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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
OK, so last week my "friend" Lindsay sort of got a little mad at me & my "friend" Kristen because we were hanging out with a girl named Lynnette. So Lindsay starts hanging out with Molly & Kayla because she wanted us to be jealous, but I'm not. Lynnette is a way better friend than either of them right now. So anyway, when we were all sitting down in the gym at the end of the school day, I asked Lindsay why she had a problem with Lynnette, AND TRUST ME SHE HAS A HUGE PROBLEM WITH HER!!! So then she tells me "What the heck? You know what, Lauren. If you're gonna be that way then what the heck is up your butt?" She wanted to say "What the hell is up your ass?" But she didn't. The only reason she did that is because the popular girls were around her & she wanted to be popular so she showed off, & tried to impress them. I hate Lindsay. So then my other "friend" Kristen, tells me A WEEK LATER that she worked things out with her! She's been my friend for 9 YEARS & she's friends WITH THAT GIRL LINDSAY! I'm so mad at her now. She doesn't know though. She waited a week to tell me after I was sending her e-mails, IMs, & text messages asking what's going on! Should I be this upset that I hate both of them? I mean, Lindsay & Kristen would expect me not to be friends with someone who said something like that to them. So Kristen pulls this act "Well I feel like I have to choose..." I've been sticking up for her for YEARS & what does she do? NOTHING TO STAND UP FOR ME! So then I mentioned that over AIM & she's like "Well...I mean if you don't want me to be friends with her I won't because you're both gonna talk shit about each other behind each other's backs. It's totally not worth losing our friendship over." We met Lindsay this year. But I mean...come on! SHE SAYS THIS EVERYTIME I GET MAD & SORRY JUST ISN'T ENOUGH ANYMORE! Sorry this was so long but some girls I just hate being friends with because it's so dramatic. I already told her I was mad, then I told her I wasn't even though I am. Should I be upset about this? I just need another persons' perspective on this.
Thanks in advance!
~ Lauren
Sure it's okay to be upset. You thought Kristen was your friend and she turned her back on you. Might I suggest going new friend shopping? No one should have to deal with THAT much drama. Ignore Lindsay. Don't talk to her. Don't look at her. Act like she's not even there. All she's going to do is upset you more.
As for Kristen being friends with Lindsay; you can't stop Kristen from being friends with her. She can do whatever she wants. She obviously knows it bothers you and she obviously doesn't care about the things Lindsay said. You tried explaining to Kristen that you felt abandoned right? Even if Kristen "wasn't friends with Lindsay" there would still just be more drama. I say it's time to ditch her as well.
Bottom line: Lindsay is a drama queen. Kristen is a bad friend.
You don't need to start a fight with either of them. You don't have to even talk to them anymore. Go out and meet new people and move on. Why not hang out with Lynnette more often?
So there's a boy (obviously.)
We're pretty good friends. Joke, have fun, talk a lot, etc.
We're even LAB PARTNERS, (My teacher makes it so that you have to BOTH pick that person, otherwise you get matched with someone that doesn't care.) if that says anything. (Ha, ha, with the *chemistry* jokes.)
We have a lot in common, including the fact that we're both really shy.
I really like him, but I'm not sure if he feels the same way.
Do I say something?
(15/f)
Well seeing as you two are pretty good friends, why not ask him out on a date? Flirt with him and see if he kisses you at the end of the night. You'll never know if he feels the same unless you go for it. He obviously likes you as a friend, and that's an excellent start. Good luck!
i like this guy at school but he's a year younger than me and i don't want pple saying i'm desperate so i decided not to like him anymore but i still do
what do i do? help plz and thanks!
Don't base your love-life off of what other people say. That's ridiculous. You go ahead and like whoever you want. There's nothing wrong with dating someone younger than you. Go ahead and make your move. Forget what other people say. You could be missing out on something great.
I keep having pimples on my armpit and along my crotch (I don't know the name of the place for a girl's body but like where you would have a camel toe near the pee hole) all of a sudden and they hurt really bad and I don't know why I'm getting it!
I didn't use anything new or anythign and i'm very clean! how can I make them go away? the one on my armpit has been on for liek 2 weeks and still didn't go away!
Do you shave in those places by any chance? If you do, they are most likely in-grown hairs. They are caused by shaving the wrong way and not using enough creme. They will go away with time. Try not to disturb them.
If they are pimples, try using Neutrogena body wash to get rid of it. It shouldn't irritate the sensitive area and should clear up relatively fast.
lately ive been getting really bad dantriff like its grosse!, ive always had healty hair! nooo its NOT lice, its just dantruff, i wash my hair everyother day (its bad your your hairs natural oils to be washed every day) my hair doesnt look oily or anyhting, just ALOT of dantruff and its inbarrseing
ive tryed changeing shammpoos and condinterners, ive been washing my hair with "solsin blue" wich is a shampoo used to control dantruff. i want to get rid of it!! ive tryed washing my hair every day, but nothing is working!
any sugestions thanx
First of all, you need to make sure that it really is dandruff. Chances are, it's mostly likely dry skin flaking off your scalp. That can happen when you change shampoos too often, use any style tools, etc. If that's the case, try getting a different hairbrush that won't put as much stress on your hair and don't switch your hair care products as much.
-EDIT-
There are medicated shampoos your doctor can give you that can help strengthen your scalp. Dandruff is actually caused by using too much product on your hair. The flaking skin is a different story. Like I said, try using a different brush and talk to your doctor.
Okay, so I want to paint my room because I've had bright green and I'm getting sick of it. I want to paint my room a lighter color and I guess more "mature" looking. At first I wanted to paint it purple and have a theme of purple black and white but now I'm thinking I should paint it a light brown color. Any opinions? I'll take any, and I won't rate you low if you say something I don't want. Thanks!
Honestly, a light purple and brown would look AWESOME together. Paint your walls a nice lilac-looking color and get brown accents (like lamps and pillows). The brown will say that you are mature and sophisticated, but the purple will show a softer, girly side of you.
wow.. so i've tried to have
sex with my boyfriend 2 times already
and both times he failed to get
hard. so we never finished the deed!
i feel like its my fault.. i dont
know what to do.
what can i do to get him more
excited?
Both of you probably just need to relax. Turn the lights off and give each other a full body massage. Be very sensual about it. Before having sex, try going down on him to get him excited. That usually works.
I like my boyfriend a lot but he seems very apathetic about the relationship to the point where I'm craving affectionate touch, etc. What should I do?
Why don't you make the first move? Hug him for no reason. Compliment him (guys LOVE that). If he's even within a foot of your face, kiss him. Keep a hand on him all the time; if you're walking, hold his hand; if you're watching a movie, snuggle with him and keep your hand on his leg; if you're eating, continually brush your foot with his. The more you baby him, the more he'll catch on and want to baby you.
Okay, so I'd be wearing this dress http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/4412/pd6vl3.jpg to our prom(we have a cocktail party theme). I just wanna ask what cover-up can I wear with this dress cuz they say that the venue is cold. I don't wanna freeze, you know.... Like, should I wear a shawl, bolero(cropped jacket), or something.... please help me cuz prom's already next week!
Buy a shawl that matches your shoes and/or handbag. If you feel it will still be really cold, then I think a dressy bolero would do the trick. Hopefully you can find one that matches in time. If you dance a lot, you probably won't even want to wear one anyway.
We have a couple. The man crosses the river to work. When he is supposed to come back home, he doesn t show up. The woman worries and tries to cross the river to find her husband. A cannibal offers to get her across the river ONLY if she has sex with him.
Who has the biggest share of fault in this story?
Go downwards for instance
1)Cannibal (Biggest Fault)
2)Man (Medium Fault)
3)Woman (Less fault).
There are no other variables. You dont know how long was the husband was late, or if he could communicate and didn t etc.
I will tell you what it means on my feedback. You ll learn interesting stuff about yourself just by answering this question.
This is not like the usual dumb quizzes you find on the internet.
1) the woman
2) the cannibal
3) the man
The couple obviously had a bad relationship if the woman didn't trust her husband enough to wait for him. This is really a matter of opinion.
13|f
a while ago i was at the Doctor for my inhalers. when i was aprosimatly five i asked my doctor when i was getting my next shot she said when i was 15, and when i was at the doctor a while ago i asked again, and again she said 15 but the very last time i was there my doctor said i need to get two shots. im not supposed to get one for another 2 years ! so, are they manditory? and if they are is there anyway i can just NOT have to get them? their menigitis [sp?] and theres another one i dont quite remember the name of. and my friends said their doctor never said they have to get one. so is my doctor just MAKING me get it? and is there a way i can jsut not get it
I think you should just go ahead and get the shots over with. Your doctor wouldn't just make that up to piss you off. He knows what is best for your health. This way, you can get the shots out of the way and you won't have to worry about them for a long long time. It will only take a few minutes and you'll be happy that you did it. If you want to know more about WHY he's having you get the shots, just ask him what they're for and why they're important. I'm sure he can convince you as to why they are important.
15/f
Alright, so i have two best friends. They went to a party the other night. I was walking with one of them home and she told me what she was doing and i was shocked. She said that he went out drinking at the party with my other friend, and they were making out with guys and whatever. I know it may not be a shock to you, but they would NEVER do that.. and when she told me i was devestated...although i could'nt tell her, i was dropping hints, but that doesn't help much... so now i have no idea what to do, i figured that they would never do something like that and now, im by myself... the only person who has probably never gotten drunk in my entire grade....but thats not the problem, the problem is i dont think i will be able to forgive them... i dont care if you think its what all teenagers do, its not because im living proof that not all teenagers drink and smoke, so dont give me that. I just want to know how to cope with it.
First of all, I want you to know that I agree with you 100%. Alcohol is a horrible substance and I have lost an uncle to a drunk driver. The sad part is, however, you can't control what your friends do. I think you need to come right out and tell them that you're worried and you really wish they would jeopardize their health (not to mention their reputation) all over a silly little bottle. Just let them know that you care about them and that's that. If they want to go and ruin their lives, there's not much you can do to stop them.
I'm not saying you have to forgive them for doing that stuff, but you need to understand that they are making their own choices. As long as they aren't trying to get you to go and drink, try to just let it go. All you can do is tell them how you feel.
i have a few of the sims games like the sims 2 university and open for business i want to buy a car and it has the option but you cant click on it like it wont high light why not? i thought you could buy a car on those games
You have to have "The Sims 2 Nightlife" in order to buy a car. Just get that expansion pack and it will work fine.
:)
ok i have alot of acne and i want them gone i tryed everything it there anything else i can do to get them gone so i can look good???
The only way I found a way to control my acne was through a dermatologist. Make regular appointments and each time you go ask for a cold spray. It really helps unlog your pores. The best part is your doctor can give you prescription acne medication that is WAAAY stronger than the stuff you can buy over-the-counter. That is really the best way to deal with skin problems.
Proactiv works as well, but the effects take a really long time.
I have to do a presentation on stds for a class and I was wondering if i went to the Planned Parenthood clinic, would they provide information or brochures on stds?
Of course they would. That's their job.
My boyfriend says he trusts me a lot. If I joke about a guy that I pretend to be keen on, he laughs it off but then just as quickly, comes back with something far worse like him being very 'sexual' towards another chick- nobody in particular. However, just the idea of him maybe touching or even giving oral to another chick, drives me insane. He laughs as I react by screaming and blocking me ears. He obviously knows that I'm crazy about him and that i'd hate the idea of him wanting someone else and he knows that joking about it can stir me up big time. However because I never get the same reaction from him or even similar reaction, am I right to think that maybe he doesn't find me attractive enough to another guy? I do get alot of good attention from males but they are always older or married or not as appealing as my bf. What do you guys think?
Maybe he really does think i'd never cheat and he just trusts me alot more than I do him (and thats ONLY because he's male!!)
He obviously really does trust you. If he didn't, he would be a lot more prying. Be happy your guy trusts you! And of course he finds you attractive!!! That's why he's with you! Don't ever think that he doesn't like you!
As for the jokes about cheating on you, don't worry about them. Guys LOVE sarcasm. See the beauty in it. If you joke about cheating, he's going to as well. If it bothers you, then don't start saying that you were with another guy and the subject won't be brought up.
I have this friend Jessica. She used to be my best friend, a few years ago, and I was always good friends with her until recently because I've realized she is just not a good friend... I've always known she wasn't the greatest friend but I still liked hanging out with her before. I'm friends with mostly guys, and her and a few other girls are my only girl friends really. So whenever I hang out with my other girl friends she gets mad at me. And whenever I talk to my guy friends she thinks I'm flirting... she has no idea what flirting is obviously? She's so annoying... I mean she gets mad at me if I don't call her to invite her somewhere. She shouldn't expect me to invite her anywhere. First of all, I never invite anyone anywhere, I just go along with the plans I hear from my friends (and I tell her this all the time), and second, she is always such a jerk! She literally asked out the guy I said I liked the same MINUTE I told her I liked him. I was shocked. I'd never do that to anyone, let alone my "best friend". She disses a lot of my friends too, who I love to death, mostly my best guy friend. I tell him everything and he's really important to me, but if he just gives me a hug or something she'll be like "oh my gosh stop raping her!" WTF?? She also tried to convince me to get back with my ex boyfriend who just used me, and was pretty much the definition of an asshole, after it took me so long to break up with him. I know I am the kind of person who lets people walk all over them, I know I am too nice, but I don't want to change myself. I can't stand hanging out with someone who gets mad at me every other day for no reason, insults my friends constantly, and can't watch out for me correctly. I don't know if it's jealousy maybe? I have a lot more friends than her because not many people like her, and I am not trying to be conceited in any way, but I've heard plenty of guys say I'm hot and I don't think she's ever heard a guy say that to her. I never get mad at my friends, I watch out for them, I love them and I'm always there for them. I expect my friends to do the same, and she has been really ridiculous lately. I can't keep ignoring her calls and blowing off our plans because she keeps getting angrier and my whole life would just get thrown off balance and everything would be really awkward because our parents are friends and since we were good friends before we've had a lot of traditions. I just want her to know that she can't expect me to trust her with my secrets and to hang out with her every chance I get if she's going to be such a bitch to me and all my good friends. Really, none of my friends like her... she thinks they do... it's kind of sad. I feel bad and I guess that's half the reason I don't completely ditch her... I don't want to leave her friendless. She's the type of person who will not take anything as a lesson, she only hears what she wants to and she thinks she's better than everyone else in every aspect, and if she isn't she'll be mad. She asks me for advice, and when I tell her what I think but it isn't what she wants to hear she gets mad. I'm so sick of it. I can't tell this to her face. I have no idea how to go about this. Help?
Sorry that was so long!
You need to tell her all of this. Now. It's the only way. If you can't do it in person, write it in a letter. Tell her everything you just said in your question; it's not mean, it gets to the point, and you're not completely blowing her off. It's not fair to you, or her, to keep pretending that you're okay with the way she's acting. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she's acting the way she is. If the letter just pisses her off, tell her, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I stand by everything I told you. If you can't accept it, I'm sorry, but our friendship won't work out anymore."
You were nice about it and she was a bitch. You did nothing wrong. Move on with your life. Hopefully the letter will make her get the point and you two can work things out.
Good luck!
Just started dating again and I've been dating this guy for the past month or so. We had our (and my) first kiss.
Ackward, weird - yes. Doe it get easier? Any tips on how to be just a little more comfortable?
You need to spend lots of fun time with your boyfriend. Go bowling. Go to dinner. Go putt-putt golfing. Play board games. Do everything friends would do, plus the occasional kissing and flirting. It's most likely awkward because you don't each other that well. Make sure you talk as much as you can with him and get to know things about him and tell him about yourself. The better you know each other, the funner more comfortable your relationship will be.
With me, it took forever to find a boyfriend I could spend time with comfortably because I didn't get to know them first and we'd just jump right into the relationship. Needless to say, those rarely lasted more than a month.
It really helps to be friends before boyfriend and girlfriend.
Good luck!
Ok, i have this friend friend named ana, who has a good boyfriend that cares about her soo much and loves her soo much, and i get along with her boyfriend a lot and pretty much hang out with him lot hes like my brother to me. but one day ana's close friend marie came up to me and said this to me
her:do you like joe?
me:joe? which one
her:ana's boyfriend
me:no i just treat him as a brother
her: no you dont, you really like him so BACK OFF
and then i was like what the heck? because marie accused me of liking ana's boyfriend and i felt really disapponted because it seems like ana doesnt trust me, so the next day ana talked to me about it and she was like "oh i didnt tell her to say that just said you and joe are close and marie got paranoid about it because she thought that you gonna take him away"
so i told her "im just gonnakeep the distance around you and your boyfriend" so this is not gonna happen again but ana keep saying" noo dont"
but i was like "im just gonna stop hanging out with you guys for a while because you get the wrong idea and even though u say u trust me, you still think i like him" and next thing i know she cried about it and she said" its like you're breaking up with me' what should i do? should i keep the distance around them? cause im tired of this and it made me upset, even though marie said sorry to me and she said"sorry about that i didnt mean it so, are you gonna talk to her?" and i was like " i guess?" but in my mind its just awkward and i feel like i wanna keep the distance around them and now its pretty much awkward to me but what do you guys think i should do? im pretty much confused. =[
sorry im not good at english I'm from Philippines
I think the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding. If Ana told you she didn't think that, then Marie is obviously just trying to start trouble. Don't worry about it and just stay friends with Ana and Joe. There's no reason to just stop talking to them over this. If it happens again, then you should try to get other friends. But for now, give them another chance.
i have this guy friend named mark that likes my close friend ericka and my friend knows about it and she reaally doeesnt like him because she says hes stalkerish or obsessed.I gave him advice or cheering him up when he was hurt, he tells me a lot of secrets about it. And of course i dont tell my friend even though she begs me and asks me what he says about her. So one day my friend wants me to tell him not to talk about her anymore to people. and my friend is mean to him and told people that mark likes her.And it made him really mad. so we were chatting online and i told him to not to talk about my close friend and stuff after that i changed the subject and this is the convo.
me:so who pisses you off the most?
mark:guess
me:people who tease you?
mark:and people who tells other people secret
me: oh are you talking about ericka?
mark;sure
me:are u over her yet?
mark:no i was trying to but you brought up the topic
mark:thanks
me:noo i didnt
mark: yes u did
me:w/e start over
mark:dont talk to me anymore
me:why?
mark:dont
me:ok bye
and he signed off on me and he hasnt talk to me because of this i mean what did i do? its really small arguement but i dont get why he doesnt wanna talk to me anymore. Was he using me or what?
sorry its too long and my english is bad
im from Mexico
I think he's taking his hurt out on you. He is hurt that your friend did those mean things and he is wrongfully blaming it all on you.
You need to try talking to him face to face. Tell him you feel you did nothing wrong and you're hurt that he said those things to you and you were only trying to help.
If he still acts the same, then just leave him alone for awhile so he can deal with the rejection. I'm sure you guys can be friends again someday and if not, it's his loss.