Marizzle's advice column

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Q: ok so i have these friends that ive known since i was 3.well they r twins. i get along better with one of them (who ironicly has the same name as me) and anyway sometimes i feel like i cant talk to her if the other one is around. im going to call the one i get along with,"sister" other one, "buddy". well sister really understands me and buddy doesnt. if i want to talk to sister about something she understands and relates to me. while i feel like buddy just thinks that im being over dramatic or stupid. sister and i are ALOT alike and buddy and i are way different!
i feel like she constanly talks down to me and sister doesnt but she also doesnt stand up for me when buddy does that. HELP PLEASE I DONT KNOW ID BUDDY IS FRIEND OR FOE!

''Buddy'' is probably jealous of the close relationship that you & ''sister'' have. Try asking her out with you guys a bit. Do something that ''buddy'' likes, even if you don't like it, just to see the real ''bubby'' come out. You will soon know whether she has got it in for you as such.

But Im sure thats not the case, as I say shes probably just jealous, or worried shes losing her sister. Good Luck !

Q: Can someone help me to find steps to help my son who has been housbound for 2 yrs. he is 22 but every doctor says he has to come in. where can i find help or at least steps to help him. he is so desperate. He wants to go out but after being out for 5-10 minutes has to go back and it has to be at night or early morning when no one is there. please someone help.

Okay. I know Im probably not the best person to answer as I dont know much of it however...

I do suffer panic attacks, mainly when Im in out where there is big groups of people. The only way I can over come this is by focusing my mind just on one thing, or where im going.

Try inviting a few of his friends over and encourage them to take him out, as with them he will be familiar, if not then try to old fashioned bribary, is there anything in particular he really wants but isnt STUPIDLY expensive?
Say to him if I give you the money for this then go and get it from the shop, because with this excercise hes so excited about that hes getting that his mind will only be focused on that, and when he gets back he will be even happier that he has something nice.

He should then start to associate going out with a result of something nice, even if its just to come home to a nice warm house.

And if all fails..then my last option would to be to try getting him a puppy, they all need to be walked, and Im roughly 80% sure that his mind again will be puppy focused and this may help!!

Good luck, please let me know how you get on

Q: ok..this is kind of a weird question..but i was supposed to start my period LAST wednesday..and its a week later. ive been under alot of mental and emotional stress lately, but i still had bad cramps, yelled at people, cried for no reason, ate icecream..etc. and i know im not pregnant bc i havnt had sex in a year. i eat fairly healthy, but am on alot of prescrips for a cold..whats wrong with me??

Hun theres no need to worry.

You have answered the question yourself ''ive been under alot of mental and emotional stress lately''

Even if you have bad cramps and do all the normal stuff that happens during your period, it doesnt stop the stress from delaying it.

Perhaps have a couple of days doing something quiet, settle down a bit just to get it started. Good Luck!

Q: OK so I liked this guy for a longer period of time than I have ever liked anyone and I know it's not a big deal because I am young and all but ever since I got over him I am being hit on my alot of older guys and I am doing all kinds of crazy stuff (nothing illegal) just immmoral in my eyes. I asked another question that elaborates on this. SO am I doing this because I need to prove to myself I am over him or do I have an attention problem?

I wouldnt call it an attention problem, but it could be because you feel you need/want the attention.

Or maybe you have friends or just people who seem to pressure you into feeling you have to do this stuff with older guys?

Never push yourself more than you wanna be pushed. Just go with the flow, dont let these older people hurt you.

You havent got an attention problem, its just a feeling of being needed and wanted, your just doing what naturally comes to mind after you split up with someone cos your so used to the one on one attention. Just dont do what you dont wanna do

Q: my friend is best friends with this guy and she told me she didnt like him tons of times and so i liked him. then he asked me out and now she is mad at me for going out with him when she told me they were just friends and thats it. i really like him and i dont wanna break up because shes mad and i dont wanna lose a friendship with her because she likes him i just now found out. im hurt and confused.what to do?

Explain to her that you hadnt any idea she had feelings for him, and you asked her plenty of times.
Also mention that if she was your friend then surely she would tell you she had feelings for him?

You shouldnt split up with this guy if you love him.

Just reassure her your always there for her, but your sorry you cant change your feelings, you did ask her plenty of times what she felt for him but she denied it.

Good luck

Q: Well to start off i'm 17/M and my girlfriend is 16/F

About 6 months ago we met online and we liked each other from the start. Around four months later we figured out a way to meet..Which was really hard because I live in Virginia and she lives in Connecticut. So we met at a hockey game for her birthday..Well we really loved each other in person so we decided to go out and figure out a way to make this work for us. Around a month later, during Christmas break, my dad let me take a train to CT to spend a few days with her. Her family liked me and we had the best time ever. The problem is..I had hopes of going to college in CT so I could be closer to her and the distance would no longer be a problem. Well my dad says he wants me to go to a community college down here for a year or two then transfer to a 4-year college, and he said that is the only way he would help me pay for it. Well I would do anything to be closer to her and go to college in CT but my dad said i would have to pay for room-and-board, the out of state tuition, and food, and all the other expenses i would have. I'm not sure how i would be able to do all that on my own..but i would do anything for this girl because i love her so much. And she says she doesn't think she would be able to handle a long distance relationship for another year. Please help me..I don't know what to do and i can't lose her, we're so perfect together and I've never loved anyone like i love her.

I have gone through this myself.

I can see both sides of the story, your dads and your *girlfriends?*

But the first points I will pick up on is, she says she doesn't think she would be able to handle a long distance relationship for another year & he said that is the only way he would help me pay for it.
Well for a start if she loves you this much then its the simple story of she will wait for you. I know its hard, VERY hard but she will wait.
And as for your father, he should encourage you to study and put your life onto education for the time being, and if the only way you will do that is if he can help with the costs for you to go to CC then he should do it.

However, in my opinion, you should focus on your studies more so than your love life, your education only comes once to a certain degree, and you only have that opportunity once to make something of yourself, whereas love comes and goes.

I really do sympathise with the long dist. relationship cos I know what its like, but the only way I got over it was to believe he would wait for me. Unfortuneatley for me he didnt.

So underlining this I would suggest talking to her and seeing if she loves you enough to wait, and if she will then focus on convincing your father to help you with costs, if he really disagrees, I suggest you go along with him, and ask your partner to wait for you.

Good luck

Q: how can i lose weight on my thighs. i play soccer so they are kinda muscle but not all of it. i really really need to lose the fat cause im fit the rest of me and i wanna be ready for summer.

Do you ever run on the treadmill?

I found that worked really really well for me. Didnt take very long either.
Soccor is okay but not really focused all on that part of your body.

Try running on the treadmill, and riding a bike or the auto bike in a gym.

Works well for me! Good luck

Q: ok before i even begin i dont want anyone sayin that havin sex befoer marriage is bad and stuff so if thats all ur gonna think of me just dont even bother answering ok.
ov had sex many times befoer and yesterday was the first time i popped well u know the hymn that breaks is it like suppossed to just rip off at the end and be just like hangin there or wat? cauz it looks sooooooooo gross and i was just wonderin if it was like suppossed to rip off completily so it wouldnt be hangin it would be just gone. is that how its suppossed to be?

It usually isnt visible but then all girls are different, in my opinion, you shouldnt see it , it shouldnt be hanging.

Google it and see what it suggests but it shouldnt be hanging and it shouldnt be gross. Should just dissapear :)

Q: So theres this GIRL who is skinny and has blonde hair..well i read some questions she answered, (on advicenators) and she gave back really careless answers, like stuff that can can cause INFECTIONS while using SHOWER heads, and she didnt even take the time to look into the question! what is this girls problem?! the person who's question she answered could have seriously hurt herself, and/or gotten sick!
so the question is: what is this girls problem?!

It cant. Please stop pestering me before I report you.

Q: i was talking to this guy that i have never seen him or heard him before. (his mom set us up) and i called him one night and four guys was talking to me like i was a peice of trash actually. They was asking me a whole bunch of questions, like what i was wearing and if i would have sex with them (except in a more pig-like manner.) And dont get me wrong i am not making an effort any more with him. But if he does call, which he probably wont, what should i say. I mean if talks like that with his friends, then he could talk like that all the time. And if i see him then what do i do? do i go off? cause i was really really mad. like i was crying because i was afraid of who or what i might hurt. i was shaking. and i just dont know why boys act like that and why they would want to talk like that to a girl. but what would i do in those scenarios? and would one consider the talk sexual harrasment? thanks

Well, I would suggest (if you have his mobile) texting him to see what hes like without friends, because sometimes a guy thinks this is the best way to get a girls attention, they dont always realise its affecting you.

But if on the other hand you really dont want to talk to him, then if he does ring, answer and say im sorry but i dont like the way you spoke to me last time so until i get an apology I dont want to hear from you again.

If you see him, then avoid him, if he comes over then ask him what he wants, and if its anything you dont want to answer, then walk off. You wont be hurting anyone.

Yes it is sexual harrassment, maybe you can mention it to his mum? Or anyone who talks to him? See if they can say to him that his behavious around you is not acceptable.

Underlining it I would say...
*Avoid him as much as possible physically, however if he phones/texts, then answer and ask for an apology, and sternly say until I get one I dont want to hear from you again, good luck

Q: if you are masturbating with your shower head (not like sticking it in there but like using the water and having high pressure) , can that be bad for you?

Nope.

Its a great way to pleasure yourself! It causes no harm whatsoever.

Q: Can anybody help me with my esssay, like..give me website helpers on the topic or give me starting sentences and some endings?

The topic is: Why should the government support legislation that supports catholic schools?

i would like to win, but i do not know how to start and end it. so thanks in advance!

Uhm well,

You could start with,

In my opinion I think, .........

And you could end with

So in conclusion I have come to the decision that they should support legislation with catholic schools because........

Hope I helped =]

Q: How do you get the IPod symbol to show up on ITunes? I went onto it, the IPod is on and fully charged so what am I doing wrong?

Obivousley, from what your saying, your having problems with the computer recognising the ipod is connected.

Reinstall Itunes, and maybe try a ipod reset, you can find this on the apple website, then reconnect. If it still doesnt work, then check your USB cable isnt defaced (damaged).

Hope this helps, let me know =]

Q: Recently we were going to adopt a dog from a kennel when the "kennel people" called us saying that the dog had gotten pneumonia. They kennel vets didn't say how severe the pneumonia was, just that the dog was coughing up bile, yet it was still eating. I wanted to know if after having pneumonia, a dog is more likely to get other illnesses. I really want to adopt this dog, but don't want to risk having it die because of other illnesses. What should I do?

I would ask for as much ''honest'' information as you can get from the kennal staff.

If they don't shed much light, then phone a professional vet, explain the pneumonia and ask them whether or not other illnesses are expected and how bad etc etc.

I would suggest not rushing into adopting a dog that is clearly quite ill, however dogs can get over pneumonia quite easily, and not have any other side effects. So until you have at least 70% reassurance that this dog shouldn't get any other illnesses apart from the obvious cold etc, then I wouldnt adopt just yet!

Hope this helps, let me know how it goes, Im a huge animal lover

Marizzle

Q: well i like this 1 girl and i walk behind her sometiems in the hall in school and i want to talk to her but i go blank and i dont no what to say wat should i do??

im 15 if that helps

Open the door for her sometime. Or like the other person said, just say hi, but make sure shes on her own, cos normally with friends theres a bad reaction to a random hi! lol.

Maybe find out her email? Send her a message through school email, or find out if she has a particular website, and type a message on her website. Good luck

Marizzle

Q: okay so i am gay but my mum and no-one else knows how should i come out to my mum as i am worried if i tell her she may hate me

Never EVER be worried that your Parents/Guardians will hate you. My Mum is gay, and I have numerous gay friends.

Your parents love you for you, and if your happy they will know that, and they will encourage you to make the most of it. Its not easy breaking news like that but its only cos your thinking of the worst outcome.

As for telling her...
You could
*Write a Letter explaining how you feel and why you were worried to tell her.
*Text Her sying the same thing
*Or just speak to her face to face which sometimes if the best option.
Perhaps tell a close friend first then get them to drop a hint, so she has a chance to think of her reaction. Then when she does find out, it will be more expected. Good luck hun, let me know how it goes
Marizzle

Q: Hi, I'm David, I'm 20 and I'm from Australia. My boyfriend is 19.

I have been in a long term relationship with my partner for about 15 months now, and everything was going well. We were living between my place and his, spending about half the week at his place, and the end of the week/weekend with my parents at my place. We were together every day, slept together every night, talked via email or txt messages while we were at work or apart.

We've gone through a few things recently: Uni struggles/exams, I lost my job, he started working full time at a demanding summer job, I went overseas.. For a few weeks, since about the time he started his new job, he'd been a bit distant and not wanting to have sex. I asked several times if everything was OK, and he said it was, so I assumed he was just really tired from juggling uni stress, training as an elite athlete, two jobs and our relationship. I went overseas for about 10 days, and when I came back I could tell he was unhappy, he wasn't his usual bright self.

Over the weekend just gone, we were house sitting at his sister's place, and I asked him what was wrong and I kept asking because I said I wanted to know so I could help. He shed a few tears and told me that he didn't think he loved me anymore.

I got out of him that he doesn't think he loves me anymore, he doesn't love me the way he used to. He thinks the spark is gone, though he still cares about me.

On Monday we told my Mum, and she talked to both of us. He doesn't think working on it will help, but he's not sure. So we decided we'd break up and take a break. We moved all our stuff back to our own places. We had tickets to a concert Tuesday night, and we still went. The friend we went with said it was odd, because we were still symbiotic, and it didn't seem like anything was wrong, we were still talking and laughing and everything as usual, just we both looked a little sad.

He told me Tuesday night he had a little more hope we could work this out, but he said I shouldn't get my hopes up because he didn't want to break my heart again.

So my question is, will this break work? He says he still cares about me, but he's not sure he loves me. Will giving him time and space let him realise that he mightn't feel the same way about me as he used to because his love for me has changed, not gone away?

Unfortunately as with every relationship when it hits this point, it can go either way and you can never tell which way. I am spending far too much time with my boyfriend, which is causing the same conflict, so with any luck, you will both learn to appreciate each other once you see each other again.

However if you do decide to have another go, its very easy to jump back into your old routines, seeing each other everyday, texting 24/7, emails etc etc.

You dont want to get straight back into that, cos everything will repeat itself, only worse because you have been through it already and if you try a break again, you will realise its not working.

All you can do is hope for the best, as for tips, dont nag at him too much, and tell him not too nag at you too much, try not seeing each other for a week or 2 solid. When you reunite, he could feel that rush of love all over again!

Good luck hun, let me know!

Marizzle

Q: what age do females stop developing at??and if you r a late bloomer what age do girls stop developing at?
thanks:)

Just wanted to say that yes there IS a difference between normal and late bloomers. I should know. I was a late bloomer and I didnt get boobs till I was 15 almost 16 and now they are D cup size. So waiting was worth it.

Q: i vomitted this passed sunday just once when i got out of the shower and i'm not too sure why and every since then i've had abdominal cramps. when i did vomit i was really dizzy and had a really bad stomach ache. can anyone tell me what might be going on? (because i have no idea)and when it might go away?

Unless it has anything to do with period pains, then it could be food poisoning.

But the highest chances are that it is period pains, although they shouldnt cause you too vomit, sometimes when you have a bath that is too hot it can make you sick.

Q: what are those colorful things in her hair? http://image.stylemob.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=132967&g2_serialNumber=2

They are just little clips that clip onto strands of thin hair. You can buy them at more hair shops. They are circle shaped.

bio

Well...

Im just under 6'0, Im a model, I enjoy horse riding, figure skating, and shopping :)

I have blonde hair, blue eyes & Im a slim build.

Im your average teenager who has suffered the same as any other teenage and much more, or maybe much less compared to some :)

Ill give you my answer as I feel is correct, if its a question I have familiarity with then you will get an answer which I find best suited :)