I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 50045
Main Categories:
Health
General Sex Questions
Parenting
View All
Favorite Columnists
Xenolan
|
| |
|
to detailed but i was wondering when people have sex do they automatically moan or does it just come out without even trying or effort? im really confused and would like to know. (link)
|
Depends on the person and how into it he or she is. Or how convincing he or she is trying to be.
Sabine
|
What are the Warning signs of Miscarriage:
If you experience any or all of these symptoms, it is important to contact your doctor or a medical facility to evaluate if you could be having a miscarriage:
Mild to severe back pain (often worse than normal menstrual cramps)
Weight loss
White-pink mucus
True contractions (very painful happening every 5-20 minutes)
Brown or bright red bleeding with or without cramps (20-30% of all pregnancies can experience some bleeding in early pregnancy, with about 50% of those resulting in normal pregnancies)
Tissue with clot like material passing from the vagina
Sudden decrease in signs of pregnancy
^^all that stuff has happened to me.....
Recurrent Miscarriage (RM): Defined as 3 or more consecutive first trimester miscarriages. This can affect 1% of couples trying to conceive.
Blighted Ovum: Also called an anembryonic pregnancy. A fertilized egg implants into the uterine wall, but fetal development never begins. Often there is a gestational sac with or without a yolk sac, but there is an absence of fetal growth.
^^and that sounds exactly like what i saw. Can someone please help me. What should i do now? (link)
|
Yes. Call your doctor. Get in to see him/her soon especially if you are experiencing any pain or fever after the miscarriage. That might indicate that you have had an incomplete miscarriage, where some of the tissue is retained. You may need surgical intervention or antibiotics if there's an infection. If you are trying for a baby, you may want to see your doctor to find out whether there's a problem, such as autoantibodies, which can cause pregnancy loss. When those problems are treated, you have a better chance of carrying to term a subsequent pregnancy. Good luck.
Oh, and don't forget to mourn this child if that is what feels appropriate to you. Rest and get plenty of fluids and iron-rich foods to build up your blood.
Sabine
|
im 14. i have a dry t-zone, but it gets oily when i use moisturizer. i use cetaphil moisturizer and it doesnt seem to actually like...absorb into my skin. so i usually wind up putting my makeup on when my moisturizer isnt even completely dry. i know this causes my makeup to be splotchy. (i use bare minerals ) i was wonderin if there were any good moisturizers that sound good for me?
also, if u know some good makeups, that would be appreciated as well.
thanks! (link)
|
Clinique has a very good oil-free moisturizer which I have used in the past. Right now in my area they're offering a free 7-day supply of their 3-step system to anyone who goes to a Clinique counter for a consultation. No purchase necessary. The makeup I use is the Neutrogena Healthy Skin. It's an oil-free liquid and it doesn't break me out. Good luck.
Sabine
|
I'm female - 16years old - To cut a long story short, my mum and i haven't really got on for about 3 years. I argue with my dad quite a bit too but it's not as serious...I'm into punk/rock/metal, mostly wear black combats and tanktops with a black hoody or my black leather jacket...My mum hates this as she has always been quite a perfectionist and wears suits all of the time (legal executive) - my dad is more tolerant of these factors. Anyway my mum and i had this massive argument and she basically critisized everything about my life - she doesn't want me out after it gets dark which is at like 6! and she hates me doing everything that all my mates my age can do - I'm getting kind of bullied at school for being so obediant when my parents are so strict and it's causing issues with this guy i really love - I don't want to go against my parents to annoy them but i have no freedom....At this rate i'll still be living with them and on my own with no mates when i'm 40!!
I need help! I need to experience life and make my own choices - i can't go on ignoring my own feelings just to keep them happy!
What can i do? Should i think about going to a college with student flats and moving in with a mate to get some independance?
Please help me...
Traumatised Rock-chic (link)
|
Well, I'm not sure of your parents' parenting style. Since your mom is straight-laced and overprotective and works in the legal field, perhaps it would be best if you asked for a family meeting and explained what you've just told me. Tell them concisely and unemotionally what other kids your age are getting to do that you don't. Your Dad must absolutely be in on this meeting as well, if it's going to work. You should ask for some more freedom or a way to win more trust and you should ask what is keeping them from trusting you now. If your mom doesn't like the way you dress, are you willing to dress more conservatively in order to gain more freedom? Are they worried about your mates or this guy you love? Do they think you hang out with the wrong crowd? If so, are they correct? If not, have they met your mates and your guy? The only way I know for you to possibly win this game is to turn your mother's love of logic and order to your advantage. Make sound logical arguments, like "I know you think Skull (or other boy) is a bad influence. Did you know that he reads to the little old ladies at the nursing home every Saturday, he's a straight-A student, and he's going to Oxford on scholarship? Please don't let his eyebrow piercings fool you. Can we have him over for dinner one night, after his studies and volunteer work are done?" If that goes well, then you can ask to go to the theater with him or something. Let your parents get to know the people beneath the leather jackets.
You may have to offer that you will wear clothes your mother approves of sometimes and do what she asks if you want her to trust you and give you privileges. I know you don't want to suppress who you are in order to please them, but they kind of have you in a hard spot. When you're older, you won't need their formal approval, but for now I'm sorry to say you just have to play by their rules.
I would say that going to a college with dorms or flats is a good idea, but that won't be for another 1-2 years, right? If I were you, I wouldn't move in with a mate yet - you should finish your education to give yourself the best chance of long-term success. You're obviously bright and well-spoken. I'm sure you can get through a couple more years of being under your parents' thumbs and then the world is yours to explore.
I wish I had a magic word which would make parents listen to their children. I really could have used it when I was your age. Meanwhile, I hope I have helped at least a little. Good luck.
Sabine
|
|
ok,well i have angled bangs that go off to the side. my hair grows suuuppeerr fast and i got my hair cut like two weeks ago,and my angled bangs got REALLY long! i dont know how to cut them so they are still angled, could you help? like in steps? if i mess up i dont care,because they'll grow back in a heartbeat. but could you give me steps so i know how to do it each time? also is it ok to use saftey sissors or regular sissors? cause i dont have hair dresser sissors.... thank you so much!! :] (link)
|
Sorry, while I don't have advice about how to cut angled bangs, I do suggest that you go to a store (grocery or like WalMart). In the hair accessories section, you can find a pair of scissors made for cutting hair. Mine cost about $8. What I would actually do, were I you, is to go to your hairdresser and ask him/her to show you how to cut your bangs for between haircuts. The hairdresser would likely be happy to show you if you reassure him/her that you will be coming back regularly for your trims. Otherwise, they may offer to cut your bangs for just a few bucks.
Hope I've helped.
Sabine
|
|
What is a good palates work out DVD that I can get at Best Buy that will increase endurace and give me better core muscle, for a soccer goalie. (link)
|
If you can find the Windsor Pilates series on DVD at Best Buy, it would probably be a good choice. Pilates will give you a good core workout, but it's not good for endurance. It's more like yoga in the sense that most of the exercises are stretching-type or flexibility exercises. The other ones are mostly like weights.
Sabine
|
wherever i am i'm always cold!!! its mostly my hands that are cold. so my question is how can i get warm without having to overdress, and wear gloves inside????
signed
cold (link)
|
Hey. Do your fingers and toes also turn different colors. Do your fingers start to hurt in the cold? You may have something called Reynaud's phenomenon.
Otherwise, you may have a circulation problem or possibly a thryoid or metabolism problem. You're also going to be cold if you're underweight. There are ways to help all of these things. There is medication you can take to improve circulation to your extremities. If it's not a medical issue and you're simply more sensitive to cold, all you can really do is wear layers and keep handwarmers (find them in the camping section of your Target/WalMart store) in your pockets.
Good luck. I'm a fellow icicle.
Sabine
|
|
i was just wondering if anyone knows any colleges where they give out field hokcey scholerships* ..im only 14 but i was just curious (link)
|
Hey. First I wanted to let you know that scholarships are sometimes given out by colleges, but usually by associations. You should look into some field hockey associations to find scholarship opportunities. There aren't likely to be many, as it's a pretty specific sport. If you were going for a more well-known sport, like one that's televised as soccer is, or even ice hockey, you'd probably have a better chance. If you Google the word 'scholarship' you will find many scholarship search engines. I'm not being snotty or sarcastic, either, when I say I think it's important that you spell scholarship right. You want to impress people when you ask them for money for your education. Please take that as it was meant to be - helpful.
Sabine
|
|
Alright, I was just in the shower, and I noticed my breast has this green bruise on it. It looks like marker, but it won't come off, and it hurts. I KNOW its a bruise. I don't have a boyfriend, and I haven't been drunk anytime recently. I have no clue what happened, and I don't remember doing anything that could have caused it. Is there a medical condition with green bruising(or any bruising, I've been getting lots of them, with no real reasoning). (link)
|
Green is usually one stage of healing in bruises. It's when the red cells have been reabsorbed and the yellow bilirubin is left behind. Through the skin, that can sometimes look green. Your body will reabsorb that, too. Easy bruising can be signs of serious issues, such as bleeding disorders, lupus, or leukemia. It's not likely to be a bigger problem, but if you get many bruises, you should check with your doctor just to be sure.
Sabine
|
Recently I've been feeling like something is just not right with me.I don't know exactly what it is,but I guess I sort of just feel like there's something weird going on.It's hard to explain.I feel like there's something wrong with my mind,but at the same time that just seems ridiculous and outrageous.I have a doctor's appointment coming up in a few days,so should I ask about it,or should I just let it slide?
Also,is there like some type of test I can take online that will give me a reading of my mental health?I don't care if it's official or not...I know that these things can't take the place of an actual diagnosis. (link)
|
Sorry, but you will have to be more specific about the 'something weird' going on. Do you feel like you float away from your body sometimes and watch what's going on in the room? Do you sometimes black out and wake up hours later in a different place? Do you have low energy or heinous mood swings? Murderous thoughts? Do you sometimes say "I have to catch the tampon" when you mean the bus?
I would try to figure out what exactly feels "not right" and then I would ask the doctor about it. What you say is confidential and is likely to get you either an answer to your problem or reassurance that there's nothing really wrong. I guess the best way to find out whether there's something wrong with your mental health is to ask those who are closest to you, like your rooommate, your spouse, parents, or friends. Good luck and I hope it's nothing except a little normal anxiety.
Sabine
|
|
ok so my friend and i have been friends since 3rd grade but now i have another friend and she always talks bad about her i told her i didnt care if she talked about her or if she likes her just dont talk meanly about her in front of me and she screams i can do what i want and you cant stop me so i say you cant stop me from not being your friend so were not friends anymore but she always really mean to me when im with my friends for no reason she also says i started all the fights when i didnt for example if i see a punch buggy i punch her now i did accidently do it a little hard but i said sorry and then she says youre not supposed to punch people for punch buggys your supposed to lightly tap them so thay cant really feel it and i told her my science fair idea and she said she was doing that (and she had already said hers and it was different) and i told her i would not be her friend if she did and so we got into a fight and stuff like that and she said i started them ALL! (link)
|
Yes. She sounds like a jerk. And she's not your friend because a friend acts like a friend even when she's not getting her way. Build up your own group of friends and ignore her. Do not engage her in any way. Do not respond to her teasing and do not speak poorly of her. That puts you on the moral high-road and makes you a more attractive friend to others. She'll get over it eventually.
Sabine
|
|
okay well this is pretty disgusting so bare with me. i am 13 and well my "baggage" in the pubic area is kind of "loose". lol i know its weird but whenever i look in the mirror naked just standing up straight, i can see my stuff like hanging there (not hanging really far down or anything.) but i just wanted to know if that's normal. all the girls i see, you can barely see any of their "stuff" when they face me standing straight up, but i can just see a little bit of it when i look at myself. is it normal for it to be a little low? (link)
|
Yes. That's a normal variation. Not all of our genitals are the same. In some women, the labia minora, the inner lips, are larger than the outer ones. They may be any of several different shades of pink/brown/tan, and they are not always symmetrical, meaning that one side may be longer or hang down farther than the other. Many cultures describe this as the woman's flower and it can be beautiful. There are artists who draw female genitals in different varieties as flowers. Here's a website that shows a couple of variations in anatomical drawings: http://www.bettydodson.com/subsex41genart.htm
Sabine
|
|
okay so i am definitely not gay because i LOVE guys. i mean i am like super boy crazy. but recently, ive been wanting to hook up with my best friend who is a girl. what does this mean? i just want to have sex with her, not like have a relationship or anything.?? (link)
|
This means you have bisexual leanings. This was common in the ancient Greek era, when the mantra for men was "girls for family, boys for fun." It's not uncommon to want to have a relationship with one gender and only physical sex with another. Good luck.
Sabine
|
|
I don't liek anyone in my school like for a boyfriend or anything and I don't feel anyway towards them. Like, I'll say a guy is hot if they look it, but I don't have feelins towards anyone and I'm pretty sure that no boy likes me either. I've never been asked out and I have no desire to ask anyone out. I want a boyfriend really bad because I like the companionship, but it's not happening for me. By the was, I'm only 14 and a freshman if that's gives you a better picture. Thanxxx. =) (link)
|
Nope. You're not weird. You're just not ready. The time will come. It's normal.
Sabine
|
"Averages are the products of extremes."
Its math related... please explain fully what you think! I have an idea, but I dont think its correct, so like I'll compare it with yours. (link)
|
That means that in a number that gives an average, it includes extreme numbers, which are far away from the average as well. Think of it this way. Say the average price of a lunch is $5. That could mean that you had one lunch at $4, one at $5, and one at $6. That averages to $5. But you could also have several people who ate a string cheese and a peanut butter sandwich from home, which costs less than $1 per lunch, many people who spent $5 at the cafeteria, and two people who went to an expensive restaurant and spent $40 each on their lunches. See what they mean? There are the extremely cheap lunches and the extremely expensive lunches averaged into the equation to come up with the mean average. It applies to things like the economy most. There are people making the average salary, but there are also people making significantly more or less than that as well. One millionaire averaged with 12 welfare recipients would come up with an average income which does not accurately describe what each individual makes. See? In these cases, it is more statistically descriptive to use either the median (the middle number if all the numbers are listed in order) or the mode (the most frequently-occurring number) than the mean (all results are added and the sum is divided by the number of results). Hope I have helped.
Sabine
|
17-f
when i wake up in the morning i sometimes cough up blood i smoke ciggys and weed but i doubt that would make me do that just in the mornings wouldnt i be like bleeding the whole time i smoke if it was from that am i going to die (link)
|
Get yourself to a doctor, ASAP! It could be something as simple as acid reflux eating away at your throat at night while you're lying down, causing blood in your throat that comes up with caughing. It could be tuberculosis or a tumor. You need to see someone right away. Hopefully, it's nothing.
Sabine
|
|
ahh so its the second day of my period and i still have cramps. i took tylenol yesterday and then i went to the bathroom so that didn't help.. my question is what should i do to ease the period cramps? (link)
|
Heat is my friend during these times. I put it directly over my pelvic area or take a hot bath. If you are at school or work and can't sit with a heating pad, you can get these heat packs at places like WalMart that stick on your abdomen and are completely hidden under your clothes.
There's also stretching, which helps some women. Orgasms can help as well. A little chocolate can give you some endorphins, but it's better to eat a good, dark chocolate rather than junk food like Hershey's. Other than that, I'd try Advil or Naprosyn if Tylenol doesn't work. Drink plenty of water!
Sabine
|
i was shopping for dresses and they had reccomendations for certain body types. i realized that i have no idea what shape i am, because the descriptions are somewhat vague. I think there was an apple, hourglass, pear, and petite. I have a fuller top, a thinner waist, and somewhat larger, round hips and average sized legs.
thank you =)) (link)
|
You do sound like an hourglass. What you can do is measure with a tape measure around the fullest part of your chest, the smallest part of your waist, and the fullest part of your hips. If you get this:
36 breasts
28 waist
36 hips
or something like that, where the top and bottom are almost symetrical, that's hourglass.
If you get bigger waist, like 34 breasts, 36 waist, 34 hips, that means you are an apple.
If you get bigger hips, like 32 breasts, 30 waist, 38 hips, that means you are pear-shaped.
Petite is usually described as a woman who is 5'4" or shorter, no matter whether she has a big or small frame. It's usually used to refer to the hem line or the inseam on pants and how long the waist is on a dress. Maybe, though, they mean a somewhat straight body-type, like 30 breasts, 28 waist, and 30 hips.
Hope I helped.
Sabine
|
|
Yesterday (Monday, January 15, 2007) my friend Tracy went to see her male therapist. Tracy had left a messageon Friday, January 12, 2006 on her male therapists machine about her sister and how when they get together her sister lectures Tracy about the money Tracy spends when they go shopping together to buy presents for birthdays, or when Tracy buys clothes for herself. (KEEP IN MIND today at work a customer said to Tracy; Tracy you are skinny, very skinny) So when Tracy saw her male therapist tonight she brought up the comments her sister makes about spending to much. Her therapist said; wasnt there an incident when she said fat. This got Tracy upset and mad. And she confronted her male therapist and said to him to explain and he said; I thought that was the message you left on my machine. I thought you said your sister said something about you being overweight; So they argued a little bit. She then said; Why would my sister call me fat, every one always tells me how skinny I am and my sister is always telling me how skinny I am and how I am lucky because I can wear any type of clothes; Her male therapist said; you are definitely skinny, you are not big, you do not have big legs, you do not have big hips, nothing about you is big; your body type is skinny, I bet your metabolism is fast; I just thought you said your sister said something about overweight; As the session came to a close as Tracy was leaving her therapist said; See you in two weeks, skinny: that is when Tracy asked again and the therapist said; you are skinny, your body type is skinny, I bet you have trouble gaining weight. Tonight Tracys friends said to her yes your therapist thinks you are skinny and he just misinterpreted what he thought you said on the phone. MY QUESTION: DO YOU AGREE WITH TRACYS FRIENDS (1) TRACYS M (link)
|
Yes, I think Tracy's therapist merely misheard. That can happen on phone messages. He probably was alarmed that a skinny girl may be getting messages that she was fat.
What I think is more interesting is that Tracy is holding on to the therapist's misunderstanding and making a big deal out of it. I think she's uncomfortable about something else and is using this misheard word as the basis of a conflict when there's something else she feels unhappy with about their relationship.
Dr. Freud / Sabine
|
|
Do you have to be a certain age in texas to buy toys such as viborators? (link)
|
Well, I live in Texas and I've been into Cindy's. For a Christmas "Naughty Santa" party, I bought a santa vibrator for $10 at Cindy's in the Houston area. It's a chain store and they're all over. You can also go into Spencer's (mall store), I think, and get them for $10-12, but you also might need to be 18. Here are a couple of ways around it: Mail or internet order (I think I've seen them in Walter Drake-type catalogues) or go to www.babesintoyland.com or www.blowfish.com OR go to Target/Walmart and get one that's meant for massaging shoulders. Those aren't usually meant to be inserted vaginally, but they can give you a very stimulating clitoral massage. I don't think anyone would question your age. I'm a big advocate of vibrators, by the way, as long as you can keep them away from parents/siblings, or whomever might still have control in your life. For adults, they're a great way to relieve stress, anxiety, and menstrual cramps. They won't cheat on you, give you diseases, or get you pregnant. They will also not keep you from finding a meaningful relationship with a partner, as someone once told me. In fact, they can be used with a partner.
So, if you want one, there are ways to get them.
Good luck.
Sabine
|
|