about

HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.

if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D

advice

14 year old Male
So ok. There's this girl that I like a lot. I think I'm in love with her. She's all I ever think about; I even dream about her. She's like my best friend. We tell each other EVERYTHING. I've known her for three years now (we went to the same middle school, and now the same high school), and it was practically love at first sight. Oh and the other day she said i could be her savior. :)
Each time that I was about to tell her how i felt, I'd get a case of the nerves and decide not to. Each time this happened (twice), she ended up being taken within the next week.
As of now she's taken, and I like her, and so does another guy, and I don't know what to do. I told her once but didn't really ask her out and now I'm beating myself up about that. Please Please Please help. She's the most amazing person i've ever met and I love her.

If you feel this strongly about her, then you have to give it a shot. What if you never tell her and then years later you regret it and kick yourself for not trying? You'll always wonder "what if?" and that sucks :[

She's taken now, I understand that, but maybe if you tell her she'll be really happy and not even want to be with the guy. Do you think she sees you as just a friend or do you think she might see you as more? Think about what she does when you hang out, does she flirt? touch you? She might be waiting for YOU to make the move. Tell her you have feelings for her, but don't want to mess things up for her or your friendship if she doesn't feel the same. You gotta go for it if you truly love her.

[view]

I've been dating the love of my life for about two years now, and am in my mid-twenties. I had this weird and awful feeling a couple days ago that he was hiding something from me. I went through his phone (truth be told, first time ever). And I found a text that he wrote to one of his friends: "Ashley's friend is sexy. I like her. Is she over 18?" I know he loves me and would never act on anything, but I feel so terrible. And I feel more terrible for going through his phone in the first place. Any advice would be more than appreciated!

This is a difficult situation. Sometimes it's better not to know, but then again, we don't want to blindly sit back and get hurt right? It's time to think things through before you act. Ask yourself.. has he EVER done anything that has betrayed your trust? has he ever went behind your back and then you found out about it later? have you guys been arguing/not getting along recently or has there been tension/awkwardness? by answering these questions, you'll know where you stand. After thinking things through, and you come to realize that he has never hurt or betrayed you than let it go BUT if you realize that any of those questions hit at your heart, talk to him. Communication is key. It'll eat at you for days, weeks, maybe months if you don't talk to him and the tension builds. If he freaks out about you going through his phone and becomes extremely defensive and hostile, something might be up.. guys tend to go into extreme denial mode when they're up to no good.

[view]

does anyone know what the average pay is for one of those girls who dance in the most of the rap videos? i was just curious to how much they get paid for dressing like a skank and shaking their ass in a camera lol.

They actually don't make alot of money. Many people think they do because they're in videos with rappers/singers who make millions, but it's the opposite. They usually make between $10-$20 an hour, but imagine all the sweat and work they have to do to make everything perfect, so it's really not alot if you break it down. If you're very, very good and you have alot of experience, you can make $25 an hour (maybe more) but that's rare. Hope that helped! :)

[view]

my boyfriend of 6 1/2 months broke it off today. i guess we're both the problem in the relationship somewhat, we've broken up a few times in the past. one thing wrong with me is im a very moody person. one day ill be totally fine. and then ill get depressed after awhile,..and then my boyfriend will annoy me and ill get really bitchy. he told me today he was sick of all my bullshit, and i knew he was referring to my on and off moodiness. i got pissed at him and the argument got way heated. we were screaming at eachother and i even kind of jumped on him? like i guess i was trying to hurt him or something, i dont really know what i was doing. and i made the mistake of doing that in front of his mom -.-'' so obviously, im the main point of this while breakup. i dont really know how things are going to work out for us, and if they do eventually pass and we become friends in the long run, ill be way lucky.

i just want to know how to not fuck up another relationship. im 16 and ive had 11 failed relationships. i hate dating around, and want to find one guy to spend my life with, and obviously thats not working out. how do i hide my emotions? how do i control my anger? how can i stay cool even when im a total emotional wreck on the inside?

can someone help me?

Okay, you're 16! You're looking for a guy to spend the rest of your life with? A very very small percentage of people find the person they're going to marry or be with forever at 16, or 17, or 18! I know this might not be the answer you're looking for, but it might be the advice you really need. You sound very mature and that is always a great thing. 11 failed relationships at 16 is normal, because at 16 we're still developing and feeling out what kind of guy/girl we like. We see what's out there and our likes/dislikes in partners. There's no need to be bummed that you have all those failed relationships because you're 16, not 36. You have sooooo much time to find the right person. You will have more failed relationships (not necessarily your fault!) because that's what happens in love & life. Emotions, anger, moodiness, hormones, etc. is at an all time high during teenage years. It's normal you're feeling all those things, but they will get better with time and age. Don't hide emotions or anger, it's who you are at this point and how you feel. I hope you realize that you have your whole life to find someone, someone that will understand you and appreciate you, possibly your soulmate. Just relax and take it easy, don't pressure yourself. Love takes time and it's worth the wait.

[view]

ok so i have this friend and we have been BFFs for 6 years. We have had some of the best times and were always honest with eachother. but all of a sudden shes been lying to me. and i can even prove it. she goes and tells me something about her family ( cause her parents are getting a divorce, and she might move to florida) and then her mom will tell my mom something totally different. Shes even been lying to me about who she hangs out with. like the other day i got a text from her saying dont tell taylor were hanging out (BTW im taylor), and i was like WTF? and she was like that was supposed to go to someone else. Idk what to do, i mean i give up everything for her.... any advice?

It doesn't seem like something seriously to get worried about. To break it down, 1) the lying about her family & their issues, she might be getting different info or maybe she overheard her parents talking and exaggerated or got the wrong idea. Her parents could have told her they were moving and then changed their minds, so don't blame her for that. She's probably really confused and doesn't know what's going on. And 2) about that text, she might have meant to send that to you to get a reaction.. or she may have been hanging out with someone you didn't like or something along those lines. Talk to her and see if everything's okay. Ask her if she has any problems with you or if something is going on and that she can talk to you about anything.

[view]

I have a Bachelor's degree in computer science, and maybe it's just my lack of confidence, but if I look at a list of tech related job descriptions I feel like I'm not qualified for almost all of them. What should I do to improve my confidence in my abilities? It seems like my degree isn't enough and it makes me nervous to see these jobs and their requirements. In other words, what did you do when you graduated? I mean, how did you transition from school and learning to actually working? Also, how do you know what kinds of jobs you should be applying for? I feel like I'm missing something big...

Try monster.com or careerbuilder.com, those are the best sites out there for looking for a job in your area. There's tons of them out there and you can be very general in your search, so you get a wide variety of different jobs that have to do with tech and computer science related jobs. Most of the jobs I've seen (since I'll soon have a Bachelors myself) require a Bachelor's degree and minimal experience. If you see a job that you are really interested in and it says under requirements a MA or higher degree or alot of experience required, GO FOR IT ANYWAY. They'll ask about it during an interview but act confident and say that you can do this job and you'd love to prove it. 9 times out of 10 they will love your enthusiasm and will give you a chance to show your skills. Computer science is a growing field, so you should have no trouble.

Also, I don't know if you tried this already.. but most colleges have a career counselor or advisor that will help you find a job in your field once you graduate, so I would look into that.

[view]

I have combination skin...oily some days butdry some other days. I've gotten the dry half a little under control thanks to a really good moisturizer, but sometimes my face is a little oily and I have troubles with foundation now. I've tried all types, liquids, powders and mousse kinds. I feel liquids are always too heavy, powders don't cover properly, and mousses seem to get absorbed into my skin and I look just like I've never put make up on.

I'm looking for a light foundation with pretty good coverage, but my main request if for something that LASTS. I feel like any make up I put on just disappears within a few hours and I'm back to looking like poo. haha Thanks for the help!

Hey.. I have combo skin too and I use L'Oreal True Match liquid makeup. It never gives me trouble, and is heavy enough to cover imperfections/blemishes BUT light enough so you can't really tell you're wearing it and can barely feel it. They have millions of shades, so you will DEFF find you're exact color.

If you don't want to try that, you can always add a bit of water to any liquid you have and it makes it less heavy. Stay away from the mousse kind, they never seem to workout for me either!

[view]

I heard a song the other day, but Im not sure what the name of the song is. Does anyone know what song these lyrics are from:

With you.
You make my world so bright.
Feels so right.
You take my breath away.
I thank god everyday.
With you.

These are just some phrases from the chorus that I was able to remember. If it helps, a woman sings the song. Thank you.

Hey, try Christina Aguilera - Without You. It has one of the lines you mentioned in the song and sounds very similar. Hope it's the song you're looking for!

[view]

so my band director hes in like his 20's & hes married. We are really close like he's my second dad, I trust him alot. Since we have such a close relationship we walk to classes together or like we'll be in band & he'll pick me out of the crowd to do an errand. My favorite is when my lunch table goes up to get lunch he sits w/ me & keep me company b/c I pack. He also lets me come down for a lesson whenever I please, like all i would have to do is show up & he doesn't care because he's happy to help me but w/ everyone else they need to be assigned a lesson time. EVERYONE thinks him & I are doing it. It's ridiculous. I tell everybody that we are just chill &.. his wife is pregnant! It's crazy I can't be anywhere in the hallway w/ him alone or people would whistle. What's your take on our relationship, creepy.. it's to close.. we should be strictly teacher student?

I don't know how old you are or if you're in middle or high school... but as long as you're not doing anything inappropriate it, it's perfectly FINE. Do you like him in a romantic way or do you just feel very close to him, in a 2nd dad way like you said? Has he ever touched you in a romantic way or hinted at liking you? I'm sure you see where I'm going here. You guys have not crossed any lines and people whistle because thats the way kids/teenagers are. You should feel lucky to have a close relationship with a teacher and that you can count on him. Just make sure it stays in the boundary lines (as in, don't hang out outside of school or call eachother)

[view]

today i let my friend borrow my mascara.
later today she went home sick and has a sinus infection
could i get sick from letting her use my mascara?

Since she touched it and put it near her eye, I wouldn't use it again. Just to be safe, just buy a new mascara and tell her to keep that one. If she asks why than just say you're scared of getting sick jokingly, and if she gives it back to you anyway, throw it away.

[view]

13/F

Okay. Here it goes. So there is the first guy (we"ll call him P) and I really like him. I have liked him for a year (maybe 2...) and I am truely crazy about him. He knows I like him and he has told me he likes me too. But, we had decided a long time ago not to date. He is 14 btw. See, hes moving soon (matter of days) and we have known this all year which is why I was do reluctant to date him, even though we both like eachother and act like a couple anyway... He is real cleancut. Plays 2 sports, on the honor roll, respectful, sweet, you get the point. But then there is this other boy...

This other boy is 15, goes to a diferent school, and we'll call him D. He is definitely not the kind of boy people would expect me to be with. I'm a good kid, straight A's, soccer, you know... People could undestand me and P being together but D would shake things up. Hes not BAD. But, he's not really a good kid... A few nights ago I was at a sleepover and he texted me at midnight asking what I was up to. I told him I was at my friends house and that we were just chilling. Well about an hour later (1 am) he called me and told me to come outside. He had gotten his friend to drive him to my friends house and was trying to get us to come out. We of course declined and they stayed outside the house until like 2 before they finally gave up and left. D is exciting and he told me he wants to hang and... Then I remember P. I still like him!! I am so confused! P is moving but I really like him and D is a bad boy but I really like him too! Do i have a commitment to P even though we arent together? I dont know what to do! Help!

If this guy P doesn't want to step up and be with you, then maybe it's time to move on. He's moving and you guys have decided not to date, so I don't see the problem in liking the other guy D. I know you've liked P for awhile and you guys probably have a history and know eachother well, but he doesn't want to make the relationship between you two official. Go for this guy D. Things could workout and you owe yourself to give it a try. He's a bit older and if he tries anything on you you don't like or you realize you don't really like him, no harm done! Just move on. Give it a chance though, because you might regret it later.

[view]

Hey,
18/female


I really, really like this guy. No, this isn't one of those "do you think he likes me back" questions. Anyways, two of my friends told me that they heard he is a "bad guy" and he just likes to sleep around and can be rude to girls. But he is never rude to me. My one friend asked his girlfriend about the guy I like because they are in the same grade. He then told me that she said that she heard the same thing, that he is a 'bad guy.' I'm just not sure what to believe because he says the sweetest things, does the sweetest things and he's just so sweet. For example, we were talking a walk one night and there was this huge puddle of water. I'm talking huge. Like I would of had to jump across it. So, what does he do? He picks me up and carries me across the water. I was in heaven. Anyways, my friends heard that he is bad news and just wants 'sexual relationships' but he never pressures me or tries to do anything sexual with me. If he wants to go further, take it to the next level he'll ask and if I say no he won't ask any questions.


I have a good head on my shoulders and I know how to say no to guys. I've been hurt in the past and I like to take things slow and not rush into anything too sexual right away.


So I guess what I'm asking is should I continue hanging out with him/talking with him and see for myself? I feel like in life you need to take chances. I don't want to look back and say wonder "what if?" But I also don't want to get hurt.

Well, like you said.. you have a good head on your shoulders, so make sure you use it!

There's always rumors and gossip about 'bad' guys and sometimes it's true, and sometimes it's not. You don't know the full story but then again, he would never admit to you "Oh, yeah, I only like to get girls into bed."

Take a chance and see where it leads. He MIGHT be acting all sweet and nice so he can get you. Then when he gets you, he'll start the pressuring. I'm not saying he will, but some bad guys do that. If you start to find out that the gossip is true, then get out asap because it'll only get worse. If he seems to be genuinely sweet and nice guy, continue it. You've gotta find out for yourself, but always remember that you want to take things slow. Don't change your values for anyone, especially a guy!

[view]

Ive been on the birth control pill for about 4-5 months now, i take it right, never missed a day and always at the same time. My boyfriend accidently "came" inside of me. What is the chance i could be pregnant?

If you have been taking it like you say you have, then there's only a 1-2% chance of getting pregnant. I wouldn't worry, you'll be fine.

[view]

(16/f)

okay ello im danni mi mom has put a pass word on her main scrren of her computor so wen she logs on she put the answer in and then she can acess her things butt she recently changed to password and now she cant remember it is there any ways she can get into her files and her computor with out accessing that password ??

If the only thing on the screen that pops up is the place to put the password in, then the only way she can get on to it is to call the computer company. For example, if you have a Dell computer or Imac computer, you have to call the company and they will help.

[view]

19/f

Three months ago I met an amazing guy and we ended up together. Hhe is going travelling around the US with his family in a few months. I really really like this guy, I'm his first gf and he really likes me too but im scared he will do the 'sensible' thing and break up with me when he goes. What am i going to do?

You're right and it's only been 3 months.. so if you really like him, don't scare him off! You two have been hanging out and having fun and going with the flow.. so do not push him away by going a little nuts and getting upset about it. I'm sure he likes you just as much, but guys get scared so easily early in a relationship.

IF he does break up with you before he leaves, take it calmly and react with dignity. Say you understand and that hopefully when he comes back, things could change or you guys could work something out and leave it open to possibilities. If you cry or flip out, he will NOT want to call you when he gets back, but if you react sweetly, he'll think "This girl is really cool, she's not going crazy on me."

IF he does not break up with you, and just leaves on the same terms you guys are on now, tell him to give you a call when he's not busy and maybe send some postcards. Tell him you'll miss him and to have fun. He'll notice that you're not being clingy and just genuine and sweet. When he comes back, he'll deff want to come see the girl that treated him respectfully!

[view]

Are you more likly to get pregnant when your on your period then when off it?

My period is really crazy.
I start&&then have it for 2days.
Then I stop but the last 1or2, of the 7 days, I start again but not really enough that I would coinsider a "period". Its more like spotting.
Does that change anything?

Srry but I thought I was off my period
when I had sex but its soo weird that I was wrong.
;/

BTW
Its been like that for Years!! I dont think theres anything wrong with me if its like that..right?

Thanks

I don't know how old you are, BUT if you've had your period for more than a year now, it should be regular and not stop/start and then spot. I don't think there's anything wrong, but I suggest seeing a gyno. I think gynos are like gods! They know everything and are always willing to help and will be honest. If you're scared of what your parents will say/wonder, just say you're having issues with your period.

Also, you are more likely to get pregnant when you're off your period. There's a very slim chance of getting pregnant during your period.

[view]

Hi, (18/f)

I like this guy (also 18) we've been talking everyday and hanging out one night a week and also on the weekends for the past 2.5 weeks. Whenever we hang out we do the whole "cuddling, kissing, hand holding" thing and it's just so perfect. We play with my dogs haha and he always says "wait until you meet mine" and whatnot. Also, this one time my sister asked him if he needed a drink while she was going downstairs and he said no thanks and then whispered to me "I have what I need right here."

We were talking for about 1 hour last night and everything was going great. He said he might be able to hang out tomorrow night after he got off work. (as in today) Anyways, we were talking today and he said that work is really crazed right now so he wouldn't be able to hang out tonight and maybe not this week anymore. So I asked if he wanted to do something this weekend and he said that he might be going to the beach but he wasn't sure yet and he said he'd let me know.

He's sweet. These people at my work are b*tches to me and I was telling him about them. He said to mess them up. (But just jokingly) And I said "haha, yeah I could I'm pretty strong) and he said "or you could get someone else very strong to help you.." and was hinting about himself. He's really nice and always calls me gorgeous, hun, etc. We talk on the phone and through AIM and as soon as he gets on AIM after school or after work or before school he'll i/m me right away and we'll talk & talk about whatever.

I went to high school with him, (he's a year younger then me) so I know who he is. For once a guy found me. I wasn't looking for anybody and then out of the blue he showed up and I just think/hope that this could turn into something more.

I guess what I'm asking is if this means he likes me? I don't really know. I'm confused. I like him but I don't know what he thinks.

I know I can just ask him what his feelings are, but I want to get to know him a little more and hang out with him a little more to see if something sparks. I'm just all around confused.

Part of me thinks he does like me but then you never know with guys. They are a very confusing gender. Haha.

I guess I'm also asking if there is any signs I can look out for or anything like that. Mostly I just need someone else's opinion. What they think this all means. I need a second imput.

Thank you & sorry it's so long.

It all sounds very, very sweet. It made me smile just reading your story. Everything seems to be going well, so please don't jinx yourself and the relationship! I know girls tend to want to know "where is this going exactly?" and guys tend to go with the flow more often. He definitely seems to like you, so don't worry about that. He hangs out with you, calls you, IMs you, holds you, etc, etc.

It's good to hear you want to get to know him better and hang out more to see where things will go and how you really feel, because that's mature. Take things slow, there is no need to rush. If things are meant to be, they will happen. My advice and imput is basically to relax and take a deep breath. Appreciate what you guys have right at this moment. You are happy right? Then let things flow and don't rush the label thing (boyfriend/girlfriend). If things continue to go well and there's a definite spark, then you can discuss becoming a real couple. You guys seem very into eachother and I hope that it works out well. ENJOY THIS! (as long as you are happy and he seems happy)

[view]

18/F In the supermarket parking lot, I was approached by a homeless man and he said he needed money to go to the hospital. My mom was still inside the store, so I felt I should just give him what he asked for and I wouldn't have to worry about him harming me or anything. I gave him five dollars. However, I'm not naive. I'm aware that he could be buying drugs or booze with the money. What should I have done...? I felt too defenseless and scared to turn him away.

It's very sweet and kind of you to do that.. and I'm glas to hear that you are not naive and you have an idea of what he might have done with the money.

Next time, simply say "I don't have any money on me, sorry." Don't worry about him harming you, just make sure you don't come off weak or scared. You can also walk away while saying it, so you are not close to him.

[view]

Okay. I'm a 19 year old girl. I know this sounds really wierd, but i am in college and i have absolutely no money. I got to school on a scholarship and ive had to get loans for room and board. I have no money to eat or support myself with so i do something i'm not proud of. I am a stripper. But the thing is i really love doing it! its so much fun and a great confidence booster! but do you think i should stop doing this degrading thing even though it makes me happy?

If you are a college girl trying to get her life together, then you should not be ashamed. You're happy, so don't worry what others think. I hope you are being safe and responsible though. Bottom line is, keep going to school and keep working, you'll be fine!

[view]

i was wondering what is relationships like for mormon girls and sexually what do they do like aloweed to .. im a catholic so i was just wondering. thannks

If someone is of the Mormom religion, they are basically not allowed to do anything sexually (until marriage). This includes passionate kissing AND touching private parts. If a Mormon is doing those things, they are not following their religion fully.

I'm not sure what their relationships are like because I'm not a Mormon, but you can always google it to find out more.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker