Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29741
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Hey im 15 and from Dublin.for the last year and a half i have been under incredible pressure to drink.because i refused at first i lost a lot of my social standing.my brother and sister started drinking at my age and are just fine.if i was to drink i would get drunk i want to drink socially.i would probably drink once/twice a month but very little.i have only found vague information about drinking effects online and im desperate to know what the consequences of light,social drinking will have on my brain.you have no idea the pressure im under at the moment.i dont want anyone telling me not to drink until im 17/18 because that is not going to happen.i just want to know some definate consequences to my brain.thank you (link)
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I'm sure there is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that occasional drinking in moderation causes any mental harm at all. Come to think of it I don't think alcohol has ever been linked to mental damage, but drinking heavily may be a symptom/way of handling of mental problems. Sustained heavy drinking will eventually damage your liver, but it's a very robust organ. We're talking serious, heavy drinking here, over a long period. It's dangerous because it's so robust and has no nerve-endings in itself, feels no 'pain' and so you don't know you've damged it until it's well & truly shot to bits. Might point out that I said I'd just have the occasional ciggie, socially..when I was out (you could smoke in clubs then!). I wouldn't end up smoking every day and all that...but I did...still do. 'Best laid plans of mice and men go oft astray' eh?? I doubt you'll addle your brain with booze...just get some filthy hang-over headaches! You can do some seriously unwise stuff when you're well and truly leathered though. We've all done it, it's just a matter of degree and whther they have long-term implications that's most important. I never think it makes us what we are NOT, more what we ARE but magnified. So a person who tends to be aggreessive by nature will tend to get 'fighting drunk'. I get giggly, incoherent but talk a lot regardless, and basically like everyone. We're all different. A shy person may become more outgoing, because they basically WANT to be more outgoing. In this respect, look at your 'socially' comment. If you're going to get oblivioned it's not a bad idea to have good, true friends around who will tend to look after you and stop you doing something you'll badly regret. Bit of 'damage limitation'. I've enjoyed a drink since about your age, and my parents would allow me to drink at home, with meals etc as they did. I'd roll home ratted sometimes, still do sometimes. Show me someone who hasn't!! But don't drop the reins. ps. Can honestly tell you I've NEVER driven a car drunk...very bad form indeed...and don't get in a car with a drunk driver. Again, good mates are 'best defence' here.
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theres tis quote "hate the sin,love the sinner" and ive been thinking about it,its a strange one,my interpretation is that the sin is something terrible that cant be undone,but the sinner he could change,find faith,become a good person. what do you think about it? :) just curious i guess...
ghostgirl7 ..... (link)
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It's good advice, as bearing a grudge against a person will keep you in victim-mode. Hating what they did, and not the person is generally a good thing to try and do. In the religious context, I beleive a cornerstone of the christian religion is that NOBODY is beyond redemption if they truly repent and find faith? Whatever they have done. So presumably even Hitler would have been forgiven if he had genuinely repented and found salvation in Christ? As an extreme example. The Catholic church has it's confessional and pennances as actual 'acts' that prove you repent. Now I'm sure that anyone in the Christian faith for example, will tell you the Bible is not there for interpretation but acceptance as hard fact. So I suppose you have to accept the fact that however deplorable the act, saving your soul is an option. Personally I have no religious conviction at all. But I think forgiving is the best course, because it liberates you mentally, whereas bearing animosity stops us 'letting it go' and getting on with our lives. And I think the idea that we should be able to acknowledge and move on from our own poor decisions, bad judgements and mistakes is a healthier idea than believing we are intrinsically 'evil' in some way and beyond the possibility of change. Could discuss this question all day and not get much nearer!!
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Hi guys so i know you cannot get pregnant from having anal sex but what if about 30 minutes later you go to the bathroom and his sperm comes out and you wipe it but you wipe forward? So the sperm touches your vagina and possibly went slightly inside but not deep or anything. Thank you for reading and responding!!! (link)
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Agree with your answers, very low-chance but not zero-chance. But I'd point out that you don't want to risk transfering anything from you back passage to your vagina accidentally. And make a definite 'rule' that the pair of you don't go straight from anal to vaginal sex. There's a good chance of cystitis. OK it's not fatal, but you'll feel very uncomfortable. So don't wipe 'forwards' and consider using a condom. Take care.
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now me and my boyfriend for the first time had sex twice last week, the 25th and the 27th, he used a condom and im pretty sure it didnt break. i usually get my period at the end of the month or the beginning.of the month, its now the 5th, and im kinda late. idk if i should worry, or not. it was my first time so idk! please some advice xxxxx (link)
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Hi there. Did he put the condom on before any sort of penetration happened? And did it stay on until after he'd come and withdrawn from you? If they break it's usually obvious. Millions of people use condoms every day and they are a highly effective way of preventing pregnancy. The odds are greatly in your favour. In fact the only more certain way to avoid pregnancy is not to have sex at all. There's lots of pressure first time, I know. You hear stories of condoms breaking...and fear of pregnancy is the big worry isn't it? They main cause of them breaking is having air trapped in them. He should make sure there's a little 'pouch' at the end to receive his semen, but it shouldn't have air in it (which makes it look like a little balloon). Of course if one does break you should stop immediately and use a new one. Your boyfriend is more likely to notice it splitting during sex, so make sure he understands this and agrees to it, however excited he's feeling won't you?
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Hello I'm a 15 year old girl , I have a lot on my mind but mostly my family my dad works out of province and mom mom works at my school , when ever my dad comes home he brings home a bunch of money but I feel that when its only my mom I feel broke and poor .... I would really love advice on how to tell my parents how a i feel (link)
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Dad's working hard to bring home the cash and keep a happy home. But think of what your mum's doing here. OK, maybe her wage isn't so big. But she's there for you. For all the little, and bigger day-to-day things. She's making you 'rich' in a way your dad would probably love to...but can't just at the moment because he's out earning the cash. At fifteen you've probably got one foot in the adult world and one still in your childhood. So try to look at it from the adult side. We'd all like enough cash to do everything we need, most of what we like and have all the time in the world to enjoy doing it. But in 9 out of 10 cases there's a bit of compromise needed. When or if you discuss it with your parents try to keep yourself from accidentally taking sides or playing favourites. You're a unit, not three individuals. And that world of proiritising and compromising because we have to, isn't as 'crazy' as it might look at the moment.
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I'm a 15 year old female.I'm still a virgin. My boyfriend and I were messing around and he cummed after he jerked off, and he touched a little bit his cum. 5 or 10 minutes later his hands were dry and he touched a few objects and then tried to finger me, he only got up to my clit when I realized he had touched his cum before and didn't wash his hands so i smacked his hand away. Me and him have been freaking out all this week and I'm experiencing mood swings, a milky discharge, constipation, and I'm waiting on my period but I have it irregularly. Could I be pregnant from? it's only been a week. (link)
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Bacteria or viruses can exist on hands or objects which appear perfectly dry and clean, and can even be carried in minute water droplets (as you'd guess, someone with flu sneezes near you, catching it is a real possibility). Sperm, I assure you can ONLY live in those blobs of warm semen. If his hands were dry it's difficult to see how you could possibly be pregnant. It is possible to introduce semen and the sperm it contains into the vagina without a couple ' actually having sex' as it were. And it'll thrive in that warm, moist place...because it's meant to. So make sure he wipes his hands dry with a tissue or something, and you too if it's on yours before he fingers you. Or before you pop a finger inside yourself if that's relevant. There's no point spoiling the fun, and making yourself worry afterwards by taking even a tiny risk. Specially one you can take out of the picture with a few tissues mate!
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In high school,I have this attractive, 30 or maybe a bit younger something English teacher who wears dresses,skirts and heels and she always crosses her legs nicely when she sits down. She also seems to want to chat more with her male students. Is she trying to be flirty and get the attention of her male students? (link)
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Much better and safer to assume not. If the lads compete for her attention because she's a looker, naturally she'll spend more time responding to them. It's her job to interact with students. The girls may cold-shoulder her a little, they won't be blind to the male attention and general 'atmosphere' when she's around and could easily feel a bit overlooked and little envious. And so less likely to court her attention. The wish might be father to the thought here I reckon. Still, you can enjoy looking. I fancied my (English, coincidentally!) teacher like mad. She definitely knew, and handled it with brilliant tact and a great sense of humour. Awkward and embarrassing situations are probably a more likely outcome, so I'd let this one go. It doesn't sound like she's got to flirt anyway, she's already got the attention...
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I babysit his two boys, who are incredably sweet kids. Anyways, he asked if I wanted to have dinner sometime, just us. I am attracted to him, and he is really nice, it just never crossed my mind because of the age difference. I'm probably gonna give it a shot either way and just see how it goes, but I was wondering what someone who isn't involved would think. Is it a weird age difference or situation, from your perspective? Just curious really. (link)
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You're an adult at 21. The age gap is not what society at large would generally consider distasteful or inappropriate. Imagine a perfect outcome, he's the one. When you're 40 he'll be 50. Who'd raise an eyebrow? It would not preclude, or even 'make awkard' further children. I'd say take a look at the MENTAL/EMOTIONAL MATURITY angle. Do you share something like the same 'take' on life? Have similar interests? When you've been chatting and spending time with him, how have you felt? Like mates, or like he's one of your dad's mates? Obviosuly he has trust in you, or he would not give you the care of his children. Do you feel he speaks 'down' to your, or on a broadly equal footing? You know what answers you're looking for here, which boxes you want to be able to tick. Quite honestly, if you're getting a lot more positives than negatives you've got to give it a go. So far you like what you've seen, and you feel attracted to him. The age difference is not a signifcant barrier. Good luck.
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I'm a 13 year old girl and I was trying to take a pic of myself in front of a mirror. My hand hit the mirror, but it didn't break or crack or anything. I'm just scared that it broke and I just don't see it.. Sorry if this is a stupid question but I have a problem w/ my paranoia and I don't want bad luck ;(
P.S. This isn't a joke :( (link)
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Second that. I'm certain you can't break glass and not know it. You can see the slightest scratch on a mirror, in double!! And if it doesn't break there's no bad luck incurred. You got away with it...that's a bit of GOOD luck in itself right?? Do you know, back in the past people thought a mirror 'kept' a little bit of everything it had ever reflected? So breaking one was seriously unlucky. I reckon we all still hate breaking a mirror, so I know what you're saying. Stay lucky!
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Hi im an aussie girl who 13 years old turning 14.
What ive been wondering is why do i get turned on just by looking at a picture of my crush it freaks me out even talking about him turns me on. He does know this stuff happens and we both like each other but were not going out. PLEASE HELP!!!!! I wanna know why this happens. (link)
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Hiya mate! Well getting turned on is part mental and part physical, I figure you know that already eh? They're both there in the mix. Fact is, it's such a 'mix' that none of us can actually separate the two! So looking at his picture, thinking and chatting about him are enough to kick-start the whole process and nature takes its course, you might say. When you say 'why' is there a bit of an 'is it natural and OK to feel like this?' question in there? If there is, the answer's yes and yes! It would be a bit odd if you looked at his photo and thought 'Yuk...don't know why I fancy him' wouldn't it? Now I feel sure he gets a good feeling looking at a picture of you, or just thinking about you. But blokes are a bit reluctant to say stuff like that, a lot of us talk less about our feelings than you young ladies. You tell me he knows...well I bet you anything he feels flattered and basically chuffed to bits about that. And so he should! It all really hinges on the fact that you're growing up now. Bet a year or so ago you reckoned boys were pretty stupid and horrible things right? Couldn't imagine looking at one and feeling all loved-up? Don't get freaked out...you've got a whole lifetime of looking at guys stretching out in front of you. Who knows, you might be looking at future boyfriend material here already! No rush though, take it easy...and don't worry about it.
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I'm a girl , 17. So I talked to someone online tonight, and it started completely innocently. I didn't give any of my details out to him and we had a genuinely nice conversation. I don't know why, but the conversation started getting more sexual and it got reasonably full on (it wasn't his fault I kind of started it) - I guess I was feeling lonely?
Now afterwards I'm really regretting it and I feel really disgusting, like unclean. I feel like I've wasted my first time at something like this, and I basically feel like a bit of a slut. I've always thought people that do stuff like that are disgusting but now I feel like it myself. I don't want this to overtake my mind all the time because I feel guilty about it. I feel like I can never get my innocence back, how pathetic is that. (link)
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Hey! Come on mate! Words like guilty, unclean, disgusting and slut are simply out of place here. You've chatted sexy with a stranger on-line. It's no more than enjoying a raunchy fantasy in your mind. It's just a way of dealing with some strong feelings and urges, playing them out. Nice at the time, right? But when the heat's off you feel a little bit...you know?? Your human. It's 100% safe, 100% controlled and a completely harmless way to 'let off steam' as it were. Just like dreaming up a (usually far-fetched & ridiculous) way to get even with your boss when he gives you a hard time at work. Relax mate, slut you are NOT!! Disgusting...? Hardly appropriate when you think about it, is it?? Don't beat yourself up over it. I bet your net partner was thinking 'Wow...what a sexy babe she sounds'...and enjoyed it. Of course, don't EVER give details out It's a harmless 'fantasy' thing but reality can be very different.
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So I am almost at 700 followers on IG with only about 30+ photos and 100+ followers. Doesn't sound like much, but with that low of photos and me following and I am only 13, it's pretty good. Um I want to be able to make better photoshopped photos. Ones like these:
I want to have fonts like: http://extragr.am/zwag
photoshop like this: http://extragr.am/reignbow
http://extragr.am/lost_owl (link)
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Hi. Can't reply to your reply re. good camera but I'd like to, so answering via question I haven't answered. If the system don't work you won't know what I'm on about because its not 'you'. Well, there's a lot about but lets have a go in the budget you mention. A few years back the 'must have' compact among enthusiasts/hobby photographers was the Canon G9. At least, the well-heeled ones, it was about (8 to 900 US Dollars by my guess, 500 UK pounds at any rate). Tough metal body, flash hot-shoe and lovely SLR style 'real' buttons and command dials. (Those computer-style menus look pretty, but while you're scrolling through them to adjust your settings....the bird's flown mate and you've missed the shot!) Lovely image quality and feel like every penny of the cost in your hands. Now I had a look at KEH Camera (www.keh.com) and straight away saw 5 or so top condition used ones all from 150 to 200 US Dollars. How do you feel about used? You get a beautifully engineered, lot of camera for your cash. Not the latest, but one of the greatest in many opinions. When they were new my sister (doesn't shoot for money but loves world travel and likes taking pics) bought one, immediately gave it to me and said 'Play with that, find out what it can do and show me how you do it...'. I honestly didn't want to give it back! There's all the usual 'point and shoot' prgrams/presets so you can get going straight away. And when/if you want to move on and 'take control' yourself of stuff like depth-of-field, shutter speeds and exposure compensation, set it to 'manual' and it's all there. It's SLR-like in this respect, all you can't do is put other lenses on...but you can't do that with any compact. For the real 'split-second' hair flick stuff you're chatting about, flash is your best friend. The shot's based on the rise-to-peak time of that burst, not the shutter speed and all electronic flash is super-fast. Try it! Some of the studio-flash makers show pics of their flashes almost completely freezing a bullet coming out of a rifle (tempting us to spend some cash on their latest flash-heads, naturally!). If you go looking for a brand new compact, well there's so many and they're all broadly speaking similar in a given price range I couldn't say which is 'best'. Visit some specialist shops and try demo models. Try making it focus on something quite close, then point at something distant and see how long the auto-focus takes to 'lock-on' and be ready to shoot. That 'near-to-infinity' swing is the longest it'll ever take to focus, because it's the whole 'travel' of the lens. The ones that do it quickest are the ones you want to be looking at for your planned use and style I reckon. Some will be quicker than others. Don't matter what 'potential quality' the lens has got, an out of focus shot's good for nothing. ps...big Sis still uses the G9 and takes some cracking shots. I'm a 20+year Nikon-only man, so I hardly want to admit I like a Canon...but the G9 is tasty and a proper steal used. See ya soon!
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Hello! So I am an instagramer with right now 800 followers. I make collabs! I want to be an inspiration intagramer though. If you don't know the difference let me explain:
Collaber: you make funny collabs with captions and other peopls sometimes.
Inspirationist: takes photos with a clear camera and the photos are of inspiring movements. For example, making stories through photos.
I want to start taking photos with a camera and all I have now is my ipod 4 and I was wondering if anybody has any advice for choosing a camera that can zoom, take great wuality pictures rather than pixels, can enhance automatically and is under $150-$200
I've found some point and shoot cameras and zoom's that are pretty good and the point and shoot is about $130 so that price is in my range.
Please help! Thank you :)
P.S. takes good photos in dark? (link)
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I'm a DSLR man (big, heavy, scary cost) but someone bought me a compact (Panasonic/Lumix DMC-FZ8 it says on the box) for 'fun' shooting (you can't sling big SLR kit in a little bag and cart it around without a reason or when you're just 'out and about' and enjoying yourself). This one packs an aspherical zoom lens by the legendary Leica and turns some amazingly nice pictures, at the fraction of the price of an all-Leica compact. Assume the deal was to get that magical name back 'out there' among new shooters? I'm sure it, or similar would be in your price-range. In good old 35mm terms it's the equivalent of about 35-400mm zoom. That's a good zoom range. Not sure what megapixels, bas as you've pointed out we shoot pictures not pixels. Unless you need big paper prints any compact you buy now will have far too many pixels for 100% screen viewing anyway. A Nikon compact that boasts nikon optics, or a canon compact is sure to be acceptable in image quality. Dark shots? Well, are we talking flash or available light? An on-camera flash will never take a shot that looks like an available-light picture taken in the dark. Flash, as you know puts a very characteristic 'signature' on the picture. The pop-up flash units on most compacts are a bit feeble in terms of power and coverage. If you're planning a lot of night-shots try and find one with a 'hot-shoe' on so you can put a bigger flashgun on it. Available-light stuff in the dark is a big ask. Find the 'ISO' setting on the camera and turn it up high, but keep in mind the quality of the image goes down as the ISO goes up, at ISO1600 and above expect 'noisy' (colours a bit washed out and a visible 'grain'). If you're seeing a shuuter speed of about 1/30 or less, it won't 'freeze' much action, and it's 'shake' comes in to play. Hard to hold it steady at slow shutter speeds. Great low available light stuff is the realm of dslr's + pro lenses. A big-aperture (lets more light in, so the shutter can run faster) zoom might weigh 2 kilos or more, is huge and costs the earth. Finally, all compacts enhance the 'raw' shot. Look through the menus and you should find colour saturation, sharpening and contrast etc have 'levels' you can adjust, or turn-off completely to tatse. As long as you get the exposure close you shouldn't need much post-processing on most shots. Just a 'crop' maybe, to remove bits of the scene you don't want 'in'. From the sound of it, your pictures are going to stand or fall on IMPACT and that's down to YOU. It's about what you point your lens at and when you pull the trigger! So don't let test-charts and techy details influence you either way. Look for something where the controls you need to change frequently are quick to get at, lowest 'power-up' delay and fastest autofocus speed your budget can get you. Like a photo-journalist would. The low-light stuff is difficult I'm afraid. An 80-200mm f2.8 like the fashion-show snappers and stuff use are four-figure money. Look for dead-spots in the action and time your shot to match them in the dark and you'll get some good stuff. But don't expect to freeze fast action without some big glass. I wish it WAS possible myself! Good luck...and enjoy your photography!
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What does it mean to be physically attracted to someone? (link)
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There's many a wise saying about not judging by appearance, not 'judging a book by it's cover' etc. But in the usual course of human interaction, it's the first point of reference, and in the case of the majority of people we see it's the ONLY one we'll ever have. Physical attraction is just that, we see something attracting and desirable in the 'physical' appearance of another person. It needs or implies no knowledge of the character, personality or circumstances of the other person. A double edged sword. We could be physically attracted to a nameless stranger, or we could have opposite-sex (or same-sex, where this applies...) friends of long standing for whom we hold no feelings of physical attraction. It implies a sexual dynamic, but it may not be acknowledged as such by one or both parties. It can be shaded quite unconciously, or conciously. It is superficial, but that does NOT mean trivial or lacking in power.
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How do I get rid of the slag reputation?!
I had a boyfriend for 2 years when I was 14-16 and we were sexually active. When we broke up I started to have sex with one guy and then his friend found out in my school and I had sex with some of them too over the past 7 months. I have slept with 6 guys in total and I am 17 which to me isn't that many but in school I am seen as the "school slag" I hate it and cry about it all the time and always tell myself not to do things at parties! But every time I go and have a drink or want to have fun and the boys are there they make me feel guilty cos I'm a push over and I end up regretting it the next day! I hate this reputation and hate everyone looking at me in school! How can I just get rid of it and lives life and find a normal boyfriend who I can trust and be loyal too. X x x (link)
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This is a tricky one. It's easy to get a reputation among your age group, possibly undeserved. Getting rid of one is a lot more difficult. The first step is of course to deny them any more fuel to add to the fire as it were. To effectively change a behaviour pattern requires an understanding of the cause. Simply vowing not to repeat actions has little or no power to prevent you from doing so, as you seem to have found out. We need to sort out the cause at it's root, so to speak. I'm going to have to take a punt here, which may be completely wrong since your note is all I've got. Your boyfriend of 2 years...did you feel he WAS the normal boyfriend you could trust and be loyal to? And was the decision to end your relationship HIS and NOT yours? If this is so then it will have been a bit of a blow to your pride, and what is often called 'self-esteem' which is basically 'how good you feel about yourself.' If this, or maybe some other event lowered your self-esteem then one of the ways we can (wrongly) attempt to rebuild it is to sacrifice the little we have in trying to win the esteem of others. This normally takes the course of 'giving them anything and everything they want so they'll like you'. Perhaps you can see where I'm going with this? There's no 'regulation' or usual number of guys a girl can have had sex with at 17. But assuming 5 of them have been in the last seven months, it is getting a bit 'prolific' shall we say? To arm yourself against the guys, and the behaviour you mention then, the first step is to start 'feeling good' about yourself. You have to start seeing yourself as something MUCH more than just an object for a bloke to satisfy his sexual urges with. You are. You deserve much more than this. But YOU have to feel you do. Next time a situation occurs try to defy it. If you win (that means NOT jumping under him!) it will build that esteem one little step. And so on. Tell him you've outgrown casual sex now, you're looking for something a bit more committed now...and man you can be proud of...something like that maybe? You've probably got ideas of your own on how you might do it? A big benefit of higher self-esteem is also that you will care less about 'slag' comments or snide remarks....really you will. One more piece of good news. Despite what we say or think, that we will always stay close to school friends past 18 when we leave, few of us actually do. They'll be replaced by your University set (if you go) or work colleagues and their friends (if you don't). The school reputation, and any trace of it will be left way behind you and you won't worry a damn about playground gossip. So no more tears and anguish, start showing the sex 'opportunists' that it's phase that's over for you and them...and a life is a lot bigger and broader than the bit you're looking at right now. Are we making a start? Getting somewhere? Let me know...you CAN work through this!
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So about a month ago my girlfriend admitted to me she might have made a huge mistake but didn't really recollect it. I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months now and to be honest I'm beginning to fall madly in love with her. I found out that 3 months prior to me dating her ( keep in mind I was talking to her at the time and hooking up with her but we were not dating) she drank way too much alcohol and completely blacked out., woke up the next day in her own piss and puke and the last thing she remembered was being at a party (we attend the same college) and my roommate and friend were hitting on her hard. The next day she texted my "friend" what happened? He replied u got way too drunk we walked you home and you fell asleep. I immediately contacted the both of them to confront them what I've learned..trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. One denied anything happened including walking her home and the other didn’t pick up his phone.. So I realized someone's lying here. I called one of my other roommates up and he told me he meant to tell me about this months ago but couldn't. My one roommate who committed the act blacked out and admitted to my other roommate that this happened. My one roommate then told everyone we were friends with at school about what happened. So here everyone knew the whole time but no one had enough balls to tell me this happened (3 months they kept it from me) he told me that my other roommate who committed the act walked my drunk girlfriend to her room with my friend and she ripped her clothes off an one of them stuck they're penis in her mouth the other banged her in the bed. I told my girlfriend the bad news that I learned. Pissed off as all hell. She started to cry. She doesn't remember a thing besides walking with them and passing out and seeing them leave her room at her apartment. She didn’t say anything to me about it at the time because she wasn't sure herself it was like a blurry dream to her (which u could understand if you've ever been
blacked out on alcohol) she was balling her eyes out and admitted she had sex with my one "friend" in the threesome previously to this incident like a week or two before it but regrets that too she hated it and felt bad she did it to me behind my back...but lied to me when i first initially asked if she had sex with him.. she's always had alcohol problems. She'd black out all the time..one time I had sex with her for like an hour and she doesn't remember a thing. She's been in AA ten times.. Since this incident she quit drinking. Goes home on the weekend to work to pay for a car to use it to see me. She's doing a lot to prove to me she isn't a whore. She's changed. She didn't want that to happen to her. Etc..now the two kids involved with this are now telling my old roommates she wanted to do it etc. I don't know if they're lying and sayin that to clear their name ( they did lie to me when I asked if it even happened) or she really did ask to do it..regardless they are 24 and 22 years old and she's 19. You don't take advantage of a obviously hammered 19 year old like that especially when you consider me a "friend" and I was away that night for my cousins birthday. I'm obviously not friends with these scumbags anymore. But I'm having trouble getting over this incident that happened months before we were dating. It sucks. I feel betrayed by everyone, her, my friends everyone and I'm such a nice guy. She's doing a lot to prove to me she wants to make this up to me.I even questioned about having a MFF threesome with her to make up for it (which I don't know if that's a good idea) and she said no at first but gave into it because she doesn't want to lose me. She practically has no life now and works just for me to pay for her car by driving 2 hours to her hometown on the weekends to work. I don't know what to do. I see her side of the story but I don't want to be labeled a sucker by my friends for giving this "whore" to them a second chance. Even tho she isn't a whore. I feel betrayed by all of them as well. She lied to me and kept this from me so obviously I have trust issues now. And the worst part is I can't stop thinking about this. It kills me that I keep yelling at her for it bringing it up because I warned her something bad like this woulda happened if she didn't learn how to control her drinking. She has changed in front of my eyes so far and I'm proud of her (even losing 20 lbs) since this happened. She's turned her life around completely. I'm just having trouble getting over this especially when people keep reminding me of it..I feel like the world’s biggest sucker (everyone knew except for me) she didn't know either really but still she could have told me "maybe" it happened and that she had sex with my one friend a week prior to this incident.. I don't know what to do if I can't get over this I can't be with her I'm hoping time will help me heal and maybe even a threesome myself (even though hers was more of a rape..) I'm stuck in this dilemma on my last limb ..please help
(link)
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As a deliberate act, with no sense of remorse and no attempts to correct it or prevent it happening again this would take some forgiving. As a young bloke you'd have no hesitation in cutting her out of your thoughts entirely and rolling the relationship dice again. Persisting with the relationship would not be an option. This would seem not to be the case. Before we know how much is 'enough' some have to learn how much is 'too much'. In short, some do 'have to be burned to learn'. We make mistakes. Try not to view this as something she wanted to do anyway and an excess of alcohol was just the excuse to do it. It sounds unlikely from what you have written. The event is now in the past and beyond any possibility of change. How it impacts on the future is your decision. As is how much you let the opinions and decisions of others control YOUR life. The stumbling block seems to be that you feel something of an object of ridicule among your friends, or 'peer group'. We have a need to feel respected by our peer group, equal with them and identify with them. This is why it's cutting you up. Alright, the last bit's 'psycho-babble', you want a practical answer right? Well the fact is you won't be the centre of attention or the focus of gossip for long. To others, your nightmare will have relatively short 'shelf-life'. There's only so much mileage in it. They, and you will move onto a new topic. If you ditch her, or stay with will make no difference, it will cease to be of any interest to them either way. So the question is, do you want to make what is for you a life-decision based on something so temporary? Three-months, relative to the usual span of a life is nothing at all. Whether your decision is to stay with her or look elsewhere I would not dare to predict and cannot tell you. But I will advise this. Roll with the punches for a bit and try not to make ANY decision either way YET. When yo can view the big picture, with a cool and calm mind, uninfluenced by the opinions of others...then make your choice.
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What do you think of this poem? I tried to format
this better but could not because of the posting system here in this space provided.
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From My Terrace Down
Twilight's saffron haze reduced to memory
as light strengthens its spars over the horizon
silhouetted gossamer,woven upon ash wood and hedge
taut like strings on a violin
from my terrace down,
closely packed houses, roof tops
gnawing at the pith of the air, where starlings
wings stretch for sunshine through westward glints
their fluted voices carrying long phrases
tattooed to the wind, atop hills shaved from
peaks, like those only dreams dare to carve
from my terrace down,
factories and wind mills, fields nosing up
to ploughmen clad in turf bound silence
where moss munches on harvest salts (link)
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Can't write poetry for toffee myself, and no authority. Enjoyed reading it over the years though. Yours calls Dylan Thomas to mind. Like the words just fell out of you onto the page. Makes the reader work hard to piece them together. I got a fleeting and fragmented view from your terrace. A verbal 'sketch' more than a precise photograph. Quite like it.
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I have a boyfriend, but I want to hook up with a girl. Not a specific girl, just a girl. I want to experience what it's like hooking up with another girl because it looks fun! I think I've been watching too much lesbian porn. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my boyfriend. We've been together for over 2 years and we have great sex. And me wanting to hook up with a girl has nothing to do with our relationship. I'm just curious. Is this wrong? What should I do? Oh, and my boyfriend has no clue. I'm pretty sure he'd go nuts. And sorry for the raunchiness. (link)
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You probably are of the opinion that since you have no plans to form a relationship, and that you're doing it with another girl that it doesn't really count as being unfaithful to your partner? So the question really hinges on 'will I get caught?' The most immediate problem that springs to mind is that this has got to involve a like-minded female. Could you be so sure SHE has exactly the same agenda (no strings fun, seeing how it feels). Could you be sure SHE will NOT form some emotional connection with YOU? It could get seriously out of hand. You tend to think that your partner would not be likely to dismiss it lightly, that as since no other guy is involved there is not 'threat'. I'd say that this desire and also it's realisation is in no way 'wrong', but given your situation it could GO wrong. Badly. If you decide to do it, be extremely careful and be very sure of your female partners expectations before you do it. The argument that 'I love you, I'm happy with our relationship and I just wanted to experience it.' etc sounds perfectly rational and reasonable...to me. But I'm not the possibly hurt, confused and angry partner you'll be defending your decision against. Possibly, now the idea's in your head you won't rest easy until you've at least tried it? Just be very cautious. Meanwhile, if it's a pleasing 'fantasy' while enjoying some all-girl adult movies and pics then carry on. The urge may simply pass unfulfilled in reality. We're transient creatures us humans! Best wishes.
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So i hacked my friends facebook account 5 times in a row and i did something pretty bad to the girls he likes, but they both forgive really easily and they did. Then for mistake i tried hacking his phone.. And ruined it by making all his information disappear. Though after he ruined my pc by turning it off and on by the button and not on shut down. When i skyped him he started insulting me and saying that he would beat me up, i know he cant because hes too scared to do it, i just said and replied to him to do beat me up... So?? What should i do?? If he starts beating me up should i fight back or do nothing?? (link)
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If he comes looking for your blood you've got to defend yourself I suppose. But if you're the stronger...don't beat him to a pulp mate, eh? Try and resolve it without a punch-up if you can. And watch the practical jokes in future maybe? Don't want to end up with a long line of people waiting for a chance to even-up the score with you. Specially if they've got long memories!
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I am constantly stressed out. I have tried exercise,therapy, even drinking, everything under the sun... it has been no help. I do not know how this started; all I can think of that causes my stress is that I fixate on negative energy whenever it is present. I am not good at letting go of things and I generally punish myself for what I know is not my fault. Things that should be blown off in a instant can cause me major mental blocks, panic attacks, and headaches. I am becoming very depressed and isolated. Once a straight A student I am now failing all my classes. This is painful because I am use to being such a happy social girl, but I can not seem to get anywhere close to that anymore. I am young, female, and in pretty good physical shape. Do you of anything that might help me? (link)
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Try not to get too mystical in your search for reasons and go off into a world of negative energy and karma and the like. The feelings, and most definitely the physical symptoms you are describing are classic signs of just good old worldly stress. With elevated stress levels you will not perform up to your ability or potential in any sphere. It's real. At a crucial time in your academic life, with exams and coursework to be sat, submitted and passed this is a far from ideal as you know. Doctors can prescribe beta-blockers which are very effective at controlling the headaches, panic attacks and general 'rabbit caught in car headlights' feelings. If you go down that path your doctor will be pointing out similar factors to these: It works better with a planned and effective (non-chemical!) personal stress-management program so you should work on getting yourself one. And that the tablets are a 'stop-gap'. To get you through your exams. You don't want to be using any drugs to control stress long-term. Dependency and addiction are not only possible, but likely. Being fit and taking exercise will be reducing the force with which the stress hits you NOW even though you don't think it's doing any good. Keep with it. The effectiveness of therapy depends on the quality of the therapy and even more so, your own attitude towards it. The thearapist can't live, and deal with your stress for you. I leave that in your hands then? Alcohol, well it certainly has ways of relaxing the body and allowing you to mentlly 'let go' a little. It would be wrong to deny this, even if I were strongly opposed to alcohol myself (which I'm not). So in moderation maybe, to wind down after a particularly tough day? But really getting 'oblivioned' is only going to help in the moment. When you sober-up it's all still there isn't it? Plus you've got the mother of all headaches eh?? Now you have acknowledged that stress-related performance problems will lower your grades. Which increase the stress, which in turn impacts further on your performance. The 'vicious circle'. The first thing you need to do is 'break the loop'. A circle with a break...isn't a circle anymore. Work on natural methods, but if you need the beta-blockers it isn't going to make you a sad junkie. Some use them to pass a driving test. They drive around town with their instructor in a competent and safe way...they can drive. But they repeatedly fail due the sheer anxiety and stress of the test environment. They simply 'go to pieces' on the day. Hope I've given you something you can work with. When your stress levels are managed properly you'll be the cool and confident old you again. Good luck.
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