I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female Location: Texas Age: 34 Member Since: December 17, 2006 Answers: 795 Last Update: September 2, 2007 Visitors: 49979
Main Categories: Health General Sex Questions Parenting View All
Favorite Columnists Xenolan
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I have naturally dirty blonde hair and the other day i went to a salon and wanted to dye it the color of like (LC on laguna beach or Jessica Simpson) that color and it ended up comming out orangey-blonde looking instead of light-blonde and i HATE it. Does anyone know how i can get it back to my normal color? (link)
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My advice, dear, is to go back to the salon with your receipt. Take in pictures of what you asked for and let the stylist know that you are not happy and would like to have your hair fixed. Every salon I've ever been to will fix your hair for free. I've had it done before. I wouldn't try any self-coloring products as you could damage your hair. I would take into the salon enough money to tip the stylist appropriately unless you feel s/he did not listen to you the first time. If you get nowhere with the stylist, ask to speak with a manager. Salons do not want you walking around with hair you hate, telling your friends not to go there.
You hold all of the cards!
Good luck,
Sabine
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I just got my second period. it was 4 months apart from my first, is this normal? I know at first its not regular, but 4 months! Also it was brown with red ontop, is it normal for two different colors? And it was very heavy flow. Is it normal for the first few periods to be heavy...thanks in advance! (link)
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The answer to your question is that periods are not regular at first. How do you know that the flow was heavy? What I mean by that is what do you have to compare it to or how do you know what's 'normal?' I'm not surprised that it was heavier than your first period. Heavy flow is when you are bleeding enough that you have to change your maxi pad or tampon more frequently than once every two hours because they are soaked and would leak on your panties otherwise.
The two colors are because the lining of the uterus is old blood and other things. You will get some brown first, then some red as there is fresh bleeding from the lining of the uterus. You may get more brown later, as the blood gets older and turns brown. Sometimes it takes a while for the blood to be expelled and that means it has an opportunity to turn brown.
Don't worry, but if you really think something's wrong, speak with your Mom, sister, aunt, or trusted friend. I remember being so worried about my period. I was almost 14 years old when I started, but I *did* start eventually and no amount of worrying changed what was going to be.
I hope I have helped.
Sabine
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people are always talking about how someone got fingered by their boyfriend or they gave their boyfriend a hand job. what are these thing? what do they do when doing them? and what do they feel like.. do they hurt the person? and can anything bad happen from them? (link)
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'Fingering' a woman is when her partner inserts one or more fingers into her vagina. S/he can also use the fingers to manually stimulate the woman's clitoris. Usually the person doing the fingering will use an in-out motion, simulating the pumping of intercourse. Often, more than one finger is inserted in order to simulate the thickness of a penis.
A hand job is where the partner manually stimulates a man's penis. S/he will rub the penis and pump up and down.
What does it feel like? I guess it feels kind of like intercourse to the person receiving the stimulation. If you don't know what intercourse feels like (and I bet you don't, since you're asking this question) there is no way to describe it. You will likely find out soon enough. For the person fingering the vagina, it probably feels warm and moist and s/he might be able to feel the woman's cervix. For the person giving the man a hand job, it feels like rubbing skin. For the man, I guess it might feel a little like intercourse, but not entirely. The only way I can imagine it would hurt is if either the woman is a virgin, in which case it might hurt when her hymen breaks, or if she is not lubricated enough or she's stretched too far. I can't imagine that it would hurt a man under normal circumstances. The worst thing that can happen from hand jobs, I think, is irritation to the penile shaft. The worst thing that can happen from fingering is that unclean fingers can introduce bacteria into the delicate vaginal walls and the woman could possibly get an infection. That would be rare.
Hope it helps.
Sabine
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Okay, so I havent been on vacation in awhile and last night at a family christmas party, my Uncle told everyone he's inviting all of us to go to MEXICO for his 50th birthday :] I got really excited, but we'd be going March 12-18 which is during school. My spring break isnt until the end of April so my Mom said no. But I really, reallly want to go! How do I convince her we should go? She seems set in her decision. (link)
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The other advice you got was wonderful, but also I think you should consider whether there is another reason your mother would not want you to go to Mexico with your uncle during the school year. Are your grades in the toilet? Could she possibly think that you haven't been mature or responsible enough? Is there something about that uncle possibly that she could think may lead to an unhealthy situation? Would he, perhaps, allow you to do things she would not (like drinking)? If you suspect there is something other than missing school which keeps your Mom from agreeing to the trip, ask Mom about it and address the real problem.
I really like the other advice you received as well!
Sabine
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I noticed today that my cervix is a very funny shape. Let's just say the head is tear drop shaped and the triangle part of the tear shape molds to my G-spot. It's odd... I was wondering if this is something abnormal about this, or if I should go get it checked out. Thanks for all your help in advance!!! (link)
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I don't know about the misidentifying parts advice you got. You sound pretty literate and, dare I say, in touch with your body. ;)
There are glands on your cervix which can clog and a lot of people can get things called Nabothian cysts. Those are benign. There are other possibilities, however. I agree that it's important for you to see a doctor who can reassure you about your cervix. You wouldn't want to ignore a funny shape and later find out there was a cyst or something that needed to be treated. So see your doc.
For what it's worth, mine has had a person go through it and it's now like a smiling mouth. Variation is normal.
Sabine
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Advice Needed!
A: I’ve been together with my girl friend from three months now and we met first time for a week and second time for ten days. Sex in the first meeting was great between us however the second time we met and slept for a while in the last days of the tenth day meeting I get to finish before her and I can’t make her satisfied because I’m done and can’t continue. if I even start again to have sex with her it doesn’t work.
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Even if your penis can't continue, you can continue to make love to her. Use your tongue, hands, or a vibrator to bring her to climax. Ask her what she prefers. There are devices (cock rings) and creams which are supposed to prolong endurance. I'm not sure whether there's any scientific evidence either way. Sometimes having an orgasm shortly before another sexual attempt will prolong the time to orgasm for a man. So you may wish to masturbate to orgasm a few hours before you attempt sex with her in order to maintain your errection longer. I think it's great that you're concerned about her pleasure as well.
Good luck.
Sabine
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I'm a 19 year-old female who's dating a 26 year-old male. We have a lot of problems because of our age difference, but there's one major problem that I don't quite understand.
My boyfriend is constantly trying to have sex with me. Mind you, since our fifth month into dating, we've been boinking. However, over the past year or so, he's persistant in his efforts to have sex with me, even when I don't want to. I'll tell him I don't feel like it and he just keeps bugging me, saying things like "You don't need this shirt" and then trying to pull my shirt off over my head while we're watching a movie. Or, more often, complaining that "sex fixes everything" because it makes him feel better. When I explain that it makes me feel terrible to have sex when I don't want to, he insists that it won't.
So, we never have any time to talk about things or even go out because we're stuck at home fighting about sex. I don't even like to kiss him anymore because he takes it as a sign that I want to "do it". Most of the time I just give in because I'm tired of fighting and then feel cheap and bad the rest of the time I'm with him.
I've tried to talk to him about it and I've tried to explain it to him, but he just doesn't seem to care.
What should I do? (link)
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Okay. Well, first, it's creepy that he was having sex with you when you were 15 and he was 22. Aside from that, it seems to me that you have surpassed him emotionally and outgrown the relationship. He is sex-obsessed and the relationship is based upon sex now. He does not listen to you or value you enough as a person to try to feed your interests, ambitions, and goals. He doesn't even take you out and have a good time as two people in a relationship. That means he is not a partner in your relationship. He's just there for the booty.
It seems pretty obvious to me that he is oblivious to your feelings and he's satisfied with getting only sexual gratification. Since you're not, I'd say it's time to cut your losses and move on. You need, want, and deserve a real relationship based upon things other than physical urges. You should have a partner in life, not just in sex. Don't settle just because it worked four years ago.
Sabine
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I am only 6wks preg. with my 2nd child, with my 1st I was so sick, adn didn't show until 6months or so. with this one, I am already pudging in my tummy, and you can tell. Is this because I am so little, to is it normal? Its so weird I figured it would be like my 1st pregnancy. PLEASE HELP ME (link)
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I know that you asked this question long ago. I just now saw it. I hope that you and your baby are healthy and well. I'm sure you're even bigger now! The physicians I've worked for have always told me that women get big more quickly with their second and subsequent children because the muscles in the abdominal wall have already been stretched once and they're more lax the second time. It's not an indication of how big the baby is going to be (though s/he may be bigger than the last, statistically) and it doesn't mean you're going to be bigger in the end.
I hope your mind is more at ease by now.
Sabine
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Hi,
I have a question about antiobiotics. After the last day that you take them, how long does it take for the effect to wear off?
Thank you! (link)
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Hi. The answer to your question varries by the particular antibiotic involved and, to some extent, your body. Azythromycin (Zythromax), for example, can last in your system at therapeutic levels for 5 days after the last dose. Others can last only hours after the last dose. The best person to ask is the pharmacist who dispensed the drug. S/He can tell you how long the drug lasts in a person of average metabolism.
Sabine
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I just started taking birth control this month..
I got my period on last monday (18th) and that was the first day i took my first pill. My period usually ends in like 6-7 days..but its been around 10 days and i have light spotting and light bleeding. Is this from the birth control? Is it normal? Will it end soon? If you have any more advice on birth control I'd love to hear it.. (link)
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The Tricyclen Lo is a low-estrogen form of a three-phase pill. The hormones ratios could be wrong for your body. The best way to find out what to do is to call your prescribing doctor. S/He will know whether this is a common occurrence and whether your pill needs to be changed or adjusted. BTW, did the insert which comes with the pill mention anything about spotting?
Good luck,
Sabine
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how can i find my girls G-spot, what's like a usal place to find it. (link)
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The G-spot is nowhere near the clitoris, as a previous advice-giver said. It's on the front wall of the vagina, about 1 1/2 inches up. That means if your girl is lying on her back and you inserted a finger into her vagina and pushed up toward the ceiling, you'd find it within the length of your finger, most likely.
Hope it helps.
Sabine
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Okay what does the word Volem Te mean?? and what language is it?? (link)
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A quick search on Google shows Volim Te, which is 'I love you' in several Eastern Block languages, including Croatian and Bosnian.
Sabine
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what are some signs of depression? (link)
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Tina_DUH answered very well, but one thing I wanted to add is that you should make sure that, if you are able, you are getting plenty of rest, nutrition, and especially exercise. If you're not exercising now, it's a good thing to bring up with a doctor. But most people can get out at least for a walk a couple of times a day. That could significantly impact your mood. Also, chocolate has been shown to help in the short run.
I hope you / whomever feel(s) better.
Sabine
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Ok well i kinda dont no what to do cause as a guy i look at porn but i do not just look at any kind.. i like to look at girls in bondage...i want to do it and be in change but then again i want someone to do anything to me and make me do anything but i dont know what to do cause i think its kinda weird and i dont no how to approch someone to find out what they think? any oppinions! thanks 19/m (link)
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There are bondage themed chat rooms where people interested in this can chat, meet, and swap pics. Just, for heaven's sakes, be careful not to speak with the under-aged and don't let anyone you don't know tie you up! As others have said, when you approach someone about *anything* sexual, you first establish a relationship with that person. After you've known her for a while, you can sometimes tell if she's kinky. If you can only have sex with bondage, however, and can't get turned on by 'vanilla sex,' that should probably be something you talk about early on in the relationship so you don't waste anyone's time or get any hearts broken. Date women who seem liberal and open to new ideas, and decide how important your kink is to you before you decide how much to 'fly your freak flag.'
Please don't think I'm using the words 'kink' and 'freak' in a derogatory fashion. They are words claimed by fetishists themselves.
Sabine
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I'm going bra shopping tomorrow cause none of my bras fit me right. My left boob is a small C/very full B, but my right is a smallish B. I try to get a C bra to fit my larger breast, but you can see that very large gap between my shirt and the bra on my smaller side. (I can't fill it because I dress out infront of girls everyday for PE, I don't want anything to get started)
What should I do? (link)
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I think that nathan had a good thought. To expand upon it, it's very common to have different-sized breasts. You can buy a bra with removable pads, which are inserted in a pocket inside the cup. Take out the pad for the left (fuller breast). That may restore the balance. I would say you should go to a department store, such as Macy's (or something more affordable) so you can try the bras on, as opposed to ordering off the web. No one should be able to tell in the locker room what your bra looks like. If they notice, they're paying *way* too much attention to underwear.
Hope this helps.
Sabine
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The first day of December, I went to the allergist because I was sick. They said that I had a sinus infection, but they never took a strep test. A week or two later after taking zithromax and a feeling a little bit better, I started getting a sore throat, an extremely painful head ache, and a fever. My mom took me to a doctor's office (Urgent Care) and they took a strep test. It came out negative, but after looking at my throat and looking over my symptoms, they said that they thought I had strep because the tests are wrong sometimes. Now, since three days ago, my throat has been hurting worse than it was the other times and it's very hard to swallow. I'm also starting to get a headache. The only difference is that I've been sneezing a little bit and my eyes have been watery. I think that part is due to the face that I haven't gotten my allergy shot this month, though. My mom took me to the doctor yesterday once again. They took a strep, mono, and flu test. They all came out negative, so we were told that it was a virus. Since it happened before, is it still possible I have strep? Or is this just allergies? Thanks for taking the time to read this. (link)
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Hi. Despite what xlickablex says, there's no over-the-counter remedy for strep throat. It's caused by a bacteria called Group A streptococcus. There is no medicine to cure an infection by a bacteria other than an antibiotic, which you must get from a physician. That being said, there are over-the-counter medicines which will help with a sore throat, headache, and fever. Strep is a yucky bacteria, which makes people miserable, but some viruses can be even worse. The thing about viruses is that there is nothing to cure them, either. If it is strep, sometimes the doctor can do a repeat culture in a few days or do a 'throat culture' rather than a 'rapid strep test,' which can catch some of the ones the rapid test misses. Some people with strep throat also develop a fine, red rash on their throat or chest area. They can have headaches and stomachaches as well.
My advice to you is to humor your doctor that this is a viral infection. Take plenty of fluids. Hot tea will help with the sore throat. Honey in the tea makes it even better. If you're still as sick in a few days or if you can't swallow even fluids, see a doctor. If it's viral, it should be gone within 7-10 days.
No matter what happens, get a new toothbrush ASAP and start using it as soon as you are over this round of illness. That will help prevent reinfection if this is due to a bacteria.
I hope you are well soon!
Sabine
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I recently got a baby kitten & I know I need to take him to the vet to get his check-up and vaccines, he's 7weeks? Does anyone know the proper age to take him or if he's still too young? (link)
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A seven-week-old kitten is actually kind of young to be away from its mother. They're usually weaned about 8 weeks. Did you get him from a shelter? You should take him in ASAP, if so. A lot of shelters have arrangements with vets for the first exam to be free, provided it's done within a few days of the cat going home.
We adopted two kittens a couple of years ago and they were both neutered at 8 weeks of age. I, personally, think that's kind of young, but they were fine.
So I guess the answer is take him to the vet soon. Immediately if he has any sneezing, nasal discharge, watery eyes, etc., or if he is not eating or drinking well.
Good luck and happiness for you and the new kitty.
Sabine
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When you go to the gynocologist, I know they ask you if you are sexually active, but do they ask you if you masturbate? Also, if you are a virgin, how can you masturbate so it wont hurt? (link)
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I can see others answered your question about the questions Gynecologists ask well. Another question they might ask is, if you are sexually active, whether and what type of birth control you use.
Regarding masturbation, most virgin women masturbate by stimulating the clitoris (not entering the vagina) either with a finger, a shower head, or a vibrator. I don't know how old you are, so I'm loathe to tell you where to find a vibrator without knowing your age. It would be a good idea for you to check out books like _Our Bodies, Ourselves_. You can likely find them at your local library. They are about many aspects of being women, including sexuality, but if you check them out, it won't be advertizing that you are looking for information on masturbating.
If you're young, I would also encourage you to speak with a parent or trusted adult, if it's safe for you to do so.
Sabine
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i have had my period for about 4 years now, and its pretty average. i got off my period about 3 days ago. and i started having some cramps this morning. now i dont know if its period cramps or what by my upper right leg, is so uncomfortable its like numb tingly cramp feeling and i cant keep still or get into a comfortable position. i have never had this before either./ but i took midol 4 hours ago, 2 hours ago it felt better and i couldnt feel then anymore but its starting up again and i dont know what i should do? (link)
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Those are pretty vague symptoms, but I also think it has nothing to do with your period, in all likelihood. Advil is great for most people. It will, indeed, work without food, but it can irritate your stomach and even cause bleeding. Be careful not to exceed recommended dosages on the bottle. Tylenol is okay, too, but it may not work as well. Check your Midol box, because there are different formulations and some have Tylenol (acetaminophen), some have Advil (ibuprofen), and some have Naprosyn (naproxen sodium). Whatever pain reliever is listen on the box you should avoid taking separately. For example, don't take the Midol with acetaminophen along with Tylenol because it has the same ingredient as Tylenol (plus caffeine and a diuretic) in it already and you could overdose and hurt your liver. Something you might find helpful is a warm heating pad or hot pack. Put a warm, wet towel in a plastic bag. Wrap a dry towel around it and use it as a compress. That may relieve the pain as well. I hope it gets better. Either way, since you're likely around the age of 16, make sure you let a parent know what's happening if it's not gone tomorrow.
Sabine
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When i walk around someimtes my leg starts to hurt. like from right undr my butt to right under my knee. sometimes it hurts so bad i cant stand to walk.
when i was little i had surgery on my leg ((the left one the one i talked about)). somethin came out of place but when i was little i just woke up and couldnt move my leg but now my leg just starts to hurt at random times.
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Sounds like you have an entrapped (pinched) nerve. It happens to the general population sometimes and is called sciatica. You should see a doctor to find out whether there is an impingement on a nerve from the surgery or whether it's unrelated and what you can do about it.
Unless otherwise contraindicated, you can try over-the-counter pain relievers, such as Tylenol and ibuprofen, as well as ice or heat packs (whichever makes it feel better). Rest during flare-ups can be helpful. There are some chiropractors who would undoubtedly state they can help you. I don't know whether they could or not. You may improve with some physical therapy.
Wishing you pain-free holidays.
Sabine
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