|
I'm moving out of province
Okay , me and my boyfriend love eachother sooo much and we're totally commited.Problem is , my parents are spliting up and I have to move to Newfoundland [I live in Ontario now] and we're going to try to stay together.I will be coming to Ontario 1-3 times a year and I'll see him everytime.Okay so also , I'm 13 and he's gonna be 15 in January.He's not a virgin [he did it 1 time that's it] and I am a virgin but I am thinking about doing something like that...please if you're going to lecture me give me an answer to.I want to give him something soo sentimental , but I don't have anymoney.AND if I am going to give him my viginity then it will be cuz I was thinking about it anyways , not just cuz I'm leaving !! THANKSS IN ADVANCE !!!!!!
13/female
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
When it comes to sex you have to think about a few important things. First of all you can get pregnant. If you got pregnant at 13 what would you, this boy and your family do?
You don't have the education or financial resources or the maturity of someone twice your age to handle that yet. Condoms are not 100% fool-proof either. If you had sex you would need them plus another form of birthcontrol to be safe.
Sex is also about a lasting emotional connection with your partner and is more than a physical act. In the end you want to have it with someone that shares this connection with you and will for some time.
If you had sex with this boy and then moved to another province only seeing him a maximum of three times per year what is to say he wouldn't forget you after another girl comes into his life? You really have to ask yourself is all this worth it?
Sex can wait until you are mentally and physically ready for it later on in life. Don't rush into doing it as you might regret doing it so young and believe me 13 is very young for this when you should have waited to be older and with someone else like your husband or committed partner.
I think what you ought to do is have a farewell dinner (candelit) exchange bracelets with one another or something to that affect and have a romantic evening without the sex and let eachother know how much you meant to eachother.
That should be sentimental enough especially if you do all the cooking and arranging and make it a surprise. You don't need a lot nor any money to do that.
However, if you do decide to have sex be sure to be protected and understand the consequences and accept them before proceeding but yes 13 is in my opinion too young for this.
There's a difference in mentality and maturity between a 15-year-old and a 13-year-old so the fact he was ready at that age may not necessairly mean you are yet. Take things slow as there's lots of time to have sex.
Perhaps if you wait a little longer, mature and you return to Ontario in the future you might be more ready for this than you appear now. I would wait.
]
I would not give him your virginity.
Make him something instead. Because you're only 13 and you've got your entire life ahead of you =]
Home made gifts are always sentimental.
- Make him a scrapbook with pictures and details of your relationship.
- Make him a mix cd of love songs (I could give you a ton if you decide to do this).
- Make him a little book of coupons. Like "2 free hugs". Kinda cheesy, but cute.
- Make him a book, filled with words that you feel describe him. I read this on a website, and the guy loved it.
Or, the night before you leave. Do something really nice & special.
- Go out to dinner, then come home and watch a romantic movie.
- Lay out and look at the stars.
- Go to your favorite place, or the place you first went on a date/met.
I hope this helps & let me know if you need more help =]
<3 Laura.
]
If you are going to give him your virginity make sure that he really loves you and that you really love him. And dont think of this as a lecture because I encourage you to give him something. However if you do give away your virginity then make sure that it is really romantic (candles, silk, roses) kinda thing. Well the roses are a little extreme but you should totally make it a suprise for him.... but tell him to be ready for a big suprise... he will totally love it!
Please rate and leave comments... thank you
p.s. dont feel bad about long distance relationships but try talking to your parents becuase I have had to move but after i told my parents how much i loved this kid then they relized that they should do what sright for me and him!!! You should try it... what do you have to loose :) I hope that my advice works and email me back saying what you decide please
]
Hey, this is a common problem, but it is also very difficult when two people are committed to each other. I hope everything goes well, and here is my advice:
I think that it is great that you and your boyfriend are trying to stay together. Why ruin something that works without giving it a chance? Sometimes, adversity can cause relationships to become stronger. However, while keeping this in mind, you must remember that long-distance relationships are often hard. I think it is great that you will be able to see each other a few times a year, but even though it may be hard to believe, you must accept the possibility that it might not work out. I'm not saying to give up, but you must be prepared for that possibility so you will be able to handle it if it happens.
I know this sounds cliché, but it is true: you must not give up your virginity for him. You have so much to look forward to in life. He may be a great guy, but this relationship might not last and if you give up your virginity for him, you may feel guilty when the right guy does come along. If he really is the right guy, then you will have plenty of time in the future for all of this. Plus, the possibility of pregnancy and STDs. Even if you take birth control, you could still get an STD. Since he is not a virgin, it is possible. STDs such as Chlamydia do not show any symptoms but can produce comsequences that can't be reversed. For example, it can cause you to not be able to have children. If your boyfriend used a condom, it could break. What would you do if you got pregnant? Since you are moving away, it would be hard for the baby to see its father. Are you and your boyfriend both financially and emotionally ready to handle such a large resposibility? Are you ready to make the choice between abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby? You are at a time in your life where you still need care from your parents. Even though you have some independence, if you didn't have an adult guardian, it would be very difficult for you to live comfortably. It is almost impossible for a teenager to find a job to support a baby, let alone herself.
There are plenty of sentimental gifts you could get him. Since you believe that you are in love and totally committed to each other, you must have been together for a long time and spent a lot of time together. Maybe you have special memories or inside jokes. Could you get him a gift like that? Maybe a scrapbook of you two together? Adding in a gift like his favorite candy will be great. You could give these gifts on a date that celebrates all the time you have had with each other and all the hope you have for the future. I'm sure you can come up with something that is special.
A final note: if you were really ready to give up your virginity to your boyfriend, you would not be asking this question. You would know that it is the right decision for you. I think that you may be asking it so that someone can tell you what you already know: that it isn't the right decision at this time. Trust your instinct! You are smart and I am sure that you know the decision you have to make. :)
Good luck with everything. I give you my best wishes for you and your boyfriend, no matter what path your relationship takes. I also hope that you enjoy your new home and that the move is easy for you.
Best wishes,
Hannah
]
More Questions: |