MissBonne's advice column

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Q: my dad just relized my birthday was 2 days ago its only me and my dad i ve been talkin about it for a long time and he forgot for 2 days he said he was sorry he relized it when i was crying sayin you didnt remember my bday all my friends called and sang and talked and everything but my DAD didnt i cant get over it he forgot last year too ITS EVEN ON THE CALANDER im cryin i just cant get over it

You Dad is a guy and they always forget. Plus, he's human - and we all make mistakes.

Forgive, forget and don't expect him to remember next year. Usually, I cal my Dad on my birthday and give him a heads up.

Q: what would you wear to a work interview for a hometown bbq restaurant? i guess would jeans be ok [considering the employees wear them]?

Always dress a step-up from the job uniform for an interview. So, don't wear a business suit, but aim for nice pants and a nice top.

Q: ok so my problem is that i dont know where to find a boyfriend. its not that i want one that bad its just that i hate all the guys at my school. the facts are im 15, ive had 2 boyfriends so far, and id like hooked up with a guy once when i was in europe. Now that i started highschool, i guess i had expected the guys to be cuter, and a bit more mature. well my question is where could i find cute guys to go out with, other than at school or the boring movies or the internet!? guys that arent sleezy and are boyfirend material.

Most bf your age are sleazy and just want to hook up.

Try finding a hobby or volunteer (bf who volunteer are quite nice)

http://www.meetup.com is a good place to start

Q: ok so im going out with this guy and if we are not hanging out he always wants to be on the phone i mean i love hanging out with him 24/7 and i LOVE talking to him on the phone but i am a human and people like there space so sometimes when i need time to my self i ask him if i can get off the phone and hes like .." why ,are you just trying to get rid of me " or he says stupid crap like.." ok whatever bye"
and it makes me so angry because i really like talking to him but it makes me mad that he wont even let me take a shower because he thinks that i am not really trying to take a shower, im trying to get off the phone with him ... how do get off the phone and not start a fight?

Wow, he's starting to sound clingy and untrustworthy.

Don't give him an option to respond. Just say "It was nice talking to you, have a great day!" and hang up.

And tell him the truth "Yes, I am trying to get rid of you. I don't want the phone glued to my ear."

Q: hi
i want a new backpack and i wanted a yellow L.L. bean one but they don't make any yellow backpacks. yellow is my favorite color by the way. so does anyone know of any cute yellow backpacks that are nice for a 15 year old female in high school??
thanxx

The Find is the best website ever for finding little things like this:

http://www.thefind.com/main/query.php?query=backpack&categoryOrder=1.13.24.2.3.12.4.6.10.17.14.16.5.15.22.21.11.18.8.23.7.9.20.19&filter%5Bbrand%5D=&filter%5Bstore%5D=&subcategoryOrder=635.1.7.179.524.260.309.487.612.217.168.52.372.349.396.337.317&filter%5Bcolor%5D=ffda7d

Q: I"m seriously doubting anyone can help me with my problems but here goes anyway. I have a daughter that just turned 18. She is so lost, she has given me problems since she was 11, well now shes 18 and her life consists of black men,crack and sleeping with as many as she can. She was recently disgnosed with a veneral disease and confessed to her oldest sister that she may of slept with a man who was HIV. She is a leading influence on her 13 yr. old sister who is following in her path as hard as she can. I"ve had to get the law to look the 13 yr. old twice this week. She is failing school and I can't reach her. She and her sister are so full of hate towards me, I;ve been called so many foul names, I can't take much more. I'm thinking of sending the 13 yr.old to boot camp. I tried to send my 18 yr. old last year, but they called me to come and get her because she was threating staff. I am a decent person, I dont drink, smoke, I work hard, I feel like its my fault, they are this way. I so depressed, I think it would be better to be dead sometimes, if I didnt have to keep watch on my 82 yr. old father, I saw a therapist once ,but they cost to much. what do I do?

The state also has a lot of resources at http://www.firstgov.gov

Next call a family meeting - and write up a lit of rules

No sleeping around
No men over the house
No yelling, screaming or swearing
Pick up after yourself
etc

Have everyone sign it and date it. Also, list the punishments - grounding, taking way privleges, removing the door or finally leave your house.

Q: when you are grinding with a guy, where do you put your hands? or what do you do with them?

This question has been asked before, multiple times. You can use the search function to find the answers and more information.

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?t=2&keyword=grind&backlog=2

Q: when you're grinding with someone, where do you put your hands? or what do you do with them? and when grinding do you just like go back and forth or like move around more or what? thanks!

This question has been covered multiple times before, we have a great search for you to look for the answers

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?t=2&keyword=grind&backlog=2

Q: I have a lot of time on my hands and am looking for some good books to read. I am not sure what to read though. I like books about teenagers going through tough times, kind of books that a teenage girl can relate to. I liked Crank and Speak. So anything kind of like either of those two books would be great. Thank you.

I love, love librarything!

http://www.librarything.com/suggester/189755

Q: ok i want to get my ear lobbs pierced but my parents wont let me any advice on how to make my parents let me. plz help:)

Ask them why, in a calm and clear manner - also explain why you want them pierces. Do you have a valid reason other that I want to, everyone else is, it looks good?

Next, offer to pay for it and have it done at the doctors offer to avoid mistreatment.

Q: I want to get DDR for PlayStation2 but my parents think it's stupid. I've got enough money to get all the equipement and everything but they won't let me. Is there any way I can convince them it's more than just a 'stupid arcade game'? Thanks.

When parents hear video games, they always fear the worst. Instead, show them these articles stating that the DDR is actually good for you -

http://www.abqjournal.com/venue/videogame_news/apddr07-15-05.htm

http://www.americaninventorspot.com/video_games_that_help_you_lose_weight

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4653434.stm

Let them know also that you've been saving your money for this.

Q: I wanted to make a collage out of my pictures I have on my computer to set as my desktop background. BUT, how can I do that? Do I have to download a certain program? If so, which one? If not, can you explain to me in detail how to do it? Thank you!

Another way is to sign up at

http://www.flickr.com and upload your photos

then

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/ to make a collage.

Q: So i know a lot of people ask this same stupid question, but I'm kind of new on here and I dont know where to find already answered questions, but anyways on to the question::

Where can I get a FREE DOWNLOADABLE photoshopping program that allows me to create pictures where you can change the colors of certain parts of the picture, and make certain parts of the picture shimmery etc.
also a photoshop that allows me to make animations.

You may send me photoshops for only some of those things, but please specify which one that photoshop can do.

thanks :)

and please no "go look somewhere for it" I want answers.

http://www.gimp.com

Q: Hey is there a site where I can check out to keep me up to date on like what's currently going on like what's happening with Bush and Iraq. I don't watch T.V and I don't really know what's really going I don't even know what's hip but I don't care. I guess you can say I've been living under a rock it's just that stuff like this concerns me and I want to know some info.

I prefer http://news.google.com - you get US news, but also see how other countries are reporting the Iraq/Bush happenings. Our media is so clouded and wrong sometimes that you need to read other countries newspapers.

Q: myspace needs to die. it randomly deleted me and 9 other kids!! i dont get it, we didnt violate the rules or anything.

it has happened before and then a day later it let me sign back on. but its been a day and i still cant get on it. i checked my link and it says "this user has either deleted their account or it has been deleted" yeah well im really pissed i dont feel like making a new one.

did this happen to anyone else and what can i do about it?

You might be part of a phishing scam. Basically, if you click on a shady link - or if you reach a page that asks you to login (that shouldn't be there), you can delete your profile.

Be careful wear you click...

Q: So as usual I was rambling to one of my friends and he like out of no where decided to mention that day after the recital...After a violin recital, i was packing up my violin and this guy who was like 50 (his little son plays violin too) came up to me and started caressing my arm going "That was really really good. That was fantastic." blah blah and I'm standing thinking "WTF GET THE H*** OFF ME!" (it took place for like a minute of him touching my arm and ew) and then my other friend who just now heard of that incident was like "Oh remember that one time. We were at the gas station (her dad needed to put gas in the car)." and I was like oh yeah...and this story goes: She was like, "Don't look to your left." and of course, me with my curiosity look to my left and there are two guys checking me out with one of them being the other guys DAD. And I was like erm...can we go now when they like smiled and winked at me. And my OTHER friend was like "HA, older guys are attracted to you." and i was like hmm...that seems partially true considering this dude working at a store was smiling and looking at me the whole time.

has this happened to anyone before and the thought that older guys are attracted to you go across anyone's head...?

14/f btw and I do not enjoy having 40yr olds checkin me out.

Isn't that creepy? I have had that happen to me too.

When it just comes to looks, I can ignore that. However when it comes to touching me - I slap that hand away and tell them not to touch, talk, look, think or breath on me.

Ew.

Q: hey guys.. i have a problem. My really close friend since 2 years has been cutting herslef and i only found out in September this year. I ALWAYS tell her to stop because its not good for her but she wont! I ask her why and she would never give me a straight answer or she would just change the subject. I recalled her saying that one of the reason she does it is because shes muslim and ever since 9/11 some people have been very racsit about it, saying that ALL musilm people are like that. She never tells me when something is bugging her and i really care for her but im not sure how i can help her. No, im not going to an older person about it because i know she doesnt want anyone to know abotu it. Her legs are really scarred from it. Can anyone give me any ideas of how i can convince her to stop? (BTW she doesnt listen to anyone when they tell her)
Thanks alot for listening and any advice is greatly appreciated.
-Krazy

Some secrets need to be told. You can just tell anon, so she won't know - but this is dangerous, harmful and she needs more help than you have to offer.

Things you can do to help her stop? Everytime you see something or she talks about - let her know you don't think that is right and leave.

There are also several Muslim Support Groups that you can refer her to - since her reason is based off of that...

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=teenage+muslim+support+group

Q: I was in Brownies and Girl Scouts from Kindergarden through 7th grade. My Catholic school that supported my troop was both poor and sexist, so my troop ended up the same. More money and honor went to the Boy Scouts; they were able to camp in tents during the summer. They swam, pitched tents, climbed trees, ran races, and played sports. My troop, though, stayed in a one-room cabin in winter. There were dead mice and we didn’t have enough mattresses. We learned how to arrange flowers, make macrame, and clean. Whenever we went to other troops' cabins (which had linoleum rather than cement floors), we cleaned up after them because we were told that good Catholic Girl Scouts clean up after the more priviledged.

I’ll call my troop leaders Mrs. L and Mrs. D. Mrs. L had daughters in our troop and was a housewife. Mrs. D had a daughter too and was a police officer. They fought so much that Mrs. D left. We cleaned, sewed and did our nails. Mrs. L taught her daughters’ friends to help those who, for example, spilled things. When my friends and I spilled, however, she had us clean up alone while she yelled. We were scolded when we asked if we could do the Boy Scouts’ activities; good Catholic Girl Scouts shouldn't ask for things, especially to do what boys do. We were to be like Mrs. L: quiet and pretty.

I've heard similar stories. It wasn't until reading an article in "Bitch" magazine that I realized what a problem this is. Have you had or heard of any similar experiences? I emailed Girl Scouts about it and have been to several other online message boards to ask for other experiences, but I don't know what to do next.

I haven't had that experience - my SIL was a girl scout troop leader and its completely different.

Girl Scout is a wonderful organization - and I would suggest finding a new troop. Also, contact that you contact the Catholic school who is supporting the troop - this behavior is not acceptable.

http://www.girlscouts.org/councilfinder/

Q: My mother is an alcholic. She wont admit this, but she drinks 3-4 times a week and gets wasted. How can I confront her about this? My stepdad agrees with me but will not do anything to stop her. What can I do?

While I agree with the other posters - here is what I did.

First, I did let her know, and of course - she didn't agree.

Then, my stepdad and I locked up the cabinet where she kept the beer and drink. If she brough any home, I'd quickly pour it down the drain.

Eventually, she did get mad, angry and irrational - and it was a wake up call for her that she craved that drink.

Q: I was just wondering , what would be a good present to get a boyfriend for valentines day? Cause i never know what to get them. Hes soon to be 14 and i would really like some ideas. Thanks!