Member Since: March 2, 2017
Answers: 74
Last Update: June 21, 2017
Visitors: 2830
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Hi 18/F .. I am in Gr12 this year and I have a lot of stress. My mom is a single parent and I have a younger sister and my grandmother lives with us. We have financial issues but I feel like my mom is taking her stress and anger out on us. I don't know what to do because she's constantly yelling at us. I can't talk to het because then she will be really angry. I can't take any more stress. Please help me? (link)
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not much you can do to help your mom. Luckily, you only have 1 more year.
Get good grades and decide if you want to go to collage right away or work. your best bet is to keep your head down and keep your eyes on your future.
parents are not too keen to taking advice from their kids. if you want you would try to talk to your grandmother.
It is good to help your parents/grandparents but you must also help yourself. and this is a help yourself kind of moment.
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Hello there,
A boy says,'see, you're my darling and I will do anything for you' with a smile after helping me out with a project and I told him nope, not everything with the hint of smile and we both laughed. We go to same university and became good mates. Today, he was asking me if I have a Facebook and I said, 'why do you wanna know?' so that he could add me, he said. Now, I'm aware that he has a girlfriend and he's aware that I have a boyfriend. What's going on in his mind or should I not be thinking too much out if it? Thank you. (link)
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You are looking too much into things.
He may have made a flirty comment and you playfully shut it down. Some people are just flirty by nature and there is no hidden agenda.
He wants to be facebook friends with you. there is nothing wrong with that.
You both have significant others and unless you are in open relationships then nothing can happen. unless he starts making bolder moves, it sounds like total innocent behavior.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years (the first two years were off and on). We recently moved in with each other in May of last year. So.. almost a year. I'm 26 and he's 23. We use to fight a lot last year because I have a stable and fiscally beneficial job whereas he does not and refuses to do anything to change it. At the beginning of the year he said he would make more of an effort to find a better job but has done nothing about it. I have stopped pressuring him about it because it gets us nowhere but into pretty heated arguments. However, I pay for pretty much everything and part of me is starting to resent him. Which is probably why we get into fights a lot. You know it's crazy because I look back at the first 3 years of our relationship and I can't help but wish it was those simpler times again. We really loved each other back then... I mean really loved each other. Now I can't even stand to look at him. And I can tell he is starting to resent me too because we can't go a day without fighting. It's over the silliest stuff but it ends up in pretty big fights. I'm just at my wits ends because I've been in relationships like these before and I know how they end and I'm just trying to prepare myself for what's eventually going to be coming (both physically and emotionally). I can stand being home anymore because I know he's here and I know we're just going to ignore each other and I hate feeling uncomfortable in my own house. I guess my question is how do I go about kicking him out of the house? Both mine and his name are on the lease but I'm more than capable of paying it myself.. I just know if I kick him out he'll have nowhere to go and I'll feel bad but right now I feel even worse having him here... I don't know what to do.. Should I keep trying or just call it a day? (link)
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some breakups are easy. Breakups with live-in boyfriends are VERY HARD. Make sure you are certain you want to breakup and once you make up your mind do not back down no matter what.
You know your boyfriend better than me. If you truly believe that he is not trying hard enough and you are unhappy then there is one one choice.
Sit him down and give him the hard facts. If he will not move then you may have to wait out the lease and that will be and very unpleasant living situation.
breaking up is probably the right move. I just want you to understand you will have to have a heart of stone until he find another place to live.
He will not be happy, there may be tears and begging and promises. For him; you are his girlfriend, you are the roof over his head, you are the food in his mouth. He will not want to lose all those things.
I will say again you will need a heart of stone.
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Hello, this is kind of an awkward question. So me and my friend are in the 9th grade and we were doing homework in my room and she fell asleep on the bed. But her feet were sticking out, so her feet were on top of the desk and they happened to be right on my notebook. I didn't want to wake her up so I just kept working with her feet in my face lol, but her toes kept wiggling a lot so I got distracted and started playing around with them.
for example I pushed her toes a few times and they would start wiggling by themselves. Then I would hold her toes still to make them stop wiggling. so I did this whenever I wanted her toes to start wiggling lol. Then I turned on the radio to see what happens, and when I pushed her toes they start wiggling to the beat of the song. I thought it was really cute, so I made them follow my voice instructions too, for example I whispered "wiggle faster" while her toes were wiggling, and suddenly they started wiggling faster. and when I whispered "point your toes", she makes the tippy-toes like a ballet dancer. I think she was dreaming about dancing coz we both like to dance :P
Is it a normal thing for me to think her feet are cute, and to play with them this way? I haven't told her about this yet, coz I think it might sound awkward telling her that I kept her toes wiggling like nonstop while she was asleep. Thanx (link)
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Messing with sleeping is tons of fun.
Just don't wake them up suddenly, that is not cool
Tell your friend you are a toe whisperer, You have the power to control toes!!!
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There's this guy in my grade who I have been friends with for a few years. Me and him liked each other 4 years ago, but never dated. We became very close this year because him and his girlfriend broke up (she broke up with him).
He went thru depression because he "loves" her. Anyway, I was there for him to get over her and I basically went through hell. We had so many fights and we dented our friendship a lot.
They were broken up for about a month and few days. I started realizing I like him again and the day I realized that was the day his gf asked him for another chance.
Since then, our friendship has been extremely shaky. I got mad at him for getting back together
with her because that girl is a total b****. She hurt him bad, and he's stupid for agreeing to date her again.
Yesterday, she actually got mad at him because of my snapchat story. His gf knows I like him (he knows I like him, too), and she hates me for it. She thought my quotes that I posted on snap were meant for her (they weren't). She got all pissed and mad at HIM for not scolding me for my story (stupid, I know).
Everything's okay today, except for the fact that I posted a pic of him on my story and she texted him and said she didn't like it, which resulted in him telling me to not post pics of him on my story ever again. I blocked her.
I got really pissed off about all this... I don't know what he sees in her, but she obviously has jealousy issues. And she doesn't want me and him to be friends, and I know for a fact that in the future, she'll ask him to stop being friends with me.
Knowing this, I asked him, "If she were to tell you that you can only date her if you stopped being friends with me, would you stop being my friend?" He said he would choose her over me because he doesn't wanna lose her again.
I decided that I'm done being friends with him. He hurt me way too many times and why would I want to be friends with someone who chooses their girlfriend/boyfriend over their friends? What do you think? Do you think I'm exaggerating? Help. :( (link)
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Sounds like he made things clear to you and you understand that if you continue to be his friend you will never be as important to him as his gf is.
Since you have feelings for him, it is best just to move on stop being his friends. It is not the easy choice but it is the right one.
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I broke up with my boyfriend of two years this past beginning of summer though we were together my sophomore, junior, and senior year with a small breakup in between. When we broke up I handled it very maturely and nicely - more than I should have been but I wanted to leave it on good terms because I genuinely care about him as a person and I told him that and explained everything for why I felt as I did. The main reason I did this was because I didn't want to leave something out in this way or handle it with anger that would make me want to reach out and get "closure." I've already realized that's pointless and stupid. So we talked it through and he was hysterical and so upset but I still went through with it because I know he's not right for me and he didn't treat me right and I deserve better. We havent seen each other since amazingly even though we live in the same town very close and go to school together. I reached out to him once for his bday which was four and half months later just to say happy birthday and hope youre doing well. Since then I hadn't talked to him and I could tell from his response that he missed me and still cared. That was the first and only time I've ever reached out to him because I went cold turkey which I don't regret. I heard from him two months later for Christmas which I was very surprised about and then the following month for my birthday which I woke up to a text from him. He repeatedly said hope your doing well, i'll always be here if you need me, hopefully i'll speak to you again, i'll see you when I see you, and if you ever need to talk and I know him too well that this is his way of saying I miss you and I want you back but is too scared to say it because I dumped him. Not that any of this matters because I do NOT want to get back with him at all i've moved and am happy. But I wonder is it so weird to ask to meet up for coffee and just chat? I mean he was a big part of my life for so long and my best friend. Not about the past or anything I dont need any answers about anything Ive come to terms with it all but I still genuinely care about him as a person. I dont want to be friends cause I know that would give him the wrong impression. Is it unrealistic to catch up with an ex? I've been having this thought of catching up just for the hell of it for like ever. Should I just forget about it? I know he would say yes but im not sure if it would do more harm than good... I dont love him anymore but I still care and I know he does too maybe more than me. Is it dumb to ask to meet up for coffee after so long or no? (link)
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firstly "Is it unrealistic to catch up with an ex?" that depends on the ex and the situation. some ex you can be friends with after and others you can not.
The ex in question is a big hell no. you can not get coffee with him and you should not even send happy bday via facebook.
I understand the desire to know what an ex is up to. I care about my exes as well. I keep and ear to the ground just out of curiosity. my advice is to talk to mutual friends and find out thru them. Just make sure they are not the sort of friends that are going to tell him you were asking. that would send him the wrong signals.
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I've been taking accutane for a month. I just noticed that I have hair growing on my cheeks. I really don't want to stop taking accutane. I take 20 mg once a day. Is accutane causing this? (link)
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I googled it. I did not see anything about accutane causing hair growth. I does not hurt to ask a doctor.
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Hi there. I'm looking for more opinions, and advice on a current situation i'm experiencing. I've been with my partner for 5 years now, and his parents have had a hard time accepting me, or us together. Every time I am around them they pick fights with me, or there is always confrontation. I'm not someone who likes fighting or arguing, in fact I avoid it at all costs. In the past I haven't been able to make it to every event they invite me to, and recently they took it personally (I had to work three shifts in one day and couldn't make it to thanks giving.) They decided to not invite me to family Christmas, so I had to stay home while my significant other went. Now some time has passed and they've invited me to his mother's birthday. I'm torn about going because every time they pick me apart, or do it behind my back (my partner tells me all the awful things they say.) I've tried making time to talk to them about it, but every time they avoid actually discussing the issue, and just ignore it. I can't ignore it anymore, and I don't want to go to this event without having discussed the issue. I'm tired of being put down and verbally abused, and I hate pretending like everything's fine and putting on a fake face. The only problem is I don't want to hurt my partner by saying no, which is why I've gone in the past and put up with the abuse. I don't want to tolerate it any longer. What should i do? I am so confused. (link)
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I am curious how your partner feels about this.
In-laws are often a hassle and it is awkward to try and fit in in a new family. If it is as unbearable as you make it sound and your partner agrees that the in-laws are behaving unreasonable then fuck them. Just don't go.
Try and go to an event with your partners family about once every year or two, just to check in a see if they have changed but other then that boycott them.
And if your family is civil than there is no reason your part can still come two half of your families events.
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Hey,
I accidentally touched his thigh twice while we're in the car coz he was giving me a lift to town. I said sorry. we're kidding heaps but he pointed out saying, oh,you touched my thigh, you got a soft hand and soft pinky. He's a neighbour and a friend. We go to same university and we are quite frank to each other. He's just crazy, I reckon, jokes a lot. I feel like he's flirting with me or is he messing around? What do you reckon guys? Thanks a bunch! (link)
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Yes, he is most likely flirting.
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I've like the guy I like for a year. At first, I wouldn't let myself get a crush on him because he's popular and i already know other girls who like him. We were paired with eachother in science and we started talking. We had deep conversastions and he told me some things that he hadn't told anyone else before. Then, we had a different seating arrangement and I would catch him staring at me. I then decided it's okay to have a crush on him. A couple months before now, he would still stare at me but he was dating another girl. I was confused because if he was dating someone wouldn't he like her more than me? They broke up like two weeks later tho. Now, I've noticed him staring at me longer. Before it used to be glances but now it's like 5 seconds or more. I really want to tell him I like him but I don't know how. I was thinking of putting a note in his locker but his friends would probably find out and I'm not saying they will but they could make fun of me (his friends are idiots) Someone help plz (link)
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In this situation it is important to strike while the iron is hot. Do not waste any time.
He is being to nervous to make the first move, so you need to.
pick and activity that would would like to do with him. make sure it is one you would like to do with your friends even if he says no. A movie, bowling, eat at a new restaurant, ice skating, going to the beach, playing freeze tag, whatever.
pretend you are brave, move quick to intercept him after class and tell him you where interests in [insert activity here] and would he want to join you?
after he says yes exchange numbers and choose and time/day. afterwards be happy and bouncy.
do it all fast like removing and band-aid you will feel much better when it is over.
If his idiot friend find out let them. YOU are in charge.
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so basically... i think i fell out of love with the guy (lets call him A) ive been dating for awhile. i don't rlly say i love you, and since we are in school together, i try to avoid him because i dont want to go public.
so a few days back, he told me that he thinks i dont like him anymore, bc i rarely say ily and i dont want to be near him at skl, and he said "correct me if im wrong" that made me think, do i really like him? and since then ive ignored him, it has been like 3 days, but during these 3 days, he still messaged me and said he loves me and such, but i still didnt reply. i didnt reply because i dont know what to do, i think that i dont like him anymore, but im not entirely sure, i dont want make a huge mistake. but i think that i want to break up, because i know that i think i dont like him anymore?? i stil want to stay friends cuz overall, hes like a really good guy, sweet and stuff. i know that if i say that i wanted to breakup, he would ask for a reason which i dont have one. the feelings are just gone. i just dont want to date him, i want to be friends.
i know that i might seem to be a player, but i am truly not, i mean hes my first love so why would i? i just dont know how to say that i want to be just friends, because i know that its either all or nothing (link)
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it sounds like your heart has already made up its mind. Now your brain is just catching up.
You have got to break up with him.
And you can NOT be friends with him, that would be cruel. He has already fallen in love with you and no matter what he may say he will not be OK with just being friends.
Emotions suck but that is how it is.
Do the right thing and let him go.
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okay so after this school year, which ends in july, i will have to study abroad, which means i have to leave all my friends.
I actually wanted to study abroad, its my decision, but now that a school really accepted me, i realised that, im not as brave as i thought i am.
I have a few close friends, A,B and C. A,B and i are like besties and C is just like a close friend that always hang with us. although friend A is not in the same class as B,C and i, we consider each other as like the closest among us all. and now that im going to leave this school after this semester, they are asking friend A to change to our class if its possible. and now i feel like, A is going to replace me, which i dont want to. im struggling to believe that they will still keep in touch with me when i move overseas, and since im not an extrovert, i know that it is going to be hard for me to build friendships with new friends in a new environment. im questioning it now because now friend A, the one that i said we think we are the closest, seems to drift apart already. like we still hang in school like before, but her replies are just... i dont know, as if she doesnt want to talk to me sometimes. i hope that friend A wont replace me, i still want to be friends with them, even if they dont like me anymore...
i dont have much friends (link)
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First off, relax. As I read you post and feel the fear coming out of my monitor.
Going over seas is a great idea you should totally do it. being exposed to a new culture is of great value and will make you a better person.
There is not a fixed number for how many friends a person can have. Your friends and be friends with you and still be friends with A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, and P.Friends are not a limited resource.
It is a big change in your life. I get that but don't let paranoia and fear stop you from expanding your world.
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long story short my boyfriend chats with a lot of girls
it might not seem like a big deal, so let me break it down in the easiest way possible. when we had a break, he chatted with one of my friends that he knew i disliked, after we got back together, he chats with one of my close friends, and once while we were on a date, we swapped phones and i was on his messenger and i saw that 9/10 person that he chats with are girls. im not talking about like a short conversation but its like they chat 24/7.
i understand that he has his own friends and i shouldn't be so jealous, but i couldnt help it, i mean i just dont feel special ...and he asks me to stop chatting with one of my best friends bc is a boy which i did stop for his sake... (link)
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Something like this can drive a person paranoid, try not to let paranoia drive your actions
If he asked you not to chat with a guy friend then you are well within you rights to ask the same of him.
If he refuses to stop chating then you are free to chat with whomever you like.
Try to be close friends with he girls he chats with. They can let you know if he is planing on cheating. and it nver hurts to have more friends.
If you can not resolve the issue and it starts driving you crazy just keep in mind you interacted with about 1.5 new guys everyday. So he is replaceable.
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So 25/female
I used to think living with a guy for a roommate would be so much less drama but I was wrong.
I live with my best friend, well the guy I thought was my best guy friend. And lately he is becoming extremely rude and insulting and I don't know what to do anymore because we have another 5 months of our lease and neither of us can afford to break it.
I don't know if this started around the time I rejected his advances romantically. Well actually it was more sexual advances than romance because he doesn't do romance. And he knows I don't do casual sex so I don't know why he even tried. He knows me better than that.
But anyway there is specifically this one thing that he's doing lately that drives me absolutely insane and I've tried ignoring it, I've tried responding, I've tried just being nice and I lose every single time. What he does is everytime there's people over or even when there aren't but not as often, anytime I say something or make any sort of move or even come out of my room hell loudly joke with me asking me why I'm so angry all the time. Or I say something and he'll respond in front of everyone "don't get mad" and then him and his friends all laugh. It drives me crazy because I'm not mad not even a little bit but if I say that he'll respond "it's ok you don't have to be mad" or they'll just laugh more. If I ignore it they'll take it as "see she's pissed now you got her mad" and laugh if I smile and say something nice they'll still take it as I'm mad. I don't have an out.
I tried speaking to him about it in private and his response is the typical "I'm just messing with you Ashley relax, don't be so sensitive"
And I even tried not to care. I'm learning about Buddhism, meditation, psychology, how to not let things get to you. But when every move you make they Call you the angry girl and laugh it really ruins my day no matter how happy I am that day.
It's so stupid and immature. So I guess my question is what can I do or say to get him to shut up. Like a really good comeback or action I can take to get him to leave me alone until I can move out. It's really stressing me out.
Thanks in advance.
- Not mad. (link)
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There are several option open to you.
1) be laid back, carefree and make a lot of jokes to undermine the belief that you are a angry person. this will take time to change public opion
2) defuse the joke by fainting ignorance.
roommate: "why are you angry?"
ashley: "what?"
roommate: "why are you angry?"
ashley: "am i?" looking down at your self to check yourself
roommate: "yes"
(as some point this will end a boring conversation if not make a joke)
ashely: "well, if i am angry, it probable because of this boring conversation"
3) If you want you can get mean about it.
roommate: "why are you angry?"
ashley "Sorry, I'm just tired of guys with small dicks hitting on me" (make sure to have a smile on your face)
there are a huge number of ways to gracefully deal with this problem but hopeful these ideas help :)
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