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boyfriend doesnt masturbate.
i know this may seem weird but i'm really open about this topic to all my guyfriends, as well as my boyfriend. when i ask my friends, they say they do it at least 3-4 times a week. i think the last time my boyfriend did was like 6 months ago, last i asked him.
this may not seem like that big of a deal, but its putting a downer on our sex life. since he doesnt masturbate, hes prone to certain "issues". for instance, when we're about to have sex, he has trouble getting it up. and when he finally does, it takes him forever to ejaculate. we could thrust for what seems like an hour and still nothing! this is very tiring for me, and he's also very lazy about it. i've tried talking to him but he doesnt seem to get the message that its not healthy.
what can i say to him?
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You aren't a doctor hun, so you aren't doing him or yourself any favours when you blame your issues on his lack of masturbating.
Someone who doesn't masturbate might have less knowledge about what works for them and what they like, but the problems he is experiencing with arousal and performance probably have nothing to do with the fact he doesn't masturbate.
What seems more likely, is that there is an underlying health issue that is killing his sex drive. (Or, having almost no sex drive might be normal and natural for him!)
However, I'm not a doctor either, and that is who he needs to talk to.
If he doesn't see this as a problem, there is little you can do to convince him it is, except dump him (or, threaten to dump him if he doesn't look into it). Some people do have lower sex drives then others, and yes, as sad as it is, it does kill otherwise good relationships when one partner has desires the other simply cannot share.
Tell him how serious the issue is to you. Tell him there might be something medically wrong with him. Ask him to take it seriously and see a doctor. If you don't think your relationship has lasting power when you have such different desires and expectations about sex: Tell him that too. It might hurt, but better to hurt him now, then lead him on and let him think it's all okay.
Stand up for yourself and what you'd like, but don't diagnose him.
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This doesn't sound like a masturbation issue. It sounds like a sex drive issue. Your boyfriend may have a lower than normal sex drive. The fact that he doesn't masturbate kind of confirms that. If its not a problem to him, maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship and what you want out of it. If he DOES think its a problem, he should start by making a doctor's appointment and asking about it. It could be a physical issue that can be treated easily. Either way, its not normal, but it isn't about the masturbation. Its something to be looked into more deeply, that's for sure.
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