|
Lesbians! or the lack thereof
15/f here.
Recently I was crushing on someone who might have worked out. I talked to their female friend, came out to them and had a long discussion on -AIM- about stuff. Turns out the friend is a lesbian, too.
Told her about the crush on her friend, and she told me a load of irritating personality traits and all, and so I've basically decided this crush will end up crushing me if I decide to go after her because of sheer incompatibility, and the fact that she's pretty much asexual..
Now I've gotten the first few warning signs from myself that I might be falling for her. Which is sort of sleazy considering the fact I liked her friend to begin with. I'm not one of those lusty people (ok, RARELY), and I always have strong emotional ties.
Would it be a bad thing to go after her? Share any thoughts or ideas, please.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hi,
First, know that everyone falls for people that they have almost no chance of having a long-term successful relationship with. That's normal. :) And as for liking both her and her friend, I don't think it is sleazy unless you are going out with them. :)
There are two sides to this, and it all depends on how you feel. I will tell you both of them, and you can decide which on suits you more.
If you really believe that the relationship won't work out, then maybe it is better if you don't pursue it. But I don't know what personality traits she has, so I don't know if it is something you could get around easily. Even though you like her a lot, if you really believe that it won't work out, it probably isn't worth it for you.
However, if you would like to risk it, and the personality traits are easier to get around or ignore, then I would say go for it. Unless she is known to do something really bad, like cheating on people, you don't have much to lose. If you break up, you will get hurt, but that happens in many relationships.
Another thing I want you to ask yourself... why is her friend saying all these bad things about her? Is it possible that they are in a fight and her friend is gossiping about her?
I know it is a little short, but that's all I have for you now. Just know what is important to you and go from there. Do you want to leave things as they are or see if you can make it work? Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck. Don't hesitate to write back if you need anything.
-Hannah
P.S. I am also of the GLBT community, so if you ever have any questions about anything else or if you simply need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message or e-mail me sometime! :)
]
dont be afraid to reach out to the first girl you liked. even though you think you guys may clash you would be surprised how much opposites attract. but if you really do like this new girl then just talk to her and explain how much you have grown to like her. let her know that you dont usually go from girl to girl so quickly but that you just really started to like her. alls i can say is follow your heart and do what you know is write.
]
More Questions: |