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Controlling bf please help
Hi,
I am a female from Canada seeking advice.
My bf who I have been with for 6 months is very controlling of me. We are in a semi-long distance relationship, we are still able to see each other a few times a month despite the short distance.
He gets upset when I don't tell him where I am going all the time, he gets upset when I am on the computer while on the phone with him and he uses the computer when on the phone with me, he even tells me to lay on the bed and turn off the light. He gets upset when I have to leave him for the bathroom or to say hello to someone in my res room. He considers me forgetting to call him when I promised very hurtful to him and compares me to his ex gfs and friends who do that to him. 3 months ago I OD'd and was hospitalized for depression and anxiety and ever since then he has been like this. I have tried everything from talking to him calmly about his behaviour and why to yelling at him to stop being this way and nothing has worked.
Is it just me or is it him? How do I make this bearable for myself? I still love him and don't want to leave him.
Please help!!!
Thank you.
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This is a major red flag, massive sirens should be going off in your head right now. If you stay with him, then you are accepting this behavior. Save yourself a lot of heartache and potential abuse and get out now.
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It must be him, it is deffinatly NOT you.
If you love him, you should talk to him, and tell him to give you some space to be with your other friends, especially "guy friends" If you let him go off with his "girl friends" why doesn't he let you go off with your "guy friends"
If he is going to treat you like this, might as well let him go. Find another better guy who wouldn't have a problem with what you do, and who you hang out with. Might take a while, but sometimes being patient makes good things happen.
If he KNOWS that he is hurting you, and doesn't really seem to care, then he's not worth it.
But that's just me.
Hope this problem gets better.
Hope I helped =]
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Hun, it's definately him who has the problem, not you! Maybe you could tell him how you feel and if he still does this to you or responds badly to what you tell him then dump him! You could do so much better! Why put yourself through that? Hope i helped! Good Luck!
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If you don't want to leave him I'm afraid you can expect it to only get worse.
I would have to guess that it is him and not you. If anything it has probably contributed to your depression and anxiety. It certainly can't be helping it.
He is being abusive. He may not be hitting you but it is abuse none the less. Any normal person isn't going to be able to make this bearable for themselves by staying in the relationship.
I realize you love him or think you do. But love should not hurt. Physically or mentally. You honestly need to get out of the relationship while you are still thinking clearly.
Best of luck. :)
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i'm sorry to say this, but when you're with someone, you are supposed to be able to talk to them, and they will understand. If he's not understanding, he's not worth it. It's not going to be a healthy relationship ALWAYS goes his way, either he can change for you, or you need to break up with him. Even though you think you love him, if you were with a guy who treated you right, you would know instantly that this guy isn't right for you.
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If talking to him hasn't changed his behavior, then nothing will.
Why stay with a guy who knows that he's hurting you, yet does it anyway? Can't you see how irrational and disrespectful his attitude is?
His behavior should be a RED FLAG. If I were you, I'd get out NOW.
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