Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84227
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do you think young people give bad advice? is that why you have this site? just telling you, a lot of young people know more than you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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NO I don't think young people give bad advice. That is not why I give advice. I give advice to help people. And I assume the young people who are on this site give advice for the same reason. I don't agree with your statement that young people know more than I do. I was young once, and I haven't forgotten what that was like. Styles change and fads, but young ambitions and ideals and attitudes are the same. Boys are the same, girls are the same,and some day when you are old, you will see the same things that I see. Sometimes people don't like my advice and that is fine. But I know that it is good advice, and that is all that matters. If you check my column and my feedback, you will see that 90% of the kids that I have given advice to, have thanked me, and said that I helped them. That is enough for me, the few kids who don't like my advice and comment negatively, are not going to dissuade me from giving advice. Some day you will see, when you are also, over 50, that you are not stupid just because kids think your advice is to old fashioned. When that day comes, I hope you remember this exchange between us.
Michele
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Is sexual activity only sex? (link)
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Well no, but sometimes sex is defined by the person who is doing it, or not doing it, for example. Internet porn, and internet sex is considered by many (usually those doing it) as not sexual activity. Many husbands spend time on the internet with porn instead of with their wives. THEIR WIVES HOWEVER, view this as sexual activity. They do not like it, they are hurt by it. Because some picture of some girl on the internet is getting their husbands attention. I hope I am being clear on this.
Some kids think oral sex, is not sexual activity, and that only intercourse,"going all the way", whatever they call it today, is sexual activity. BUT THEIR PARENTS, would not agree, and I guess you probably know why. Being intimate with someone. is sexual activity and that intimacy will involve ONLY the things that the couple is in agreeement to do. Hopefully they are both in agreement on what will take place and how far the act will go. Married couples who love each other, can be very intimate, and engage in sexual activity, but not actually have intercourse, because that is what they like and that is what they agree too. SO I guess it is up to the two people involved, and if they are both consenting adults and understand the responsibilities that go along with sexual activity. I hope this clears things up for you.
Michele
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im a 14/f, almost 15, and im around 5'4 or 5'5 and about 135 pounds, but im muscular. how many shots would be safe to drink? i drink for fun, but i want to be sure i dont get blood alcohol poisioning. what would the safe amount to drink be? (link)
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There have been studies done recently by research scientist that show that kids who started drinking at a young age, while their brains were still growing, caused permanent damage to their brains and were more likely to grow up with mental impairments, depression and anger issues. It does not matter how much you drink. you are killing brain cells and you are under age, it is against the law. And this I know for sure. The age at which you pick up your first drink, and continue to drink, even weekly, is the age that your emotional growth stops. You will have trouble with maturity and making the right decisions as you grow up and continue to drink and ad more alcohol to your life style. It's easy to see the evidence of this, just watch the drunks on that show COPS. You see them and all the stupid decisions they make like drinking and driving, beating their spouses. Trying to out run the cops, etc. etc. etc.
Look for a book called SMASHED it is written by a young girl who is today, 21, who picked up her first drink when she was your age. Drank all through college.
I would advise you to wait until you are of legal age to drink then you will be mature enough to drink more responsibly.
Michele
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I am 17 and going to the gynecologist for the first time within the next couple weeks. I'm not sexually, just going to get on the pill for my period. I was wondering what to expect and all the procedures that they do while im there. And which should I pick - a male or female doctor? Any other tips? Thanks. (link)
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I know just how you feel. I was nervous each year when it was time for my exam. Want to know when I got over it.....? When I became pregnant and had a baby. (planned for) And I had to go each month, plus the delivery and everything.....I soon got over being nervous. I have had both male and female gynecolgist, and I think a female is easier. But both of my babies were delivered by male doctors. You just have to keep telling yourself that they see so many each day, one more won't make a differnce. It helps a little. My first doctor was a male, because he was the only one who would give birth controll pills to young teenage girls, over 16. One girl in school found him and we all went to him. This was over 30 years ago. It is good that you are taking this step. It is something all women should do for their health, and it had prevented a lot of disease and cancer, because the OB/GYN finds it sooner that you would on your own.
If you have never been sexually active, I don't know if she will do an internal exam, but if she does here is what will happen. You will sit in a chair/or lie on a table, your feet go into these sort of upside down stirrups. Your heels actually will rest in them. Then the table raises up, and the doctor sits in front of you and looks at you and inserts a speculum. You will have a towel drapped over you, You won't see anything. If he/she is kind and gentle they will warm the speculum befor he/she inserts it for your comfort. Then she will also exam you with her fingers to be sure that all is OK in there. She may do a pap smear, but you may to young to be screened for cervical cancer. The doctor should speak to you gently and kindly and realize that you are nervous, and try to put you at ease. There should be a nurse in the room also. he/she may also examin your breasts for lumps and show you how to do it at home.
Doctors know that young girls are sexually active at a young age today, and they they don't have enough information about sex or get all their information from their friends. Doctors are glad when young girls come in so that they can talk to them and tell them the truth so that they will be informed, not misinformed. If I were you, I would ask her as many questions as you can that you might be curious about so that you have the REAL information about sex, and pregancy and STD's and AIDS.
I hope this helps, and good luck. You are doing the right thing.
Michele
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Where can you get birth control? Only planned parenthood or whatever because i have no clue where that is and i cant go to the doctors because i dont want my mom to know im having sex. Also do u have to be a certain age? (link)
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It depends on what state you live in. Go to their web site, they may list locations on there, and the age of consent by state. or look in the phone book for Planned parenthood. Right now that is the ONLY place you most likely will be able to get birth control, and good for you, for wanting to be responsible and get on birth control. That is the smartest thing you can do. I hope you are successful.
Michele
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Is there some kind of lotion or creme to help me get rid of stretch marks.....I kinda of grew alot and have them so....Can I get rid of them....I've also heard that Shea butter helps....Does it?
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Yes, STrivectin was formulated just to get rid of stretch marks, and what was discovered is that the ingredients ALSO get rid of wrinkles. Problem is STrivectin is very expensive. $130.00 an ounce. HOWEVER< the great news is that everyone copied the formula and a lot of companies have their own wrinkle cure and stretch mark cure creams and lotions. I believe the active ingredients are oligo peptides, and acetyl hexapeptides, but if you go to say a CVS, you can find lotions that work on stretch marks, just read the ingredients and be sure that they have he same ingredients as STRIVECTIN.
You should be able to find one for about $25.00 for six ounces.
Hope this helps.
Michele
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I think my parents are gonna get a divorce? What do i stop or help to prevent that?
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YOu may not be able to do anything, but I understand that you feel helpless and you want to try. YOu could try some honesty. You do sound smart and maybe, just maybe they'll listen, After all, they must have loved each other at one time.
If you can talk to them, tell them that it is YOUR FAMILY TOO. YOu don't want your family to break up. Tell them that they loved each other once, they should make every effort, even getting into therapy to save the marriage before giving up. Tell them that there are many regrets involved with divorce, and that even when you are an adult, you will still have bad feelings about it, and that a divorce will traumatize you.
ANd hey, all this is true, I am not making it up, and someone should tell parents that. No, everyone just say, oh well, you fell out of love, I guess you are entitled to leave and find tru love again. It's like only their rights matter, and not yours. Well ,you have rights too, speak up. STand up for yourself.
I hope you can, but if you don't have that kind of relationship with your parents, that you can talk to them like that, then I guess there is not much you can do. But you will be hurt. and well, don't let them off the hook. If they go through with this you will still love both of them, and of course they will both still love you, but one day when you are an adult, you will be able to tell them how much it hurt you. YOu could also go to the library and get a book or two by Dr. Laura Shlessinger. She is a family therapist. ANd has written some excellent books on love, marriage, divorce and parenting. She makes a lot of sense.
I hope this helps dear. Good luck to you.
Michele
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I asked you a question before about my mom and how I thought telling her that I have crushes could destroy her opinion of me...
Well, recently we went to see a movie in which there was a lot of romance and kissing, etc., and I hate to go see those kinds of movies with my mom because I feel like I HAVE to lean down and stuff mouthfuls of popcorn into my mouth at the point where the couple starts kissing, or start sipping my soft drink. I remember at the end of this movie I finished my whole large soft drink and the entire medium sized popcorn bag, which is TOO much for me, because I am a light eater.
I tried questioning my mom about her relationship with my dad, but apparently my parents had an arranged marriage, so they had no relationship, really. Now I'm kind of worried- What if my parents decide it is best to arrange MY marriage? I am kind of scared that I will end up in high school going to my prom by myself while my best friend and her boyfriend get crowned Prom Queen and King, and I'll be the loser without a date.
What do I do? (link)
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HI HOney, it is nice to hear from you again. I am going to say that I don't think that your parents will arrange your marriage. First of all, you live in America, and I think it may be against the law. They may want to coerce you into marrying someone they prefer, but ultimately, in this country they can't make you. YOu can refuse. BUt I understand that you don't want to dissapoint your parents. Also, I don't think your mom would take you to a movie that showed love and romance and kissing between a man and woman if she didn't want you to eventually fall in love and marry the person of your choice. Maybe your mom wishes there was more romance in her life with your dad. Some men are very cold, no matter what their nationality or what country they came from, or even if their spouse was chosen for them. You sound like a very smart girl with a nice life, so even if your parents aren't MADLY IN LOVE, they seem to be good parents, and are providing well for their children.
HOwever, having said all this. I will say that your parents are conservative and old fasioned, and most likely you won't be dating soon, and maybe not even until you are in college. ANd I know that doesn't fit in with your plans. You want a boyfriend soon, you want to be in love, and you want a handsome boy to speak to you romantic and wonderful things. And I guarantee, 100% that is exactly what is going to happen, but it won't be when your ready. It will be when.....I don't know, GOd, or Fate, or the powers of the Universe are ready for you to meet that right boy. No one can make it happen any sooner. Oh sure, you can chase the boys you go to school with, and if you look hard enough you'll find a boy who will want to be your boyfriend, but it won't be anything like you imagine, or see in the movies. YOu are all just to young, and he'll just break your heart. Boys mature much later than girls, so no way they are ready for a serious relationship, but hey, if you want to kiss them, well they really like that, and they will go for that. ANd you know your parents would be dissapointed in you. It is hard to wait, but I guarantee that you will be glad that you did. The young men you will meet in college are more mature, many are ready to be part of a committed relationship. Even plan for a future. And a young lady who didn't do a lot of "dating" in high school, will be more desirable to a young man in college. I hope you understand what I mean by this. If not, you can write again, and ask more questions. Any time, really.
You sound like a very smart girl who is looking at the possibility of a wonderful life with an exciting future, after college, maybe medical school, or law school, or teaching. A wonderful career, where you can make a difference. And you deserve a wonderful man who will love and respect you and plan a life together. LIke the saying goes. YOu have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince! (that's why they call it a "saying" because it comes true more often than not) And I am here to say, that hey, you don't have to kiss them. Just spend a little time and really pay attention to their behavior, and it should become obvious which ones are frogs and which one has the potential to become your prince. Just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean that he is worthy of you.
I believe all this will come true, as long as one very important thing DOESN't happen. And that is..... your parents moving BACK to the country you came from. If they do that, that would tell me that yes, they plan on arranging your marriage. (any talk about moving back????) I hope not.
Thanks again for writing.
Michele
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well, you seem like a very good columnist so im gunna ask you my question. okay well im a little 'overweight' im like 5'2'' and i weight 130 lbs and im only 12 and in grade 7... i love to eat and most of the time im bored so i just eat because i have nothing else to do and when i eat it keeps me busy. i also have like a digestive problem or something, like my matabalism is very slow like VERY VERY slow and seeing how i love to eat i should crap at least once everyday but i usualy crap like once every 2 to 5 days and i would just like a couple ways that you think are the best for me to lose weight and get me in shape for this summer and i only have like a month and a half before i go back to school and i would like to look slim or slimmer than i was before thanks so much (link)
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This question is easy, and I know I can help you, but you have to do the work. There is no easy way to accomplish your goals. (depending on your attitude) If you LOVE junk food and don't want to change, then you will find changes in your eating habits very difficult, If you like good health, and feeling and looking great, then you will embrace these changes and make them part of your life.
I used to work for a naturopathic physician, and I can tell you that your infrequent bowel movements are going to give you trouble in the future. First of all, ACNE, infrequent bowel movements can bring on acne, and you are just getting at that age.
Here is why: That stuff is WASTE PRODUCT, not just digested food, but waste products from your cells and blood stream. It is full of toxins and needs to get out. Now the job of your intestins is to digest food and absorb nutrients. when the nutrients in the food you eat are gone (fully absorbed) and only the waste and toxins are left, your intestins are still going to do it's job by ABSORBING, but the only thing it will get is toxins, and that will make your skin look terrible, and will make you lethargic, (slow with no energy) Could by why you have a slow metabolism. SO if you are not moving your bowels once a day, then you need to add FIBER, lots of FIBER to your diet. Please don't take laxatives like EXLAX, they will keep your body from absorbing the nutrients. Your body needs to absorb nutrients, digest food, then get rid of it, all within 24 hours. Eat high fiber cereals, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables,AND drink lots of water. Here is the rest of my diet suggestions that will help you loose fat, and slim down. And if you follow it, yes you will see results by the time school starts. And go walking. Walking, Walking, Walking, every day. If it is too hot, go early, or go late. Work up to a hour each day, and you will feel wonderful, have so much energy, and look really hot. (sorry but there is no other way to achieve the results you want.) Here is the rest of the info that I cut and pasted in:
Here is the same answer I gave to some other girls with the same question Don't expect miracles in two weeks. but you will see a difference in two weeks, and just keep it up, and you will loose all the weight you want and look really hot!
You need a two fold plan. Burn calories and tone or build muscles. Burning calories is any exercise of long duration. Running, walking, biking, skating, swimming. rowing, for an hour four or five times a weeek. (good thing it's summer time) Any or a combination of all of them. Then work with free weights. Low weights like 3 to 5 to 8 lbs will help tone muscles, higher weights will build muscles. (You can use cans of beans to start.)You don't want to work on building muscles until you have lost weight. Otherwise you build the muscles under the fat and you will not look better. GEt a book on weight lifting or go to www.about.com they have a section on weight loss and weight training, you can sign up for their free newsletter. If you are going to work out a home can you invest in a few hand weights and a work out bench. You can't do the right kind of exercises on the floor. Look for books by Joyce Verdral, PHD. She has books about weight lifing that explain everything, and they have pictures and all. YOu can find used books and old books on the web at www.half.com for very little money.
And finally, yo need to go on a very low fat diet, here is a basic one that I used for many years, and still try to follow. I know this works. I lost 45 lbs. in 5 months. The more fat you have the mor weight you will loose
Cut all fat out of your diet. Read the labels and see what food you eat that contains fat. I mean the nutrition labels. Foods that are high in fat are
Whole milk
ice cream
potato chips
cookies
cakes
pies
cheese
cheese
cheees
especially cheese
cheetos
doritos
french fries
NO FRIED FOODS
snack only on pretzels and low fat popcorn
no candy
no soda
drink lots of water
consume low fat or no fat versions of
milk
yogurt
drink lots of water
eat lots of fruits and veggies
white meat chicken and turkey or fish baked or broiled or grilled. NO FRYING
no red meat.
Eat a piece of chicken or turkey no larger than the size of your hand.
Cereal is a good snack food. Choose cereals low in fat and low in sugar, have with skim milk.
Eat dairy, fruit and cereal in the am.
snack on fruit
eat dairy, fruit, 4 oz of meat, and one slice of whole grain bread, or pretzels or popcorn and veggies or salad for lunch
repeat for dinner.
have a smalll bowl of HIGH FIBER cereal with fat free milk as a snack after dinner. Or pretzels or popcorn
This is taken form the FAT TO MUSCLE DIET. It is a book, see if you can find a copy.
Good Luck to you. You go girl! You are going to be so popular next year............I just know it!
Michele
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Normally I'm the to give advice to girls on this site who think they are pregnant and tell them ways to calm themselves so that the stress doesn't affect them any more. Well, one of my BEST friends told me that she thinks she's pregnant. She is on the pill and uses condoms all the time when she has sex. She finished her pill on Saturday (the 26th) and was supposed to get her period on Monday (the 28th) it is now Thursday, and she still has not gotten it and that it has NEVER been any later than Wednesday. Like I said, I'm normally giving other girls advice on how to stay calm, but I can't keep myself calm! I mean, this is my BEST FRIEND we're talking about. I told her to try to stay calm and take a nice hot bath and think POSITIVE but now it's alittle hard on me. I'm really nervous for her right now. What should I do? To help both me AND her?
I'm going to be there for her no matter what, if she really is pregnant I'm going to be there for her through the whole thing. (link)
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HI Honey,
I hope I can put your mind at ease and your friends. I was on the pill for 12 years, IT ALWAYS WORKED. It never failed me. Millions of women rely on the pill each month. So I think she is fine, but please why don't you both to out and get a pregancy test kit from the drug store, and give her a pregnancy test. Some of them can be used early on, as soon as a pregnancy is suspected. She should try it before she starts the pill again, for the next cycle.
I hope this helps.
Michele
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What do you think of a girl in her young teens(say 15,16) starting a relationship with someone thats about 11 years older then her. Say, this guy really does like the girl and the girl totally loves this guy. What are your thoughts on this? They've kissed and really do feel for eachother, but the guy lives a couple hours away, and how would this girl tell her parents if they were to ever start a relationship? (link)
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At this time, it says that you haven't read any of the answers you have gotten about your question. That tells me that you already know what the answers will be. You already know that this is a BAD IDEA. First and foremost IT IS AGAINST THE LAW. He can be arrested even without the young girls consent. And NO her parents are not going to like the idea at all. If your friend lived in the Middle East (IRAQ, IRAN, or SAUDI ARABIA) That is exactly what would have happened to her. But she would have been married off to some old guy by her parents, by the time she was 14, and they would have sold her for the money, and she would have no say in the matter. Many young girls in those countries end up committing suicide rather than be married to someone who rapes them and beats them. Thank God in this country, our parents don't sell us as brides as soon as we become teenagers.
This is a horrible idea, and the gentleman involved KNOWS it, he is just hoping that the young lady will not know any better. But when you read all these answers,and tell her what we all advised, then she does know better. I pray she makes the right decision.
Michele
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why is my ex trying to ruin the relationship im in with my new boyfriend robby?? i mean i dont like my ex and he has a girlfriend so why is he doing this to me?? (link)
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BEcause men are possessive. Don't ever forget that. The meanest ones that act the toughest, are the ones that think they OWN you. Remember OJ Simpson? Even though his wife successfully divorced him, and they both went on to other relationships. He never forgave her, and killed her, like he always said he would. Avoid guys like that. Don't take any sh1t from him. If he threatens you, call the police. Do not give him any reason to believe that there is ANY chance at all that you might to back with him. If your lucky, he will become possessive about the girl he is with now and forget about you.
Michele
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hi! i am seth i am really confuzed with myself right now.i want to be straight again ireally dont understand myself right now i have recently had a boi friend and dated a girl afterwards that tried to help me become straight because she thought that she could. hahahahahahahahaha and now I STILL LIKE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont kno why i want to get over it and start likeing girls again i dont kno how. i kno that it is against gods word and i want to go to heaven when i die, and i want to make my family happy. they dont exactly kno about me but i cant say that i havent thought about telling them. they think i am the highlight of their life they think i am lil mr perfect cuz i make straight a's and all that #@*% but there are many things i hide from them that r not good. i hope that some one can help me understand myself and try to help me become straight or watever i am........ thanks alot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Well my advice is to take your time. Why do you have to KNOW now whether or not you are straight. Give yourself some time. Take a 6 month break from intimacy with both sexes and get to know yourself better. Many people who turned out to be gay much later in life. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that you have to deny your true feelings, just get to know more about yourself and what your true feelings are. As far a God and going to heaven, I am a catholic, but I believe that GOd is going to send pedophiles, and wife beaters, and murderers to hell, not good people. I don't think he judges us on our sexual orientation, since I believe that it is something that we cannot help. We are designed to be attracted to other humans. If we are attracted to our own sex, well there is not much we can do to stop it, and denying it makes us crazy. So just make friends, make good friends, and even if you KNEW you were straight and were trying to decide about which girl to like, I would give the same advice. Take some pressure off yourself, and give yourself some time.
Michele
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is phone sex the same as real sex i mean is it like ummmmm wat you shouldent do out of the bible?????? i dont kno if that makes since but i appriciate your answer
i rate high (link)
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PHone sex is sex and I am sure that if we had phones when the bible was written, that phone sex would be prohibited. Even between married couples, because it is NOT intimacy, it is only sex. This much I know. If my husband were having phone sex with someone, he may say, that it is not cheating because they are not touching, but since it does involve another person, not his wife, I say, and most wives wouled say that it IS cheating. SO if it can be judges as cheating, that I guess it can also be judged as sex.
I hope this helped.
Michele
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I always feel as though when I talk to people I bore them or like burden them.. I feel as though everyone wishes I wouldnt be here or something.. I mean nobody really cares about me! Sometimes I feel really like i dont even speak the same language or something.. My life isnt going anywhere! I feel as though i am always doing things wrong and whats the point of even trying.. All the hope and wishes (i dont believe in anymore). there isnt any point.. I might be depressed I dont know but.. I cant seem to get this feeling to leave me.. How can I feel better? Is there any solution or anything? (link)
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Well, we really don't have enough information to help a lot, but I will try. You could have a chemical imbalance that is causing these feelings, you do seem to be mildly depressed. BUt doing to the doctor, he could put you on pills that have horrible side effects. There are herbal remedies that have no side effects, that I have seen work for people. Noni Juice is one, St. John's Wort is another and L-Theanine is another. You could try any of them, or a combination because they have NO side effects, you can get them at a health food store, Not the supermarket or drug store. I also think that you may be hanging around with the wrong people. You need to hang around with people who help you to feel better about yourself, and right now, that may be some adults, and not kids your own age, who are struggling with their own identity problems and can't help you. If you could find some volunteer work to do, you will be working with adults, and they will appreciate your help so much and sing your praises, it won't be long before you believe it. What will also happen is that you will find out that by doing such a good job volunteering, that you do have skills, and talents and you do have worth. You are NEEDED, you just haven't found the people who need you. Decide if you prefer to work with kids or seniors, and find a place to do that. If you prefer kids, then is there YMCA in your town/city. They have day care, and they need volunteers. If you prefer senior, then how about a nursing home or hospital. Or maybe you prefer animals. How about the humane society or the animal pound in your town/city. That may be fun to help feed the animals and help them get exercise. There is sooooo much to do out there, and you are needed if you have an inclination to help.
I hope you follow through on this advice, I know it sounds kind of dorky, or corny, or whatever, but I KNOW it WORKS.
Michele
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16/f. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. We've been very sexual lately...and didn't use a condom a few times. He SAID nothing went in me/he didn't go off in me, and I didn't feel anything like that did...but I'm still worried about my chances of being pregnant. I have a lot going on in my life that'll set my future. I can't afford to be pregnant and IF I am, abortion is an option of course...You can get an abortion without your parents knowing right? And how much is the cost? Ahh I'm just very scared, maybe too too too paranoid? So Please..help. (link)
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Well, first you should invest in a pregnancy test, so that if you are not pregnant, you can stop worrying. And please, buy some condoms yourself, and keep them handy so that you don't have to worry about this again. You sound smart and I am glad that you have plans for the future, so you are smart to take precautions, and If your boyfriend gives you a hard time about using a condom, then refuse sex, because he thinking only of himself, and not the future, as a pregnancy is not going to intefere with HIS future. I am not sure what an abortion costs today, I would say between 250 and 500 and I am sure that you must pay CASH. Some states allow you to have an abortions without telling your parents, but I don't know which ones. Since you are 16, I think it won't be a problem. If you are younger,it might be. The best place to get an answer to that question and the cost is planned parenthood. They are in most big cities, and I think even have a free hot line. You can find them in the phone book, or on the internet. Good luck to you, and please don't take any more chance with your future.
Michele
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ok so i just put lemons in my hair for two hours i sat outside and then i took a shower. my hair isnt blonde or lighter why is that (link)
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Maybe it's too hard to tell by looking yourself, ask someone else if they think your hair is lighter. It's like when you get the first layer of tan, you look tanner to other people than you do to yourself, Just keep doing the lemon and sunlight. Summer just started!
Michele
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I dont know how to say this. Ok here goes: I am a boy. I want to be a girl. That might seem hard to comprehend but ive felt like this all my life and now im 13 and i feel i need to use hormones before i start to develop as a male. I also feel very nervous even thinking about it. I really want to tell someone and i know i have to, but i dont know how. Im really frightened. Please help me. (link)
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No, I understand, and I am proud of you. I am a person that believes that GOd loves all of us as long as we are kind and unselfish. You cannot help your sexual orientation, and fighting it will make you a very unhappy person.
Unfortunately, I don't know the answer about when you should be taking hormones or suppressing hormones. Many people do it later ini life, but maybe they would have preferred ot start younger. I found this web site it is for young gays and lesbians. http://www.youthpride-ri.org/Youth/default.asp go there and seek out some answers. I am sure that there are email links so you can ask questions, and maybe there is even information posted that can answer your questions. I know you must be nervous. I hope your family understands. I know if it were my boys, I would love them anyway, no matter what. BUt the father, who I am divorced from, he would have a fit, and well, I can only speak for myself. I would help my sons in any way I could. I hope this helps, and don't stop looking for answers, they are out there. I am glad that you wrote to me, and I hope the website will help you.
Michele
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hey, i had sex for the first time last night with my boyfriend of 6 months, we are with eachother alot so theres no problem that we did if overall. but we had unprotected sex, i know thats bed but, he pulled out a few minutes early..could i still get pregnate? thanks alot ♥.. (link)
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Well it's possible. But couples have used this method for years. Married couples use it a lot because they don't like condums, but if there is an accident, well, at least they are married. I hope and pray that you are not pregnant, but going forward, what do you plan to do. Are you two going to invest in some condums to ensure that you won't get pregnant? Don't rely on my telling you that other couples use this method. There are a lot of "unwanted" pregnancies out there, and many of those couples thought they were taking precautions. That method is just not fool proof. Is there a clinic in town, can you make an appointment and get on birth control. Assumning you stay with your boyfriend, If you or he change partners, you should use condums anyway to prevent STD's. Honey, let me put it this way. When you become sexually active, you take on a lot of responsibility. All the things that can go wrong. So you should be mature enough to use precautions for your health and to prevent unwanted pregnancy.Sure your body is ready, and the desire is there, but if you are not mature enought to take those responsibilities seariously, then you should not be having sex. IN time you will take them seriously and take the steps required, and then you are ready for sex.
Michele
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I am 16 years old and have this wanting of sex...My boyfriend and I have been going together for about 3 months now...We have talked about it and both really want to do it. ... But were scared of gettin pregnant...and scared that our parents will find out and we want be able to date each other any more..what do we do?
Signed, Wanting (link)
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Why does your question say you are 16, but the stats for you that I see because I am an advisor who pays to be on this site, says you are 13, because my answer would be different for a 13 year old, than a 16 year old. If you are 13, you are too young. And if your boyfriend is two years older or more, than you are, he can be arrested. SO you have to worry about your parents finding out, and getting pregnant, and him getting arrested. That's three great reasons NOT TO DO IT.
If you are 16, then you should already KNOW how to prevent pregnancy and USE that knowledge to prevent preganacy. You are both old enough to go to the drug store and buy condums and USE THEM. Personally, I don't trust condums to prevent pregnancy, if you are 16 you are old enought to go to the clinic or doctor and get on birth control, to be 99.9% sure that you prevent pregnancy, and use condoms to prevent disease.
That is the ONLY responsible thing to do. If you are not mature enough or responsible enough to take those steps then you are TO YOUNG or to IMMATURE to have sex. And as far as keeping your parents from finding out, if your 16, you already know that answer. If you are 13, and you don't have the freedoms that a 16 year old has, then most likely you won't be able to hide it from them, they will figure it out. Because you'll feel so guilty. If you are 13, don't do it. it is not worth it. The boy benefits, while YOU take all the risks, getting pregnant, getting a reputation, getting punished and grounded for the rest of the summer, being a BIG dissapointment to your family.
I caution you to wait. Some day you'll know when you are ready. It does not sound like you are ready yet, not to me.
Michele
Then stay off this website, It for people who tell the truth, and who are ready to HEAR the truth.
M
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