A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Aight. Im fourteen (girl) my bf is sixteen (boy). Haha, so we've been dating for almost six months, and I love him to death but it seems like things are kind of fizzled... Like we still love eachother and our feelings are strong, it just seems... off... I can't even explain it. It's like its just not new.. It seems like when we hang out we just result to the physical stuff everytime to keep things interesting, for the moment... We've hit third base (but no oral) and I probably won't hit oral or anything past. But I don't wanna spice things up like that anyways... He doesn't like the whole cutsie note and gift leaving thing and nor do I... I just want it to be fun and new and exciting again. How do we do this?? (link)
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You move to the next step of relationships, sharing things.
Things aren't new forever. Its inevitable, the newness always wears off. And when it does, its important that there are things there to replace it. This is where friendship, love, shared interests, and sex take over.
The couples that stay together are the ones who are basically best friends who have sex. When you hit the truly adult relationship area (like thinking about settling down with a mortgage adult) things work a little differently. Your partner is not supposed to be the source of your new and exciting life experiences, they're the person you go out and share new and exciting life experiences with.
Its a choice. You can't get back the honeymoon phase, but you can move past it to something just as good (if not better). If you aren't ready for something that serious (which is just fine at your age) that just means you should date around some more and not necessarily only date the one guy.
Sometimes the excitement wears off and there's nothing else to go on, and in those times its better to recognize that its not going anywhere and break up before you start fighting.
Take some time. Think about it. Do you want to get serious with this guy, or do you find yourself looking around? If you aren't feeling serious, then don't be serious. You're 99.999% not likely to marry anyone you date right now (and the same percentage chance that it would be a mistake if you did) so just date around a bit. Spend time with different guys and see what you like about guys you're with, what kind of people you mesh well with and don't.
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Lets say a girl loses their virginity to a guy, is it wrong for her to stop talking to him for a while? How long is too long? How about like 3 weeks? And what impression does the girl give off by not talking to him? And how does or could the guy feel? (link)
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Everyone has a right to behave in whatever way they see fit.
Not talking to someone for three weeks would more than likely turn you into a selfish bitch, however. Assuming this wasn't a casual one nighter, you should assume that you're both kind of mentally reeling. You just slept together for the first time, might be dating, etc.
Look at it this way. If you were feeling insecure about intimacy and really wanted to talk to a guy, and he walked away for three weeks and ignored you to take his personal space, would you be happy sitting there waiting for him?
Probably not. Part of being in relationships is learning to balance needs and take each other's needs into account.
Reactions? If the guy likes you, he's going to feel used, and he's going to feel like you don't give a shit. If he doesn't know you, he might or might not care. You haven't given us enough context to really tell, who is this guy? What is he to you? Boyfriend? Close friend you were comfy enough to sleep with? Are you attracted to each other? Do you know each other's names? Stuff like that.
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I am a redhead and grew up hating it because I was different than the rest of my family. I never felt like I fit in at all. I love it now, but back then, I wanted to dye it brown so that I would be like everyone else.
Well now I have an almost-3-year-old son who has sandy brown/blonde hair and a 5.5 month old son whose hair matches mine perfectly. I knew that someday people would start commenting, but I didnt realize it would be so soon. We went to the doctors office and she said to my 5 month old "look at that hair!" and then to my 3 year old "where's your red hair?" He didnt understand (he did say "I dont know") but I know that, one of these days, he's going to feel like people are saying that he doesnt belong with us and they are singling him out for being different.
I dont necessarily want to be rude back, but I do want for these people to know that they are being rude. I want something that will be appropriate for him to say in later years too.
The only thing I can come up with is something like "I shared" which doesnt nearly get the point across. I dont know what kind of response these idiots are looking for anyways. They just say things like this to make the person uncomfortable. They deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable/stupid in return. (link)
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You're making a mountain out of a molehill. And you're projecting your own childhood insecurities onto your son. He does not need protecting from the things you were afraid of as a kid that you can look back and realize were inconsequential. You are being a helicopter parent.
Plus, he's a boy. He's not going to give two shits. Neither should you. The biggest thing here, is that if you protect him from stupid crap like this he's going to learn to be worried and concerned about it, and he's going to feel different because you made him sensitive to it. Kids are sponges, they absorb things from their parents.
Don't let him absorb fear, and don't let him see you "protecting him from being different". Its just going to make him wonder why he needs to be protected in the first place down the line, make him wonder if he actually is different.
:Edit:
Its not my fault that you're beyond rational logic. If you'd like to avoid time wasting in the future perhaps you should not pose questions to which you do not want real answers?
They're not being rude. You're oversensitive and you're going to damage your kid when it rubs off on them. Have fun raising children with anxiety problems.
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if you best friend of 3 years made ur boyfriend breakup w/ you for her what would you do? (link)
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Honestly, it depends alot on specifics of the situation. But then, depending on what goes on I can be very forgiving or a harsh unrepentant asshole.
Your question contains little detail but from what you said it sounds like you had been dating the guy more than 6 months, long enough to be legitimately invested in each other, and she poisoned the relationship and stole him.
If thats the case, he's an idiot and she's a bitch, and at least you found it all out at one time so you can ignore them both from now on. I don't know how girls work in that area, but alot of guys (me included) follow guy code. You do not poach your buddy's girl.
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I alwaaays fear that i have a heart condition even though i am pefecttttly healthy ! i always fear that something will happen, in this case, i always feel my pulse. everytime i feel it, it's upbeat. i think it's because of my anxiety. i have BAD anxiety. are there any solutions to calm yourself down or are there any ways to get my mind off of it & to let me know that i am ok and that everything will be okay? (link)
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A practiced mental exercise.
Find some time when you can be alone and get silence. As complete silence as possible.
Sit down somewhere comfortable, preferably somewhere you are sitting upright without back support. Close your eyes, and breathe slow and deep.
Now clear your mind. Try to focus on nothing, breath calmly and just empty your mind to a completely calm and emotionally level state. Feel your heartbeat slow as your body relaxes, and try to hold the calm empty you feel.
Practice this daily. At least once, try to find your calm place and hold it a little longer than the day before. During the day, when stressed, try to find that calm place again.
Anxiety is not an instant phenomenon. Its a building process, you cycle yourself through thought processes while it builds to a level that becomes a panic attack. If you can stop yourself at the beginning, empty yourself out for a few seconds, and essentially reboot you can control and with time and discipline reduce or eliminate alot of anxiety related problems.
What you're doing now is to reason with yourself. You let your mind do what it wants to do, and you try to tell it that everything will be OK. Its your mind, and your body. People ignore or under empahsize the links between body and mind, control of one helps control the other. Through practice you can feel and find that calm spot inside yourself more quickly and easily, and its a good weapon to use against yourself when you're freaking out.
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I was married back last June to my wonderful husband. We dated for a couple of years and everything was just like the perfect fairytales you hear about. I know fairytales aren't true though...
My problem is that I have no sexual desire or drive. I don't really care if we have sex or not. I'm fulfilled in all ways without sexual interaction. I don't "get horny" and I've never had ANY desire to even masturbate. We've had sex before but it's not pleasurable for me at all (it isn't painful or anyting either).
My husband is concerned as to why we never have sex. We've been married all of this time and we've had sex just a handful of times (maybe 4 times total). I know that he desires sex and I want him to be fulfilled but it's strange for me.
How do I tell my husband that I don't have sexual feelings? I need to explain to him that the reason I'm never turned-on is because I simply don't GET turned-on by anything at all, ever. He deserves to know why I never desire sex with him, I understand, but I don't know how to tell him this without sounding like a freak. It really isn't him at all, it's me.
We've had a few slight arguments about sex recently because of my disinterest. Since I never think of it, I cannot predict when he might be interested in it. It isn't that I'm not attracted to him either...I think he's a wonderful man inside and out. I just...don't care about sex? I don't want it, really? Should I see a doctor about this because surely it isn't normal, right? Help? (link)
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This is somewhat abnormal. Like, chemical imbalance is the possible cause abnormal. Sex drive, even in small amounts, should always be there. If nothing else, its biological instinct for the perpetuation of the species.
See a doctor. No idea what would work in terms of specialties but your gyno and general practitioner are good places to start.
If nothing else, they have a female version of Viagra which engages the sex drive. I don't know enough about it to tell you that it would fix the problem for sure, but there's a good chance that one little pill could give you the drive you've never found before.
Set an appointment, I'd be amazed if there wasn't something that could be done about this.
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Is sex during pregnancy safe or not? Should we have sex during pregnancy or not?
I'm pregnant for the first time and I'm concerned about the effects of having sex while pregnant. What is safe and what isn't? Will it hurt my baby if I have sex with my partner? Will I lose my baby if we have sex? (link)
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Generally safe and somewhat recommended (because of the stress relieving properties of intimacy with your partner) for pregnant women. Focus on positions which do not put pressure on your stomach. Lying on your side is perfect for this, there are plenty of websites that will give you more detail. As you get along, sex will be a bit more tricky when your stomach pokes out, but its still perfectly safe and just as good for the two of you. Just take things a bit more slowly and gently until you've got a new kid in the house.
But trust me, get in what you can now. There's a good chance you won't get much of a chance for the next 6 months after the kid arrives.
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Okay, so.. I wish there was a category that combined mental health and sexual issues.
Anyway. I'm a physically healthy female who just turned 21 in February, college student, straight edge, and resposible with all my many chores. But, I've always had problems with sex; no, it's not like I was or am unable to have it, it's just that I want it for the wrong reasons.
Long story short, I had a really, really bad childhood with mixtures of child abuse as well as sexual abuse and now I kind of search for an answer to why a man would want to do such things.
So, I hate men and I generally fear them, but I have this terrible obsession for them. Like, I'll see a guy who looks like he would jump at a chance to take advantage of a girl and have a lack of care for her emotional state and want to punch him square in the face and have sex with him at the same time. I have this situation with one sort of.. Well, I suppose a lover of sorts. He doesn't know it at all, and I'd prefer him not to know it since he thinks I don't have a brain in my skull, but I've always wondered what was wrong with me.
I mean, I was in a seriously loving relationship for four years and my ex loved me with every bit of him. But, I ended up messing it up completely because he actually FELT emotions for me whereas I couldn't completely feel comfortable with him because I knew he cared for me. I wanted to analyze him and all he did was show me how much he loved me. I was a HUGE idiot basically. I still talk to him everyday and we both laugh and joke.
I'd love, and would give anything, to feel some sort of emotion besides lust, desire, and anger to make things better.
I mean, I try to socialize myself now since I was never properly socialized when I was a child, but I just don't understand communication or how my actions or words affect another person, yet I'm sensitive as all hell.
What's wrong with me? (link)
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You were damaged by past experiences. The answer to your question is therapy, there are issues that are too complex for any one person to sort in a reasonable time frame, and this would be one of them.
There are many answers to your question of why. The bottom line is that some people see others around them as objects, buttons and levers to be manipulated to get what they want. Whether the person sees everyone like this, or merely works from this perspective in the moment, this is a key component of the kinds of people who do what happened to you.
There's nothing wrong with you. You're behind, thats all. I understand that better than you'd think, because while my childhood experiences differed vastly from yours the net effect was the same. I graduated from high school and went to college with the emotional maturity of a 12 year old in alot of ways. I'm in my mid 20s now and I kinda feel like I'm working my way past the late teens.
Again, therapy is one answer. Talk to one, talk to several and find one you can trust. Given your issues, a woman is the obvious choice at least to start with. The other answer is hope. You're a bit broken, and the things that made you broken will always be a part of who you are. But you don't have to stay broken.
Think of it this way (I do) are you going to let the people who fucked you up destroy your life? Or are you going to put it behind you, shake the dust of those assholes off your feet, and move on?
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Hello! Here's the introduction: 17 (almost 18)/female and my boyfriend is the same... except male...
So, we have a real problem. With lots of little problems interspersed. My boyfriend and I have been together for just under a year and we believe we truly are in love. We have a very stable relationship and have tons of fun. However, as it is being in most relationships, we want to have sex. We've had sex twice before and it was AMAZING! Better than either of us expected, lol... but now... Now we can never ever seem to find the time/privacy to do it. There are so many problems that prevent us from doing it!
1. My parents work from home so they're basically ALWAYS home.
2. His parents don't trust us to be in a room alone when they're in the house, much less when they're gone.
3. He has a 4 little brothers that follow us around everywhere. I adore them... but they never leave us alone!
4. I drive, but I don't have a car and my boyfriend doesn't drive because of an accident he had when he was 15.
See?! Everything that could prevent us is put into play. It's so messed up. The two times we had sex were under fluke circumstances that probably can never be created again. What do we do? I don't think we can wait til we're in college because that's still about 6 months away... (link)
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You claim to be 17, however in your about the questioner it says that you are 13 years of age. It is not kosher to give kids your age advice on sex, as it falls loosely under the criminal heading of corrupting a minor.
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im doing acid for the 1st time on friday. i will take it proabaly around 7pm. i have work the next day at 3pm. do you think i will be completetly back to normal by then? (link)
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Lord. How many times do people have to say it? This is not a drug forum!
That said, no, you will not. Acid trips generally last 8-12 hours, at the end of which you generally crash for 8 or more hours. Its possible you wouldn't have slept, which means you still won't be anywhere near normal because the trip doesn't fully stop until you get some sleep.
That said, let me share a story I posted on another question a day or two ago.
My friends name will be Joe. The name is fake, but the story is very real.
Joke took psychadelics. It was his first time, and he took a pretty low dose to test the waters. He stayed home in the dorm with some friends who all took the same thing. Most of them had a good night. Joe looked up at some point after everything kicked in for him and realized that everyone in the room but him was burning to death. He sat on the bed as his friends screamed in pain around him. His response to this was to freak out, strip naked, and start destroying the furniture in his room.
An aside. I'm about 6'2, and 280, former football player. Imagine a hairless grizzly bear with a goatee, and you've got a fairly representational image of me. Joe was 5'10, probably about 170, limber and flexible but not brute force strong.
I could not control him. It took four of us to wrestle him to the ground, and when I talk about destroying the furniture, I mean that he pulled a wooden dresser apart with his bare hands. After an hour of us trying to restrain him as he bounded around the room like a chimp who just did five lines of coke, he got away from us, jumped off his second floor balcony, and then ran down the street, naked with his ankle now broken from the jump, screaming "911!" "911!"
He went to the hospital. Had alot of splinters. Saw pink elephants.
This could be you. And yes, every single part of what I just told you happened.
A last note.
Most of the side effects you hear associated with acid are misinformation and ignorance. The truth is, that a single standard hit of acid is about 20 micro grams, meaning a gram of acid has about twenty thousand hits in it. The actual overdose level for acid where it becomes physically poisonous to the body is somewhere around several grams taken all at once. It would take thousands upon thousands of hits to actually cause any physical damage to the body just from taking it.
The mind is another story. Acid distorts your perceptions of reality and in sufficient doses or on a person not fully mentally stable (which you can't really tell for yourself if you are or not until you've taken the hits and ridden out a trip) you could very well fuck up reality as you know it.
That's not a joke. Another story. Gary. Gary loved drugs, and sold them. He was a nice guy who basically handed money and drugs out to people as his way of expressing friendship. He got ahold of a vial of acid one night and started dosing anyone who felt like it, taking a hit himself now and then. I don't know how much he consumed, but it wasn't too much more than he usually does considering how many people he fed acid that night.
Gary never came back from that trip. He'd done it plenty before and always been fine, but whether it was one trip too much for his mind, or he had some other problems that bubbled to the surface, Gary went off the deep end. He became convinced that he was a messiah sent to rescue the dorm we lived in from the corporation, and vowed to sell enough drugs to buy the place and turn it into a little drug Disney Land where he and his friends could live in peace and join the Rainbow family. The last I heard of him he was living with his grandma in Oregon and is still clinically insane.
Acid also remains in small amounts in the spinal column. The "Acid flashbacks" you've heard about are very, very real. It varies from person to person, but most people who take it eventually have flashbacks, and so it does present something of a danger from there on. Its why they use a spinal tap drug test on pilots, can't afford for someone to sink into a 30 second acid trip in the middle of a flight full of paying customers.
This isn't Dare anti-drug propaganda or anything else of the sort. This is experience telling you that you are quite literally holding your life and your sanity in your hand and then deciding to put both of them down and walk away for a while when you drop acid.
No one can promise you you'll be able to pick either back up when you're done.
If you choose to take it, give yourself two days to recover at the very least. I promise you'll need that much time.
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For starters I'm a 17 year old female and i'm going to Europe in June with my friends for our senior trip.
I'm trying to figure out what i should wear over there. Our trip consists of England, France, Switzerland, Italy, Greece and then a cruise around the Pompeii island.
I know that i'm going to want to wear comfortable clothes because of all the walking around i'm going to be doing, but do you have any specific ideas of what i should wear?
I just bought a cute sundress and jean jacket from american eagle, but i have no idea what else to buy and what kind of shoes to get either!
Please help!
Thank you! :) (link)
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Teens in Europe...
I'm a guy, so I've no fashion advice to offer. But if you haven't seen it yet, watch Taken.
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I think my friend is bi. She has had boyfriends in the past but I feel like she is kinda interested in me. It's weird, we hang out on weekends with other girls and she's fine but in school, it's me me me. I feel her looking at me when I look somewhere else and she texts me ALL THE TIME. Not even kidding. She was in school taking a chemistry test and she texted me saying she couldn't figure out the answer. Like, seriously, your taking a test, why are you texting me? It's like she has no life that's how much she texts me. She always asks what I'm wearing the next day and I'll go to school and she'll be wearing the same thing, like jeans and plaid. It's creeping me out. What should I think about this? What do you think? thanks! (link)
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Hero worship sounds more likely than bisexuality.
Ever heard the phrase "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"?
She admires you on some level, and seeks to make herself more like you. This is a pretty normal thing to do in small doses, as often and as much as she's copying you you would not be amiss in talking to her about it.
Be up front. Its obvious you're never going to be best friends, so the best bet is a little gentle honesty that upsets her just a bit to hear. Things like "you're smothering me" and "I need space" and "it bothers me when you try to copy me, because I like being my own individual and I think you should give it a try"
Be prepared. People who do this are always insecure, and in telling her to stop you're going to poke her in her insecurity. Its possible you could still be friends, then again its possible she'll freak out a bit and start bad mouthing you. Girls are unpredictable that way (as I'm sure you know from personal experience)
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I'm 18. I'm in high school. A high school for the GIFTED, actually, and yet half the kids in my school don't know the difference between "their" and "they're", "your"/"you're", "to"/"too", etc. And, well, neither does the rest of teenage America.
What the fuck? What HAPPENED. What the hell is wrong with this country that we can't learn grammatical laws that have been introduced to is in, what, second grade? Has having cell phones permanently put kids in "typin like dis lol" mode? (link)
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Pop culture. People with a tiny bit of confidence telling those with no confidence what is cool and creating massive trends in idiocy.
I'm 25, I've been thinking the same things for years. It only gets worse from here. Just wait until you enter a workforce full of these people.
Honestly, its the baby boomers fault. Half of them grew up scared of communists and obsessed with money, the other half were too busy dropping acid at Woodstock to stop the first. And now we've got an entire generation raised on consumerism, cultural imperialism, and convenience centered thinking.
That's the best I can do without writing you a book.
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Okay So Me And This Guyy Have Hadd Sexx A Couple Times And We NEVER Use A Condom. But Theres No Need Forr A Condom If He NEVER Cums, Righhtt?
I Askked Him Why He Neverr Cums And He Saidd "I Cann Handle Mines" ;
Is That Evenn Possible? Cann Youu Reallyy Stopp Yourselff From Cumingg?
His Friendd Toldd Me It's Because He Doesn't Have Balls. But I Thinkk He's Just Sayingg That To Mess Aroundd. But At The Same Time I Kindaa Believe It. But I'm Not Sure If It's Possible For A Guyy Not To Have Balls.
Andd I Know I Shouldd Knoww If I Hadd Sexx Withh Him Like More Thenn 10 Times But I've Neverr Actaullyy Payedd Attentionn. (link)
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If you don't notice if he has balls or not, you certainly won't notice if he actually cums in you or not.
You are too young to be having sex. There is nothing more to be said. You aren't ready for this in any way, shape, or form. You don't know enough about any of the aspects of sexuality, intimacy, or for Gods sake human anatomy to be out there playing with all of it casually.
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So my boyfriend and I havent had sex for over 2 months. Its not that I dont want to have sex with him, its just that I dont want to just have sex anywhere. He is constantly reminding me that we havent had sex. Today we got into a huge arguement because we werent gonna be able to see eachother and he ended up telling me that he cant take it aymore and that if im not going to have sex with him, then he's going to get it from someone else. A few hours later he text me and told me that he was sorry, yet he doesnt want to talk about what was said. He called me after asking me if I like Guess purses and I said yes, but i don't want him to think that he can just buy me something and its going to change what was said. I really don't know what to do anymore and I need help on what this relationship will be like if things stay the way they are. Please comment. Thank You very much! (link)
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I have to disagree somewhat with the long post below me. His off the cuff assholeish comment was definitely out of line, and you should let him know that it was unacceptable for him to threaten things like that within the relationship, and if it happens again he can expect to not have sex with you ever again.
That said. You need to understand how guys work. Men fulfill alot of their emotional needs with physical intimacy. This is not a cop-out to say that guys are just horny. We are constantly horny, but horny is not always the dominant or even a truly significant part of our drive for sex in the moment.
A sudden decrease or cessation of sexual contact can leave a partner (of either sex) feeling cut off from a normal and needed source of affection. Sexual needs are very real in both sexes, and the combined frustration, emotional disconnection, and apparent helplessness he felt in the situation generated the reaction you saw.
It was immature, but it was not born of immaturity. It was a very real adult relationship problem wrapped up in a guy who hasn't learned how to express himself in a respectful adult manner.
Sit him down. Shut him up. Tell him that he screwed up, and you have forgiven him for it (because you know you already have) but that its unacceptable for him to do that in the future.
Then talk about sex. Talk about having it and not having it. Express to him in concrete terms that you still want him, because I can guarantee you that after two months he's feeling insecure.
You're also going to have to explain how women work, because guys don't get it right off. None of you make logical sense 100 percent of the time, and you need to give him a few pointers so he doesn't get the wires crossed. Tell him what you want out of sex and what you don't, and try to give him opportunities. The hardest thing for a guy is reading girls and figuring out when its ok to make advances and when we need to back off and just be available for affection.
If you can clue him in better to when you're receptive, what's appropriate, etc it will help you both get what you want more often. If he's trying to have sex in the moment and thats not cool, then arrange a moment when it IS cool. You've both failed to communicate with each other effectively.
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sooo im gonna do shrooms for my first time on friday with 2 friends when we go to see alice in wonderland. i just want to know what its going to feel like and if im going to like be able to control myself and stuff ya know? oh and what it does to you in the long run thanks! (link)
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This website is not a forum for advice on psychedelics, or drugs in general. Sadly, this limits my responses by a necessarily wide margin.
What I can tell you is that this is a horrible idea. Psychedelics mess with your reality in ways you cannot predict, and they are very different for every person. That said, no one can promise that you will be able to tell where you are, much less that you'll behave in such a way that everyone in the room is oblivious to the fact that you're on drugs. Its difficult to give you warnings without experience, so let me share a horror story.
My friends name will be Joe. The name is fake, but the story is very real.
Joke took psychadelics. It was his first time, and he took a pretty low dose to test the waters. He stayed home in the dorm with some friends who all took the same thing. Most of them had a good night. Joe looked up at some point after everything kicked in for him and realized that everyone in the room but him was burning to death. He sat on the bed as his friends screamed in pain around him. His response to this was to freak out, strip naked, and start destroying the furniture in his room.
An aside. I'm about 6'2, and 280, former football player. Imagine a hairless grizzly bear with a goatee, and you've got a fairly representational image of me. Joe was 5'10, probably about 170, limber and flexible but not brute force strong.
I could not control him. It took four of us to wrestle him to the ground, and when I talk about destroying the furniture, I mean that he pulled a wooden dresser apart with his bare hands. After an hour of us trying to restrain him as he bounded around the room like a chimp who just did five lines of coke, he got away from us, jumped off his second floor balcony, and then ran down the street, naked with his ankle now broken from the jump, screaming "911!" "911!"
He went to the hospital. Had alot of splinters. Saw pink elephants.
This could be you. And yes, every single part of what I just told you happened.
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I used to have unprotected sex (while on birthcontrol ) a lot last year and the year before but my partner always pulled out on time and it never got inside me.I've been on birth control for 2 years and continue to take it daily,lately ive been more cautious about taking it at the same time everyday .Me and my boyfriend have had unprotected sex 3 times and one of the times he came in me (since it was his first time he didn't know how to control it) and the third time,he claimed he pulled out all the way,which i did witness most of it but i was scared some got in...should I be really worried? (link)
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Lucy is correct, and I agree with her in principle. There is always a chance of pregnancy, especially during the teen years when varied eating schedules, strange hormonal imbalances due to puberty, and a variety of psychiatrist proscribed medication can do all kinds of fucked up things to your birth control.
Condoms means you don't have issues later.
That said, birth control pills are 99% effective when used correctly in 99% of women. This is defined as preventing what otherwise would have been a pregnancy (in other words, he climaxes inside you within two days either way of your ovulation, etc). The chances that (given your adherence to the daily schedule) you are pregnant are absolutely miniscule.
Its also worth noting, if you went to a gyno and asked he would suggest some alternate forms of birth control.
A diaphragm is one of them, spermicide is another. Both are particularly helpful because while birth control deals with your body and its processes, these other two work directly against the sperm, providing essentially a second overlapping level of defense, which is the same function as a condom.
In monogamous relationships where disease is not a factor, methods other than condoms are just as sound when used in conjunction with birth control. After all, condoms have a failure rate too, and truthfully you're alot less likely to have a diaphragm (or spermicide) break. If you're curious about spermicide, in the same aisle as condoms you can find VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film). Just grab a box and read it, or google it. 80 something percent effective at preventing pregnancy with no other contraception, used with birth control its still two lines of defense.
If you decide to give it a try, I'd advise buying some lube, spermicide can sometimes dry you out just a bit. Astroglide is highly recommended (its the best, period)
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Soo my friendd is on birth control && she keeps tellingg me I shouldd get it too. Yes, I am sexuallyy active so I thinkk it wouldd be goodd forr me, but the onlyy problem is how cann I get birthh control withoutt my parents knowingg? Theyy wouldd FREAK ! (link)
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Plannedparenthood.org
There's a form on the front page to enter your zip code.
And while I have to express no small level of disquiet that you're 13 and having sex, at least you're being peer pressured to protect yourself.
Does that count as societal progress?
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I met a wonderful widow with 3 children, 12, 14 & 16. Her husband died from cancer a year ago. We've been dating for almost 9 months. I asked her to marry me after 5 months, she said yes. I found out that I have cancer 1 month after. It appears that this cancer I have is not a very treatable kind. I can prolong my life several yrs., but not much longer, unless I am the one in a million miracle. We have not told the children. It was very hard on them watching there father take 2 yrs to pass. I don't want to hurt them again. She said we will hide it until it's obvious. I'm not sure if I want to put 3 kids into another tragic relationship so soon to their past one. I've grown to love them. Should I break it off with her?, should I break it off with them?, I don't want to be the cause of tempering these wonderful people any further than they are. (link)
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God. I'm sorry. That's really fucked up for everyone involved, especially you. Let me take a second and recognize the thoughtfulness with which you treat those around you, because you come across as a very admirable person.
That said...
Talk to her again. Pose her these questions yourself. Let her tell you she doesn't want you to go.
Noble self sacrifice is an admirable motivation, but often it does no one any good. The woman has agreed to be your wife, and if you and her kids are bonding then they're all losing you whether you leave or not. You can spend the time you have left agonizing over the pain they will suffer when you're gone or you can spend whatever time you have left trying to make the most significant positive impact on their memories you can to counterbalance your loss later.
Loss is a part of life. Its sad that you have to be associated with it, but they lose no matter what. So stop focusing on loss and make your attitude about gain.
And lastly. Stop feeling guilty because you got cancer. Its not your damned fault that this happened to you, and its not your fault for living your life and finding love in a widow with three kids before finding out about cancer. You didn't do anything wrong so get the notion that I can practically feel building in your head wherever you are that this situation is your fault and that you have to do something to fix it yourself for everyone else. I realize that you feel out of control right now. Asserting yourself by leaving the woman you love is not the right way to go about regaining your life.
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I have a question. Would anyone try a 69er?
My bf of 11 months now brought it up (we're dating online of coruse) He never brought this up before till just a few minutes ago.
Am i being a prude for not wanting to try 69er? (link)
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There are very few things that you can learn from porn that are in any way erotic or fun when recreated at home. A 69 is one of those few things.
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