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BDSM
Ok well i kinda dont no what to do cause as a guy i look at porn but i do not just look at any kind.. i like to look at girls in bondage...i want to do it and be in change but then again i want someone to do anything to me and make me do anything but i dont know what to do cause i think its kinda weird and i dont no how to approch someone to find out what they think? any oppinions! thanks 19/m
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Fantasies are normal, but make sure you don't confuse the excitement over a fantasy with how you might feel in reality. Most fantasies are indicative of other feelings, fears, desires, thoughts deep inside of us that we may be unable to express or explore in real life. Hence the fantasy world is born where one can visit different scenarios without the same consequences as reality poses. Many times less is more! This means, that it may just be that in real life you need a little of the fantasy to make you happy. Concerning bondage, be careful not to do anything that would possibly hurt yourself or others...ever. Dreams and awake fantasies have a lot in common...both reveal unconscious needs. Psychologists know that more than sexual release it is the emotional release that drives partakers of bondage. "...the knowledge that one person has complete control over the other, deciding what that person will hear, do, taste, touch, smell and feel." It is up to you to decide what is appropriate in your life, and as you explore the physical, emotional and mental aspects of sexuality, you will determine how and why your needs are met.
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There are bondage themed chat rooms where people interested in this can chat, meet, and swap pics. Just, for heaven's sakes, be careful not to speak with the under-aged and don't let anyone you don't know tie you up! As others have said, when you approach someone about *anything* sexual, you first establish a relationship with that person. After you've known her for a while, you can sometimes tell if she's kinky. If you can only have sex with bondage, however, and can't get turned on by 'vanilla sex,' that should probably be something you talk about early on in the relationship so you don't waste anyone's time or get any hearts broken. Date women who seem liberal and open to new ideas, and decide how important your kink is to you before you decide how much to 'fly your freak flag.'
Please don't think I'm using the words 'kink' and 'freak' in a derogatory fashion. They are words claimed by fetishists themselves.
Sabine
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BDSM is a common fetish; so it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. But you're right, I personally think it would be weird to randomly ask a lover to go as far as bondage, etc.
With an exception to porn starts, usually only couple in long term relationships that are looking to try something new really go for the whole BDSM. Try waiting?
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I don't think that's weird at all. I know a guy who likes watching animal porn. & Then I know some straight guys who actually get turned on by gay porn. It's something personal that you usually keep to yourself. Whatever makes you happy is all that matters. =] Try waiting to see how far your girlfriend is willing to take it, and what kinda of fetish she has. =]
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