anymore. Let me tell you this story. I have this sister in law. She had this husband who was mean to her. Every time they would get into this huge fight she would leave and say she wasn't going back. Well she started missing him, he would call and apologize and she would go back. This went on for 15 years. REALLY!! Well finally it all stopped because he died.

This guy has already dropped you once. Like my sister in law you both are missing each other. Some how I guess he thinks you are OK with what he did to you and wants you to open the door again. So here's the problem, relationships are hard to forget both the good and bad. When 2 people break up there is this hole in their life that desires to be filled. In our mind we would rather take the chance that it will work this time rather than deal with the empty feeling. We forget the previous pain by thinking more on the pleasure we think we are having. Your solution would be to confront him about the way he let you go and no you weren't OK with it. And just because you are enjoying his company it doesn't mean he has a chance. You need to see an effort on his part to show you his true intentions before you let your guard down. There are way too many fish in the see to be fooling with a MAYBE fish!

Q: i'm kinda fair skinned. i don't burn too bad. but i always burn bad in the beginning of the summer so i'll be really red. i hate it and i was wondering if there is any product i can use to tan instead of sunburn, or turn my sunburn into a tan?

Burning bad when you're young poses serious health risks when you get older. I don't remember the percentage but getting skin cancer increases with every burn. I suggest you use a lotion with SPF of at least 15 until your skin gets used to the sun. Tanning beds could help as you can control your exposure. the bottom line is don't get burned.

Q: me and me boyfriend just had sex.since he couldnt stay up,we didnt have sex for very long.i was wondering is there a certain amount of days someone should wait to have sex again?
15/f

if you are not married never you don't want to get pregnant then end up with the dude splitting on you because of the lack of commitment on his part. if he really loves you he will understand, if he pushes you into it, then you will see the real him. I remember this old saying,

why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

plainly put why should he commit to you as long as you are putting out with no strings.

Q: How old about should a baby be when his/her parents stop having sex in front of him/her in your opinion?

If the baby can see, he's looking. Some children can remember very early events in their life. Not a good thing to be brought up later.

Q: Okay so I am writting this spirituality paper for a religion class, its a general foundations of the human spirit class, and this paper is suppose to be about questing, but i honestly don't know what im questing and honestly right now i don't want to really quest cause i don't have the time, anyway... what are soem things a person could be questing...
i ruled out a few just because my friends are doing them and i don't want to do the same
like who is god, what does he mena to me, and how can i do my part in making the world a better place... so does anybody have any ideas, and mayeb that will spark soemthing for me and i can relate. this would be a great help. thanks!

how about "how you know you didn't come from an amoeba or something. "

Q: sometimes my firends say things like "dont tell them i say this promise" and i say yeah promise but then they say somehting like i hate you and i have the urge to ask my friend why she hates me. idk what to do cause then they get mad at me for confronting another friend with info i really needa know

That's the danger in gossiping. If you don't need to know something to help, don't listen. People think they have power when they know something about someone. Makes them feel big. If it's really a stupid thing, keep it to yourself. If it's serious you could always write a letter or something. hope this helps

Q: I cook all my vegetables in big pans with olive oil. does heating it take out nutrients, and is the olive oil just making it really fatty? (i use a lot of oil)thanks

Olive oil s very high in calories. Some is good but more is not better. I recommend using a 2 part pan and steam them. Cooking, more or less, doesn't remove the nutrients but boiling them does. steaming or raw will be fairly equal. You are however using a good oil, just too much!

Q: 17/f I just found out I am aneamic (sp?)
I have been vegetarian for 4 years and I am feeling really dizzy and a bit nauseaous lately. I can't even stand up and walk in a straight line without feeling dizzy.
I had a blood test and was found to have aneamia.

What foods should I be eating to fix this?
The only meat as such that I eat is fish and eggs. But I hardly ever eat these.

Does anyone know what I should be eating?

I just did this Google search on "iron rich foods" and turned up some very good sites. I also recommend taking an iron pill. You should consult your doctor or pharmacist for a good one. Shrimp, salmon, tuna , dark leafy green vegetables are all good sources for iron. eat them regularly. Fortified cereals are excellent sources also. Check the nutrition value on the side. One I like is Total. I also take a liquid supplement. Something bio-available is better. (that means body ready)I use vemma www.myvemma.com/344842005 the cost is $60.00 a month but well worth the cost. My mind and body works like it did when I was 28. I am now 55 and in great health. Also I do a free website dealing with nutrition. www.healthfix4life.com There are a lot of resources available for studying. I think you will find it very helpful

Q: i am 5 feet 16 female and weigh 112 pounds.
i know i am skiiny but i have a hUGE pop belly or pouch wtvr u call it.
i do excercieses each ngiht for at leat 45 mins.

it remains the same

how can i make my stomich flat???????

It would appear your food choices may be stopping you from trimming the fat. Exercising makes us hungry so the more you exercise the hungrier you become. The trick is to fool your stomach in believing it is full by eating foods that are filling but have low caloric value. By all means I am not qualified to give advice and I cannot assume to be correct. I do however understand how the body functions and therefor I base my answers on that premise only. So think of this, fruits and vegetables have very good nutrients and quick energy release. Eating these before you exercise will get you ready for a good exercise. It is important that the pulse rate increase for at least 30 mis in order for the workout to start breaking down the fat in our body to be used as fuel. Now you will be hungry. Don't undo what you just accomplished by pigging out on junk food. To tell the truth, now would be a good time for a bowl of cereal. I recommend raisin bran. The fiber and wheat will take a while to digest, help clean your colon, and make you feel full longer. I have a free website dealing with nutrition and I have included a lot of research topics that deal with nutrition. No personal info is asked. Simply free info. There are several sites linking to some good cookbooks and the like. It's a long site but I think you will find it helpful.

Q: Special K brand foods are said to be healthy, but is it even good for a diet. I'm not one to starve myself to be thin, that's just sad.. but some things I know is just for advertising sales. I was told that this advertising was not factual. So, I wanted to know if special snacks, cereals, etc are really good for nutrition, fiber and are they really that healty? And what foods are healthy but good that I can enjoy while on a diet?

Special K is not that. On a scale of 1 to 10 it is about a 7. I recommend a well rounded diet. 5 servings of fruits and vegetables, grilled chicken, baked and broiled fish, regular serving of salads, and plenty of pure water. I'm a nutrition freak and have put together a free website dealing with being healthy. Requires NO information of any kind. I have supplied many links dealing with some tremendous health related sites. spend some time going through the site. I also linked to cookbooks, juicing options, smoothie recipes so you should find plenty to answer your questions. I have a link to email me if you have any specific questions you would like reference material on. www.healthfix4life.com

Q: so my dad is jewish. my mom is baptist. but me and my brothers were brought up jewish. i honestly dont believe the jewish religion and i told my boyfriend this and now he wants me to go to his catholic church with him. i dont know what to expect. i hear you have to go to the priest and get bread and wine and stick your tongue out. how far do i stick my tongue out? what do i wear? questions like that is what i need information on. if someone could help me out it would be greatly appricated. thank you

It's not about a religion, it's a relationship. There was this beginning, Adam sinned, THE LORD banished man from the garden. Time went on and the Jewish people fell so utterly far from GOD that HE sent HIS son Jesus to reconcile us back to himself. Ultimately man refused to completely comply to GOD'S plan for their lives they were compelled to come up with their own rules for holy living thus the many religions. Jesus is the Messiah believe it or not. makes no difference. trusting in HIM alone for salvation is important. I believe there are true believers in all religions who preach Jesus as the only way to heaven. If you can't actually feel the presence of THE LORD when you worship you are either in the wrong building or spiritually dead. Jesus said "I am THE way, THE truth, and THE life, no man comes to the FATHER except by me!

Sorry! I've never been to a Catholic church. They have a lot of tradition dating way back. You can expect to see rituals performed to symbolize feeling bad about sin in your life and repenting. You cannot take communion (bread and wine) unless you have gone through their program. What I referred to earlier was tradition is simply that. You should wear something very conservative and hair should be well groomed. It is also important for members to go to confession weekly. You go tell the priest your dirty laundry, say some hail Mary's, and do your best to do better, (which is impossible considering yours and my sin nature) Then load up and go have a few beers and go on with life.

Q: Im turning 16 in about a month
& im getting a car.

Im a girl & im preppy and stuff.
What kind of car should I get thats not supeeeer expensive, like 4 thousand / 5 thousand.

Whatever I get, I will get like speakers, rims, radio. Blah Blah Blah.
So what kind of car should I get?

Honda civic. Holds up well, has great resale value, and great gas millage.

Q: Im about to get a job from home job company. They told me that to keep my privacy, they would send my pay to a PayPal account. I have a Paypal account. Here's my question: Is there any way with Paypal that I can like .. cash in my internet money into actual physical cash?

Direct deposit into your bank account or get a debit card through them {I think they offer that}

Q: my room is always really dusty....I dont know why i clean all the time, but dust just seems to build up so fast and i dont know why

I think you have several problems. To start if you have carpet and you vacuum regularly, you need to know something about vacuums. They can only trap the things you suck up that are bigger than the holes in you vacuum bag. If the bag didn't have holes for the air to escape then it would pop when you turned it on. So all the tiny particles that escape through the holes float back into the air and resettle on the furniture and floor and here we go again. You might also check the quality of air conditioner filter you use. Some are more efficient than others. Damp mopping where you can and using a dusting solution can solve some of the problem. I got rid of my carpet and about two thirds of my problems went to the land fill. Your cloths tend to shed particles also. Sweeping is worse than vacuuming and especially for your health. You may not know it but you filter a lot of trash out of the air with your lungs. I am very concerned about indoor air pollution and many people have the same problem. I have a site that deals with these same issues if you would care to check it out. www.healthfix4life.com This is a free site and requires no login or information for these tips. Just want people to be healthy.