Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84230
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14/f
yeah, well i have a boyfriend now... but now when i talked to this one guy.. that used to lik` me.. and he waited for me because he wanted to, but i told him not to... but he said to wait for me anyways is mad now. he says that i lied to him and made him wait and lead him on when he was away from town... but i didnt.. well at least i didnt think so. but when i went out w/ the guy i am now i was goin` to tell him to not to wait for me, lik` i did last time, but then the day after he got mad saying that he shouldnt have fell for me and etc. i dont know what to do.. but i was pretty sure i didnt tell him to wait for me. he asked me out before but then i said that i felt a vibe and all.. but i didnt really like him. >.< help me please.. i want us to stay friends. (link)
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Hi honey,
Well, all I can say is be ready to deal with stuff like this for the rest of your life. Hopefully not too often though. Some guys think just cause you say Hi to them, that means you like them. In their minds they play out all these fantasy's about how much you like them and what a great time you are going to have together. You can run across a guy like this at any time in your life. Please be careful. Sometimes these types of guys can be very possessive. I agree with you, that you were clear when you told him not to wait for you. Here is another fact. You cannot remain friends with guys like this. They think every time you are just being nice or polite, that it means you think they are special. I think you have to be very clear to him that you are not interested. Stear clear of him, avoid him as much as possible, and don't encourage him, even by being nice. You can be polite though, and hope for the best. Hope this helps.
Michele
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okay i met this guy 2 or 3 weeks ago when i was waiting for my friend ouside in class me and his eyes met and he started saying hi to me and introduce himself and ever since we started talking and hanging out and stuff, i kinda like him and we pretty much flirt with each other and we always do a hand shake for like 5-10 minutes and stuff we also hold hands while we're doing our "handshake" we also hug a lot and when im with my friends he tells me to stay with him. also he alwats borrows my wristband i always wear. my friend says we seem like a couple do you think he likes me or what? (link)
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Yes, I definitely think he likes you. A lot. He is flirting with you big time. He seems to be paying a lot of attention to you and that is a good sign. Careful though, some guys have the ability to make more than one girl at a time, feel like they are the most important girl in the world. So take your time and keep your eyes open. If he really likes you, he wouldn't do anything to hurt your feelings. If he is a "bad guy" he won't be able to hide it for long, so take your time and see what happens.
Michele
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is it normal to masterbate with a vibrator alot? (link)
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Yes,
Masterbation is normal, and hey it works great with a vibrator. And what do you mean by "a lot". Are you masterbating instead of spending time with your friends? Doing school work? Or not doing the things you "used" to like to do? If that is the case, then yes you are doing it too much. Masterbation can be something that you can enjoy for the rest of your life. But it should not take the place of socializing with people and developing a close and intimate relationship with someone.
Michele
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what does TLC stand for?
(link)
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She is correct it stands for
Tender Loving Care
Michele
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i've had sex maybe three times and once i shaved my pubes and then i got these red bumps that are too small to look like razor burns where i shaved...there aren't any of these bumps near the inside of my vagina but i have three red bumps towards the top part of where the pubic hair is...
i'm scared that they're herpes or some other untreatable infection. they don't itch and i'm scared to go to my doctor...would i have to a specialist?
any idea what it is and what i can get to treat it like creams and what not?
please help... (link)
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Hi HOney,
I can understand your concern, and hopefully I can help. Herpese can start out as three small read bumps. Or it can look like a rash, and cover a larger area, or it can be just one sore, and sort of look like a blister until the blister breaks. Mostly herpes is very painful. The sore is very uncomfortable, and while you can get through the day, anything that touches it or rubs against it gives you a constant reminder that you have a herpes outbreak. If these sores are not painful, then most likely they are not herpes. They may infact be a razor rash, because the skin in that area is much more sensitive that the skin on your legs. For future reference, there is no way to prevent herpes if you have unprotected sex with a person who is experiencing outbreaks, so short of really getting to know the person you are with, it will be hard to avoid it all your life. People who have herpes are sometimes not aware, or don't care if they infect other people. TO manage herpes, because it cannot be cured, you can take 1000 mg of lysine each day, keep your immune system healthy, avoid stress, and treat the sores with apple cider vinegar. Place a cotton ball soaked in apple cider vinegar directly on the sore, it will sting at first, but you'll be pain free later and have shorter outbreaks. Many people say this "cures" herpes, but there is no clinical evidence of that. Lysine is a vitamin that is availble in most drug stores. I don't recomment the prescription Acylovir, as it has other side affects, and you would have to see a doctor to get a prescription for it. Most likely you don't have herpes, but please be careful. It is a virus and highly contageous and cannot be cured, only managed.
Good luck dear.
Michele
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I have dark circles under my eyes and I was wondering if there was any way to get rid of them. I know how to cover them up with makeup, but I'm sick of looking at them in the morning! (link)
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You definitly need more sleep, but most likely you need good quality sleep. Are you getting a good night's sleep. Do you wake up a lot. Could you have sleep apnea? Do you drag through the day, and are you short tempered. DO you have trouble concentrating? If the answer to all these questions is no, than maybe you are getting enough sleep. Some cosmetic products that are supposed to get rid of dark cirlces are products that contain hydroquinone and kojic acid (comes from mushrooms) But they are expensive and take time to work.
Good luck.
MIchele
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I wasnt sure were this belonged but anywho:
I want to know what are some things that cause premature birth and what disroders or health problems can they develop if they survived.
The reason I'm asking is because I was born premature && I've developed Anorexia.I didnt' know it until I just noticed.And I want to know if being premature has anything to do with me developing Anorexia.
And well I've just recently found out that my mother use to be Bulimic. Could it also be that its genetic., Or because of my premature birth. or both?
My question are :
What kinds of health problems can premature people who survive develope as they grow old?
Is it possible that because of my premature birth, Ive developed ANorexia or is it because My mother had Bulimia when she was my age (13)?
and anything else.
Please Help!!! I'm getting a bit worried & I really want to know. Ill rate 5's & recommend you. (link)
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No, honey, anorexia has nothing to do with premature birth. MOst of the problems you would have had from being premature, all happened when you were very young, and you have grown into a health young person. I would say that your mom's problems with bulimia have more to do with you being anorexic that being premature. I think that in your house there are "unhealthy" attitudes toward food. If you are anorexic than I would say that you think of food as an enemy, instead of being something healthy that you do for yourself. YOu need therapy to help you deal with your condition Please get help before it is too late. People can die from complications caused by anorexia.
I hope this helps.
Michele
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i am a fourteen year old female and my family needs some money.
do you have any possible jobs? my mom said no cutting grass bc she siad i'd have to supply the lawn mower and well I can't take it around town.
any suggestins are greatly appreciated. (link)
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WHy not start a dog walking business. Make up a flyer and print it out. Put it in your neighbor's mail boxes. Tell them that you will come and walk their dogs for them. A half hour walk should be good. All dogs need exercise and most owners never have enough time to take them for walks. I know some kids who did this and they made a lot of money. You can also offer to give their pets a bath. You should charge extra for that.
I hope this helps.
Michele
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can a doctor tell if you masterbate in an exam? (link)
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No not at all. Unless you have redness or irritation on your penis or scrotum from recent masturbation. I suggest you do not masturbate a few days before your exam. In fact if you are a teenager, I would be surprised if the doctor actually checks you there. He may ask you some questions though. In my state, Connecticut, doctors to ask teenagers, 15 and over, IN PRIVACY, if they are sexually active, (and that does not include masturbation!) only so they can advise them on birth control, and condoms and protection from STDS. And they ask if you have any questions about sex. Most teenagers are too embarassed to ask. Which is why I see soooo many questions about sex on this website.
Please don't worry, the doctors can't tell. Most doctors assume that teenagers do, anyway. And most doctors won't tell your parents anything.
HOpe this helps.
Michele
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I'm 5'7, 170ish pounds, and very inactive. I go to school, and then sit at the computer all day.
A few days ago I decided to start a diet, but I don't think I'm doing it right. I calculated that I need about 2300 calories a day, is that right? Or is that how much I consume? How much do I actually need a day?
Today, I consumed a total of 1163 calories. A pound is 3,500 calories. Does this mean that I'm -1137 calories today, meaning I lost half a pound? I'm very confused with everything, but I want to lose weight, and I need to know if I've planned it correctly. I just need to know if I've got it all wrong, and if I do, what can I change? (link)
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You are on the right track. YOur numbers are correct. Loosing weight, doctors say, is very simple. Less calories in, more weight loss. If you can stick to 1163 calories a day, or thereabouts, you will loose weight. Add that to using the treadmill, which will burn calories, and you will loose even more. Just be sure that you are taking in good nutrition. YOu can't build muscle or burn fat on a bad diet. In other words. If your "low" calorie diet consisted of one donut and one cup of coffee with cream and six sugars, and NOTHING ELSE ALL DAY.... yeah you may loose weight, but you'll have diabetes by the time you are 40. Maybe sooner. So eat fruit, vegetables, whole grains,like oatmeal, and chicken and turkey and fish. Salads are great. You are already counting calories which works great. Allow yourself to have snacks. Just make sure thay are low calorie. Get used to skim milk. It provids calcium, which you need in order to burn fat, and no added fat. Fat free yogurt is great too. Most cereals make a good snack. High in fiber, low in fat, and if you stick with One Cup in skim milk, then low in calories too! Keep it up, the exercise is very important. Honey, you are going to feel great(every day) in about two weeks, and look awesome in about 8. You go girl!
Michele
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Is there anyway to get my hair thicker? I'll rate 5's for anything (link)
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yes, I have the same problem, and I use these tricks.
Go to the health food store and get some "Silica" it is made from a herb called Horse Tail. Take that supplement every day. It will also make your nails grow. I also found a shampoo and conditioner that really works.
It is by CHRISTOPHE hair thickening shampoo and condition, they really work. DO both of those things and you will see a difference.
Michel
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is it true that you have to be really tall to be a model?
i asked this quesiton to some people and they said yes.. but some said you just have to be really tall if you wanna be a runway model..
what about normal models in magazines and stuff cause i'm 5'2" but i really wanna be a model and i don't know if i could be one since i'm so short=[
thanx! i'll rate high for nice, realistic answers =] (link)
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Yes that is correct. Only runway models have to be very tall. Magazine and "print" models can be short. Good skin is very important. Avoid tans, if you look closely you'll see that most models do not have tans. And do not overpluck your eyebrows. A beautiful and white smile is also important. Avoid cola and coffee and SMOKING< that stains your teeth.
Also avoid those companies that just want you to spend 2,500 dollars on your "portfolio" then never call you. YOu will need some pictures of yourself though. Some professional pictures. So just be careful who you hire.
Good luck.
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i am interested deeply in a girl , she also loves me , but we aren'r able to meet . she speaks 6 different indian languages, she sings very well.
where as i speak only two languages and my speech isn't clear. i mean i do stammer and i am not a good learner, but want to improve my speech , i want to be a better concentrater,
i cannot meet her because we both are working and bour off is only on sunday's whereas on sundays she can not go out for her brother is very strict.
now the solution what i want is i forget things very easily, i cannot concentrate on any thing in particular, give me a solution please
this is my first question . i will check out the result and comtinue enen more in detail (link)
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Well, I imagine you are both young, and in time you will be able to spend more time together. Perhaps when her brother gets to know you better and trusts you. Wanted to improve yourself is a good idea. And I will raise your stature in the eyes of her family members. It sounds like they will be looking for someone who has potential to be successful, for their daughter/sister. So lets work on your potential. Make a trip to the book store and look at the "self-improvement" books. They have books for all kinds of self help and self improvement ideas. Including improving your speech and improving your memory. There are so many ways. Books on tape or CD;s are a good way to improve both speech and memory. Reading is very very important. Work on getting a good education. You can't have too much education. I hope this works. Good Luck to you.
Michele
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Ok my name is christine and i just had sex with my boyfriend and hes black and i didn't use portection yeah i know stupid but thats not the point i know i am preg could u give me advice on how i should tell my parents because my parents are tottal raciest help what do i do (link)
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Dear young mother,
Well, there is no way that this is going to be easy. Even if your boyfriend were not black. It would be just one less thing to worry about. Do they know that you have a black boyfriend? If so, then let them figure it out, after you tell them that you are pregnant. I can only say that I often see families, even grandparents with little kids that are obviously from an inter-racial relationship, and they seem to love each other all all is OK. Once the baby is here, any reasonable person will see that it is not the baby's fault, and if they are "normal" people, they will fall in love with their new grandchild. Are you planning on keeping the baby?
There are so many things coming down the road, that you need to worry about, your "racists" parents will be the least of your worries. They will get over it, based on how well YOU handle it. You have to worry about having a healthy pregnancy, a safe delivery, taking care of the baby, (without getting overhwelmed )and financially supporting the baby. It is not easy for a young woman with a husband and their own home. So there is no way it is going to be easy for an unwed teenager. But that doesn't mean you can't do it. The law says the final decision is in your hands. You can abort the baby, or have the baby and keep it, or have the baby and give it up for adoption. So you have some soul searching to do. If you think you are old enough to be having sex, unprotected at that, then it is time for you to be mature, face the situation that you have put yourself in, and make some decisions. You are going to feel lonely and overwhelmed at times. But adult life is full of momements like that. No way to avoid it.
I wish you luck. If it helps, know that young girls find them selves in this position all the time. For 100's of years. It has been happening since man discovered woman.
I think, since you are looking for advice, that you are committed to going through with this. You must be a very strong young lady. You already know the difference between right and wrong, since you know that your parents are wrong for being racists. Maybe this is God's way of changing them. Because I don't see how they could turn their backs on their own flesh and blood, especially a little baby. It would help to say that you understand that "while they may have had hopes of becoming grandparents, that they wish it could have been in a different way".This will tell them that you DO understand, and that you are sorry, but.........
Now we have to deal with the situation at hand!
I think in the end, they will be supportive. Just give them a little time to be mad for a while. They love you too, and they will get over it.
MIchele
Write again if you like, Let me know how it went.
M
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Hello, Last night me and 3 of my friends went out and did some stuff (nothing sexual). And well one of these friends I've liked for a little while now. And the whole time she was looking for boys. Her boyfriend left her for another girl about 2 or 3 weeks ago. And I guess I feel like giving up. I don't know if I should or not. Oh well, I just want some feedback. Please.
Thanks,
Nab. (link)
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Well, I understand how you feel. And well I guess the best advice I can give, is to have a lot of patience. It is not often that young girls fall for guys that they consider friends. They want some guy that they and all their friends think are "hot" and it's hard to feel that way about someone you have been friends with. But that changes with time. Sometimes girls get hurt, guys dump them over and over, and by they time they turn 17 or 18 they get tired of being dumped and realize that sometimes the best guy is the one that they always thought of as a friend. Who always treated them with respect and who would never do anything to hurt them.
The other piece of advice that I would give, is this. Why not just let her know that you like her and you are interested in take the relationship to the next level. You never know, she may also discover that she is interested. Give her time to get used to the idea. One of the main reasons that we don't persue people that we are attracted to is that we are afraid of rejection. Well it is not likely that you will get through you life without being rejected a few times. It happens to all of us. The answer is to not take it personally. Some people just won't be attracted to us, no matter what we do or say or look like. We all have individual tastes. Just be a great guy and be polite and kind and you will find that when you are older, and love really counts. A wonderful girl will be attracted to you. And you will look back on this time and wonder why you were in such a hurry to be in a relationship, when the real wonderful kind of love, comes when you are older and more mature, and are in a position to share more with each other. Give it time. good luck to you and thanks for asking me a question.
Michele
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Last friday I had a gang bang with a bunch of black guys. Today...Monday, i'm feeling like i just rubbed sandpaper on my vagina, there are all these weird lumps and now my british boyfriend..*** ******* don't want to have sex with me...i really need my daily pleasure....What should i do? (link)
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GO find your black friends, I am sure that they will be willing to have a go at you again, you seem so willing. Bring some lubricant with you this time.
Michele
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Ive started high school theres guys all around. How do I get them interested in me and wanna go out with me? I am really shy especially around guys. (link)
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That;s the problem. YOu're shy. I was the same way in high school, but as an adult I learned not to be shy and have more confidence in myself. When I went to my high school reunion, I found out that a lot of guys thought I was really cute. And I never knew, because I was way too shy. Guys are intoxicated by confidence. They think it is sexy. YOu must find a way to get over being shy and have more confidence. I am 52 now and have a lot of confidence and men always find me to be sexy. SOOOOOOOOOO, don't wait until you are 50, get some confidence, and confidence doesn't come from guys thinking your cute, or from having the hottest clothes, or even the hottest body. It comes from being smart and from being capable of doing anything you put your mind too. It also comes from helping out adults in adult situations and haveing them tell you what a smart girl you are and what a great help you are, like when we do volunteer work.
This is my advice to you.
Michele
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Along with one of my friends, I've just been given a radio show on my student radio station. We go out on the air at 9 pm on Wednesday.
All this is geat but, I'm quite short of ideas for things to talk about in the links(talky bit in between songs). Any ideas?
I'll try and do an advice segment but that entirely relies on people texting or emailing questions. I'll also talk a bit about Amnesty International's 'protect the Human' week etc. we'll probably be able to talk for a bit about the various uni societies and teams we're involved in and play a few tracks for our fellow team members. We're also supposed to plug some of the union events which I don't really mind doing as they are almost always pretty good.
Our show is called "Random Weirdo's" so we can talk about almost anything so long as that won't offend people.
Please give me ideas and I'll play your track requests. The show will be available for non-locals at www.ramair.co.uk from 9-10 pm gmt.
Thanks guys.
(link)
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OK, congratulations to you and your friend. Here is a suggestion. This website is a journalism website for and about and by kids, teenagers. Maybe you will find something interesting to talk about on it.
http://www.readthetattoo.com/
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Well i have to do a project for my government class in school and i have to get other peoples opinions. I'd really appreciate it if you guys could give me your opinions!
My question is: What is your interpretation of this quote and how do you think this quote applies to responsible citizenship?
"My fellow americans, ask not what your country can do for you-ask what you can do for your country"
THANKS SOO MUCH IN ADVANCE!! (link)
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That quote was made by John Fitzgerald Kennedy, president of the United States, who was asassinated on 11.22.63, when I was 10 years old. What is means is that we should be a publc servant for our country or to volunteer. INstead of asking for a hand-out, or like expecting the government to fix all of your problems, (our problems) we should find a way to fix them ourselves and then help others.
My notes: people who become politicians, like senators and congressmen or women, are considered public servants and have chosen a life of service to their country. (Although today most of them are filthy rich) Or if you join the armed forces, that is doing something for your country, but you could also become a volunteer for the peace corps, or become a teacher in an inner city school, and that would be doing a service for your country.
Hope this helps.
Michele
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ok i think im pregnet but i havent had sex. but i learned that sperm can live up to an our after leaving the penis and i was all over my friend w/ benefets with only underwear on. i have one of the symptoms witch is being able to smell things really well. do u think i could be pregnet, if so what should i do?
blondie
(link)
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NO dear you are not pregnant, and sperm are not that smart, they can't swim through the cloth of your underwear and while yes they do live hours after ejaculation, they would also have to find their way up your vagina, into your cervix and find an egg and fertilize it. The penis would have to be inserted. Next time use a condom. But keeping your underwear on is the next best thing. DOn't let him penetrate you without a condom, so you don't have to write again and ask this question again. Better to be safe.
Michele
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