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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
Hi, recently an extremely attractive guy moved in next door to me. I didn't see much of him as he is relatively quiet. He speaks to my mum sometimes and they even lend books to each other, but I've never gone pass saying "Hi"
Thing is, I can't stop thinking about him. Like constantly. He's 27 and I'm 17 and I know with that age difference we could never be, at least not right now. I've even started looking through my windows snooping at his house hoping I can catch a glimpse of him. I'm starting to think I'm getting a bit stalkerish but I don't know how to stop myself. I don't even know this guy. Does this seem like a harmless crush, or is it getting too far? Should I get over him? If so, what's the best way to do it?
Thanks advicenators.
Well, to tell you the truth, it seems like a harmless crush. Then again, something that's harmless could escalade into something that's way serious. So, to stop yourself from taking this way too far, you should remember THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION. Reality is that you are 17 and he's 27. THAT SIMPLY JUST CAN'T HAPPEN. I know that some older men don't care but I think that your new neighbor would. And if he doesn't care, then you have your mother who'll definitely care. Think of the reality of things. Be very for real. Besides, I think that it's harmless but it can be controlled only be recognizing what truly is and isn't. Also, I don't know how to tell you to get over someone. That just comes with time. Because with time, we all grow as people and our opinions and perceptions change. Hope I was some help and see you later.
is it true that you have to be really tall to be a model?
i asked this quesiton to some people and they said yes.. but some said you just have to be really tall if you wanna be a runway model..
what about normal models in magazines and stuff cause i'm 5'2" but i really wanna be a model and i don't know if i could be one since i'm so short=[
thanx! i'll rate high for nice, realistic answers =]
Kate Moss really isn't that tall because she's like 5"7 , so if she can do it, I know that you can.Good luck girl.
There is this boy who has a girlfriend who always come to my house to play with my brother. He is so cute. when he comes over, he always flirt with me. I want to go out with him, but he has like 15 GF's. Besides, one of his girlfriends is my friend. I don't want to ruin our relationship. She knows that I used to like him. What should I do.
It depends on HOW MUCH YOU WANT HIM. If you want him, the question is if you're willing to get him. If you want him, YOU CAN'T BE NOBLE TRYING TO GET. WHICH MEANS, YOU CAN'T CARE ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND- YOUR FRIEND. But that's ONLY IF YOU REALLY WANT HIM. But if you can't force yourself to do it, THEN YOU DON'T WANT HIM AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOU DO. So don't worry about it if you're not going to go through it. IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH AND BAD YOU WANT HIM, AND WHAT YOU'RE WILLING TO DO TO GET HIM. If it's not that, then you don't want him as much as u think u do. Don't sweat it girl. Besides, I think I'm a little off today. Don't worry so much, you'll get wrinkles.
OK so my best guy friend, well all my girl friends say that he likes me, and they say I like him too, which is true. But im way too scared to tell him(for reasons .. i just cant) and i wish he would just tell me ! what should i dooo?
PS-im going with him to a semi formal dance this saturday.
TELL HIM AT THE DANCE. TELL 'EM AT THE DANCE. TELL 'EM AT THE DANCE. Be casual. Be like while yall dancin', " you know, I've liked you ever since _________, and I just felt like I needed to tell you this."
Also say after a pause and an innocent and shy look away that ," I just need and want to know if you may possibly feel the same way. I'll understand if you don't, it's just I want to know." BE CASUAL WITH IT.
Even if you don't understand it if he doesn't like you like that, act like it doesn't phase you much. Also say that, " I don't want what I feel to possibly affect our friendship." So he'll know that and possibly won't feel awkward around you in the future. However, honey, as long as you're involved in the game of love- you're going to have to learn how to deal with rejection. I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU ALL THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. IT'S APART OF THE BAGGAGE OF LOVE. IF HE REJECTS YOU, IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT MEANT TO BE. HE'S ONLY GIVING YOU MORE THE NEEDED TIME TO FIND "THE ONE." SO DON'T SWEAT IT. I'm not angry or anything and I'm not trying to stress you out. Just, don't worry so much. It'll cause you to get wrinkles.
Well, here's the thing. I'm only a freshman, soon to be a sophmore, but I am really concerned about my scholastic career. At the moment, I have a 4.0 GPA( My average of my classes is a 98), and I am taking an advanced math class. Anyway, I would really like to graduate valedictorian my senior year. I have stiff competition-at least two people who could also be valedictorian. Does anyone have any tips for becoming valedictorian? What classes should I take next year? I would appreciate any advice, or any websites that would help me out. Thanks!
If you want to become valedictorian, then first you must find out the classes that you need to take. Some classes, according to whatever state you live in, rank higher than some others on the ranking scales for classes. Such as Honors, AP, and any other challenging courses that are high in rankings at your school. For instance, English II CP (College Prep) may only rank a 4 on the ranking scales for classes. However, English II Honors may rank a 5. So, of course, that would put you way over the top. To find out the ranking and status's of your classes at your school, I advise you to go talk to your guidance couselor. He/she should easily be able to clarify this for you.
Also, take courses that really are college approved. Technology courses, business courses, economic courses, etc. Take classes such as those because they sometimes put you over the top for validictorian and for colleges/universities as well.
You know that you'll have to study a lot to maintain the 4.0 GPA status b/c without it, you really won't have a good chance at becoming validictorian. You can never fully relax. You're going to have to be up on a lot of your studies. But, if it's what you want, then you have no problem. So, don't worry at all about that.
I'm a guy and 16 years old. I was just wondering if going anywhere or doing anything is ok for a first date (my first ever). It'll be this friday. I was thinking about a movie and then some dinner. Would that be ok? I'm pretty comfortable around her, but I'm not too sure if this would be better for later dates as opposed to the first one. Any other ideas or suggestions, things to remember? Are there any guidelines or rules that I should follow as the guy? It is true - guys are much more nervous than girls when it comes to this. Thanks in advance; will rate
Well, choose a movie that is comfortable for the both of you. Also, don't take her to a fancy fancy restaurant because you want somewhere that you two can feel comfortable with the natural elements (such as chemistry and something that you aren't too used to-yet sort of used to, you get me), some of which you possess. Throughout your date, you really should just try to think and talk about the things that make you and her comfortable. The environment, the conversation should be comfortable. It's really important. Also, don't think so much about it because dwelling on it sometimes makes matters worse. Just do you and be you. Whatever happens, happens. And you must know that it happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is b/c it's just not meant to be and that's not so bad. However, be you and do you and you'll be fine. Don't worry so much. You'll get wrinkles.
Ok, so me and this guy were going out, and I mean everything seemed pretty good. We both loved each other, or at least I thought he loved me. But then we broke up, because he said that it felt weird, and that our love felt like we shouldnt be together now, but in the future. And he told me that he was raelly messed up in the head about this whole thing, as was I. So we broke up, and we hadnt talked for a few days, then I find out he already has a g/f and he's already had relationships with her before. So, I've been having a difficlut time letting go of him, because I really do love him, and I want him. But EVERYTHING, and I mean everything reminds me of him. And so its sorta difficult to let go, when everything reminds me of him. So what do you guys think I should do? Because right now, I am real confused about if I should let go, or just wait for him? And what are some good ways to let go of him? Like how am I supposed to do it, cus I've tried alot of ways, maybe I'm trying to let go to fast...Thanks for any help, I'll rate 5's for all answers.
13/f
You can either deal with this and tough it out and all. OR YOU CAN GO AND GET HIM. WHO CARES IF HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND? IF YOU WANT HIM, I SAY GO AND GET HIM. BUT NO ONE CAN MAKE THAT DECISION FOR YOU SINCE IT'S YOUR LIFE. WHATEVER YOU DO IS UP TO YOU. BASICALLY, THAT'S WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO. DEAL WITH IT, MOVE ON, OR TRY AND GET HIM BACK. THE OPTIONS ARE UP TO U. IN MY OPINION, I DON'T SEE NOTHIN' WRONG WITH TRYIN' TO GET HIM BACK. JUST DON'T GET TOO TAWDRY WITH IT,YOU KNOW.
i like this boy since last march. i don't know if i should come out to him. i really love this boy, it's so hard to explain. we flirt alot but he doesn't like me he's a BIG flirt.. i'm scared of responses and i don't know if i should tell him? what should do to forget about him ? should i tell him? how could i move on?
TELL HIM OR YOU'LL BE QUESTIONING YOURSELF THROUGHOUT YOUR TEEN YEARS ABOUT WHAT COULD'VE BEEN IF YOU'D WENT THROUGH WITH EVERYTHING.STOP BEING AFRAID OF REJECTION AND DO THE @#$%% DEED. IF YOU WANT TO PLAY THE GAME OF LOVE, GET USED TO THAT TUNE. AFTER ALL, IF YOU ARE REJECTED, HE'S DOING YOU A FAVOR B/C HE'S GIVING YOU TIME TO FIND THE ONE THAT YOU'RE MEANT TO BE WITH. I'm not trying to be mean. Just don't be afraid of love and all of it's baggage. HOPE I WAS SOME HELP AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY.
does anyone know any home remedies for scarred skin? i'm talking a few semi-dark pimple scars on my face...please help! thanks!
I don't know much about this but my grandmother always reccommends Cocoa Butter.
so, a random question bout sex. i was just wondering, since statistics show that the average teen loses their virginity by the age of 17. well.. is it possible to have sex (when the guy uses a condom) and NOT get pregnant? cuz like, other teens have done it and they havent got pregnant riight? but what im scared of is that my sister had an unplanned pregnancy and she already had a baby. she said she used a condom and i guessed it broke.
questions:
is it common for a condom to break?
can a girl get pregant if a guy uses a condom?
thanks in advance.
Yes, a girl can get pregnant if a guy uses a condom because condoms can break. That is why you use other precautions besides the condom, such as birth control pills/patch. That's helpful, although it doesn't really protect you from STD'S and AID'S. Also, it decreases the possibility of pregnancy if you were to become sexually active. If you're having sex, you're going to have to worry about these things. You're going to have to worry about condoms, birth control pills/patch, sexually transmitted diseases, and etc. You're going to worry about them. Especially as a teen. That's why when you decide to have sex, you make sure that you're responsible and have taken care of everything. Even go to an adult that YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENT and TRUST to help you to provide you with the protection you need. Their are clenics as well. I'm not saying that you're having sex or anything like that, but I'm saying that condoms aren't a 100% effective. Use things to increase your defense against pregnancy. And NEVER, NEVER, have sex with one condom on top of the other. That'll increase the chances of the condom to tear. NEVER. The only way to make sure that you won't get pregnant if you decide to have sex for a 100% is by maintaining abstinence. Abstinence is the key to not getting pregnant or sexually transmitted diseases. HOPE I WAS SOME HELP. GOOD DAY TO YOU.
well hey i havea bf but theres this girl she is his ex adn she was the one that dumped him i have known her ever since year 6 and she has always been mean and rude to me she i like a witch and she is always flirting with my bf adn im scared he might love her like seh walks with him dn she nkows im looking i've tried talking to her but seh just dosnt care she just gives me all these things that arent true and i dont know what top do plz plz help me :(:(:(
: love hilda
Girl, ignore the wench. I got some girls like that too that's after my man just to make me mad. But do I sweat it. NO. Because I have TRUST AND FAITH IN HIM. That's why I really don't care. When you let the wenches know you give a @#$# about what they're tryin' to do to your man , that only motivates them more to do such things. That's why you don't do it. Just make sure you trust your man. Also, make sure you contain the compatibility in the relationship. Otherwise, don't worry about it b/c you might just come off as the jealous type. And he won't like that too much. Just cater 2 your man, and don't worry about him. If it happens, it happens. Then you know it ain't meant to be, and later on u'll find that that ain't such a bad thing. So don't sweat it, because either outcome is to your advantage. You'll see. Trust me on this one.
Ok, so I like this guy. Alot. Like, he's all I think about, and my heart skips a beat every time I hear his name/voice and I kinda semi stalk him (wich I'm trying to not do, cuz I know it's wrong...and kinda creepy)
Anywho, I'm not sure if I should tell him I like him/ask him out because not telling him and pining away in silence is killing me, but being rejected would only kill me faster.
I think he's kinda hung up on/hurting from these other girls, but he might be over it, I dunno and so now I don't know if I should make a move or not...
If you want REALLY WANT HIM, REJECTION WILL NOT STOP YOU FROM ASKING HIM OUT. Trust me, when you're dealing with the game of love, you're going to have to deal with the ups and the downs that are apart of it. So, BIG DEAL. YOU WANT IT, DON'T YOU? SO GO FOR IT. Don't let your fear of rejection stop you. Trust me, you don't want to look back on certain opportunities that were thrown at your foot and question yourself. Questions like , "I wonder what would've, I should've, I would've done, would I have been happy." Don't fear rejection. THink of it as this, that persons only providing you with more time to find the person that you're truly meant to be with IF they reject you. It's not a bad thing. It's just one of those things that are apart of love, and life.
so i'm a little worried i might be pregnant. typical symptoms are morning sickness, eating a lot & getting cravings, peeing alot, missing periods, maybe sleeping a lot? breasts getting bigger & tender?.. i dont know.. but anyways, i have all of that. what exactly are the symptoms? and yes, i plan on getting a home pregnancy test, its just hard to find the oppurtunity to. but i was hoping that it could maybe be stress. not saying i dont want kids but just with my age, having a baby wouldnt be a good idea- expecially with whats been going on with the baby's (if there is one) daddy.
You can also feel tired and sluggish, light bleeding, dizziness and/or fainting, constipation, irritability, and heartburn. I did a search and those are all the symptoms I know of. Hope I was some help.
the past two times i have had sex i am bleeding, this is not my first time and i am really conserend and worried what does this mean?
It could mean a lot of things. The boy that you're having sex with may not be taking the time that is properly needed. You also may not be "wet" enough and that can cause things to be painful from what I've heard. And maybe this guy that you're with may not be doing the deed right. I don't know, it could be a lot of things. From what I've said above is what I've learned in classes and from girls who are a thousand times more sexually active.
well i like or liked (i totally dont know what to think anymore? ) this guy named peter! and well i think he liked me back and he always smiled at me but i'm kinda shy so i never smiled back. so once in my bus he sat next to me and talked to me but i was in a bad mood and very mean to him! well not THAT mean but kinda mean lol so then he never talked to me again but sometimes he still looked at me. so i felt bad and i called him on saturday i was like
me: hi my name is cornelia can i please talk to peter
peter: yeah i'm peter
me: oh well hi its me you know that mean girl? uhm yeah so i just wanted to appologize for being so mean!
peter:uhuh
silence..
me: so is everythink ok again?
peter: uhh yeah
silence
me: ok than
silence
peter: bye
me: bye
and well that was it and it totally went wrong!and when he said bye it sounded like he didnt even wanna talk! i thought he would say like ok i except it or whatever but he said nothing at all? does he hate me now? i am really upset! i think he's gonna tell everybody now that i called him and then there all gonna laugh at me! but i dont get it! he even told me he loved me once (i was kinda mean then 2) but i tried to be nice now! he act like he didnt care! i need advice i'm really upset!!!! i dont wanna see him anymore and today ( i know its stupid so dont laugh) i even skipped school because of that cause i was really scared people would make fun of me cause i called a guy ( cause normally i'm like the person who dosnt even know what the word "love" means and i dont have any friends yet cause we just moved here so i'm alone than) im scared to go to school now and thats really weird! please help! oh and please dont delete this cause i really need advice and i dont wanna write the whole question over again.
Don't worry about the phone conversation at all. You thought you were doing the right thing. Therefore you have nothing to feel bad about. It's nothing to feel ashamed of. That's why when you do things like that, you make sure that IT'S REALLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO so you HAVE NO REGRETS. AT ALL. You did nothing wrong and if he seemed like a jerk over the phone, maybe there could've been a lot of things that were happening. Maybe he had a bad day, maybe he really didn't know who you were since you did refer to yourself as the mean girl but you did say your name. It could've been a lot of things. But while you're out of school, try and get comfortable with the fact that you called to appologize to this guy. IT'S REALLY NO BIG DEAL. IT WAS JUST AN APPOLOGY. Think of it as that. If people say,"ooh, she called him." Say, " it was just an appology over the phone. What's the big deal about that?"
Act like it don't phase you. If you don't sweat, then no one else will. But the first time they try you, and you act scary, then they are going to keep trying and trying you. Act like it don't phase you. And better, ENJOY HIS REACTION when you act like it don't phase you. But DON'T LOOK AT HIM ANYMORE. Just observe enough to get some insight about his reaction. Easy does it. Hope I was a little help. Good luck, girl.
I just want some opinions on this:
Do you think it's wrong to let your boyfriend go to a strip club?
I personally think it is wrong, but then I see some girlfriends even go with their boyfriends to stripclubs!! I just don't get it. How could you let your boyfriend get turned on by another woman? ..or let alone get a sexy lap dance by another woman? I personally think that can even lead to the thought of cheating.
What do you guys think? I am 18 and my boyfriend is 17 and he will be 18 next month. I don't know whether to never let him go to a strip club(since that is a common thing for men to try out at least once in their lives) or to let him try it out. I am really uncomfortable with that idea.
You asked, " do YOU think it's wrong to let your boyfriend go to a strip club?" My answer to you is that it ISN'T wrong to let him go. If you TRUST your man, then you have nothing to worry about. Even if there are a bunch of half naked women dancing on his lap or on the pole. You have to HAVE THAT TRUST otherwise your relationship won't survive. And it's best to let your boyfriend know that you do trust him. By making a big deal of your boyfriend going to a strip club, you're only creating more conflict in your relationship. Just inform him of your opinion and worries calmly and let him assure you that he won't do anything tawdry. Don't worry about if he does because if he does, then that will sort itself out. Then you'll obviously know that it wasn't meant to be, unless you want to work through that issue. But really, this is a test. To see if you TRUST HIM AND HIS ACTIONS. Are you daring enough to go through with it? Don't be. It'll let you know about him and the status of your relationship. So let him go. Remember, if you let him go, let him know that you trust him. Calmly, not in an accusatory tone, state your worries. Just let him know that you trust him. THAT'S MY OPINION ON THE THING.
my girlfriend thinks that im too innocent, how could i change? I hardly know any sexual slang,ect.
Yeah, my boyfriend think the same way about me too, but I am a girl so... Anyway, you shouldn't try to change. Changing just something this big about you is very very bad. Once you change for the smaller things, then the big things will overwhelm you with change and you will change the person who you already are. And from what it sounds like, you already are your own person and that kind of identity takes people years to find. It's hard to break the habit of changing, or any matter, when you begin to do so. So don't change. You don't want your girlfriend to like you for something that you are trying to be. You should want her to like you for WHO AND WHAT you are. Not for something that YOU'RE TRYING TO BE. If she doesn't like or understand that, then you'll obviously have to face the fact that it wasn't meant to be.
okay. i must make a desicion. First I will describe the boys and why i llike them
Boy A: I dated him for a year, we were in love and i know it. He left me and i met boy B but anyway. A is the sweetest and i can tell he cares about me, and he really wants me back but im afraid to get hurt, but its weird that when im with him everything feels perfect. But hes very strict and i dk if he would let me hang out with Boy B anymore, he thinks i might cheat on him, but boy B and I havent kissed since the transition of dec 31-jan 1st.
Boy B: My best friend. I met him and had a like mini relationship with him when A and i broke up. He told me if i go back out with A he will never talk to me again bc he doesnt like the way A treats me(idk whats wrong about it). I really really like B but he doesnt like me more than in a suster brother way(gross, i know). At least i think, i dont know ive been getting mixed signs from him. But if he does like me then i want to go out with him because i need to find somthing new ya know??? And if i go out with B, A would be mad but he would get over it.
So my problem is that i dont know what to do.
do i go out with A, and lose B as a friend.
do i go out with B and have A really mad at me?
pretty much i want B. but he isnt right for me, i know it. he treats girls like crap, and i am always there for him when they break up. BUT I LIKE HIM SO MUCH!!!! He always sticks up for me when A and i fight and hes always here for me. and ugh i just dk what to do.
What do you guys think???
Alright, first comes first. You need to ask Boy B if he has any feelings for you in "that" kind of way. Ask him is his feelings are only mutual or if his feelings you know are deeper for you. Just find that out before you do anything. If he doesn't feels for you in the way that a guy feels for a woman that they wish to be with, then you should ask him why he'd have a problem with you going out with B. Reason it out with him and tell him that you know: he may be the right one for you. And what does it matter to him if he doesn't like who you go out with. If he doesn't like who you go out with, try to get him to respect your relationship but don't force him to. Don't force your relationships on him when you go out with others, don't mention it, and if he doesn't want to accept it- IT's his problem, he has to deal with it.
Problem A : If he's strict, then you might want to talk to him about that before you hook up with him or the other. You might want to ask him this question before you ask any others. Also, think of some of the other things that you go through with him that you have problems with. Talk to him about it. Discuss them, and see if you like what he says and the way he says it. If you think going out will be a waste of time with him, don't do it. Time is a precious virtue, so do not waste it. DON'T WASTE IT. Talk to him about your issues.
do you guys think lockin arms with a guy would be considered as cheating on your boyfriend. when the guy you are locking arms with is only a friend?
saqswatch_ alright thought that I and my friend would have a little fun. OK, fun over. Now, to your problem. You might want to talk about what you and your guy friends do as friends. Just talk and agree upon what you both think is acceptable, because when you talk about things like this, he already knows what to expect if someone tells him something. For instance, what if someone tells him that they saw you walking down the hall with a guy with your arms locked together.It would be a big deal to him because he wouldn't know a thing about what you do with your guy friends. Like hugging, kiss on the cheek, or arms locked together. Get those things out in the open and tell him before it becomes too big of a deal.
if you met a guy somewhere but he ask you for your cell phone number,do You give the number to him or what?
If you think that he is a good guy, and of course, if he gave YOU a first good impression, then what the hell. GIVE HIM THE NUMBER. Take a RISK and never be afraid to do so. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST. After all, it wouldn't harm you to give him your #. See you girl.