kooka-burra's advice column

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Q: so here it is...
I flirt alot ! but only with guys i know well... not with this guy i like.. i dont flirt with him... but i flirt with likes guys who flirt back so i think they think that i like them.. but i dont... how do i stop flirting with ther other guys and flirt with the guy i like ?

Ps when i try to even talk to the guy i get really red and cant think of anything to say...
thanks

if any guy comes up and asks you if you like them. Just let em down nicely and tell them your just playing.

Don't try to flurt with the guy you like. Try to talk to the guy you like. Think of what your going say before you aproch them. think of things to talk about.

With the guys u flirt with.... If you can stop flirting with them then while you try to stop let them know your just fooling around. It's on thing to flirt, it's another to lead on a guy and then break them.

good luck
~kooka

Q: I have these big bee-stung lips...they are so poofy and ughhhh I hate them..is there any way to make my lips look thin like normal people??

well if you don't like them (most people would love big lips but thats your choice) then change the way you put on your lip stick/gloss. So if you have thin lips you would put your lip gloss all over your lips.

you have three choices

1) put a little upsidedown triangle on your bottom lip and smack (rub your two lips together.

2) don't put any lip gloss on, although I would do the lip gloss thing.

3) learn to love your lips.

I'd pick number three
~kooka

Q: wat does it mean to eat someone out? ppl say that to ppl at skool and i would like to know wat it is.

like people said giving a girl oral sex.

~kooka

p.s. uuh, don't look it up on google you never know what you might find.

Q: hi.. okay well i like this guy ALOT! like i am in love with him and i would do anything for him and we r like good friends and we talk alot... but i no he would never like go out with me and he knows i like him and i really really like him so like wat should i do? thanks

I really don't think you LOOOVE him. And my advice, don't push it.

Me and my life long friend went out once, he didn't like me at all compared to how I liked him. I thought I loved him too, but when we went out it was weird between us.

We ended up breaking up and even though we are still friends, we have never been the same with each other since. I hate how it ruined our friendship and I don't want this to ruin your friendship.

Please think about this even if this isn't what you want to hear. That is what giving out advice is all about.

love
~kooka

Q: 13/f
Okay well there's this guy I really like and I want him to be my boyfriend but the thing is that one of my friends likes him a lot too. So when I told her I liked him she made me promise that I wouldn't go out with him. I think it's kinda stupid for her to make me promise that so I told her that if he asked me out I was gonna say yes. But then she got mad at me and I think she told him that I liked him because he has been avoiding me ever since. I wanna talk to him about it but I haven't gotten a hold of him lately. And since he's avoiding me we aren't really hanging out. I'm really sad since I've liked him on and off the whole year. And I'm kind of jealous of my friend cuz he's been flirting with her a whole lot. So what do I do? Do I talk to him or her. . .Or both of them? Was it wrong for me to not promise I wouldn't go out with this guy since my friend liked him too?

Well some friend. I don't think your friend told him anything about you liking him. Maybe, but maybe she told him some kind of lie.

Comfront her, it was bitchy to make you too fight over a guy like this. And why do YOU have to promise to not go out with him. Why not vice versa? These are some points you should bring up in your conversation. far is far, maybe you can make up some kind of deal. I would try to forget this guy all together, he's not helping your friend ship at all.

And well if it somes right down to it, she doesn't seen like a very good friend. So in the end talk to both of them. I would take to him first, just in case you and your friend get into a fight and she says some shit about you to him.

hope you figure things out.
~kooka

Q: I was in art class when my "friend" came up to me and tugged my braid 'affectionately', but it hurt me and I ended up screaming almost at the top of my lungs "JESUS!" I felt bad after that because almost the whole class was staring at me, and my friend was ticked that I had screamed because she had done that to me before, but I think it's childish now and I refuse to let her. I feel really bad because you really shouldn't scream that in ANY class for that matter, because it might offend some people. I think I might have offended some people, but I was really embarrassed because I screamed so loud and I was dead quiet and my face was red. I don't know what to do. What should I do?

Although I think that

Q: in 13/f and i have a medium size room with a walk in closet. i want to arrange my furniture so its wicked cool and differnt.
i have a corner shelf that i cant move
a bed
a lingerie chest (tall skinny dresser)
a desk
a book case that also cant be moved
a vanity
and a full length mirror.

i have a base ment room and ony one window so dont worry about the location of the windows/doors/closet

Thats a hard question to ask when no onw knows how your room looks.

Some times all your room needs is a little movement in the furniture. Try going with a theme. I have a red theme, try going with a zen theme. Look it up on google.

hop i helped.
~kooka

Q: I recently had a fight with my friend....and we havent talked in months. at first when we had our fight she told everyone she didnt want ot be my friend ever again...but today i asked my friend to ask her online our status. and she said she didnt think we would be the same, but she may still want to be friends. how should i act if i want to be friends but i dont want to seem annoying or clingy? i really want to repair this friendship! any tips for what to say and when?? help! i rate ^!!!

Well just be yourself, yes i know that doesn't sound like alot of advice but think about it.

why do you want to be some ones friend when you have to keep your guard up about every thing you say. If you do that she will see right through you.

relax, it'll be awkward at first but then i'm sure you'll start acting like old friends again. I'd bring up some inside jokes. Ask about her family members or pets. " so, how is so and so doing? did she get that Mp3?" stuff like that.

I'm sure you'll be fine
~kooka

Q: hey i know a lot of ppl ask this question but i sweat waaay too much.. and i cant wear long sleeves or sometimes even t-shirts.. is there another brand of antipersperant instead of certain dry (i can't find it anywhere, i'm thinkin maybe they dont sell it in canada?) but anywayz does this ever go away.. how long does it last? i rate high for good answerz

I have the same problem.

Do you also sweat on your hands, face and feet? Do you get huge sweat stains? I did and you may have something called hyperhydrosis.

It can be treated, I went to my doctor and he gave me something called Drysol (I also live in canada) you can find it in any drugstore (it's not over the counter you have to ask for it). I got it and it is really strong, I have sensitive skin so when ever I put it under my arms it stung. So my mom got me something called Mitchum (it is over the counter). It isn't as strong as drysol and is alot cheaper (drysol is $20 and Mitchum is $5). It acts like a sheild and the more you use it the the stronger the sheild gets. You can even get BOTOX injected into your underarms, hands and feet. Or in more extrem cases you can even under go surgery. of course these are last resort kind of things. In short I use drysol on my hands and feet and mitchum on my under arms. If you want more info on hyperhidrosis go to.

www.sweatmanagement.ca

tell your mom and go to the doctor. And you'll be able to live with it.

good luck
~kooka

Q: okay since the last person i gave head to.. i have been getting bumps in my mouth.. like one bump a day and it would go away.. and a few days later another bump would come but at another spot.. i am really scared! the bumps hurt also.. and please dont tell me to go to the doctors because i will someday but i just need help NOW ..okay thanks

I was looking around for info on herpes and I couldn't find anything that related to the mouth. Gential Herpes infects the gential area.

This may just be a infection that the doctor can treat - but I really don't know, and I don't think anyone else on here can give you anything to do right away.

All I can think of is to get an appointment with your doctor right away. This could be small or it could be something big but only the doctor will know. I knnow you said not to say "go to the doctor I because I will go someday" but you shouldn't just go someday you need to go now.

hope it's notthing too serious
~kooka

Q: ok im home alone and i want to visit a pornographioc website for fun and out of curiosity on my laptop...if i delete the website i was at can my parents still catch me? like will those nasty advertisements be constantly popping up

well it depends on the website you went to. If there where alot of popups when you went to the site then they might popup on your computer. Try getting a program that stops popups. And if it''s your laptop then I don't think you should be worring about your parents going on.

~kooka

Q: okay, i have this problem.. adimting i need help. and after what happened last night, i really need to ask for help. so i was at the mall with 2 of my friends, my mom, and my sister. well my mom called the the B word, and i go w/e and walked off. then she came up and hit me with a rather heavey bag, and i just turned around and pushed her. i had NO idea what was going on. like .. i didnt relize what i did. and i was supposed to go to a party that night with those 2 friends. my mom took them home, and me back to my house and grounded me for the day. she also took away my cell phone, and she had taken away my AIM last weekend.
i dont know what to do with my self, i dont know what has gotten into me.. it just feels everything is happening. and i cant controll anything, also i suck at asking for help.
can any one help me on here?
13/f

At school go to your school guidence teacher. One big problem is that your mom callled you a bitch and hit you. Go to the guidence teach and tell him/her what your problrm is (both of them). I don't think talking to your mom is going to be a great idea, most likely she'll just ground you again. Can you talk to your sister? Or your best friends?

Hang in there you'll be okay.

all my luck
~kooka

Q: I am 16 and my ex bf, who is bi-polar and is constantly trying to convince me to take him back, won't take the hint. I finally was able to convince him to just be friends and told him that if he couldn't handle being friends then I would never talk to him again. (Which was being very nice, considering he followed me around everywhere I went, pratically stalking me!) When we were dating he always ran off, got drunk, and then couldn't tell me what all happened at the parties he went to. So of course I felt uneasy about his "weekly routine". I told him that if he didn't stop that we would break up. So he swore off drinking (because he obviously couldn't handle it). But not even a week after that he calls me at 4 in the morning, drunk off his ass. I was pissed. Because not only did he promise me that he was going to stop, but I would think that he would care enough about us being together that he would stop. We had been together for almost 7 months and I finally decided to end it. It has been 2 months since I broke up with him and yesterday he told me he was going to a party and he wasn't going to drink. Then he called me today and told me he was so happy because he didn't drink. I was so excited that he was actually trying to sober up. But later tonight he adimitted he had lied to me. He had got piss drunk last night and was 5 shots away from dying. I felt betrayed, lied to, and pissed off, yet I still felt upset for him. Even though we are just friends, I still really care about him and I hate to see him destroy his life like this. He gets so depressed, then he drinks, throws angry fits, runs off, and then shows up hours later acting like nothing happened. I want to help him so bad, because I partially feel like it's my fault because maybe he is acting this way because he feels that I'm not there for him anymore. He has a drinking problem and I know it. Alcoholism runs in his family and everytime I tell him he needs to get help he denies even having a problem. Is there anything I can do to help him? I care about him so damn much and I can't bear to see him do this to himself. I'm so scared I am going to wake up one morning and find out he killed himself, and I was never able to help him. Please help me! I would really appreciate it!

You alone cannot help him. I would think of getting an adult into this, I good idea is to get someone from his family who was an alocholic and talk to him. You may even have to go as far as to get him to go to rehab.

This isn't your falt and it was pobably a good idea to break up with him but still be friends. This is really hard on you and you can't do this alone.

If you don't want to find him dead then you need to take action. One problem at a time. As soon as he sobers up, then start thing more towards your relationship.

Try looking around for a place in your city/town that helps people with alcoholism. Go on google... etc.

Remeber this is his problem, and he is the only one who can sober up - although you can be a big infulence to help him stop.

good luck
~kooka

Q: Okay well im turning 13 and guys just dont seem to like me... they have intrests in lots of my other friends but just not me... guys have never really liked me, im not sure why though, not to sound vain but im not ugly, am i doing something wrong?!

your not doing anything wrong. Maybe your kinda shy and boys don't really notice you?

It doesn't matter though, soon you will find a guy who likes you for who you are - it wont take long. Plus why don't you try going after a guy instead of a guy waiting to go after you?

I'm 14 and I may not be the sharpest tool in the shead, but I've had boyfriends. Hell, why not try to get a friend to set you up?

Just relax and you'll find someone eventually.

~kooka

Q: I got my period 7 monthes ago but im still getting discharge... does it ever stop!

Sadly, no, it never really stops. It can be light depending on the girl - but if it's staining your underwear get some paintie liners. they are really thin and you (or any other person) do not notice them.

~kooka

Q: My Boyfriend is coming over tomorrow. At my house its really boring. We need things to do! Its not suppose to be cloudy out but we cant really do much. also i wanna go futher with hikm to 3rd but my parents r always around! how can we get enough time alone and what are other things we can do for a whole day?

(ps if u suggest watching a movie, can you pretty please suggest a good one you have watched?)
THANKS SO MUCH!

Well if you want to go out for a movie I suggest "revenge of the sith" it's been out for awhile so may be you can grab a theater thats not so full ;)

After the movie if it's sunny you can walk around some downtown/main streets.
It really depends where you live.

Go to your cities website and look for some attractions. the most important thing is that you and your boyfriend are going to spend some time with each other. No matter what you do I'm sure you'll find something to do.

~kooka

Q: So, there's this boy...
We've been talking alot online, but i don't really see him much... well, i'm pretty sure i like him. i'm also pretty sure he likes me, but we get into these stupid arguments alot, that he usually starts. it's almost as if he's doing that to make conversation or something. another thing, he's told me about these dreams he's had about me. they usually involve us getting pretty intimate... and i'm not sure why he told me about it, but im not sure what i should make of it. what do you think?

uuuh. Kinda weird if you ask me.

As for the arguments, are they just competative arguments? Or full on fights? I once new a guy, and we tried the long distance thing - he always told me that I was hot and sexy and cute, even though he had only seen an old picture of me. It made me feel weird and the whole thing did not work out.

If you get pissed off about the fights then tell him so. If you get pissed off about him telling you weird stuff in his dreams them TELL HIM SO. Most guys like girls who stand up for themselves.

I guess you could try it but just make sure you feel totaly comfortible with him and don't make him pressure you into anything your not ready for - even if it is anything as small as a kiss.

all my luck
~kooka

Q: heyy well I just got my period and I was wondering when do you know it is ending? because..it has been the same flow since the first day. I had it for four days so far. Also does your stomach bloat when you have your period? Also my friend said all your fat goes to your legs is hat true? thanks

Every one is different. For example, I'll have three days of aa heavy flow and the rest of the week is light.

For most people your flow gets lighter at the end of your period. Of you think your period is ending wear some very small thin pads (or panite liners) for a day and if nothing shows up your done.

Yes sometimes when you have your period you may bloat. It is a form of PMS (premenstrual symtom), here are some common PMS symtoms.
acne
* bloating
* fatigue
* backaches
* sore breasts
* headaches
* constipation
* diarrhea
* food cravings
* depression or feeling blue
* irritability
* difficulty concentrating
* difficulty handling stress

and a website.

http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/menstrual_problems.html

And as for as "all your fat goes to your legs" I really don't think that is true.

~good luck, it's really not that bad once you get used to it.

Kooka

p.s. if you have anymore questions feel free to ask me

Q: ok everyone. i need help on some outfits. i just got rid of 3/4 of my clothes. i don't know what kind of "in style" clothes i should get for the summer. i need some help.

I love to layer it's great for the summer.
flowing skirts and dresses are also nice for the summer. Look in magazines and fine what kind of style you like and then go to stores and look for cheeper clothes that look like what you saw.

if your friend doesn't mind bring them along for a second opinion.

hope you find what you're looking for.
~kooka

Q: ok here it is. i love this guy alot and me and him dated but i broke it off with him b/c he kissed another girl. now i think i might have sex with this guy. i don't know. i really want to but who knows if i am emotionally ready for this. i need help A.S.A.P!!!

if you don't know if your ready, your not ready.

Why loose your verginity to a guy that might break your heart after wards. Is he truly sorry that he kissed another girl? if not move on. It'll be hard but in the end you will end up with less scars then if you got back together with him and had sex.

Unless hes REALLY REALLY sorry then he should be totaly out of your love life. It's not okay to put yourself throught this kind of damage.

i've seen what happens when things like this go bad and it's not something you want to want to get into.

bio

I am a 14 year old girl in a big city. I live off other peoples drama so i end up giving alot of advice. Love vargas girls, knitting and many other things. Feel free to write me any time at kooka_burra@hotmail.com