I am a real live adult who couldn't care less about ratings. If you want intelligent advice or an educated opinion, I'm here.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Microbiologist
Age: 24
Member Since: May 3, 2006
Answers: 670
Last Update: September 8, 2006
Visitors: 29022
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I am 21 yrs old and have been dating this guy for 3&1/2 yrs now (started my senior year of highschool) and I love him very much, but for the last year or so Ive gotten to the point where I just don't know if I can see us together forever anymore (like all girls dream) and am wondering if I should stay or go. We have been getting into alot more fights, way more easily than before and most of them are due to the fact that he is obsessed with video games and puts them ahead of hanging out with me all the time. Lately, hes gotten into this new game that has quests with alot of people on certain days of the weeks; scheduled quests. And he decides to not hang out with me and play instead even though its a friday night which is one of my nights off (no college the next day or work). We rarely see each other the way it is this semester due to classes and work and homework that this is ruining my time with him and it bugs me how he doesn't care. Even when we do hang out, when I come over to his house I have to get him off his game and its hard work. I just don't feel like a priority anymore, and because of this I get angry easier and then make him mad and we get into fights. He thinks I nag on him too much and I think he doesn't prioritize me enough. I love him sooo much, hes very honest and true to me, but I'm to the point where I'm jealous of a game?! This just doesn't feel right. The only other thing (other than his good points) stopping me from breaking it off with him is the fact that we have a class together and i don't want to have this stuff affect my grades and I am very 'addicted' to him (i love him soo much and dont know how to live without him anymore). Should i stay With him? Should i break it off? If so, when? Thanks for any advice you can give me.
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My boyfriend is 27 and loves video games (they don't grow out of it), but he does not play when I am around and always puts our time together first, as his number one priority. If you aren't his #1 priority then why the hell are you wasting your time?
PS- Is it everquest? If so, get out now, he won't change.
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A married man who I have known for a couple of years, and used to be friends with him and his wife phoned me up recently and asked me if I wanted to meet him in another city. He was getting his trailer hitched to his truck and said it was going to take a couple of hours. He said if I picked him up, while he was waiting for the trailer to be hitched that he would treat me to lunch and we could go shopping, and he'd pay for my gas. When I picked him up he said that he didnt want me to tell anyone we were doing this. First we went to the mall (remember this is in another city). He walked VERY close to me, we could have been joined at the hip. After when we went to a restaurant for lunch, he never mentioned his wife once, and instead was asking me personal questions about where I was going to meet Mr. Right. He was being very flirtatious, and I caught him staring at me romantically. When we got back into my car for the drive back to the trailer he watched me suck on a sucker from the restaurant and told me I had a "sucker fetish". I felt it was a very sexual thing to say. He was also staring at my lips when I applied lip gloss and looked like he was getting turned on.
So my question is, would this be considered cheating on his wife? Although we never had sex? I'm feeling really guilty.
signed, feeling guilty (link)
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Is this considered cheating? Yup
Your fault? no. But it will be if you spend any time with him again.
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My bf moved to another state for a job. We were still together when he left. He hasnt contacted me in 5 months, and I'm so tired of waiting around for him. I think he's been completely selfish not contacting me. I've finally come to the heartbreaking realization that it's over.
My question is how can I get over him so I can move on with my life? Everyone tells me I'm a pretty girl and can find another bf very easily.
The problem is I would feel really guilty if I started dating someone without letting my bf know. I need some sort of closure, but I have no way of contacting him because he shut off his cell and everytime I email him they get returned. Does anyone have any ideas? (link)
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You have got to be kidding me. Clearly it's over, and if he was going to give you "closure" then you would have already recieved it. Stop trying to contact him, at this point it's pathetic. Go out with your girls and keep yourself busy, in a few months you will gain some perspective and barely remember him name.
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ok...i have a big problem my best friend since seventh grade is working right now in mississippi, but shes planning on comming back home soon, when she gets here shes expecting me to go out with her to tha club and go on some trips to texas and germany but my fiance (of three years) who i love verry much doesn't like my friend because when we go out she likes to look for guys and trys to get me to also, I really dont want to hurt either person...and he will never trust her because of the things that have happend before...also i really dont know if i can trust her either because we are really good friends but she stayed the night at our house one night and when i went to bed my fiance was in the living room and she got out of bed and went to the living room in her t-shirt and panties and im like ok what should i do i mean i know all the things shes done and i still for some reason dont want to hurt her but then again i dont want to hurt my fiance we are getting along really good right now but when she comes around we will end up fighting im sure what should i do?
ps.I'm a 21 year old f (link)
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Why are you still friends with her?
(female/24)
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Hi,
I am a female from Canada seeking advice.
My bf who I have been with for 6 months is very controlling of me. We are in a semi-long distance relationship, we are still able to see each other a few times a month despite the short distance.
He gets upset when I don't tell him where I am going all the time, he gets upset when I am on the computer while on the phone with him and he uses the computer when on the phone with me, he even tells me to lay on the bed and turn off the light. He gets upset when I have to leave him for the bathroom or to say hello to someone in my res room. He considers me forgetting to call him when I promised very hurtful to him and compares me to his ex gfs and friends who do that to him. 3 months ago I OD'd and was hospitalized for depression and anxiety and ever since then he has been like this. I have tried everything from talking to him calmly about his behaviour and why to yelling at him to stop being this way and nothing has worked.
Is it just me or is it him? How do I make this bearable for myself? I still love him and don't want to leave him.
Please help!!!
Thank you. (link)
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This is a major red flag, massive sirens should be going off in your head right now. If you stay with him, then you are accepting this behavior. Save yourself a lot of heartache and potential abuse and get out now.
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i'm a male, over 20, alone as hell.
i've never been able to get a girlfriend, i've tried and tried.
it seems like some crule cycle with me, meet a girl, ask her out a couple of times, start to like her and suspect she likes me too, try to be there for her and everything, try to move things up a notch, get the "you're such a good/nice/fabulous guy, i just wanna be friends" routine. Then i'll let go of how i feel as much as posible and try being "just friends", then she picks up the biggest jerk known to mankind and i get to sit across the table watching them make out (TORTURE, for those who care). then the arshole will proceed to cheat on her, she's crushed, i have to listen to all the bullshit and cheer her up, only to find her back with the butthead a week later, then a month later he'll cheat on her AGAIN...
by the third time this happens i simply fuck off, cause she's still won't go out with me and she keeps on going back to the total jerk and every month i have to be there for her.
WHAT THE FUCK, girls always tell me what a "NICE GUY" i am and the friendship crap, but why won't they go out with me.
I'm starting to accept that i'll die alone and bitter, and am starting to avoid woman totally.
I just don't know what to do, i'm really starting to lose it with woman.
I'm over 20 and i haven't even kissed a girl yet. WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!
should i just kill myself now instead of becoming a full blown alcoholic?
should i try to like guy's more, and simply go gay?
at least i get alot of attention from gay guys trying to chat me up at bars, though im not gay. but women.......FUCK
i need advice please. (link)
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Gee, I wonder why?
Seriously, you need to calm down, relax, and stop obsessing over getting a girlfriend. I know that can't be the sole focus of your life. Get out there and start enjoying your life as a single man with friends and interests. You can't look for love, it finds you. You seriously just have to wait and relax. DO NOT pressure a woman into a relationship, just hang out and have a good time and I promise you it'll happen. You are clearly trying too hard and overly concerned about this. Tell yourself that you will not even try to date anyone until after Christmas or something, and will spend your free time going out with your friends and under NO circumstances will you cultivate any interest you might feel for a woman that you might meet. I bet you anything you'll see a difference in your social life.
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I'm 25, male.
Theres this woman I like, Kim (20), who stays in a studenthouse, Sunday I went to visit, about to walk in the back door (frontdoors a mision) when roommate Joe openes the door and stands IN the door, telling me that they are busy studying or something, so I push past and say "then i'll just say hi and bye", two steps from Joe busy making tea stands Kim, with a pissed-off expresion on her face, I just smiled at her saying hi (thinking wtf)... after a minute she warms up to me and acts her old self.
Thought about this a while, yesterday I send her a sms saying that i thought it was pretty childish to get other people to send her troubles away.
Later we talk on the phone and she freaks, asking me how I could believe that she would ask her friend to send me away, that she NEVER told Joe to do anything of the kind and didn't know abaout it, that she doesn't need this extra shit in her life and threw a few other pots and pans my general direction and killed the conversation without listering.
I've always told her to tell me things straight, no matter if she thought it would hurt me, and that it would hurt more later on if she didn't.
If she needed some time alone she knows that I won't take it personally if she told me that herself.
One of the things I like about her is that shes not stupid, she was standing 2 steps away hearing everything, if I didn't bardge in I wouldn't have know that she was standing there, besides I not really friends with Joe.
I'm not stupid, I was honest with myself AND to her about how I feel and how I saw things.
Anybody willing to give some advice please, I could use some perspective on this, thanks in advance (link)
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Are you actually in a relationship with her? Sounds like way too much drama to me, unless you have tons of history and are in love. Otherwise I would be out. Is she messing with Joe? Sounds like it to me. Dude, it probably isn't worth it. (female/24)
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Went out earlier tonight and stole as many flowers out of gardens as I posibly could, ended up with quite a lot of differant flowers.
Went to this girls house, who I have been out with at least 6 times, climbed over her apartment fence (questioning my sanity at being there in the middle of the night) scatered the flowers on her lawn and left.
I'm kinda scared that she will think I'm a weirdo stalker or something, but I really hope it makes her happy and special...
I have a idea that she likes me...kinda saw her being jeolous at another woman i was talking to one night (the woman was sweet, but happely married to someone else, and I REALLY like this girl)
anyway the real question for the modern age...would you consider this Romantic or Creepy? (link)
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(Female/24)If she is really into you then she'll love it....she won't stop gushing and bragging to her friends. If she was anything less then that then she'll just be like "oh...thanks" or maybe start avoiding you. I wouldn't have done it if I were you, You've only been out a few times and haven't established much in the relationship.
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26/m
i don't know what to expect from this but here goes.
everytime i really start liking a woman i always end up being "like a brother", this last time seemed to have taken the life out of me to the point where i start feeling resentfull towards woman and sociaty in general.
I really want a girlfriend, and always try to be just myself, but nobody seems interested, EVER. i've never had a girlfriend, i really can't believe that i'm such a big loser.
I really don't know what to do anymore :( (link)
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You don't have a girlfriend because you are too focused on the concept. You aren't a loser, you just haven't seemed to realize that you can't look for love, you have to wait for it to find you. There is absolutely nothing you can do about this. Why do you make "having a girlfriend" your focus? Right now is your time to be enjoying your friends and single-ness, sort of cementing your identity. It will happen when it's time, if you keep pushing for a relationship in any way shape or form then it turns woman off. When you meet someone who you have an instant connection with, you'll know. So will they, and it will happen without all the stress. Don't waste aother minute even thinking about this, call up your friends and plan a night out without any hopes about this issue.
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Here goes...
About three monthes ago I dated this guy called Andi, sorta started to fall for him, but he used me for money and was too emotionally immature, and we broke up. My heart wasnt broken but very bruised.
I did some crazy things on the rebound, dont wanna go into it all,but you all understand what its like I am sure.
But then met this guy called Gerard, I was still hurting over Andi, but instantly liked him, after a week we became partners, we are just so well matched.
He told me recently he loved me, and I had to go back into my past and tell him that I was really hurting after Andi,but that he was the 1 for me and no1 else came close. I told him intially it was a sorta rebound, but after a few days I knew it wasnt, this obviosuly annoys him. As I love him now...
He is annoyed at the fact he was a rebound, even though I told him I knew he was special when we met, and after a few days I knew he wasnt, but he gets annoyed still, although I loved him and wanted to tell the truth. How do I convince him? (link)
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He needs reassurance, so you need to give it to him, and be genuine about it. Also, don't wait for him to ask for it, tell him how you feel and that you care for him completely out of the blue and often.
Can I add that all this drama seems to have occured in a short period of time? Are you really sure that you ARE over boy #1 and that you really DO love boy #2? I'm just throwing that out there, because I would be concerned myself if I were involved.
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