Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84212
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Everytime *it never fails* after I eat I get a stomach ache, and there not normal small pain ones, they hurt like crazy. I've been to the hospital and they've found nothin, they think its all in my head. Im afraid to eat sometimes because the pain is so bad and Im always stuck layin in bed for hours. I eat pretty healthy food, im normal weight and I excercise alot, does anyone else no what my be going on? *Im 13 and some doctors think it could be growing pains .. but would they hurt this bad and how do i get rid of them?* sry for the length but I'l rate BUNCHES! :) (link)
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Did you ask this question before, because I answered one like this last week. But just in case it wasn't you, I will cut and paste that answer I gave her. Now this medical condition is hard to diagnose, and many doctors miss it, It is very rare. But the clue you gave me is exactly that, that the doctors don't know what it is, and think it's in your head. It is he same thing that most people who suffer from this hear from their doctor.
Here it is.....
Are you of mediteranian decent? There is this disease, and actually I hope you don't have it. It is very difficult to diagnose and one of the symptoms is stomache ache. GO on line and look up porphyria. It is a disease. Usually in people of European Decent.
Here are some of the symptoms
General Symptomology:
___Abdominal pain
___Abdominal tenderness
___Loss of appetite
___Nausea
___Vomiting
___Constipation
___Carbohydrate craving
Physical Findings of Acute Attack
___Red or dark urine
___Tachycardia [Pulse] >100
___Labile hypertension >90 diastolic [blood pressure]
___Fever [Pyrexia]
___Profused sweating
___Edema [Retention of fluids] [Swelling]
___Postural Hypotension [Low Blood Pressure]
___Hypertrichosis [excessive body hair growth]
___Hyperpigmentation [skin coloring]
It can be combined with skin problems, but you can also have it without the skin problems.
IF you think this sounds like you, do some more research, print it out and bring it to the doctor.
OR IT COULD BE>>>>>>>>>
The other thing that might be a problem is a yeast infection in your digestive tract. Which would get worse when you eat sugar, because yeast LOVES sugar. BUt that is easy to take care of you need to eat some good bacteria, the stuff that comes in Yogurt. Acidophollis, But, you can't eat yogurt because it has sugar, but you can get the capsuls at any health food store. Your parents should take you to see a naturpathic physician. They specialize in stomach disorders. And are much better than conventional doctors.
PS. Many years ago, before doctors recognized porphyria as a disease, they all thought it was in the patients heads too.
Hope this helps.
Michele
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are all veggies and fruits healthy?
please answer me quickly
ill rate high for good and specific and long and useful answers! (link)
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All fresh veggies are healthy. Frozen veggies are next in line, then canned are last, but better than nothing.
If you are concerned about loosing weight though, you might want to avoid avacados, and olives, they are high in fat. And, oh yes, yellow corn, while sold as a veggie, is actually a starch. So if you are on the "weight watchers diet" where you have to count your carbs, corn would be considered a carb.
I hope this helps.
All fruits are great for you too. And they all promote longevity.
Michele
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OK I THINK I have warts. I cant go to a doc, don't ask why. Can you tell me what are some ways to get rid of them? Or any info on them? Is it the same as genital warts? I know its a virus and there's no way of getting rid of it for sure but maybe temporarily? Also, I noticed them forming after I started dating this guy who had them, Joehn. I don't know if their contagious and how because the only thing we did was make-out and nothing else. I haven't been with any guy ever since and that was about almost 2 years ago. Anyone have any info on this or anything that can help me out. I'll rate youweelll. Thanks again. (link)
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Warts are caused by a virus, and you are right you can't get rid of the virus,but you can control it. You need to build up your immune system so you body can fight the virus. I had lots of warts on my hands at one time. I started to take vitamins, and they just dissapeared. That is not why I started the vitamins, but the warts dissapearing was an added bonus.
Now don't just take those cheap-o ONE A DAY vitamins, YOu need a good multi vitamin, and probably extra Vit. E and Vit. C to start.
Ask the pharmactist to recommend a good brand, take them every day. They are excellent for your over all health,
And don't do things that will cause stress on your immune system, like smoke
Michele
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I am so in love with my girlfriend. She is amazing and everything I need her to be. But this summer I have the choice to move away to Philly with my father (which I been wanting for years) to get away from my mother. And I will be getting paid to play basketball there. But my girlfriend will still be here and I don't want to leave her cause I know we would have a great future together if I stay and I know things won't be the same even if I do come and visit a lot. What do you guys think I should do? (link)
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Well,I am not a guy, but let me ask this. How old are the two of you? Since you will be getting a job playing basket ball, how soon would you be able to have her move closer to you. Since you say you love her and she is everything.
If that is not an option within a year or so,then yes, the relationship may be in trouble. Though, it is funny, 25 or 30 years ago, couples waited for each other. Many young people went off to war, and they left girls behind and the girls waited for them,(not ALL of course) and they got married when they got back.
Today, I hear from young girls all the time,
they don't want to be alone, they want instant gratification, they want attention and they want it now.
If your girl friend is like that, and won't wait for you, well then maybe it was not meant to be,and you will be better off in the long run. sorry to say that, but I think if a couple really cares for each other, and want to spend the rest of their lives together, then a few months or years of separation should not make a difference. Yes it is hard but not impossible, if both parties are willing to sacrifice and think of the long term gains and not instant gratification.
I just hope this puts things in perspective for you. Good luck to you and good luck with the basketball.
Michele
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well....i've been having such a hard time lately....i've been sooo stressed out with school and stuff.i know its almost over but its really a pain.in school today i wasnt acting myself and everyone was asking me what was wrong.im not even sure what is wrong.my mom constantly hassles me to the point of my wanting to stab myself and im really afraid that if i dont do sumthing soon them im gonna end up killin myself or something.please help me!!!!!!! (link)
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Ok, killing yourself would be a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem.
Your biggest problem is that you are young and you are not in charge of your life yet. Your mom is still the boss. It may seem like a long way away, but one day soon, you'll be the one who makes all the decision, and you'll wonder why you were in such a hurry to get there. YOu will look back on this time in your life and think, "wow, life was simple back them">
Guaranteed
MIchele
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well this guy that i like says he wouldnt go out with me because i was prude but im not soo he said if i wasnt prude then i have to have sex with him to prove him but now i think about it i dont want to cause i just isnt right at my age (15) and i dont what to say to him that i dont want to have sex with him just to show him im not prude!! everytime i talk to him he always says are u ready to have sex but i always say yes because if u dont then he might spread rumors about me which he is really good at!!! soo i dont know what to do at this point!!! HELP!!!! (link)
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He is just trying to fool you into having sex, by using reverse psychology on you. If the name prude bothers you, and mostly it bothers you more because of the way that he says it and he does it on purpose, then he knows you'll feel anxious and he may get lucky. What he should get is a fat lip. Tell him that you are only a prude where he is concerned. And don't kid yourself, he is probably saying this say thing to some other girl. He sounds like a creep trying to pressure a 15 year old girl into having sex with him, and playing games with your mind. He is not nice, he's not worthy of you. Find someone else.
That is my advice
Michele
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whenever i put on eyeliner, the eyeliner ends up getting off and i put them on the skin closest to the eyes. i know i have oily skin so how can i fix this so i can wear eyeliner without reapplying it every other hour ? (link)
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You have to try different ones until you find one that works. If you go to the cosmetic counter at a department store, they may be able to help you. Or try a Mary Kay salesperson, that will cost less, and they will help you solve your problem.
Michele
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ok this is the same lonely girl again. the only friend i have that's not out of state is one of my best friends, and over the school year we were really tight. we still are...but we don't talk on the phone a lot anymore. she hasn't been calling her and everytime i called her, she always had to go soon because of something. i don't think she's that busy at all, she has summer camp until noon *same as me*. and she never goes online or mails me anymore! it's because her computer is broken. but still..what's going on? (link)
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HI again,
Well the sad part of life, and a lesson that we should all learn, is that it doesn't really matter what people say, if their "Actions" don't follow their words. You say your still real close, but you obviously notice a difference in her behavior. With her words she gives you the impression that all is OK, but her behavior has changed, and you have noticed. Well, the next lesson that we all have to learn is that, we can't make anyone do what they do not want to do.
She may have a new friend or had gotten closer with a different friend, and is not making time for you. She may not be your best friend anymore, but has neglected to tell you. I am sorry to be the one to tell you, but learning to read peoples' behavior is very important. (Especially when it comes to boys) I will hope and pray that you find a new good friend over the summer, and that you will forget about those friends who don't act like friends.
Michele
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i am very lonely this summer. all my friends are off in this camp out of state..my family can't afford it. my sister left for wisconsin for this job. i'm not even going to summer camp. what am i going to do all summer long?? i only have my parents and dog with me..that's all! (link)
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Well, you can't be the only person in town. So it is time to get out. Good thing you have your dog, because that is a good excuse to be out and about. Young adults say that dogs are a great ice breaker for conversation. Get a ball or a frisbee and take the dog to the park. There are a lot of kids who are not at camp.
You don't say how old you are, and I just want to caution you to be careful. If your parents won't let you out for your safety, well then I guess they are the boss. But if they will, going out with the dog is an option. Is there a YMCA near by. They are very inexpensive and have summer programs. Do you live in a big city. Large cities have Park & Recreation events for the kids during the summer. Is there maybe a dog pound in town or a branch of the human society.....maybe you can volunteer to feed the animals. That should keep you busy. If you are sixteen you might be able to volunteer at girl scout camp, if there is one near by.
How about the library (I know, boring!!!) But not really , they take volunteers of any age.
At least you will get out, and they do have interesting events at the library. How about a museum in town, they need volunteers also.
Finally, how about starting your own business, a dog walking business. Most people who own dogs, know that they have to be walked each day for their health,but most people don't have the time.
And last but not least, I think there might be a girl in your school that you were not the best of friends with, she may be home alone too, and you can get to know each other better. You might be surprised.
Well that is all I can think of right now. I hope one or more of these ideas works for you. I know they are not your first choice, but as the summer wears on, they may become more interesting.
Michele
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my birth details
name: charu
sex: female
dob: 01-01-1975
status: married since 6 years
place of bith: jhansi, India
time: 13: 42 pm wednesday afternoon
QUESTION: 1_) WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE ? IF UR ANSWER IS YES LET ME KNOW THE MONTH AND YEAR OF CONCEPTION ALONGWITH THE SEX OF MY CHILDREN
2) BIF U CAN TELL ME PLEASE THEN LET ME KNOW WHETHER IT WILL BE A NATURAL CONCEPTION OR ATEST TUBE CHILD?
TYHANKS
REPLY SOON
REGARDS
CHARU (link)
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YOu are looking for a psychic. GO to www.Keen.com
there are lots of psychics there. If you want to waste your money.
Try improving your health with vitamins and herbs that promote fertility. That might help.
Michele
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i was wondering what the difference is between a graduate and an undergraduate is. could someone please explain or give me a link to go to. also, when i want to apply for a college, can i do it online or do i have to go to that college. by the way im 14 and i was wondering bcuz college is right around the corner! (link)
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Here is some info I gave a girl who asked this question in May. It tells all about college. As far as applying on line, Yes many colleges have web sites, and you can apply online, but money has to accompany each application so you still have to pay a fee, I guess you can pay by credit card or send a check. You won't do everything on line though and just show up for classes one day, especially freshman. You are encouraged to visit the campus, and meet with student advisors to plan your first school year.
Here goes.....
(previous answer to another person).............
Well I am glad that you are asking. Everyone who wants to have a great life with enough money to cover expenses, food, clothing shelter, and FUN, needs a college education. I go myself, even though I am in my 50's, and my oldest son in enrolled in college. First I can tell you that college is fun. In college they expect you to act like an adult. And surprise, most kids do. You choose your classes and usually you choose four classes per semester and there are usually 2 semesters per year. There are summer classes however, and some students choose summer classes also so they can finish college sooner. College can be expense or affordable, depending on which college you choose. STate colleges, are usually the most inexpensive four year colleges, for state residents. Community Colleges are the least expensive, and most of them offer 2 year or associates degree programs. Four year colleges or universities (very expensive) offer four year degrees, Bachelor of Arts, or Bachelor of Science. Graduate school comes afer you have completed a four year college. And that is usually 2 years. For example if you want to be a lawyer, you would have to go to a four year college, then on to graduate school (a school of law, with intense study of the law) for two years, then take the BAR EXAM, and if you pass, you can be a lawyer in that state. YOu can be a teacher with four years of college. To be a doctor, you have to go to four years of college, then graduate school(MEDICAL SCHOOL) for 2 years, then internship and school for I think two years, then you are a doctor. So it all depends on what you think you want to have a career doing when you are an adult. But you don't have to know right away. You can go to college and decide later.
College classes are very informal. If you take a full schedule one semester. You would choose four classes, and most likely those classes will meet 2 or three times a week each. Plus you get homework in each class. Classes can run fom 8 in the morning to 8 at night. You get a list of all the classes offered, and the professors teaching them, and the times scheduled and you choose the ones you want. Most colleges understand that Freshman are overwhelmed by their first experience of being in college so there are lots of advisors to help you. You will have to meet with an advisor they will help you decide on a major subject then help you choose classes.
Which college to go to. Well depends on lots of things. What you want to do for a career, where you want to live, home or on campus and how much money you have. Oh, and your grades. YOu have to have very good grades and high SAT scores to get into IVY LEAGUE University's like Princeton, Yale, Brown, HArvard, etc But if you were planning on that, you and your parents would have been working on this many years ago, so I imagine that you won't be applying there. If you want to go away to a private college you will have to have good grades and high SAT scores. If you want to go to a local state college, then usually your grades can be average, and your SAT scores AVERAGE, and it is more affordable. It is even more affordable for you and your family if you live at home and commute to collge(that is what my son does.) We applied for financial aid, and that pays for about 2/3rds of his collge, (I am a single mom, that helped) The rest he gets in student loans, which he does not have to start to pay back until he is graduated from college and working, or 6 months after graduations, which ever comes first. Financial aid can help pay for books also, and food on campus. YOu can get a job at the college to help pay for college. My son works at the college radio station, and he has a great time, he even has his own radio show.
College is NOTHING LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. No one is petty, no one is bitchy. It does not matter what you wear, or how you look, everyone is intellegent and realizes that all that stuff is childish. It is wonderful. YOu will make friendships in college that will last a life time.
If you like fashion, there are fashion colleges, if you like acting, drama, there are drama colleges, if you like music, there are music colleges, if you like cooking, there are cooking colleges, if you like computers, there are computer colleges, computer graphics...there are colleges for that marketing, film making, horticulture, farming/ And there is more than one college that offers classess in these areas.
Here are some areas, that I KNOW are lacking in employees and that I am pretty sure, the jobs won't be going overseas some day.
Pharmacy or just about anything in the medical field.
Culinary
Computer graphics, you know those guys/gals that make the animated movies like Toy Story, or Lion King, or Any of the Star Wars series, Those guys make a LOT LOT LOT of money. They are in demand.
Construction Management. Great college in Boston, Wentworth Technological Institute.(www.wit.edu) That field is supposed to explode in the future because of our aging infrastructure. Bridges, Buildings, Cities, Malls, etc.
Environmental Degrees, people with environmental degrees will be in demand all over the world. They are now. Agriculture, too. I you learn foreign languages, some people are good at it. You can be in demand all over the world. Work for a World Organization like the UN or the Food and Agriculture Organization, travel and see the world.
How do you find out about collges, well they ALL have web pages, but I think you should start with the guidance counselor at high school. The sooner you start the better. And apply for scholarships. They have those applications at the high school also.
You can go on this site called www.fastweb.com
and register there. IT IS ALL FREE. You can search for scholarships, and search on colleges, and when you register, if you know your field of study, or think you do, put that in, Colleges may find you! You should never have to pay to have help to find colleges or find scholarships, so be careful because some web sites will charge you to search for you. YOu can do all the work on line. when you are ready to apply to colleges, you can apply to more than one, and maybe get accepted at more than one, so you choose the one that gives you the best package. Financial Aid and scholarships, and work study, etc, etc. If you are an athlete, well there are athletic scholarships at most colleges for anything from ping pong to football, basket ball, soft ball, lacrosse, rowing. equestrian, etc, etc, etc,
You should start looking at colleges in your Junior Year of High School, but it is NEVER to late to decide to go to college. If taking the SAT's scares you, you can always try a community college for the first two years then transfer your credits to a four year college later, and the SAT's won't matter, neither will your highschool grades. There are some professions that are so desperate for workers that you can almost go to college for nothing such as pharmacists. This country has a great shortage of pharmacists. You have to be good a chemistry to be a pharmacists. I think they start around $50.00 an hour. I hope this all helps. If you have more questions, please feel free to leave a question in my in box. I hope you do persue this. It is the best way to have a good life, by starting with a high school, then college eduation. Good Luck.
Michele
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My boyfriend keeps coming back to me, claiming to love me but he always ends up cheating on me with his ex. What do i do? I'm a female age 15. (link)
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YOu are too young to be so miserable in love. Love can be wonderful, find someone who respects you and doesn't spend all his time thinking with his little head, instead of the head on his shoulders.
MIchele
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well i went to a concer like 2 days ago and i was in the mosh pit and i got thrown on stage...
i stood up and the band had stopped playing and everyone was staring at me...i feld so embarassed. but then i saw my bf in the front row and i started singing the song that they were playing... so they started playing the song again and i was up their the whole show..
the band called me the next day and asked me and my band to come with them on tour... my band is called the audio switch.
should i go on tour with them and miss the whole summer hangin wid my friends or play punk rock music with mental riot on tour?!?!?!
help!!!!
they both sound so awesome but bieng on tour with metal riot is a chance of a lifetime.. (link)
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Are you kidding. Go on tour. But stay out of trouble.
Have a great time.
Michele
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ok.....if your bf fingers you will u get preganent?and do u have to have your period to have someone finger you? (link)
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No you can't get pregnant from being fingered. You can ONLY get pregnant if he inserts his penis in your vagina and ejaculates. And having your period is not a guarantee that you won't get pregnant.
Michele
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i know that guys dont like clingy girls, and i know that guys dont like girls that are to "separated" if you know what i mean...so my question is...what is in between clingy and separated to where it is just right and the relationship will not fail due to this type of problem....and also in that "just right state," how does the person act? (link)
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Well maybe you should be friends first. Friends are comfortable with each other. They would never put demands on each other. They respect each other differences and don't try to change each other. Friends trust each other too, All of those things are needed, along with love, to make a relationship work.
So friends act concerned, caring, interested in the other person, and share their feelings and their ideas. Things like that, hope it helps.
Michele
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Hi im a 17/f. Im not that out going but my best friend is a very social person. She introduced me to her Older brother who is in collage. My best friend invited me to stay the night at her house. while i was there it turned out that her older brother was throwing a crazy frat party at there house whle there parents were away. Later that night after partying for awhile my friends older borther came up to me and asked if i wanted to dance. after a while he said he needed to talk to me in private. Wwe went up to his room and started talking for a while. he said how he really liked me and how he didnt care how i was 17 and he is 21. by that point i could tell he was drunk. i said "i'll be right bak" not meaning to return. i walked out of the room and went down stairs and started dancng again. about 15 minutes later he came down and said we needed to talk again. so i went along with it. when i walked in first he locked the door pushed me down on the bed and started rapeing me. now im 5 months pregnant and im supposed to be heading off to collage ona full scholorship. i really want to keep my child but it will be hard to go to school and keep a child. my parents dont want anything to do ith me so they wont help out. what should i do. keep my baby and skip out on Yale or give the baby up for adoption and go to Yale? im so confused please help!!!!!!!! (link)
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You say he is a good man? Are you kidding. Honey don't bother with college, because college campuses are full go great "MEN" like him who get drunk and date rape female college students. Since he is he one who put you in the position, and created this baby in the manner you stated, then he should be the one to give up on college and stay home and raise the kid. Though I don't think I would want him to raise my kid. He wasn't thinking about the future when he raped you. He should be ashamed of himself. Why do we girls accept such horrible behavior from boys and men. They will never change if we don't turn our backs on this kind of behavior.
Let him take care of the baby, and you go to college. There is no GOOD answer to this dilemma. That is why we old folks tell you kids all the time, to wait until you get married to have children. You will have to work hard to still be a mother every chance you get ,and get your education. YOu need an education because single parenthood is the first step to poverty.
And when you are in college stay away from frat parties.
Michele
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can you get TSS from wearing Pads?? thanks (link)
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No, that hasn't happened. But I would guess that you can get a bacterial infection that could turn bad. You have to change your pads often. I would imagine that you do. So no you can't get toxic shock syndrome from pads.
Michele
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Sometimes when I mess up on the littlest thing or I don't get my way, I get really sad and upset, and I don't understand why. Even while I'm upset I tell myself, "This doesn't make sense to be upset now" but I get upset anyways and I don't get out of my mood until I get something new or I find something to do that interests me. I really hate getting mood swings. Is there a way to knock myself out of these moods? Are they even natural? (link)
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Well mood swings could be caused by a chemical imbalance. It is possible, hormones are the worst. You might want to try some natural supplements like St. Johns Wort or L-Theanine. Both are all natural from plants and are safe to take. Both are often prescribed in England and Europe for mild depression. Look them up on the internet you will see.
You can get them at any health food store. Probably not at a drug store.
You are correct to believe that it does not make sense and if you keep "self medicating" yourself with "new things" each time you are in a bad mood, you are setting yourself up to become a shopaholic. And that is no joke. they end up in bankruptcy court and with ruin credit. Please save yourself from this painful situation.
The other thing that ALWAYS makes me feel better is exercise, with weights.
Michele
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i am 14/f with very low self-eteem. I have grown up ugly and now some guys tell me i'm hot, but some tell me i'm ugly. I dont understand. Also, I am quiet and am aftaid of rejection.
I am working on loving myself, but it is hard when you have so little friends.
Any sudjestions? (link)
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You don't need friends to improve your self-esteem, you say that guys say your hot, and you don't believe them, so even if you had a hundred friends who told you, you were beautiful, you wouldn't believe them. Do you know that some of the most beautiful women in the world suffer grom low self -esteem. I felt the same way you did when I was young. When I went to my 30 year high school reunion I was really suprised to find out that back then a lot of guys thought I was hot. Well I couldn't believe it. No one dated me. I thought for sure I was ugly. My mom said I was, all my young life, and I believed her. Now I know better and I know that I am not ugly. But because I was so sure that I was, I worked on getting an education, and accomplishing things that made me feel better about myself. I was smart and I got smarter. I take care of myself and my raised my two boys and own my own home and my self esteem is soaring. I was silly to think that I was ugly and not worthy.
You need to do things that make you feel better about yourself. You need to accomplish things. You need to feel like you are a beautiful person inside and the outside will follow. People, no matter how well intentioned, cannot give you self esteem by telling you that you are beautiful. When your beauty is just ONE of the great things about you, then you will have high self esteem. So get involved in, well anything that interests you. Something that you are passionate about. Make a difference!
Michele
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Anyone know where I can a find a shrink online or over the phone without charge or a fee. The ones that listen and give guidance to teens because I need someone to depend on . Someone. (link)
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If you read my column, you will see that I give very good and sensible advice to kids and even grown ups in all kinds of topics. Love, life, parenting, parents, drugs, sex, alcohol, running away, cutting, abuse, rape.......just to name a few. you can ask me a question here or send one to my email at michele@personaladvicecolumn.com
I only access that email from my office, so I will only see them Monday thru Friday, if that is OK with you. I won't charge you, I don't charge anything,..but a shrink, now even if you could find one on the internet, they would charge you. They get about 60 - 75 an hour, and oh yes, there hours are only 45 minutes. The other thing you might do is contact the Covenant House, they have a hot line. and a web pae
1-800-999-9999. or www.covenanthouse.org
They will talk to any kid about anything, for any amount of time. They are there 24 hours a day. It may be 1-888-999-9999, i am not sure, go to their website the number is posted there.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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