I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32938
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I could probably talk to him about it. I'm very shy doing things face to face. Makes it harder. I got the weridest voice mail. Someone called my cell humming something and I knew it was from him but he had someone else hum it I thought it was werid lol can't figure it out. Anyway's... how do you think I should approch it?? (link)
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You can do this two ways -you can arrange a time to talk to him face to face and just come right out with it, or you can write him a letter, email or whatever. I prefer face to face, but I know it can feel weird. A letter/email would be good because it gives you time to sort out your feelings and how best to say them. Whichever you choose, you should start out by telling him that you've enjoyed talking with him and getting to know him as a friend, but you are starting to think you might its becoming more than that for you, and you're wondering if it is for him too. This is hard, because you have to prepare yourself for whatever his response will be. So practice how you'll react if he says you've misinterpreted him, or he doesn't feel the same or that he does feel the same. If you know his feelings then you can decide what to do next. But it seems to me you need to know for sure, or else its going to drive you crazy!
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I am a 20 year old woman and my boyfriend is 21. We have been togeather for 5 years and living togeather for 3 years. He has always said how much easier it would be if we lived in seperate houses, because we are constantly arguing over who's turn it is to clean what, and he drinks quite a bit. Now recently he is saying he feels like he holds me back and i could make something of myself if i never met him. I explain it wasn't him that changed me but at the same time i think he might have. We have to live togeather because right now finacially we can't afford not too, but i have all of these thoughts swirling in my head. I feel as if i am not getting anything but mixed signals. I love this man with all my heart and i know he loves me but i'm not quite sure we are "in love" anymore. The only thing that scares me is this was my first boyfriend and i couldn't imagine having anyone else by my side for the rest of my life. What do i do!!! (link)
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It sounds to me like the two of you need a little time and space to really figure out who you are as individuals. What you DON'T want is to keep hanging on in a relationship that isn't making either of you happy right now and wind up 5 years down the road feeling like you've wasted all that time. Since you can't move, maybe you two need to have an honest conversation about moving on from this relationship (at least for a little while) and what that looks like while you are still living together. I can't tell you what will happen in the future, but I CAN tell you that if you do nothing, nothing will happen.
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19/f. i'm in college and i have kind of a busy schedule. the thing is that sometimes it takes me a while to get ready in the morning. i usually like to go to the gym before class or before work. but, i always usually go in the morning. they have a very nice dressing room with amazing showers so getting ready there isn't really a problem... it just seems that it takes a while to get my makeup on, change into nice clothes. I'm not saying i go super fancy to school... but i do want to look descent. I don't usually wear sweatpants to school, i wear jeans, skirts, you know, just more appropriate. then sometimes, from school, i have to go to work (where i usually sell a lot to young women/girls), so i need to look "girly." I was just wondering if you can give me advice on maybe how to get ready quicker. it seems that i have to go through this whole "process" to get ready. i don't overload on make-up or anything, but i just sweat a lot and usually have to blow-dry my hair. are there any quick tips for that? is there something i can maybe use to not sweat so much on my hair specifically? i don't mind sweating everywhere else but it's hard to look descent when your hair is all sweaty.. and then it gets frizzy, etc. sorry if this is so long, but if you have any experience with something like this, let me know if you can offer me any advice. thanks a bunch! Cristy (link)
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Great products for frizzy hair -Frizz Eaze. I've used it for years and they have every hair product imaginable. I highly recommend it.
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ok this is getting weird. I can't make heads or tails of it. I didn't see him today at mass, but he called me last tuesday. I just called him again today still nothing I left a voice mail. He did call back right away but I misssed it :( Do you think he's avoiding me... espically if he has feelings for me??? I'm just worried other people may have found out. Let me know what you think.
(link)
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Doesn't sound like he's avoiding you. He did call you right? You missed it. Maybe its time you addressed this head on. What do you think? Are you brave enough to talk to him about what's (potentially) going on?
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17/F.
I have always been the friend that people bug or make fun of just for the odd giggle. I know I am not ugly, and Im not stupid, and I know my friends care for me but sometimes it really hurts. Any time I do well on a test, people get really mad at me and call me a nerd and say that I must have no life. It is not like I wave around my marks either, many times I try not to tell anyone but then they take the paper out of my hand again. I would not say I am a victim of bullying, more playful teasing that repeats enough to actually cause hurt. I am the only asian girl in my school, (we are a very rural school and therefore everyone is white) and I hear alot of dumb racist jokes. The odd time I get upset people say they never mean to hurt me, which I know they dont, but I am not sure what to do. I do everything I can to be a good friend. I help people when they need it, and when it comes to school if they are desperate, ill help them when it comes to test reviews as well. The problem is, people take advantage of this and pretty much say I "have" to and get upset with me if I dont.
I want to be helpful, I want to maintain good relationships with people, I just dont want to be made fun of or used by the people I care about. How do you think I should fix this? I know I need to be less of a pushoever and stop making myself "easy to make fun of". I just don't know how.
Thank You. (link)
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The next time they go to far say "Ha ha! Very funny. Okay guys, its funny for a minute but after a while it gets annoying. Can we make fun of someone else for a while?" If they get upset or ticked walk away. If you're at lunch, move to another seat. They'll get the message. It may feel "mean" to you, but you're not being mean. You're not being a downer. You don't mind joking to a certain extent, but it can be a bit much sometimes. That's normal. You just need to get your point across. It may mean feeling a bit lonely sometimes while they get the point, but I know they'll figure it out eventually. Soon you'll move on from high school and you'll be in an environment where people have a more sophisticated sense of humor and will have more respect for you. Stick it out. You'll be out of there soon. Hang in there!
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okay im 16/f n im a virigin
ive have known ma man for 3 1/2 years and he really wants to do it and so do i.but im so scared b/c its my 1st time and im so scared of gettin pregnant. he told me that we will use a condom and everything but still im not 100% sure.can anyone tell me how can i be 100% sure that i will not get pregnant. (link)
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There is no such thing. The only way to be 100% sure you won't get pregnant is to not do it. If you're not ready to accept the possible consequences of what can happen with sex, you're not ready for sex. Back off this one and wait a little longer. You won't regret it. If your friend gets angry, that's a sure sign he's not "the one".
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How do you know when it's meant to be or fanticy. When your married I wouldn't say extriemly happy but content. Hadn't been the best some verbal abuse little physical he's an acholic but I know he truely loves me. 3 children and never had I even dreamed of straying.
I thought I could change him, but regardless till death do we part. Then a stranger not even my type of which I'd never take 2 glances at the moment our eye's meet I felt feelings I never felt in my life. I was numb no sexual desire and at once I was alive again. I had urges never before I went places I would never dare. First just innocent conversation but it was like my best friend he made me see the beauty in me again. He should me the good in me I couldn't see.
He from adifferent world I was taught was no good the evil side of the world just because of how he looked. But I saw the beauty of his soul the hurt that hid beneath. How much love he had inside. He made me walk away when he seen how torn I was wanting to do the godly thing, but wanting him uncontrollable so he made me leave and made hisself out to be what he could never be.l walk away to give my home the chance it needs. It's been 1 year now and he's all I see. He sends feelings through me you wouldn't believe. He pushed me away when he seen I was unsure. Still calling me on occassion making me believe he's wild and free relationship will never be. He say's he's a player and has no care but I feel in my heart it's make believe he doesn't want to influence me in any way. And I hurt him when he set me free to do what is right for me. So tell me am I Just making myself believe or could this be my true soul mate meant for me. I'm 31 and for last 10 years I gave up me who I am my percinality the things I like. To be the perfect wife for my country husband just the need to be loved. In the past bad relationships cheated on, abuse, He was the first one who didn't cheat and that ment alot. (link)
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This is your heart responding to a lack of nourishment in your marriage. It feels real. But its not. You are missing something and this man came along to fill that hole, but you are married. No matter how unhappy the circumstances, you've made a commitment and there are things you have to do first before you walk away with your heart. First, you need to try to get into marriage counseling. If you are religious, start with church. Ask your pastor/priest if there are any marriage classes available and if there is anyone in the church leadership who specializes in marriage counseling. If not, seek out private counseling. It may be a bit costly, but what is the price of your marriage and peace of mind? Tell your husband you are not happy, but you want to save your marriage and counseling is where to start. If he won't go, go alone. It will help. It really will. Also, find an Al-anon meeting. These are meetings for family members of alcoholics. There you will find other people in similar situations. You'll be surprised to find out how many others have gone through what you are going through. Here is the website. Maybe you can find a meeting nearby. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Don't give up without a fight. It seems impossible right now, but it can turn around if you are both willing to work. I hope your husband will be willing to work with you to repair your marriage. Good luck.
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Ok everything is going good soo far. We found excuses to sort of touch each other more wheather it was hand shaking or touching me slightly on the back. course when I left I couldn't figure this out we give each others cues with our eyes or anything else with body language since we can't say it. He squeezed my hand for about 4 seconds after I left and I gently let go touching his fingers I"m soo trying to figure this out I"m not that good with body language lol. I wish he would get closer to me. There was tons of eye contact. What do you make of it?? (link)
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Sounds like flirting to me ; ) These are good signs. It sounds like you're reading it correctly. Hmmmm... this is getting interesting.
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Everything is back on track. Were finally talking again threw email. Thank God lol. Everything should go even better tomorrow I will let you know how it turns out :) Thanks for the advice (link)
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Great! Let me know how it goes : )
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I have this vaginal discharge that looks like cottage cheese and is rubbery, and it smells like tuna, and has a purple tint do you know what could be causing this, should i see a doctor? Ive had it for about 5 months. Is it parts from a fetus that i could have had inside me? (I had a miscarriage!) Please answer ASAP! (link)
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See a doctor. There's no other thing to do. See a doctor immediately. If for no other reason than to give you peace of mind. Do it ASAP. Good luck.
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I am looking for Godly advice please. My husband got violent today, threatening both me and my daughter, breaking things and hurting us... I went to the police, which I have never done with him, and now he is in jail. I dont know that he will even try to come back, it may be that he just lashes out, or never contacts me again. But what if he does, what do I do if he wants to get help and come home? How do I handle this? Im scared, and trying not to fall apart. I dont think that what he did is ok at all, but does anyone know if the Bible says anything about how to handle this? (link)
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Has he done this before? I must say it was very brave of you to call the police. I don't think the Bible gives specifics for a situation like this, but it does say in Peter that wives should "submit to their husbands" but right after that it says (and this is IMPORTANT) husbands "treat your wife with respect and love your wife as Christ loves the church". Obviously your husband has not met his end of this command. You can't submit to a man you don't trust to have your best interests at heart. Your husband is obviously disturbed in some way. Can people change? You bet. But not without lots and lots of help and support. My feeling is that he will want to come back. It is important that you don't let him back in your home until he has sought help. Help should come in the form of professional therapy and (since you sound like a woman of faith) church counseling. Your marriage doesn't have to be over (yet), but he has to take some serious steps to repair the damage to himself and to you and your daughter. She's what is most important here. You don't want her to grow up knowing her dad as a violent man. That will set her up for all sorts of trouble in the future. If he does decide to get help, please understand that it is a long process, and it will mean you two will need to be separated for quite a while until you are in a place where he can be trusted again. If he doesn't get help, or the help he gets isn't satisfactory, you must honor your obligation as a parent and keep you and your daughter as far away from him as possible. God hates divorce, but he hates to see his precious children hurt and abused even more. You've got some tough decisions ahead of you. Surround yourself with supportive people. Find a support group for victims of domestic violence, so you can talk to others who have been in your shoes. And stay in prayer. It sounds silly to those who don't believe, but prayer helps. Its your direct line to God and that's where you're going to find the most clarity in this situation. I hope all the best for you and your daughter in these trying days. Remember that God has promised never to give us more than we can handle. You must be a very strong woman!
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I'm 29 & he's about 41. There isn't much of an age difference he is giving me signals iwas even gonna ask him if were still friends. He seemed ok when I left church last weekend he's just being weird. I miss the friendship I was tempted to call but it's only one more day. Plus I'm seeking advice from a psychic tomorrow thanks for the advice (link)
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Do you think maybe the age difference could be an issue for him? I don't think its that serious, but sometimes people can be funny about that sort of thing. Yeah, I would casually (as casually as possible) mention that you hadn't heard from him in a while. Like maybe "Oh, you must be so busy. I haven't heard from you in a while" See what he says.
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I'm 19/f and I live in Miami, Florida. I am a college student. At school and such, I do get some attention. I don't mean to sound arrogant or anything, but I was a model and I try to take good care of myself (workout every day, i always try to look descently dressed, made up). But, it seems like I'm having a lot of trouble meeting people that I would like to date. I go to a big school and I'm sure there are some cute guys, I just can't find them!! I can get into some clubs here, but that's not exactly the crowd I want to hang around and would definately not go there by myself! The night clubs here are not exactly like others. They're quite dangerous. But anyway, it's really hard. I did look at some dating sites, but I didn't like what I saw. I don't mean it in the sense that I thought the people were ugly (i'm not like that, i'm not much into looks), but they were just using inappropriate language, posting inappropriate pictures... not a good impression you want to get of someone right before MEETING THEM! lol. I just need a good way to meet guys. And a safe one. If you have any ideas, please let me know. And if you live in Miami, and can tell me some safer "hot spots' other than South Beach, let me know.
Thanks (link)
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Well, a really good way is to join clubs/activities. It might sound nerdy, but its actually a great way to meet people because you already have something in common to talk about and you will be in the same place at the same time every week (or whenever the group meets) so you'll have the chance to build relationships in a safe environment. Also, a lot of bigger cities will have "singles" leagues for various activities. Do an internet search. You can find volleyball, softball or other leagues that are just for fun. I used to do it (back before I was married) and it was always fun. A lot of times we'd go out for food or something after. But start by thinking about the things you are interested in. Reading? Join a book club. Animal rights? Join a group. Whatever it is, you can find a group for it. Even if there aren't many guys in the group, another way to meet good guys is to meet good girls. Then they invite you to parties or introduce you to their guy friends and then.... ta da!!! you meet Mr. Right. Hope I helped. Good luck.
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A year ago last month I ended a bad relationship with my ex and my mother told me to just come back home for a while. I'm almost 23 years old and have been residing in my mothers 1 bedroom apartment since. My mom is on public housing so her apartment is small and I sleep on a futon in her living room. She has 2 cats and 1 dog and she isn't very motivated to keep up on cleanliness when it comes to the pets or even her things. I clean the living room daily and by the time that I get done with work the house smells like dog feces and there's things all of the place again. I told my mom that I didn't think that she should get a dog and if she got it that it would be her responsibility because I thought it was a horrible idea in the apartment. She's using puppy pads for a bathroom for the puppy and well that might be smart but she's not training the puppy how to go outside, just lets her do what she wants in the house. Now she doesn't even take the puppy with her, the dog has become my responsibilty to take care of. Not only is that frustrating but back in January she got pulled over for a dwi and the police found traces of meth in her car so she's getting evicted. As far as I can think back I've never really known my mom to pay a real rent she's always been on some kind of assistance. If she wasn't my mom and just a room mate, she would no longer be living under the same roof as me. Now that she's being evicted we have to find somewhere else to go and I'm so frustrated because without me I don't think she can make it on her own, but I don't want to live with her anymore it's so frustrating. Am I being selfish for wanting us to go our own seperate ways? What should I do- do my own thing and just let her try to figure something out on her own, I don't think she'd make it. I just know that if I move with her now that I'm going to be obligated to stay with her for who knows how long because she definitely can't afford to pay rent on her own. This sucks, I feel like my own mother has me trapped and if I worry about myself first then I'm being a "selfish little brat" as I'm sure she'd call me. (link)
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You're right. Your mother has trapped you and now she is depending on your guilt to keep you there. You are NOT the mother. She is. Its not your job to take care of her. I'm willing to bet that if there's no one there to help her she'll find a way to make it work. You are not wrong for wanting your own space. Tell your mom you care for her and appreciate her giving you a place to stay for a while, but you're ready to go your own way and give her some space. Oh yes, she's going to yell and cry and give you a hard time. She knows which buttons to push and she knows how to make you feel bad. You've got to make it up in your mind ahead of time you're NOT going to let her manipulate you. Rehearse it in your head before you talk to her. Try to practice every situation. If she cries, what will you do? IF she yell? Swears? Calls you a brat? Tell you that you owe her? If she tells you she's going to starve without you? Go over every possible excuse in your mind so you are prepared. Then, when you tell her, just don't linger. Tell her what you are doing and don't let her get you involved in a big drama. Yes, it will be hard for you, but right now, you need to worry about yourself. Sounds like your mom sure isn't. You're not bad, you're smart. Go your own way as soon as you can! Good luck.
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This hole topic is driving me crazy lol. My parents made me go to 2 masses soo now Im wondering if he's pissed. He didn't seem to be when I left! They don't usually care i don't think??? Anyways why he hasn't responded to me is beyond my knowledge. Litte advice on this would be nice thanks :).
How should I act towards him this weekend ugh lol (link)
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Ok, be friendly, be kind. If you get a chance say something like "I haven't heard from you lately. How's everything been going?" Do you think you'd have the courage to do that? If you can muster up the courage, try it. See what he says, how he reacts. Then let me know! I'll try to interpret his reaction for you, as best I can from not being there, of course. BTW, how old are you and how old is he (about)? Not that age is that big of a deal but it may give me a better idea of what's going through his head. Good luck!
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I've been with this girl for about 7-8 monthes now. And I still have trouble understanding her. For example, on her FB page, she has put up a picture of her and her cousin. She rarely puts up a picture of us unless it's for a short time. Is she embarrassed of me? Or is she more in love with her cousin? Her cousin is very pretty and she has a great personality as far as I know. She lives a few states away so I've never met her.
I also think that my girlfriend doesn't really love me. I think she's in love with the fact that somebody loves her. Everytime I make a minor mistake such as missing a lunch date because I was busy doing something else, she goes overboard and I think she's ready to break up. If I give her any doubt that I don't love her or that I love her less than she thought, she doesn't want anything to do with me.
Then there are times when I want to hangout with her and if when on the phone we're making these plans to get together, she accuses me of not "sounding" like I really want to and is like whatever nevermind. When the reality is I want to and my tone is due to some other reason such as in going to see her, I will be risking the chance of getting in trouble or in going to see her, I will look like a mess because I haven't had the chance to get ready for the day.
Then there are times when she and I get together for a short amount of time and she ignores me from the time I walk in the door of her house. She eats, talks to her mom in vietnamese, or she's watching tv. Once she walked into her house and closed the door right behind her though she knew I was coming in behind her. When it's almost time for her to go to work, that's when she starts to ackonwledge my presence.
Another thing, she blames me for the stress of her parents. They don't like the fact that their daughter is gay, but she said she's more into girls than guys. Once, she blamed our relationship when her father ran a redlight. It's unlike him to do such but she was going to breakup with me for what happened with her father when I was nowhere near him when he ran the redlight. I was with her at my house.
She also gets upset with me when she feels that she is always reaching out to me. Like when she was always coming to my house after school. She accused me that I never make action to go see her. This is ridiculous because her parents didn't really welcome me into their home and because I walked all the way to her house several times after sundown to sneak in through her window which ruined my favorite pants because to get to her window, I had to crawl through the bushes.
Another thing which happened 4 monthes after we started dating was that when she worked at moe's, she confided in an employee that she preferred sex with men rather than women. She only had oral sex with an elderly man once and we were just beginning our sexual experience. She said that she wasn't thinking clearly at the time and that we were fighting a lot during the time which gave her the entitlement to say this. It made me feel rather disgusted. She chose this guy she hates over the girl she loves just because his tongue felt better. I've gotten over this dispute between us because I made once major mistake too. She read my private question on advicenators[after what she did] that I was thinking about having sex with this guy. That was just 3 monthes after but she read it about 5-6 monthes after we were together. I wrote that question the day after we got back together[before we broke up for a short time]. The guy approached me and I was still confused on whether I preferred girls or men. For some reason, I thought at the time that that would help me understand. I had sex with a guy once but he wasn;t my boyfriend and it was terrible mostly for that reason.
Anyway, we both made mistakes. Those two are the biggest we each made. Though, once she watched porn when I told her not to. She's a porn addict and I hate this about her. She was reading anime porn the day I told her I just wanted to be friends last Thursday. Us just being friends didn't work out very well because we're now back together. Maybe when we try to be friends, we need to be away from each other during the grieving period after a breakup. I do love her a lot and that's why I keep coming back to her. And she says she loves me a lot. I need another perspective of my girlfriend and I. Am I making the right decision for myself to stay with her? Or would we be better off as just friends? (link)
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You're not a terrible person. You want to be loved, just like the rest of us. I think the first place to start is with prayer. Just get on your knees and pour your heart out and ask for wisdom. I truly believe God exists and I believe in the power of prayer. Do this as soon and often as you can. I believe there is an answer in there somewhere for you. Next, I think you need to talk to someone about this. Now, this will be the difficult part, because it requires that you find someone you trust. Do you go to church or a youth group? Can you trust your pastor? Do you want to trust your pastor? Or is there someone else in your church or group that you feel you can trust? Someone that you know will keep your confidence and not judge you harshly? Because I believe this is about a lot more than just feeling rejected by your girlfriend. I believe this is about you, and your questions and how you feel about yourself. I wish I could just give you the magic answer and make everything better, but it sounds like you're on a journey that only you can take. Make sure you take the right guide with you.
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I am applying for a job and on the application it asked:
Why are you suitable for this position?
and:
Why are you applying for this position?
and I don't know what to answer!
First one is ok because it is an entry level job and I can say something like "Because I am a fast learner" but please tell me something better sounding than that?
The second one, I just don't know. I need the money, but it sounds bad to say that, right?
Thank you! (link)
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Well, you've got to sugar-coat it. Of course you need the money,that's why anyone works. You have to spin it. Like - I want the opportunity to build a career in the ??? field and to succeed and advance in the field of ???
Yes you can say you are suitable because you are a fast learner. Don't lie about yourself, but STESS the truth. If you work well with others, say that, but if not, say something like "I am motivated and work well by myself" I've got a million of these things. I've filled out so many applications in my life its not even funny. If you need more help just add your questions on here, or you can even drop some specifics in my inbox if you want. Good luck!
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i know this may seem weird but i'm really open about this topic to all my guyfriends, as well as my boyfriend. when i ask my friends, they say they do it at least 3-4 times a week. i think the last time my boyfriend did was like 6 months ago, last i asked him.
this may not seem like that big of a deal, but its putting a downer on our sex life. since he doesnt masturbate, hes prone to certain "issues". for instance, when we're about to have sex, he has trouble getting it up. and when he finally does, it takes him forever to ejaculate. we could thrust for what seems like an hour and still nothing! this is very tiring for me, and he's also very lazy about it. i've tried talking to him but he doesnt seem to get the message that its not healthy.
what can i say to him? (link)
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This doesn't sound like a masturbation issue. It sounds like a sex drive issue. Your boyfriend may have a lower than normal sex drive. The fact that he doesn't masturbate kind of confirms that. If its not a problem to him, maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship and what you want out of it. If he DOES think its a problem, he should start by making a doctor's appointment and asking about it. It could be a physical issue that can be treated easily. Either way, its not normal, but it isn't about the masturbation. Its something to be looked into more deeply, that's for sure.
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my income is all tied up.i've wanted to go to therapy for years.how can i get help cheap or free.
thank you (link)
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Well, I'm not sure where you live, so I don't know the details of what kind of health plan you have. But if you live in the U.S. and have health insurance, start by going to your family doctor and asking for a referral, then call your insurance company and ask them how much they cover of therapy visits. If you still can't afford it, do an internet search of free counseling services in your area. Oftentimes, community centers and neighborhood centers will offer free counseling or therapy services. Especially if you belong to a certain group (like teens, victims of rape or crime, etc.). Do some research in your area. You may be surprised at what you find. Good luck.
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What does it mean when someone you like tilted his head sideways, dilated pupils and slightly parted lips. Plus he shook my hand before leaving??? I felt his gaze on me from across the room!!! The no contact is driving me crazy ugh lol help thanks. (link)
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LOL! You got it bad, girl! LOL. Listen, try to hold it together. He sounds like he's working up to something. BE PATIENT! Don't lose it. Give him some time. Give yourself 1 month. If he hasn't made a definite move email me again and we'll figure out what to do next. I think this will turn into something positive, but you have to play it cool right now. I know, its hard. You have me giggling, though! I'm predicting he's going to do something definite to let you know what's happening in the next few weeks. I'm thinking that he's struggling with his feelings right now, as a pastor who is possibly interested in a member of the "flock" he's supposed to be leading, it can pose some problems. Please keep that in mind. He has other things to consider, so he has to be more careful than you do. So if he's taking some time to think, and then you make a move too soon, you may scare him off. That's why I'm trying to get you to just take a breath and be patient. He needs the space right now so he can get clear about his feelings and realize that, yes, he really does want to be with you.
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