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Hi everyone! My pen name is Hannah and I am a 17-year-old girl. I like languages, friends, cats, and many other things. I really love giving advice, and I am studying psychology now. My favorite questions have to do with mental health. As I said above, I am taking psychology classes now, but I also do a lot of outside research, so chances are that if you say something to me about a disorder or anything like that, I will know what you are talking about. Although I am not a licensed psychologist, I hope to someday be one and I would love to get some practice here. Also, if you ever have a problem and you like my advice and would like to talk with me, I have many messenger services so I would be more than happy to set up a time to talk with you about whatever you need.
I hope to here from you soon!
advice
I shake a lot when I get nervous or when I'm arrguing with someone. Do you think there's something wrong? Also, there is a past of anxiety in my family, is that what it could be? It happens almost each and every time I argue or get really upset and it doesn't go away until everything is resolved. Thanks in advance.
Shaking when you are nervous is a normal reaction to anxiety. The main concern is the actual nervousness. How often you are nervous, how intense it is, and how much it affects your daily life are factors that psychologists use to determine if you have an anxiety disorder. Since you say that anxiety disorders run in your family, it is possible.
How often do you get nervous? Do you often have excessive worry about many different things that may not be related to each other? Has this been happening for 6 months or more? If so, you could have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This is a fairly common disorder that usually surfaces during adolescence. You can go here for more information on this:
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx24.htm
Do you get nervous a lot in social situations? Do you find it hard to talk to others, make friends, or more severely, leave the house? If so, you could have Social Anxiety Disoder, aka Social Phobia. Social Phobia is the extreme fear of being scrutinized by others. People with this disorder will try to avoid social situations, or endure them with symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, shaking, and sweating. For more information on Social Phobia, go here:
http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html
Another possible disorder is a panic disorder. This is when you have panic attacks, often for no reason at all. Some people even have them while they are asleep! Panic attacks can include thoughts that you are having a heart attack, are about to die, or going crazy. It also can include rapid heart beat, shaking, sweating, and dread. People who have panic attacks try to avoid the things that trigger them. To be diagnosed with a panic disorder, you must have had at least 4 panic attacks and fear having more. For more information, go to:
http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx28.htm
You can also go to the following websites for information on anxiety disorders in general and to find information on some anxiety disorders that I didn't mention:
http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/ken98-0045/default.asp
http://www.apa.org/topics/topicanxiety.html
I hope this information helped you! Write anytime. :)
-Hannah
Is anyone here treated for social anxiety disorder? What medication are you on? How does it work for you? And how old are you?
I hope you don't mind that I'm answering your question. I have not been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, but I am studying and am very interested in psychology, so I know some things.
I know you are just asking about medication, but I will talk a little about all of the treatments available.
The first treatment is breaking challenges into smaller pieces until you can manage the hardest part. This is very effective in social anxiety disorder. If you go to therapy for this problem, this will probably be an important part.
Another one of the treatments is cognitive behavior therapy. This is talking about and changing the way you look at yourself, the world, and how what you do affects your thoughts and feelings. This is expecially helpful in people with social anxiety disorders, other anxiety disorders, depression, bulimia, and other disorders. It is most often used with medication.
The most common types of medication used for social anxiety disorder are called SSRI's. They are a class of anti-depressants. You may know some of the names: Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, just to name a few. Most people are very responsive to these drugs, especially when they are combined with cognitive behavior therapy.
Some side effects of anti-depressants/SSRI's in general are dry mouth, urinary retention, abdominal pain, nausea, and headaches. It has also been linked to suicide in children and teens.
I know I wasn't the type of person you were looking for, but I hope that this information helped you anyway. :)
Hannah
whenever i run alot my toenails feel like they're going to fall off and eventually they do. i'm pretty sure its not my shoes because i have 3 pairs of sneakers and 2 pairs of cleats and i tried wearing different ones but my toenails just keep falling off year after year =[ does anyone know how to stop this?
I really doubt that it is a problem with the shoes. Shoes don't make toenails fall off. You should definitely see a doctor. But, I will tell you a few things that could be causing it. See if any of these things sound like you:
Are you an athlete? If there was a kind of trauma to the nail, that could cause it to fall off. Another possibility is blood building up under the nail and eventually causing it to come off.
But since you said that it has happenen multiple times, fungus is more likely. Toenail fungus is caused by fungi that feed on keratin, which is the hard protein in your nail. If you experince these symptoms, this could be the problem: yellow nails, think and overgrown, and/or crumbling and falling off.
Nails that fall off will grow back, but you should go to a doctor because when they do, the new nails will get infected and the fungi rarely go away on their own. If you go to the doctor, they may remove part of your nail to test it. You may be given prescription anti-fungal nail polish or oral anti-fungals.
After the infection is treated, you should try to prevent future occurences. The fungi thrive in dark, moist environments, so try not to wear tight shoes and socks. Thick nail polish can also cause this problem. They are also transferrable from foot to foot, so if you go to locker rooms it is a good idea to buy an inexpensive pair of sandals.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
-Hannah
I love my boyfriend to death, but he always goes from being nice and sweet, to an a**hole at the drop of a hat. We've been going out for two years so i know what gets to him, so im always avoiding saying or doing thingsthings so he doesn't blow up at me. He gets really mad and throws tantrums and throws things or swears and takes all of the frustration out on me. Like today for instance, we had a really great day, and then i went over his house to help him make a posterboard of pictures for his dads upcoming party, and everything was fine until i told him that a spot where he put a picture didn't look right, and he gets mad. he flings the pictures to the ground, and says "hes done" and "i can do the f**king thing by myself." He gets mad over the stupidest things, really. I finished it without him, when it wasn't even my own dad, and i cleaned up his mess, because i didnt want to start anything else. Bad example maybe. But there has been times when he has literally punched walls, flipped coffee tables, threw whatever object was around, just screams and up and leaves, and i get scared.
I always feel like a bad girlfriend in the end. And i shouldn't because i do so much for him, and hes just unappreciative. He makes me feel so low of myself sometimes. He always ends up apologizing, but im getting sick of the same old thing. He always says hes sorry, and that hes gonna work on his anger, and that he loves me, but i dont even know if i can believe it anymore. I love him, a lot, but i dont want his anger to get to the point where he begins to physically take it out on me, because it's hit emotionally & verbally already. Like what do i do? Some days i just want to end it [whenever he's acting like this], and some days i dont want to because i love him. its really hard. i try talking to him, but he gets mad. Go figure. Any advice? Open for anything. Please.
Hi,
Please, whatever you do, don't take it out on yourself. You are a wonderful person. You sound very caring and smart. It seems like you just want to do the right thing and not cause any trouble. I can't emphasize how important it is to remember that you did nothing wrong. This isn't your fault, and this isn't even about you. It is about your boyfriend, no one else.
I know you love him, don't be angry at yourself for that either. People fall in love with people that aren't compatible with them or not good for them at all. You can't help who you fall in love with, so don't b angry with yourself.
In your heading you put "bi-polar, ey?." It is possible, but another possbility is anger management problems. These things happen as a result of childhood, mostly, along with experiences in life. They take their anger out on people and things that have nothing to do with what caused the problem. But what specifically is wrong with him is not the main concern right now. The main concern is your safety.
You might not want to hear this, and I know it sounds cliche, but you really do need to tell your parents about this. Even though your boyfriend hasn't hurt you physically, as you said, it could become that way if this continues. You parents need to know that danger.
These things usually go step-by-step. The person starts small, with little outbursts of anger. It progresses until throwing objects, insults, and other emotional abuse happens. Finally, physical abuse is a possibility. You need to get help now before that happens.
If you don't feel comfortable telling your parents because you feel ashamed, tell a school counselor or a close friend. Tell them to tell your parents for you. Either way, you need to get the help.
I know it's scary, and I know you love him. But you need to end the relationship. Do not do this in a private place. Do it in the daytime and in a public place with lots of people. Have your parents be near you, but not too close (so you can say things by yourself). I know this might be confusing, so I'll give an example. You could tell your boyfriend to meet you at a popular restaurant for lunch. Have your parents be sitting at a table there, even if it is across the restaurant. You don't need them to be sitting at the table with you, most people prefer not to do it that way. But you should have someone there who can watch and make sure that nothing goes wrong. Tell him that no one did anything wrong, it's just time to move on. I don't think that it is a good idea to talk about his anger, because it might make him more angry to the point where he is threatening you. If that happens, you need to go to the police.
I know this all seems hard because you love him, but this is one of those times where you need to think about yourself and your safety, and not how this will affect your boyfriend.
Again, always remember not to feel like you are a bad girlfriend or that you caused the problem.
Here are some websites that offer more information that might help you:
http://www.acadv.org/dating.html
http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/dating.asp
http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/
http://www.brown.edu/Student_Services/Support/Dating_Abuse
I hope everything works out alright for you, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a message anytime. :)
-Hannah
15/f here.
Recently I was crushing on someone who might have worked out. I talked to their female friend, came out to them and had a long discussion on -AIM- about stuff. Turns out the friend is a lesbian, too.
Told her about the crush on her friend, and she told me a load of irritating personality traits and all, and so I've basically decided this crush will end up crushing me if I decide to go after her because of sheer incompatibility, and the fact that she's pretty much asexual..
Now I've gotten the first few warning signs from myself that I might be falling for her. Which is sort of sleazy considering the fact I liked her friend to begin with. I'm not one of those lusty people (ok, RARELY), and I always have strong emotional ties.
Would it be a bad thing to go after her? Share any thoughts or ideas, please.
Hi,
First, know that everyone falls for people that they have almost no chance of having a long-term successful relationship with. That's normal. :) And as for liking both her and her friend, I don't think it is sleazy unless you are going out with them. :)
There are two sides to this, and it all depends on how you feel. I will tell you both of them, and you can decide which on suits you more.
If you really believe that the relationship won't work out, then maybe it is better if you don't pursue it. But I don't know what personality traits she has, so I don't know if it is something you could get around easily. Even though you like her a lot, if you really believe that it won't work out, it probably isn't worth it for you.
However, if you would like to risk it, and the personality traits are easier to get around or ignore, then I would say go for it. Unless she is known to do something really bad, like cheating on people, you don't have much to lose. If you break up, you will get hurt, but that happens in many relationships.
Another thing I want you to ask yourself... why is her friend saying all these bad things about her? Is it possible that they are in a fight and her friend is gossiping about her?
I know it is a little short, but that's all I have for you now. Just know what is important to you and go from there. Do you want to leave things as they are or see if you can make it work? Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck. Don't hesitate to write back if you need anything.
-Hannah
P.S. I am also of the GLBT community, so if you ever have any questions about anything else or if you simply need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message or e-mail me sometime! :)
Okay, so me and this guy that i really like named matt have been going out since 5th grade (im going to 9th grade) but on and off.. i really think we are like soul mates. but i met this guy thats going to be a senior this summer and i really like him. me and matt just started going out a few weeks ago after hating each other for a few mounths. this always happens, we break up and hate each other and then af ew mounths later we get back together. so right now we're 'in love' and stuff. but today matt was being rude to me.. and he kept hanging up on me and then didn't call back.. and hung out with his friends instead of hanging out with me, and im sick so he was supposed to come to my house. but i told the senior about it and he said that matt was only using me to 'get in between my legs' and so on.. he says i should break up with him and not wait but i really dont know what to do.. i mean i really like teh Senior, but then again i love matt.. but me and matt have been on and off for a long time.. and im wondering if i should try something new.. i've never been with a guy that much older than me but i kind of want to try!..help??
Hi,
Since you said that you and Matt have been going out on and off, there must be a reason that you keep separating. I know you feel that he is your soul mate, but that could be just because he is your first love. You don't have anything to compare it to. If he really was your soul mate, he wouldn't be rude to you. He would be more caring about your feelings. There is a saying that goes something like this, "No man is worth crying over, and the one that is won't make you cry." It's cliche, but it's true. I'm not saying that Matt is a bad person or that you can't get along with him, but maybe your relationship is better for friendship. Sometimes being to intimate changes a good relationship for the worse.
As for the senior saying that Matt just wants to "get in between your legs," that might or might not be true. I don't know enough about him to say. But I just think he is rude to you, and you shouldn't have to put up with him being nice to you only sometimes. Even though you enjoy the parts when your relationship is good, know that it is better with someone who is nice all the time. You can't get into a relationship like that if you don't break it off with Matt.
About going out with a senior, if you do decide to end your relationship with Matt, give yourself a little time to get over him before you jump into another relationship. Plus, you'll have time for yourself for a little bit!
There's one other thing you should think about. That's ages. I feel that it doesn't matter what your age is, it is maturity and how you feel about each other. But, there is a little formula that says how to figure out if someone is too old for you. You divide the older person's age by two, and add seven. That is the minimum age a person should be to go out with them. Another thing you should think about too. Is the senior 18? If he is, it is illegal to have a romantic relationship with him.
This was a little long, but I hope it helps you! If you have any other questions, don't hestiate to write back! :)
Best wishes,
Hannah
f/15
So i think i have a yeast infection. My area is sore/ burns when i touch it or anything else touches it. It doesn't burn or hurt at all when i pee or anything, but it does when i wipe. I haven't really had any discharge like on my underwear lately, i just got done with my period a few days ago. I'm NOT sexually active at all, so thats not even an option. So, do I have one? How did I get it? How do I treat it?
It is really hard to diagnose people online, as there could be different causes of the problem. Even though it probably isn't an STD, there are other problems besides yeast infections to look out for.
The following is directions to test yourself at home. Be sure to read the whole article because it has information that you should know before you start. It also tells you how to make sure the results are as accurate as possible, and why if you test positive it doesn't necessarily mean you have a yeast infection.
http://www.fda.gov/cdrh/oivd/homeuse-vaginal.html
Good luck!
Hannah
Im losing weight because of the discoloration on my neck. It's a wicked long word thta i can't pronouce nor spell but it's because im over-weight which I can't denie. Well ive been swimming a lot and walking, biking and doing my ab-longe. And im eating less which isnt a bad thing trust me. Well I weigh 211 and im 14 and its not all over my body its just in my stomach. (Beer Belly)And I wanna weigh 100 or a lil more like 110 ya know something better than 200 by school. Is that possible? And can I do anything to make it go away faster.
First, congrats on working so hard to lose weight! It is hard for many people to do, so good job on trying your best.
Now to answer your quesion. It seems like what you are doing is really good. I have another work-out that you could try too. I think that it is a little hard, but maybe it won't be to you. It's worth a try!
The following workout was something I found hard, but it works if you stick with it. It is a little long, so bear with me. The whole workout is to be done three times a week, and you should see results in a month. You might want to get an exercise or yoga mat.
Remember to stretch out before you start. The people who made this workout recommend that you run in place for three minutes. (By the way, all the info about this workout was taken from Girls Life Magazine, April/May, 2004)
1.) Toning Push-Ups. Hold a full push-up position (knees off the mat) for a 20-second count on both the "up" part and the "down" part. Your goal is three sets with 12 complete push-ups.
2.) Squats 'n' Shoulders. This is used to develop strong, lean legs and powerful shoulders. Start with dumbbells at your side (if you don't have these, you can use a bottle of bleach that is weighs a few pounds, but the dumbbells are a little better) with your feet shoulder-width apart. Raise the dumbbells out from your sides, bending slightly at the knees. Do three sets of 12.
3.) High Hip Run. This is similar to running in place, but you have to bring each knee up as high as you can toward your chest. This is hard, but try doing four sets at 30 seconds each.
4.) The All-Over. This works your arms, chest, and back muscles. Start in the push-up position. Raise one leg up and down for a total of 15 reps. Switch legs. Try doing three sets of 15 on each leg. You can make it harder by doing an occasional push-up
As far as weighing 110 pounds by school starting, that is unhealthy. The healthiest way to lose weight is by losing it 1-2 pounds per week. If you lose it too fast, your skin doesn't have enough time to get smaller. Your skin could look stretched out. So even though you are anxious to lose a lot of weight, it is better in the end if you lose it slowly.
Good luck with everything, and if you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to contact me!
Hannah
16/f
i have no clue at all what i am fealing lately. i have always noticed another girl to be cute or attractive and i have thought about girls in sexual ways but i always thought it was a phase. i started becoming attracted to guys but there was always part of me saying this is how it has to be boy/girl. i have recently made a friend and she is gay and i have been he;lping her with many issues in her life including issues about being gay and i now am fealng attracted to her on a higher level as well as many other girls. i feel like i shoud tell ehr this but i am afraid that she will think i was usuing her in a way to just get close to her, because all along i have been her straight, understanding friend
i dont know what i should do i feel like i am gay but i am jsut not sure
I have been down this road before, and it is sometimes very confusing. But you just have to know that eventually you will figure it out and you will be stronger for having done so.
For some people, they are always gay, or always bisexual, or always straight. For others, it changes at different points in your life. So remember that sometimes, you may be sure that you are gay and then you like a girl, or vise versa. It is normal for some people so if this happens to you, don't worry about it.
As for figuring out what you are now, remember that you are still a teenager and you are still developing. Your hormones are going crazy so this makes it an especially hard time for you to be figuring it out. I think that you should talk to your friend. I wouldn't tell her about your feelings for her yet, but just tell her that you are unsure about your sexual orientation and would like some guidance. She sounds like she has been where you are now, so maybe she could help you.
I don't know how your parents feel about homosexuals, and if you don't know then you should "feel them out" by asking what they think of homosexuals in general. Do they know that your friend is gay? What do they think about her? If they give a good reaction, maybe you could tell them you are confused and you need their support right now. But if you can't tell your parents, it isn't the best time to be getting a girlfriend. You wouldn't want them to find out that you have one if they don't even know that you are gay.
Also remember that you don't want to experiment with sex to find out which gender you like. It is unfair to both you and your partners. It is alright to have relationships with members of both sexes as long as you really like the people and aren't just using them as experiments.
What you are going through is perfectly normal, and I know many people, including myself, who are going through the same thing. If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me back and maybe we could exchange contact information.
Good luck with everything,
Hannah
Idk if this is in the right the topic thingy. but anywho...
My period is like normally 10-12 days long and some times like 14-16 days. It is horrible. I have asked my doctor and shes told me its because i am "new" to it. but i have had it for like 3-4 years. not extactly "new". but i have told her(my doctor) that i have passed out before because i am losing sooooo much blood. IDK what to do. no one will do anything about this.
(not even my mom who has the same problem and is on B.C. and won't let me use her B.C until the Doctor says its ok!)
WHAT DO I DO???????
When did you tell your doctor about this? If you told her about this problem within the first two years, then you should go back because the problem is still there. You should tell her that you have had it for 3-4 years now, and that you keep passing out. Passing out isn't normal, so the doctor should look into that anyway.
As for your mom not letting you use her B.C.? You need to have a doctor tell you what kind you need, because every woman is different. It can sometimes be bad to use someone else's B.C. because everyone needs a certain amount of the hormones. If you get too much, there could be complications, and if you get too little, then it won't do anything.
How old are you? Sometimes, if you are about 13 years old, you are too young to be treated for the problem. You would have to start B.C. later. However, you should be checked for anemia and other disorders.
I really encourage you to talk to your mother about this again so she can take you to the doctor, possibly a new one if your current one doesn't solve this problem. Maybe you could go online and print off some information on this problem, so she knows that it isn't normal and that it needs to be fixed. The following is a list of websites with useful information for you and your mother, if you decide to take my suggestion.
http://www.apollolight.com/new_content/circadian%20rhythms_disorders/women/irregular.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/307769/should_you_worry_about_a_long_menstrual.html
http://www.4women.gov/faq/menstru.htm#5
Good luck with everything, and write back if you have anymore questions! :)
Hannah
Okay , me and my boyfriend love eachother sooo much and we're totally commited.Problem is , my parents are spliting up and I have to move to Newfoundland [I live in Ontario now] and we're going to try to stay together.I will be coming to Ontario 1-3 times a year and I'll see him everytime.Okay so also , I'm 13 and he's gonna be 15 in January.He's not a virgin [he did it 1 time that's it] and I am a virgin but I am thinking about doing something like that...please if you're going to lecture me give me an answer to.I want to give him something soo sentimental , but I don't have anymoney.AND if I am going to give him my viginity then it will be cuz I was thinking about it anyways , not just cuz I'm leaving !! THANKSS IN ADVANCE !!!!!!
13/female
Hey, this is a common problem, but it is also very difficult when two people are committed to each other. I hope everything goes well, and here is my advice:
I think that it is great that you and your boyfriend are trying to stay together. Why ruin something that works without giving it a chance? Sometimes, adversity can cause relationships to become stronger. However, while keeping this in mind, you must remember that long-distance relationships are often hard. I think it is great that you will be able to see each other a few times a year, but even though it may be hard to believe, you must accept the possibility that it might not work out. I'm not saying to give up, but you must be prepared for that possibility so you will be able to handle it if it happens.
I know this sounds cliché, but it is true: you must not give up your virginity for him. You have so much to look forward to in life. He may be a great guy, but this relationship might not last and if you give up your virginity for him, you may feel guilty when the right guy does come along. If he really is the right guy, then you will have plenty of time in the future for all of this. Plus, the possibility of pregnancy and STDs. Even if you take birth control, you could still get an STD. Since he is not a virgin, it is possible. STDs such as Chlamydia do not show any symptoms but can produce comsequences that can't be reversed. For example, it can cause you to not be able to have children. If your boyfriend used a condom, it could break. What would you do if you got pregnant? Since you are moving away, it would be hard for the baby to see its father. Are you and your boyfriend both financially and emotionally ready to handle such a large resposibility? Are you ready to make the choice between abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby? You are at a time in your life where you still need care from your parents. Even though you have some independence, if you didn't have an adult guardian, it would be very difficult for you to live comfortably. It is almost impossible for a teenager to find a job to support a baby, let alone herself.
There are plenty of sentimental gifts you could get him. Since you believe that you are in love and totally committed to each other, you must have been together for a long time and spent a lot of time together. Maybe you have special memories or inside jokes. Could you get him a gift like that? Maybe a scrapbook of you two together? Adding in a gift like his favorite candy will be great. You could give these gifts on a date that celebrates all the time you have had with each other and all the hope you have for the future. I'm sure you can come up with something that is special.
A final note: if you were really ready to give up your virginity to your boyfriend, you would not be asking this question. You would know that it is the right decision for you. I think that you may be asking it so that someone can tell you what you already know: that it isn't the right decision at this time. Trust your instinct! You are smart and I am sure that you know the decision you have to make. :)
Good luck with everything. I give you my best wishes for you and your boyfriend, no matter what path your relationship takes. I also hope that you enjoy your new home and that the move is easy for you.
Best wishes,
Hannah
I have a spot on my face I have had for about a few months that won't go away. At first i thought it was a pimple but it's now getting bigger. It's also shapped pretty abnormal. The best way i can describe it is like a guitar. A circle and a rectangle next to it but there together. It doesn't hurt or anything but its really noticable, make up wont even cover it up. What do you think it is?
Please help i hate feeling ugly like this :[
Good question! I am not a doctor, but I learned about this in school, and it sounds a little like skin cancer. Check it out soon, because the earlier, the better. Here are the characteristics of skin cancer:
Asymmetry: one half of the mark doesn't equal the other side.
Border Irregularity: ragged, blurred, or notched borders.
Color: not the same color throughout. There are shades of tan, black, red, and blue.
Diameter: greater than 6mm, although any new mole should be of concern.
Please compare your spot to the characteristics above. Even if it does not match them, you should go to the doctor because it could be something else. Good luck with everything, and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to write back!
-Hannah
i heard this song last night and i don't know what it is. i really liked it too!
it starts off as like an instrumental part for maybe 10-15 seconds. then the first line is "i never thought i'd die alone". the band sounded like blink 182 or +44. i heard it on a rock radio station.
does anyone know what it is?
Hi,
I think the song is Adam's Song by Blink 182. The first line of the lyrics matches yours. You might want to look this song up on youtube to see if it sounds the same too.
By the way, another way to look up songs is by going to Google and typing "lyrics" and then the words that you know.
For example, if you wanted to look up this song, you could put "lyrics: I never thought I'd die alone."
I hope it's right!
-Hannah
Hey. I'm 13/f, he's 12/m. This kid has had a crush on me, a really bad one, since the beginning of this school year. [It's two weeks until the end.. :D!] But he really likes me, and he flirts with me A LOT and he's nice to me and everything but it gets really annoying. I don't like him, I just like the attention that I get from him. But as for his actualy personality, there's nothing besides a friendship there. I told him like 6 times that I don't like him, never have, and never will. (in nicer ways than that obviously). And my friends have told him. He just won't quit.
What should I do!? PLEASE HELP ME!
Hi, thanks for your question.
You told the guy that you didn't like him, and your friends have told him too. You said that you like the attention, but you don't like him. This could be sending confusing messages, so I would suggest that you make up your mind. Since you don't like him, you should give up the attention.
Have you told him that you don't like the attention you are getting from him? Try this, and if after you have told him, he still continues to flirt, you should report him for sexual harassment. It sounds harsh, but you told him you didn't feel the same way, and once you told him that you don't like the attention, you will have cleared away the confusion. Therefore, there would be no excuse for him continuing the behavior.
Does your school have an anonymous reporting system? In my old school, it was called the Bully Box, and in it you would put the name of the person who was bothering you, and maybe what they were doing. Teachers would watch out for them and see if they do anything wrong. If not, maybe you could tell your parents or guidance counselor, or you could have your friends do it for you. Either way, get an adult involved. You have tried the best you could to handle the problem and it still won't go away. And because of the Title IX law, sexual harassment is not allowed.
Don't worry about getting him into trouble. He might not be meaning to hurt you, and someone may just talk to him and get him to realize that you seriously don't want him bothering you anymore (and realize that you aren't playing hard-to-get, if that was what he was thinking). This could be what he needs to stop.
Good luck with everything, and write back if you have more questions. :)
-Hannah
where is mall of america?
It is in Bloomington, Minnesota.
It is a really awesome place. My favorite place was the aquarium. It was great, and you should definitely try it out if you are in the area.
By the way, the homepage is www.mallofamerica.com
Have fun!
~Hannah
Ok, i am 13/f and i dont know if i should shave down there. What are all the other girls doing, shaving it all, some, or none?
Hi, great question. Here's my answer:
I really wouldn't suggest shaving down there. The hair is there for a reason, and although you can take it off, it isn't a good idea. One of the reasons hair is there is to preven bacteria from getting into your urethra (the tube where urine passes). If you menstrate, remember that there is bacteria in that discharge. If you have no hair down there, you have an increased risk of getting an infection.
The infection could spread to your kidneys if not treated, which could complicate matters.
What I do is trim it a little on the ends, so it doesn't show when I wear a bathing suit. But I don't go any farther than that. After all, if it isn't really necessary, why go through all the trouble of shaving, waxing (ouch!) or anything else to get rid of it, only to put yourself at risk for infections?
Best wishes! :)
Hannah
Is it cosidered anorexic if you dont eat all day, drink nothing but water, and then eat a little bit of dinner?
Hi, thanks for your question.
It all depends on why you don't eat. Many people are anorexic because they feel that they can't control things in their life, and that eating is the only thing they can control. Another reason is because of low self-esteem.
Either way, it has something to do with losing weight, either because of control, self-esteem, or other issues.
Of course, other things could cause you to not eat much. I don't know if you were refering to yourself, but if this was another person, was she sick? Upset? When people are like this, they lose their appetites. Look into it, but don't worry too much unless it keeps up for longer than a few days without the person looking sick.
If you suspect that you or a friend has an eating disorder, this is a good website for more information:
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/eat_disorder.html
Good luck with everything, and feel free to write back!
xoxo,
Hannah :)
Hi. I'm a 16-year old female.I have this friend that I like a lot as a friend but I also have a crush on him as well. The thing is, I can't be in a situation where the two of us could be together, because of our reputations, and because we'll get in trouble. There's a large group of girls at my school that hates the people I am friends with, as well as myself; what's important about that is that if this guy and I got together, they would never leave me alone about it for as long as I live! I don't want to have to put up with that. It's really confusing because I want to be just friends with him anyway, but I also really have a major crush on him. I want to be able to stop liking him that way but still be just friends. Is there anything I can do so this could happen? Thanks.
Hi, thank you so much for writing. I was in a similar situation, so maybe I can help.
You said you can't be together because you will get in trouble. Did you mean dating or just hanging out? If it is just dating, I would just remain friends. You don't want to get in trouble, right? If it is your parents that you would be getting in trouble with, you might lose their trust. Then doing any type of social activity, even with girls, might be hard.
Another good reason to stay friends is simply that--staying friends. You get along great with him now. And maybe you would make a really good couple. But the fact is, most high school relationships don't make it past high school. Even if you have a good dating relationship, there is always post-graduation plans. If one of you goes farther away, it will be very difficult to keep up the relationship. And no matter how you break up, it always brings back painful memories. Then you might wish that you didn't sacrifice your friendship.
There is no real process to make yourself not like him. And anything I tell you will take time, so be patient. Summer is coming up (yay!), so maybe you shouldn't spend as much time with him as normal. Although this won't make you forget about him, it will take him out of your mind a little so you can focus more on other things. If he likes you too, then it will be easier to tell him why you aren't hanging with him much anymore. If this is the case, tell him that you don't think that a romantic relationship will work out right now, and that you'd like to spend a little time apart. Make sure he knows that you are doing it to benefit the relationship you have now. If he doesn't know you like him and you don't want to tell him about your feelings, make sure you are nice to him so he doesn't think you are giving him the cold shoulder. Hang out with him, but only in groups, so he isn't the only one you are hanging out with.
You also say that you can't be together because of your reputations. I'm not sure what this means, but if you have a bad reputation, it really is never too late to change it. It takes time for people to get used to the new and improved you, but it does eventually work. Progress in small steps so you don't relapse into the same habits, and reward yourself for doing well.
If your friends make fun of you because of your relationship with him, tell them to grow up. It sounds cliché, but it stuns people enough to think about what they are doing, at least in most cases. Many teenagers want to be grown-up, so if someone makes it sound like they aren't, often they will leave you alone. If you decide to date your guy friend, don't bring him around your other friends as much. I'm not saying to hide your relationship if you decide to have it, but just don't give them another reason to make fun of you.
Good luck with everything, and don't hesitate to write back if you have another question!
-Hannah :)
Well, Ive gained alot of wieght since last summer
And I was wondering if anyone knew of any workouts I could do at home to shed the weight. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks :]
Thank you for this good question. I will give you a workout that I have heard. Please keep in mind that it takes time to lose weight, so don't be discouraged if change doesn't happen right away.
A relatively easy thing to do is dance for about half an hour to 45 minutes a day. I saw results in just a few days. I did Irish dance, but it doesn't make a difference. You just have to make sure that it gets your heart rate going.
The following workout was something I found hard, but it works if you stick with it. It is a little long, so bear with me. The whole workout is to be done three times a week, and you should see results in a month. You might want to get an exercise or yoga mat.
Remember to stretch out before you start. The people who made this workout recommend that you run in place for three minutes. (By the way, all the info about this workout was taken from Girls Life Magazine, April/May, 2004)
1.) Toning Push-Ups. Hold a full push-up position (knees off the mat) for a 20-second count on both the "up" part and the "down" part. Your goal is three sets with 12 complete push-ups.
2.) Squats 'n' Shoulders. This is used to develop strong, lean legs and powerful shoulders. Start with dumbbells at your side (if you don't have these, you can use a bottle of bleach that is weighs a few pounds, but the dumbbells are a little better) with your feet shoulder-width apart. Raise the dumbbells out from your sides, bending slightly at the knees. Do three sets of 12.
3.) High Hip Run. This is similar to running in place, but you have to bring each knee up as high as you can toward your chest. This is hard, but try doing four sets at 30 seconds each.
4.) The All-Over. This works your arms, chest, and back muscles. Start in the push-up position. Raise one leg up and down for a total of 15 reps. Switch legs. Try doing three sets of 15 on each leg. You can make it harder by doing an occasional push-up.
Also, make sure that you eat healthily so you have plenty of energy for all this exercising! I wish you the best of luck, and don't give up. I will be rooting for you. :)
If you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to send me a message. Good luck!
~Hannah
Bahh. I need a job.
Problem is, I'm only 15 @_@
and I can't for the life of me think of a job I can do...
I have anxiety problems when it comes to people, *especially* kids...so babysitting is out of the question. Pet sitting is too, we already have way too many animals in our house as it is.
Ehh...if I could get a regular like...fast food job I think I could get over my anxiety/phobia to do it..but yeah. I'm only 15.
My mom wants me to get a part time job to raise money for a trip to NY that I'm going on, something I've been planning for a long time and shes JUST NOW requiring me to get a job.
Any suggestions? Dx
Hi, I'm really glad I saw your question. I am 16 years old, and I also have trouble talking to people. Like you, I would like a job this summer, so I will tell you a few ideas I am considering.
Do you like gardening? If so, maybe you could mail flyers to your neighbors asking if they need someone to water their plants while they are away on vacation. This is a good idea because you will have a little social interaction with your clients, but you won't see them much while you are actually working.
You also said that you would like something to help you get over your anxiety. Maybe you and a few friends could plan parties for kids. This is a great way to make money, especially if you are creative and like doing this sort of thing. You could buy party favors, plan a theme, find entertainers, everything (but your clients would pay for it. Just make sure they approve the cost). This is a very fun way to make money.
I know you said you have anxiety with people, but maybe working one-on-one with someone is ok? For, me this doesn't cause a lot of anxiety. So one of the things I was considering is tutoring kids my age or younger with things they are struggling with. Or, if you have a hobby or special thing you know how to do, you could advertise private lessons.
I know this doesn't have anything to do with your question, but since you mentioned your anxiety with people, I would check out Social Anxiety Disorder, aka Social Phobia. I'm not trying to diagnose you, it's just something to look into. I will give you a brief summary. It is the extreme fear of being judged by others. Many people avoid social situations whenever possible or endure them with lots of anxiety. When in a social situation, symptoms include sweaty palms, rapid heart rate, and in some cases a panic attack. If you suspect you have it, talk to your parents or a school psychologist (it's hard, I know. I'm still working up the courage :) ). Or you could get a book on it. Treatments usually include cognitive therapy and/or medicine that helps to make you less nervous. Don't be ashamed if you have this problem. It is estimated that 1/10 people have it.
Good luck with everything, and if you ever want to talk, my Yahoo Messenger screen name is manateelover141. Or you could just send me a message on this site. :)
~Hannah :)