|
Emotionally numb confession
Thank you. I have a friend,turned BF
( both over 40 here) he is different
from anyone,very passive,evasive,sweet
gentle,non confronting,and treats me
very much the same.not 1 fight ( yep)
he is very open,loving,but has bad
communication..or none really.
My issue is,he confesses these things like
I NEED 2 SEE YOU MORE..but then 3 weeks pass..
( he works & travels 80 hr week)
next confession: he says he feels numb( from working) building business...
I remain horny,lonely..never had that problem
but he is loyal,commitment,and faithful!!
so..am I just a spoiled girl?
or am I being unfair to myself?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
No matter how much you try to be happy with part of the whole package, you just can't be...then you feel guilty. Why? Everyone has certain needs, and when only a few of those needs are fulfilled, the others don't just disappear. You have nothing to feel guilty about and you are not spoiled. It is good to be honest about your needs. He is not able to fulfill them and he may never be. You may have to cut your losses and keep looking for the whole package, which is hard, because it means having no security for a time. However if you stay with someone who is not able or willing to give you all you need, your unhappiness will only increase and you will both end up miserable and resentful. No one is perfect..and I don't mean look for Mr. perfect, but your base needs are not being met...those needs are not trivial superficial things, they are important. Most likely you have a deep need for a man in your life to make you feel secure and whole...something you have lacked in childhood, or you would never be putting up with the rest of it. There is a flip-side to every coin. You like that he listens and maybe no one has ever listened before, but he is not listening because he loves you so much, as much as he is thinking, "Great, she is doing all the talking. I don't have to talk. I hate sharing." You can't fix this by fixing him. People do not change their personalities this much and so you need to figure out a way to either really be happy with him as is, or face the fact that you are really unhappy and move on. P.S. You are assuming that he is loyal and faithful...but when you never see him and he is not communicating openly, you don't really know him. Guys like that are usually afraid to open up and hide a lot of stuff from those closest to them. Be good to yourself, be honest and let yourself be happy.
]
I guess the real question is, is this the type of relationship you can be happy with. You know his schedule and work ethic. There are people who put their business in front of relationships and do so thinking that's the way it is. Most likely you won't be able to change that. The only thing you can do is talk to him about it and let him know your concerns. If he cares you will see it in his response. If what you say upsets him and it appears to him you want to get between him and his business then you will know where you stand there also. There is a second thought. This might be a short term problem and he just needs a little more time to get this all working right. Either way talking to him should clear the whole thing up. Now for the other issue, go take a cold shower.
]
More Questions: |