I've been dating the love of my life for about two years now, and am in my mid-twenties. I had this weird and awful feeling a couple days ago that he was hiding something from me. I went through his phone (truth be told, first time ever). And I found a text that he wrote to one of his friends: "Ashley's friend is sexy. I like her. Is she over 18?" I know he loves me and would never act on anything, but I feel so terrible. And I feel more terrible for going through his phone in the first place. Any advice would be more than appreciated!
Relationships are based on communication and trust. You didn't trust him, so you invaded his privacy, and while that is in the past and you can't change it, you should be truthful and tell him you went through his phone.
Ask him what the text meant? Honestly, it might be nothing, and maybe you two will be laughing it off after the conversation?
If you show that you're honest, maybe he'll tell you what the text meant.
just_ask_me answered Sunday July 19 2009, 6:05 pm: This is a difficult situation. Sometimes it's better not to know, but then again, we don't want to blindly sit back and get hurt right? It's time to think things through before you act. Ask yourself.. has he EVER done anything that has betrayed your trust? has he ever went behind your back and then you found out about it later? have you guys been arguing/not getting along recently or has there been tension/awkwardness? by answering these questions, you'll know where you stand. After thinking things through, and you come to realize that he has never hurt or betrayed you than let it go BUT if you realize that any of those questions hit at your heart, talk to him. Communication is key. It'll eat at you for days, weeks, maybe months if you don't talk to him and the tension builds. If he freaks out about you going through his phone and becomes extremely defensive and hostile, something might be up.. guys tend to go into extreme denial mode when they're up to no good. [ just_ask_me's advice column | Ask just_ask_me A Question ]
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