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Two-faced friend
I have this friend Jessica. She used to be my best friend, a few years ago, and I was always good friends with her until recently because I've realized she is just not a good friend... I've always known she wasn't the greatest friend but I still liked hanging out with her before. I'm friends with mostly guys, and her and a few other girls are my only girl friends really. So whenever I hang out with my other girl friends she gets mad at me. And whenever I talk to my guy friends she thinks I'm flirting... she has no idea what flirting is obviously? She's so annoying... I mean she gets mad at me if I don't call her to invite her somewhere. She shouldn't expect me to invite her anywhere. First of all, I never invite anyone anywhere, I just go along with the plans I hear from my friends (and I tell her this all the time), and second, she is always such a jerk! She literally asked out the guy I said I liked the same MINUTE I told her I liked him. I was shocked. I'd never do that to anyone, let alone my "best friend". She disses a lot of my friends too, who I love to death, mostly my best guy friend. I tell him everything and he's really important to me, but if he just gives me a hug or something she'll be like "oh my gosh stop raping her!" WTF?? She also tried to convince me to get back with my ex boyfriend who just used me, and was pretty much the definition of an asshole, after it took me so long to break up with him. I know I am the kind of person who lets people walk all over them, I know I am too nice, but I don't want to change myself. I can't stand hanging out with someone who gets mad at me every other day for no reason, insults my friends constantly, and can't watch out for me correctly. I don't know if it's jealousy maybe? I have a lot more friends than her because not many people like her, and I am not trying to be conceited in any way, but I've heard plenty of guys say I'm hot and I don't think she's ever heard a guy say that to her. I never get mad at my friends, I watch out for them, I love them and I'm always there for them. I expect my friends to do the same, and she has been really ridiculous lately. I can't keep ignoring her calls and blowing off our plans because she keeps getting angrier and my whole life would just get thrown off balance and everything would be really awkward because our parents are friends and since we were good friends before we've had a lot of traditions. I just want her to know that she can't expect me to trust her with my secrets and to hang out with her every chance I get if she's going to be such a bitch to me and all my good friends. Really, none of my friends like her... she thinks they do... it's kind of sad. I feel bad and I guess that's half the reason I don't completely ditch her... I don't want to leave her friendless. She's the type of person who will not take anything as a lesson, she only hears what she wants to and she thinks she's better than everyone else in every aspect, and if she isn't she'll be mad. She asks me for advice, and when I tell her what I think but it isn't what she wants to hear she gets mad. I'm so sick of it. I can't tell this to her face. I have no idea how to go about this. Help?
Sorry that was so long!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You need to tell her all of this. Now. It's the only way. If you can't do it in person, write it in a letter. Tell her everything you just said in your question; it's not mean, it gets to the point, and you're not completely blowing her off. It's not fair to you, or her, to keep pretending that you're okay with the way she's acting. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she's acting the way she is. If the letter just pisses her off, tell her, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I stand by everything I told you. If you can't accept it, I'm sorry, but our friendship won't work out anymore."
You were nice about it and she was a bitch. You did nothing wrong. Move on with your life. Hopefully the letter will make her get the point and you two can work things out.
Good luck!
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You either need to make your point to her about how she has been acting. And that if she keeps it up you can't handle her anymore. I know it will be hard to tell her that, I know how you feel, but everybody has got to stand up for themselves once in awhile right? If she is mean to all your friends and to you too. Then why should you hang out with her? Soon she will get the picture and notice what she is doing.
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This happened to me a week ago, not to long ago huh ? i hated being in this situation and i was so torn for the longest time. i dont really talk to alot of girls neither, maybe two or three, the rest are all boys. and i think of them as brothers honestly. ive been pretty close with this girl for two years now. i slowly realized her changing this year. everything i did, she had something to say about it, and it wasnt nothing nice. everything i said, she had to add something to do it. & if i didnt do something a certain way, i would get criticized. i started talking to a girl who i used to hate but just kinda grew uhp and realized that i shouldnt be holding a grudge well turns out my best friend didnt like her and was telling me that she is a sl^t and that i should stay away from her. i honestly think she is trying to control my life. also i started likeing a boy and when we got together, she laughed in my face and told me how its gonna be a disaster and how he is just going to break uhp with me. i couldnt deal with her anymore. i couldnt deal with her snotty comments or her bitchy remarks. i didnt even tell her that i didnt wanna be her friend anymore cause she doesnt listen. so when i started to do is not picking uhp when she calls, not answering her ims over the computer and not hanging out with her. i still say hi and bye when i see her but thats it. and i refuse to be consider best friends when the relationship we had was nothing close to best friends. i really think you need to get away from this girl. she is going to cause you even more stress if you keep putting uhp with her crap. i should really get this girl to be best friends with the girl that i know. then they could realize what type of person they are. really people like this are rediculous. the only thing that i can tell you, is stop talking to her. stay away from her the best you can. i hope she will get the hint, she may not get it right away but hopefully soon! im so sorry and i really hope i helped. i wish you the best of luck.
<3brianna
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