Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

askSweet_LiL_Angel

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Im a virgin. and I have a boyfriend and we're rady to have sex now.But whenever we try to do it, I either become dry once he tries to penetrate me so his penis cannot go in.And even when I'm wet, I become very tense and can't keep my legs wide open so he still can't penetrate me. what should I do?I'm very desperate!! we tried several times and still we can't make love:( please help!

you can try and have him hold one leg up or put the on his shoulders.

Q: 14/female
my best friend is going to have a baby and she is 13, she didn't mean to get pregnant but she did. she told me that she doesn't want to be a mother, and she isn't ready for this baby. Her boyfriend is 15 and he doesn't know what to do, she is living with him and his parents.and she doesn't believe in abortion. I want to know what are the chances of her having a miscarriage, will her age affect the her or/and the baby's health? or if anyone has had a teen pregency or knows someone who had...any information or advice will help thanks!

What about adoption there are a ton of families out there that are looking for a baby who can not have one. Yes it is terrible and you will think about the baby but an adoption agency will find a great family for her baby. Abortion i dont believe in either. Keeping the child is life changing. She could even if someone in her family or his would like to adopt the child and raise it. there are tons of other options. miscarriages just happen i was 15 when i got pregnant with my first child. and its tough trust me. hes three now and a little handful.

Q: hi angel,this is ash..am 23 years oldmine is a story not an inquiry..do sit patiently, read it and advice me..
i had a boy friend and the relationship lasted for one and half years..and v parted ways before a month,though it is not mutual..nearly one year,v were really happy..bt for the past 4 months,this is not the situation..since he was really busy with his work,he was not able to spend time for me..and i was fighting with him often,asking him to allocate some time for me..whenever,i fight he will compromise me..thsi is the only reason for what v used to fight..no other mis-understanding..this was happening for 4 months..but last month,he walked out this relationship telling that he cannot spend time with me anymore,he is not interested anymore to speak with me..i told him that this is not a good decision..he did not listened to me..he completely avoided me..he is not calling me..even if i call,he is not attending my call..so went to his workplace,his frend compelled him to meet me..only becoz of that he met me..i tried to explain him..but he never listened..i literally begged him..no use..
am spending sleepless nights..i couldnt stop crying..i feel like i was betrayed..am really angry on him,coz i trusted him completely..he left me..but still i love him..i couldnt forget him..i want him back..i really miss him a lot..i know that he too loved me a lot..but what made him to take decision..
i don know what i have to do..give me a suggestion..

I am sorry but honestly from what you have said he was working hard and men the first thing in life is to have a good steady job to support a family thats their first goal in life. in most men. he gave into you when ever you to fought he gave you wanted you should have been a bit more respectful to him and his needs and that is probably why he left in the first place. maybe you should sit down with him and tell him that. tell him you are sorry for not respecting him as much as he deserves. and in a lot of cases its just best to get a bucket of ice cream or run until you cant anymore get one good night of tears wake up the next morning with a shower and go out with your friends. spend time with them. spend time working. i am sorry if i wasnt alot of help

Q: heyy i was wondering if you know anything about green tea and diet plans, i wanted to start a diet to lose close to 10 lbs in a month. and I heard green tea was a good way to burn fat.
Do you know a good diet plan? and Im 16f and a vegetarian.

I dont know anything about that diet. I know my mother does a diet but it isnt for vegetarian.

Q: I'm planning on getting a new phone and I'm having trouble deciding between the Droid Eris and the Motorola Droid. Droid Eris has a pretty sweet price but I'm also tempted by the Motorola Droid's keyboard. But in terms of usage, which you think is better? I'm talking on the lines of its responseness, touch accuracy and stuff like that.

I worked for verizon wireless. they are both great phones. although the eris does more than the motorola. have you worked with just a tough screen phone. if not id advice you to go to verizon and play around with it. im not sure if you are male or female but if you have nails he can be harder to type or text on an all touch screen phone. bout great phones though.

Q: at my old school i had a whore && dumb bitch reputation what do i do to have a positive rep at my new school??

your attitude towards other people. be friends with everyone just not the popular kids and be nice to everyone. if someone doesnt like you dont let it bother you.

Q: Thanks for your answer and to answer your question- I am 23 and my cousin is about 30. Her mother lives in Mexico and since she is 30 there is not much she can do but advice her daughter in the best manner she can over the phone. It was her mother that called my family for us to help her since we are in the States, the problem is that my cousin has pushed all of her family away. With that said, there is no one that would take the kids. She has poisoned the kids against all of her family and, sadly, I think she would rather see them go to a foster home!! I already called the police department just hours after I posted the question, I guess I just had to get it out of my chest. Apparently, the kids' school has already taken action. We will see what happens.

is there any way you or someone in your family would be able to take the children from social service i think once it goes through you all will get so much money for helping but im not positive about it.

Q: 17/F
Sorry if its long, so lately ive been feeling so lonely. My best friend and I are no more, my best guy friend and I havent been very good and dont talk as much as we used to,and i dont have as many good close girlfriends as alot of girls do. Because id always do and go everywhere with my ex best friend,so now its harder for me now that were not together. I also just transfered to a new school my junior year(last year) and I have made some girl friends but were not close, and now lately theyve all obsessed with there boyfriends and UGH!! im going crazy! I feel like im not good enough for anyone! what can I do to meet new people or friends? Because im not in sports and in extracurricular activities. As dumb as this may sound but advice would be great! (: thanks much!!

i defintly know how you feel for different reasons. you have to place your self out there. those girls you meet this year ask them if they want to do something this weekend. Or ask what they are doing. you just have to let them know you want to hang out.

Q: Hello. I have a very difficult situation and want to remain anonymous please.

I am a 26 year old very devoted Muslim (my father was American Indian and my mother Jordanian). I am married with 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful husband. He works in IT and I am a stay at home mom who is on the internet much too often.
I was raised in Jordan. We went to a very good school and Quran school. I learned to memorize most of the Quran at a young age.
This is the first time I am opening up about this and REALLY need your advice.
My parents sent me and my brothers and sisters to a Quran boarding school for 3 months out of the year every year since I was very little. I learned a lot.
You see I lost my father when I was young (12 years) and the man who headed and taught the school and his wife where very helpful in helping me heal in ways no one ever did!! I loved my father, he was the greatest man I ever knew.

But this teacher that trained me had sexual relations with me since I was a little girl in that school. He was a very kind man who really knew how to teach well. But sadly I had to have two abortions before I was 17 years old. He was the only one I was ever with other than my husband. His wife was the one who took me to get these procedures to save my family and myself the shame. I am very grateful to her for being a mentor and confidant. But this is a shameful thing in my past I never told anyone about. The strange thing is that it has not bothered me or haunted me like I hear on Oprah and others who had these experiences. I do not have ill feelings toward this man and his wife. They are people I still respect because of how ethical and kind they have treated my family through out the years. They paid for all my education and my brothers and sisters as well. They provided meals for us when my mother did not have enough, etc. When we see them as a family we just pretend this stuff never happened. I never bring it up and he or his wife never do. It is all in the past. Until now.

My girls are now in Jordan with my family and they are sending them to the same school to learn the Quran. The same man is still teaching there. I asked around if anyone else had my experience and no one would talk about it. It is a very shameful thing for a Muslim Arab girl to talk about these things!! But my aunt, who is about my age, opened up to me and told me she had similar experiences with this man. She is also married now with five children and wants to leave the past in the past. She begged me not to tell anyone about him and to just leave things as they are since we both went through it and we turned out “OK”. He is still teaching now.
It would be devastating to our family to bring this news out about what he did with me and the other countless girls ?. I would never bring that kind of shame on him, my family or my religion. But I don’t know what to do because now my girls are in that same school. They are young I am concerned that the same thing may be happening to them that happened to me. One of my girls, the oldest is doing private things to her body that he told me to do. I confronted her about it and she does not want to talk about it. She is the same as I was when I was her age. I fear the same thing may be happening to them.
I really want them to learn from this very good school, but I don’t know what to do!! Please advise me at jihan.ali@europe.com
Anonymous

you defintly need to take your children out of that school for one. that can have a strong impact on a child and something needs to be done about it. report it. get it delt with. you know how many people this could of happened to. I know you dont want shame but it was not at all your fault and this man isnt family hun this man is a rapist. All them children he has done this to over the years you cant let this happen to your own children. i wish it had happened in the states i would take this email to my local police station but with it being so far they wouldnt be able to do anything. i hope you deal with this the right way i was raped and i know what you must have gone through but for it to happen over and over again and to just about every female in that school please help all those other girls who are suffering.

Q: 13/m
ok so during these holidays my parents told me and my siblings that they dont love each other anymore, and are getting a divorce, and for the first few weeks it affected my sisters alot, but not so much for me, i think it was because i understood that people do this kind of thing all the time, but lately my girlfriend who i love (or think i do anyways) and myself, things have just been weird, only starting this week though, im not sure why, i ask her whats wrong and she just says she doesnt know, and its pretty hard for me, ive been getting really angry and sad from it all, more angry than sad though. ive talked about it to people and theyve tried to help but just idk anymore about anything, i havent really wanted to do anything the past couple of days since this.

does anyone know what i can do? just to make myself better, i really dont like it at the moment

and if theres anything you think will help.
thanks

Going to church is a great idea and even better if you and your girlfriend both attend church together. My parents got divorced when i was 15 and i was pregnant. I felt like it was my fault and my little brother who was around your age his grades dropped a little and went from avg joe to skater punk and it helpped him compromise you just have to relize it happens to couples who dont try. counsling really helps.

Q: is it possible to lose weight without exercising? its winter andi cant go out and run because of my asthma but is it possible to just not eat alot or just eat like fruits and drop like 10 lbs?

its a good start but you need to exercise as well. do indoor exercises. jogging in place, sit ups, push ups etc.

Q: If your a minor and pregnant at 16 can you be emmancipated in the state of Michigan? i dont want a whole bunch of why are you doing this and all that, I would just like a simple answer to my question.
please and thank you
-cuttechick24

http://www.michiganlegalaid.org/library_client/family/emancipation_of_minors/html_view

also google

michigan's emancipation laws

and find other sites with your state laws.
but as far as being pregnant isnt a reason to be emancipated you would have to follow the same law and a 16 year old female who is not pregnant.

Q: I have a cousin who has always been a problem and my family recently received a call from her mother and sister asking my parents for help for her. Apparently she is now a drunken cheating whore who neglects her two young boys. Her neighbors have called the police but somehow she and her husband convince them that nothing is wrong, yes, her poor stupid husband cleans up after her. I want to call the police and child services, but I do not know if they are legal here in the states and might be deported. I am torn, I am concerned for the kids but I do not want to tear a family apart with deportation. Yes, my cousin is crazy and stupid but her poor husband is a great guy and I do not want to hurt him. His only fault is loving her too much and being terrified of her.

I am not sure how old you are but I think you should let her parents deal with it. I know its terrible for them children but there isnt anything you can do if the police have already been over there. Now where the children born in the states? if so that is all that matters right now. next to think about who would take them children.. its family or social services someone in your family needs to step up and take care of them its alot of work yes but its better then the adoption system. you have to think all the steps out. then call children services.

Q: I dont know where to start, so ill just start.
I am 18 weeks pregnant, 19 years old and have been with my now 20 year old boyfriend since we were 17. Found out about the pregnancy in October, we were living in an apartment with my bestfriend and her boyfriend. I started to get very bad morning sickness, constant vomit and fevers because of the dehydration so I decided it would be best to stop working for a few months. My boyfriend got layed off at the same time. Seeing the position we were in my wonderful mother took both of us in because he had noowhere to go. This was Dec. 1st. The agreement was 250 a month when we got jobs and to be clean and respectful. My boyfriend started his new job with in a couple of weeks. He is terrible with money, he blows through his 680 dollar checks in a matter of 5 days or less. Granted he buys me food or what ever i ask for, but then he holds it against me. (BUT during our apartment stay he lived off of me for two months, rent food fun everything i paid for) Also in the time he doesnt have money or we didnt have jobs he was usually talking me into getting a direct deposit advance (a loan from my bank that will with drawl 35 days later) Also, he smokes weed, and Im completley okay with it. we are laid back people and i believe that weed is completley fine, much more relaxed than drinking. but the problem is, all of his money goes to weed, and all of my advances went to weed. now the 35 days are catching up, i do have a job now but havent gotten paid yet. and my bf got his mom to loan him 80 dollars. 50 of which went to weed, idk where the other 30 went, but now im out of gas and cant get to work tonight (we share a car). This is a constant story, and he hasnt been attempting to save at all and he hasnt given my mother any money and im always picking up after him and his friends are always over when i get home from work. hes a sweet guy but i dk what im doing wrong, i cant get him to see the way he is is not okay. Next month i told him he is giving my mom money and me 600 every month until we move out so we arent out on our ass with a baby when we do (september)and im not taking "well can i jst pay this" for an answer bc thats what ive been hearing and he still has a 300 rent to own bill and a 300 E.R. bill and a 200 communit college bill(he never attended. he hasnt called to discuss finacial assistance or tell them he doesnt have the money either. theres more . Im going crazy bc he doesnt listen to me and always tells me my negative energy is bringing him down and always brushes me off. i have noone to talk to about me or how i feel and its starting to make me depressed. my friends just arent much for advice or conversation i dont feel comfortable whining to them bc they come to me for advice, bc i am always gonna tell them whats best for them, but in return i get the answers that will make me happy. i need more. i need advice. I also finally decided "okay, im gonna do this im gonna go to school" but then discussed with my mom the dilemma of him wanting to go to school and work and how i do not believe in daycare, we decided maybe i should wait and if we save the money I have planned, (like 6000 by sept) than i can stay home with baby, he can go to school and work full time and in 4 years hell have a career, baby will be in preschool, and i can start my school. (a vet tech program that takes 2 years) my mom and i decided that i would try school in august, but thinking all realisticly i dont want my child in daycare, i worked at one and it was not pretty. and i dont mind the stay at home mom idea. I just dont want him to think it gives him the right to control me bc i am not making any money. gosh everything is just frustrating, between him not having any money, me putting off at school, figuring out how i am going to raise a child when he sometimes treats me like i am just here for what ever purpose he thinks i am, and then the idea that we CAN do this. I have not given that up. i just am so lost with noone to talk to and i just dont know what to do and it breaks my heart because i love him, thats how i got myself here. Since we were 17 ive been the money maker, paying for everything, i took him in my home, i moved out with him under the stupid notion it would help him, and part of me wonders if he got me pregnant on purpose because i was so set on becoming my own person with my own place and my own life when we moved out. I have been in a serious relationship since i was 14, and he knows i was going to break up with him, it was obvious. Now here we are and i sit here and cry everymorning and i dont even know what i want anyone to tell me bc i dont know which is a problem and which is normal. or if im being overly dramatic. i just doint know. i just cant take it anymore and wish my baby was here so i had someone to love that has to love me and wont make me feel bad for feeling the way i do

all you can do is make him listen. my husband can be the same way. We just got married I have a 3 year old and we have a baby on the way due in two weeks. spends money like crazy money that we do not have. its stressful. you need to sit doown make him listen tell him that he needs to relize what is more important spending money on junk or saving so you can start your family the best way to do it is sit down and get him to listen. my husband finally filled out applications and turned them into today for some jobs. he hasnt worked in over a year and i had to stop because i was getting dizzy and passing out during my pregnancy. good luck i hope he relizes what is more important. oh and i used to smoke week after my first son and i quit you can have your child taken away from you when you test positive for marijuana.

Q: can someone get pregnant by fingering, even if there is no sperm or semen on the fingers?

no you can not get pregnant by fingering.

Q: 18/f

I have had a regulated period for the last year or two, and have recently come across a problem regarding it. In July of 2009, my period stopped. I got signs that it might be coming, but it never did. In December of 09, I finally thought I was going to get it and I never did. Instead, I started spotting. I would get times where I would bleed (so I would assume it was my period), but then the bleeding would stop later in the day. This has been going on for the past month.

I don't know what to do. I can't really see a doctor because my dad's health insurance dropped me, and I was recently let go from my job. My boyfriend and I are in debt, so neither of us could really pay for a doctor's appointment. (His doctor charges $70 for a check-up with her if you're not insured).

I was thinking of going to Planned Parenthood on Saturday to maybe get some birth control because I'm thinking maybe the BC would help regulate me again and get me back to normal, but I want an opinion first before I go and spend money I don't really have.

I know none of you are doctors, but if any of you have an idea of what this might be and what I could, please please help me. This is not only concerning my boyfriend and I, but it's also ruining my sex life. If you can't help, thanks for your time and I'll give the doctor a call tomorrow. :) Thank you in advance!

well first off why is it ruining your sex life? there is no way you are pregnant is there? have you tried a pregnancy test? do that before you try birth control. yes bc can regulate your periods. do some research on line google. why periods may just stop.

Q: okay so my boyfriend and i have been with eachother for almost a year now, were juniors in highschool when we started going out he was average weight i guess for his height which is like 6'1? and now its been a year and his weight is increasing. his parents wont let him join a gym and its kinda cold to run outside plus idt he has the motivation. i cant really get him to change his eating habits because hes really kinda stubborn. he might do baseball in the spring but idk if that will help. and plus hes getting self concious about it. i want to help him but i dont want to make it like i wont love him anymore bc of it bc its completley not true i just dont want him to get down about it. and i dont want it to make it like im making fun of him. please help, i love him soooooo much and i just want him to be happy:(

my husband gained weight through out my pregnancy and he just randomly started losing it again dont ask him how because i have no idea lol. but work out with him. go running with him its never to cold to wrong as long as its not icey or slippery.

Q: 19/female. this might be longer, so i will return the favor to anyone generous enough to help!:)

Basically i've been head over heels for my good friend joe for about 3 years now. i'm still a virgin, the farthest i've gone is making out. joe is 18, and he's only been with one girl and he's basically done everything possible with her, sexual wise. they were together for 2 years, understandable. i'm not sure if joe knows i'm a virgin or not, i've said i was but then sometimes it seems like he thinks im not by the things he says. so i bought these black fuzzy handcuffs at the sex store, and basically it was to just put in my room because my room is black and pink. i've never used them before or anything. well this past weekend joe texted me asking if he could borrow them and i was like haha are you serious? and he was like ha hell yea! so i agreed to borrow them to him and then he asked if ive ever used them before and i lied, dumb me. i dont know why i did, but i said yes and he asked what i did and i said well i handcuffed up a guy and then gave him a lapdance and then he handcuffed me and we had fun. i think he liked hearing that, but it wasnt true. well then we started talking last night, welll texting and we started talkiing about sexual things and he told me like his favorite position, what he likes a girl to do in bed, how he loves to do the 69, how he has had sex in the shower and so on. well this made me feel dumn because i really really like the kid, we're both attracted to each other and honestly hes the ONLY guy i can see myself ever losing my virginity to. i mean i'm 19, almost every guy i meet is going to be more experienced than me but if me and joe ever did start getting sexual, basically i would have no idea what i was doing and he would probably be thinking ... i thought she was all kinky and stuff?? i know i should tell the truth but that will just make me sound stupid dont you think, i'm not sure if i could pull off pretending to know what i'm doing in the bedroom? any ideas, advice???!

well randomly text him one night and tell him how you feel be like guess what. and when he says what. tell him that you are a virgin and the furthest you have gone is making out. tell him you like him. etc. flirt with him.

Q: What are some cute nicknames for your boyfriend?

I call my husband babe.

Q: Last year for junior prom i went to junior prom with my friends even though i didnt want to and i didnt like it that much considering i didnt want to do i was dateless and i get extremely annoyed with people at my school. This year I really want a date but its hard considering I am tall african american girl who likes tall black guys . theres not a lot of tall guys and im not close with anyone that i would want to go to prom with. Theres one kid i met and hes a freshman in college about an hr away. I really like him and i know he likes me but idk how...i mean we talk once in a while he will chat me but our conversations are general. when we hang out which we only have a few times we get along he makes me laugh and we hook up nothing like sex though. i was wondering if i should ask him? and ive only hung out with him twice...so how many more times should i hang out with him? and i dont want him to think its weird im asking him to my prom, and i dont want to seem desperate...please help!

If you like him ask him! All you have to lose is him saying no and if he does its no big deal hun. At least you get the chance to go to your prom. I would have gave anything to go. Tell him theres no gos at your school that you want to go with and you were wondering if hed go with you.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.