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What should I do? :(
There's this guy in my grade who I have been friends with for a few years. Me and him liked each other 4 years ago, but never dated. We became very close this year because him and his girlfriend broke up (she broke up with him).
He went thru depression because he "loves" her. Anyway, I was there for him to get over her and I basically went through hell. We had so many fights and we dented our friendship a lot.
They were broken up for about a month and few days. I started realizing I like him again and the day I realized that was the day his gf asked him for another chance.
Since then, our friendship has been extremely shaky. I got mad at him for getting back together
with her because that girl is a total b****. She hurt him bad, and he's stupid for agreeing to date her again.
Yesterday, she actually got mad at him because of my snapchat story. His gf knows I like him (he knows I like him, too), and she hates me for it. She thought my quotes that I posted on snap were meant for her (they weren't). She got all pissed and mad at HIM for not scolding me for my story (stupid, I know).
Everything's okay today, except for the fact that I posted a pic of him on my story and she texted him and said she didn't like it, which resulted in him telling me to not post pics of him on my story ever again. I blocked her.
I got really pissed off about all this... I don't know what he sees in her, but she obviously has jealousy issues. And she doesn't want me and him to be friends, and I know for a fact that in the future, she'll ask him to stop being friends with me.
Knowing this, I asked him, "If she were to tell you that you can only date her if you stopped being friends with me, would you stop being my friend?" He said he would choose her over me because he doesn't wanna lose her again.
I decided that I'm done being friends with him. He hurt me way too many times and why would I want to be friends with someone who chooses their girlfriend/boyfriend over their friends? What do you think? Do you think I'm exaggerating? Help. :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Sounds like he made things clear to you and you understand that if you continue to be his friend you will never be as important to him as his gf is.
Since you have feelings for him, it is best just to move on stop being his friends. It is not the easy choice but it is the right one.
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I am glad you asked that question dear. By his response, you can tell that you are not worth being his friend. I don't know his age, but no matter the age, he is very naive and inexperienced in relationships if he can not see that there are issues with this gf. She is need because she lacks self esteem and self confidence and that is what causes such jealousy. As for being jealous of you being his friend, I know that the majority of females in the world are going to feel jealous if a guy even has a female friend. Think of yourself in that position. Could you handle it? I am grandma age and still see jealous women at this age bracket, but not as much as the younger ages.
I don't know why she dumped him in the first place but that may be an indicator of whether she jumped to conclusions and acted too fast or perhaps wanted to date someone else and found they werent what she imagined them to be So she's come running back. Either he is right for her or not. She may just be settling for someone who isn't the best for her (not to mention she may not be good gf material in the first place) There are people who feel discombobulated if they don't have a dating partner cus they wrap up all their self esteem in the fact that someone is willing to date them, no matter how long or short it lasts. And these people can not be without a partner for long without going crazy. So if anything, you can feel sorry for her that she is so immature and messed up. Is there anything you can learn from this situation? Heck yeah, there's lots that I don't have time to write about but one thing is important to say now, look at your actions and think if anything you said or did might have sparked his anger? Think of how you like to be treated. It always helps to put yourself in the other persons shoes, to imagine what it must feel like to be them in a particular situation. If girls can imagine a whole relationship with a guy theyve never talked to but crushed on, then doing this should be much easier. So lets say, someone attacked you for going back to an old boyfriend, got angry at you. How would you react, how would you feel. This might help you figure out why you and this male friend had so many fights over his getting back with the girl. So if you've decided to no longer remain friends with him, thats probably a wise choice, even tho you hurt because this happened.
Heep this one thing in mind. People afraid of being hurt will build walls around their heart in effort to not get hurt again. Yes, its invisible walls but it sure really exists and heres what happens, no one can hurt you, but because these walls in a persons mind keeps them holding others at arms length or further away, no one will be able to love them either. I have seen this happen over and over again in couples I know. In fact, one guy was a counselor and his wife had been very emotionally hurt and frightened by an alcoholic father growing up. No matter what he did, he always felt the relationship was one sided, like a part of the deep connection a couple should have after many years together is missing. SHe still had a wall around her heart to protect herself from hurt from a male. THey were older with grown kids and still, no matter what he did, she never believed he really loved her. SHe told me these things. I finally had a chance to share that he does love her but she can't feel it due to the wall around her heart. I know you've been hurt here but don't let that scare you into walling yourself off. When we keep access to our hearts open, yes we open ourselves to being hurt, but its also the only way that we can experience and enjoy someone really loving us. So keep that in mind dear. Good luck.
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