Hey y'all. I started this whole advice thing cuz i absolutely luv people and giving advice. I'll try to help the best I can with whatever problem you have. I've been through a little of everything so ask away and don't be shy!
E-mail: e.sherhart@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: TEXAS!!!
Occupation: Violinist
Age: 16
AIM: rikatree2375
Member Since: July 29, 2005
Answers: 255
Last Update: September 12, 2006
Visitors: 16319
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DeeSireDiOr
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People, I guess lustful teenagers specifically, like to get hickies. I don't mean everyone, but generally speaking. Guys like it when their girlfriend sucks on their neck, and girls like it when their boyfriend does the same. They brag about it. They show it off. But when they're in school, they try to cover it up! People make fun of them for it! I understand wanting to hide it from your parents, but it's like...you're ashamed of the thing you were just bragging about. Isn't this kind of stupid? (link)
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Yeah, i think it's stupid but that's usually how life goes. People get them then they get all paranoid about having them because they're "ashamed". I think they just like the attention but who knows. People are weird. :)
4Him, Disciple
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Hi there. I know it is really really normal for people my age (teens) to get depressed because of hormones, 'stress', stuff like that.
I'm probably a drama queen for some reason but i get "depressed' a lot actualy 'down' is a better word. every time i think about anything, my friends, my future, i get reallllly pessimistic and get upset and everything. i know i'm really pessimistic and stuff and i always compare myself to other people, it's really sad.
i don't even know what's going on. i think it's become a habit now, getting down and stuff. it's like even where there's nothing to get sad about i get sad. it's bad i really do'nt like it. i always waste time like watch tv or something instead of do homewrok whenever i get depresed. i don't even know if this is clinical depressinos or just hormones and my personality. i like talking to friends about it, but a lot of them just think i'm a "pessimist"
thanks (link)
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I know where you're coming from so you aint alone. First of all depression IS normal so i'm glad you realize that. But the fact is, it shouldn't have to be considered normal. I know that school is like extremely stressful and you have to think about your friends, future and i totally know how all that feels. But when you get depressed, start thinking about one thing in your life that makes you happy. Be it a special someone or just..anything, focus on that. Try waking up in the morning and saying,"today is going to be a great day" and really believe it. I know that it sounds kinda weird but you'd be surprised on how much better your morning is and how it affects other people around you. I get into the habit of being depressed alot too but just think when you're like that, people dont want to be around you so it usually makes your day even worse!!! And of course, we dont want that. So try for like one day to wake up in the morning, think of something to look forward to and just be determined to stop the whole drama queen act and i guarantee you'll have a better day. Now if you dont, write me back okay??? And i'll hopefully think of something else but for now trust me and try it. Write back anyways just to tell me it worked. You know, boosts the whole self esteem. :) Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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I have an extremely depressed friend. She's been depressed for awhile, and I've always tried my best to be there for her. She would ask me to come over when she couldn't stop crying, and I would, but I would be reluctant to. It's just.....some things, you could only do so much to get nothing in return. I feel like I'm selfish for thinking that. But I always try my best to be there for her because I know that I'm the only girl that she really has. I know that I'm the only one that she's ever really trusted her entire life, I'm the only one that could be there for her, and I live so close to her. And I know that I'm really the only friend that her parents like and actually trust. I get so tired of her depression, constantly being there for her. I feel as if I want to avoid her, and her depression annoys me a whole lot. It's every weekend. She called me and asked me if I could come over because she was crying really bad, but I told her that I "couldn't". I really didn't feel like going..because I just sit there, feeling helpless, as she cries her eyes out. I know that I should be a good friend and that I should just go anyway, because she needs me and I should be there for her when she's in need, but at the same time, I really don't want to, since I do it so much. I don't know if my decision of not going is because I'm a bad person. Anyone would get tired of their friend, if they were like this all the time, right? But then, I feel like such a bad friend, but then again I do it so often that I should get tired of it and I need time to myself SOMETIME, because I don't really talk to people about the "problems" I have. She asked me if I could go over tomorrow instead, because she knew that she would cry like no other and not be able to get herself to stop, and I told her that I could probably go, but for me, I was hoping to stay home alone tomorrow and get caught up on things I've been putting off. If I don't go, and really don't want to, would that make me a bad person? I just need some time to myself..which is something I can't seem to have..But I don't want her to think I'm a bad friend, and that no one will be there for her. I don't know if I should do what interests her, and bothers me, or what interests me, but upsets her...
What should I do? (link)
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Wow, i had to read your question twice, sounded kinda ironic. Anyways, i know where you're coming from. Let me say something that might sound kinda mean. Since you've been an awesome friend for her in the past by going and talking with her and pitying her, she figures she can probably keep doing that and still get the same results, pity. I'm guessing you go to her house, sit and she cries, you talk to her about how things will eventually get better and she just says i dont know, right?? And that goes on for hours and hours. Well, sounds like she's always depressed so do you think that you can really help her??? If i were you i would say, "if this is so serious, then you need professional help." Just ask to see what her expression is. If she's like what?? then she's probably pulling your leg to get pity. I've had friends like that. So step one, trust your inner judgement to see what's so wrong with this person. Step two, decide whether you want to give up your "time" to deal with this consistently. Now i dont mean just totally ignore her but you cant exactly put your life on hold to accomodate her. Step three, always be available for her but don't pity her to make her feel better. Don't ignore the girl but make her understand that you have a life too and you need help just as much as her. It's called a friendship, giving and taking. It's equal. So try that for now and just see how things go. Don't stress though too much because that really doesn't help in that kind of situation. I hope i helped and good luck with it!!!
4Him, Disciple
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14/f
Ok there is this boy in school and in the begining of the year we talked not alot but enough...so then one day he told me that i was pretty so i figured he liked me..(he didnt really just go over to me and say ur pretty but there is a hole long story but you dont need to kno it to help me)...so then after that happend he kinda just stopped talkin to me and we never really talk much...so does he like me or not??
please help ------->i'll rate 5's (link)
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First of all, guys dont usually tell you you're pretty if they're not interested, so think about that. But about your question. He's probably just the shy guy who needs to know that you're interested in him before he can get the courage to say something more, ya know??? I think you should just start talking to him more, flirt alot, and just hint that you like him. Once he feels a little more secure he'll make the first move. So don't worry and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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i need some good advice to give to my little brother, he is madly in love with a girl alot younger than him. she is 16 and he will be 22 in dec. they dont have a physical relationship, that i know of, god i hope they dont, but anyway he has asked me if i think it is wrong to be in love with her. i am trying to not be to sisterly and bossy about my answer to him i just need some advice on how to tell him how i feel about it. i think it is wrong, but at the same time i want him to be happy. please help (link)
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I know you want him to be happy, but he also needs to know what's RIGHT for him. And i think that's too much of an age difference so i'm right there with ya. Just tell him that in your opinion, 6 years difference is alot and people change a tonnn during those years of their lives. He might totally love her but he also needs to consider what's right for this girl. She probably needs somebody closer to her age who's in high school and has the same problems and can relate, ya know??? So try just telling him this and think more of what's right then his happiness. I'm sure there are a ton of girls who would love to date him and are closer to his age. Well, good luck with that and hope i helped some!!!
4Him, Disciple
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I have a problem, I get feeelings for girls more then i do guys. No body knows because i've never told anyone. I just need to know am i a lesbian?
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To me it really sounds like it's your hormones and all. Specially if you're younger and you have alot of close friends who are girls and you dont really have a lot of friends who are guys then yeah, you'll probably get those feelings. Just dont let them bother you. Alot of people, especially girls, go through that for awhile. So don't stress about it and i'm sure you'll be fine. Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
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Me and my best friend had a stupid argument. What shall I do, I was alittle harsh on her, but I didnt want to stop being friends what can
i do?
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The best way to fix that is just to apologize. Just be sincere with them and i'm sure they'll understand. You cant let stupid arguments get in the way of a great friendship. Just be honest and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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ok i liked this guy in 7th grade... and now i'm in 8th grade and he asked me out... i don't like him anymore and (to tell the truth) he's kinda a geek! i know i shouldn't not go out w/him b/c he's a geek... it's b/c i don't like him... i was talking to my friends and they think that it must've taken a lot of courage to ask me that... and it'll probably break his heart if i turn him down... so would this be a good and easy way to let him down?
-right now i don't think i can handle a boyfriend w/volleyball, orchestra, and school because it'd be too hectic. i like you as my friend and i want to stay friends.. but nothing more-
would that be too harsh? (link)
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Well first of all, going out with somebody you dont like is going to hurt them more than being honest with them. Why? Because you'll get their hopes up and then you'll HAVE to be honest sooner or later. So just tell him that you're really not interested but of course be sweet about it. And just say your life is hectic and he should get it. Yeah, he'll be disappointed and all, but nothing he cant get over. That's life. Well, hope i helped and good luck with that gurl!!!
4Him, Disciple
You an orch dork too!!!! Yay, so am i!!! Sorry, had to say that. :)
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I'm just wondering, why do you do this? I know that you have plenty of things going on in your life that you, yourself, can't solve. What made you decide do do this? How did you find this? (link)
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I decided to do this because i HAVE been through alot and i felt like i should help people and warn them about eating disorders, etc. I basically googled advice columns and eventually found this but yeah. My reason is mainly because i dont want people to have to go through what i have. If i can help at least one person a day on this website then it's worth it. I also want to set a good Christian example to everybody on this site. But my main reason will always be to help people so they dont make the same mistakes as i did.
4Him, Disciple
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I'm a really self-conscious person and I admit that I am, and I know that it's bad but it's just how I am and people can't exactly change how they are, you know? My boyfriend jokes around a lot with me. We're friends first, and then we're a couple. I've known him nearly all of my life and I grew up with him. He knows that I care a lot about what people think of me. Sometimes, he tells me that I'm fat, but I know that he's just joking because I'm the furthest thing from "fat" and my body is perfectly fine. But sometimes, I don't like it. Him saying that makes me feel self-conscious and almost makes me want to believe it. He says it so often that it hurts me sometimes and I start to believe that he's telling the truth. It's weird that I feel this way when I know that I'm perfectly fine and..I don't know. I don't like it. I don't want to tell him because I know that he'll take it hard and want to apologize like crazy to me, knowing that it hurt me. I don't want to be the one to tell him..and I don't want him to know. But I don't really know what to do. He says it almost everyday and I just laugh and tell him to shut up or tell him that I hate him, jokingly of course, but he doesn't know how I feel about it. He didn't say it today, so maybe I'm just overreacting, but I feel really down after he says it. I know that this is the most ridiculous thing, but I've been thinking about it. What should I do? (link)
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First of all, don't start thinking differently about yourself because of what he says. What's important is feeling good about yourself. Okay, now for your question. I know telling him will probably hurt him, but sooner or later he's going to have to know or you'll get more paranoid and start to think you're fat. Just sit him down and try to explain that in a relationship, you can't put each other down even if you're joking. It'll just hurt both of y'all because you dont know when to draw the line. I think he should apologize to you for all this so dont feel bad to think that he'll do that. Sounds like a great guy so just be honest and you cant go wrong. I hope i helped and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
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is Tequillla the same as whiskey? (link)
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I dont think it is but i'm not really an expert on that. I'm pretty sure it isn't though.
4Him, Disciple
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I'm..extremely afraid for a close friend of mine, although I don't show it so much. I know that she thinks of it as not much of a big deal, but I do and I see what could come from it. I want her to go to a doctor, but she doesn't want to and refuses to. She also doesn't want her parents to know, because her parents blame her for everything. This friend of mine has been depressed because a 15-month, serious relationship with someone ended, due to circumstances that she doesn't understand. He got over it too quickly and doesn't care about her at all, despite everything they went through together, and gee, did they go through a lot. I don't know if the problems that she's having is somehow affiliated with her depression, but it scares me. She never feels like eating. She tries because she knows that not-eating is bad for her, but her body refuses the food and she ends up throwing it up later. Her stomach hurts from time to time and she also has severe, continuous headaches. She takes Advil or something to attempt to cure it, and it never works, but she keeps on taking more and more, thinking that more would help her, somehow. So that would be overdosing. If it doesn't help the first time, what makes her think that it would help any other time, right? She's addicted to them or something..and it really worries me. She told me to give her a limit of how much she could take when she got home, and I told her, two at a time, twice, until she slept. She agreed, yet she broke this agreement and took six. I don't know why she's throwing up..or even WHAT she's throwing up since she hardly eats a thing...and..I'm just really concerned. I don't know what to do, and I don't know what kind of advice you could give me for this..if any at all, but I'm just scared for her.
Thanks, ahead of time. :] (link)
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Talk to this person about all this. Don't just sit back and worry. Really confront them because things only will get worse. Drug overdose is so harmful and never helps. Don't go running to a doctor but really sit them down face to face and ask them why they're doing this. It's a RESULT of something that's going wrong in their lives. People like this usually just need somebody to talk to, thus the depression. They're probably holing everything up inside and it's going to get worse if they keep doing that. Really talk to her one on one, okay? It sounds like you know what to say to her. Just trust your instincts.
4Him, Disciple
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hi ihave a friend that has a problem
an "eating" problem
and she doesn't want to tell her parents or adult
she answers advice for all pepl with the same problems but she doesn't take the same advice herself.
what should i do? (link)
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Sounds stubborn. She probably realizes that she's like a total hypocrite. Most likely she's struggling with something really big in her life and she doesn't know how to respond to it. Don't force her to tell people though. Sounds like she just needs some really good friends who will always be there for her. Just keep talking with her and help her out with things. She'll come around. :)
4Him, Disciple
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i'm 14f and this guy at my school likes me and i like him too ALOT! but my best friend likes him too but she said she only liked him like a little and everything. and the guy asked me out and he's still waiting for my answer.. so what should i do? (link)
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Now that is one hard situation. I'm sure you know what most likely will happen if you say yes. You're friend is probably going to get jealous and y'all might not be that close for awhile until she accepts everything. But you can't necessarily put your life on hold for a friend. Try talking to her about it and maybe even get her approval. You'll have a much better relationship if you know your best friend supports you. Even if she doesn't, you have to make your own choices in life even when they might not please other people. Just for now be really sensitive to what she might be feeling and you'll be fine. Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
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I usually dont eat much. I eat maybe one small thing for breakfast and half of my lunch. I usually dont eat dinner. I usually exercise everything off if I eat a huge lunch or a huge dinner. I constantly worry about how much i weigh but im too scared to weigh myself cause im scared of the effect itll have on me. I usually exercise regularly. I run a mile a day, 30 pushups, 5 minute wall sit, and tons of other things. I'm also involved in Cheerleading so that kind of also is an excuse for me to exercise more often and burn off any fat. Ive been getting sick easier lately and idk why ive been sick for like 2 weeks now. Am i anorexic or what?
Oh also ive noticed my legs are smaller and so are my arms.. and ive noticed other things but i need oppinions i rate 5s. kthanxbye! (link)
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Take it from a person who's been there, done that. Sounds like anorexia to me. The fact that you're scared to weigh yourself is what worries me. I knew with anorexia that i became obsessed with the scale and had to know what i weighed every morning but i was also afraid of it. I think the first step is really acknowleding that you have a problem. Since you're actually worried about it then you can get better soon. Try keeping up like a schedule of what you eat. Like tell yourself that you're going to eat this much for breakfast, lunch and dinner and stick with that no matter if you dont feel like eating. I think over time you'll find yourself eating normal. Don't worry about the exercise because that's good for you but try not to loose too much weight. Keep things healthy and you'll be fine. Don't stress either because that only makes things worse. Hope i helped and EAT!!! :)
4Him, Disciple
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ok ok i KNOW this is going to sound REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY strange to everyone out there but ive been feeling really strange latly. i feel like god is trying to tell me something or im soposed to do something...something BIG! i mean i just have a strange feeling and my heart is constantly beating fast and hard and i space off just thinking about it. even my friends have noticed that ive been acting weird lately. its scaring me. so what should i do? is this just my imagination or am i really soposed to do something in my life? (link)
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Wow, this is great!!! Usually if God's trying to tell you something, He's going to get your attention. And it sure sounds like he's doing that. I know i can't tell you what this means exactly, but God can. Just close yourself in your room, kneel down, and just talk with God. Then listen. This isn't just you being paranoid. Remember the story of Samuel and Eli??? God kept calling Samuel and he thought it was Eli. So Samuel got up and said, "here i am...what did you need???" And eli was like,"i didn't call you." and after a few times of that eli said,"God is calling you, go back and if you hear it again answer,'yes God, i'm listening'." That kinda sounds like you. So be like samuel and just listen. God has something big in mind for you.
4Him, Disciple
My eyes were watering reading your question. God is going to use you in a way so spectacular, you cant even imagine!!! He'll tell you soon, dont worry.
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I'm..extremely afraid for a close friend of mine, although I don't show it so much. I know that she thinks of it as not much of a big deal, but I do and I see what could come from it. I want her to go to a doctor, but she doesn't want to and refuses to. She also doesn't want her parents to know, because her parents blame her for everything. This friend of mine has been depressed because a 15-month, serious relationship with someone ended, due to circumstances that she doesn't understand. He got over it too quickly and doesn't care about her at all, despite everything they went through together, and gee, did they go through a lot. I don't know if the problems that she's having is somehow affiliated with her depression, but it scares me. She never feels like eating. She tries because she knows that not-eating is bad for her, but her body refuses the food and she ends up throwing it up later. Her stomach hurts from time to time and she also has severe, continuous headaches. She takes Advil or something to attempt to cure it, and it never works, but she keeps on taking more and more, thinking that more would help her, somehow. So that would be overdosing. If it doesn't help the first time, what makes her think that it would help any other time, right? She's addicted to them or something..and it really worries me. She told me to give her a limit of how much she could take when she got home, and I told her, two at a time, twice, until she slept. She agreed, yet she broke this agreement and took six. I don't know why she's throwing up..or even WHAT she's throwing up since she hardly eats a thing...and..I'm just really concerned. I don't know what to do, and I don't know what kind of advice you could give me for this..if any at all, but I'm just scared for her.
Thanks, ahead of time. :] (link)
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I'm not sure if i can help, but i'm sure going to try okay? Wow, where to start. Let me mention, when people don't admit that things are going rough for them, then most likely they are. And when she doesn't want to go to a doctor or tell her parents, i understand but i still know that's wrong. And you mentioned that her parents blame her for everything. THAT DEFINITELY IS GOING TO RUIN ALL THOUGHTS OF TELLING THEM ANYTHING, i should know. To me, this sounds like a bad depression. A really bad depression. The throwing up, drug over-dosage, everything are symptoms of depression. But don't freak out and don't go running to a doctor. So right now, be a really good friend to her and show her that you're constantly there for her. Sometimes the best medicine for this is knowing somebody loves you. People get so hurt and lonely (specially after this relationship ended) that they desperately need somebody just to be there, you know??? So that's the first step. Second, sit her down and talk to her about all this. Tell her what you're basically telling me. I'm mostly worried about the drug overdosage right now because that's a really bad thing to do. So mention that first and tell her about the health risks. Sometimes you basically have to scare people to get them to listen, i should know. And about this eating disorder. I'm glad she's trying, but throwing up??? That's physically harmful too, and i'm sure you both realize that.TALK TO HER ABOUT THIS. Don't drag her to a counselor or nothing but just do one-on-one. Explain to her why you're worried (you definitely have a reason to be) and why she needs to STOP. You mentioned that you can see where all this is going and personally when i see that in my friends, i get scared. I love my friends as you do too so i try and fix things as soon as possible. Don't put this off thinking you'll lose a friend if you tell her to stop. What's more important...her friendship or her life??? I hope you pick the second one. If you do then i think that explains it all. I'm beggin you though, don't let this go. You're seeing a person who's in depression and basically given up hope (thus not wanting to bother to eat). Talk to her face to face. Don't do it over the phone but face to face if you can. It's way more personal and you can actually see them. Just dont rush things and constantly remind her that you love her and will ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER. Once that really soaks in, i think she'll get better. Wow, i wrote a lot but i hope i helped. Write back about what's going on. I'd love to help you some more!!!
4Him, Disciple
my email is e.sherhart@att.net (i check it everyday for y'all) and my sn is rikatree2375...that's for if you need help or just somebody to talk to..or if you want the actual person to talk to me. I've been through a lot of that so i understand.
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Ok,Theres this guy I like and his name is John. Ok one of my not so close friends went and told him that I liked him right in front of me!!! I was soo hurt and imbarassed. But I did find out that John has a Girlfriend. I don't even look at him anymore! She did this to me like 3 times!! I can't make her stop! Everytime she sees him she goes " HEY John! This girl right here wants to go out with you!" And Im like Oh shit! What can I do. I didn't mean for thingz to happen like this and I can't even look at him without knowin he knows i like him.
Please Help! I will rate all 5's for really good answers! (link)
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Wow, that's really mean of her. If i were you, i'd sit her down and tell her to stop. Tell her she has no right to tell him personal stuff like that. If you tell her that it's really pissing you off, then she should stop. If she doesn't, dont let it bother you and she'll eventually get tired of it and leave you alone. For the meantime, just ignore her. She's probably doing it just to annoy you so show her it's not working. I really hope i helped and good luck with that!!!
4Him, Disciple
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How can I get a boyfriend? I'm really shy and don't make friends easily, but I am ready to date and would like to get closer to some guys. I'm going to be 16 in about a month, and I hadnt dated because it hadnt really interested me. Now I am getting more interested and want to find out how I can at least get some sort of relationship with a guy!
Thanks in advance for any help! (link)
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I know how you feel so don't worry. I think it's great though that you've waited until a later age to start dating. Personally you'll get a better guy but anyways, about your question. Start thinking of all the guys you kinda know and think about their personality, character, and so on. If you think you might be interested, then just start to talk to them. Or if you don't know them very well at all, smile at them and they'll get the hint. For a conversation, just start talking about something you or him might be interested in, doesn't have to be something really big or important, just enough to get him talking. Being shy is hard, but you gotta try to overcome that. Put yourself out there a little. And don't be shy to flirt because guys see that as encouragement to keep talking. So just go out there and meet some guys and i doubt you'll be disappointed.
4Him, Disciple
Sometimes the longer you wait, the better guy you'll get. :)
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hi. i read another question on here about heaven and for the Christians out there..what does it take to be in heaven? i go to church, i try to be nice to people, and i pray daily but how do i know if im doing enough? =( (link)
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Everybody does have a different view but that doesn't mean they're necessarily right. Works aren't enough and i think by feeling this way, God's really trying to tell you that He wants everything. He wants you to COMPLETELY trust in him. No amount of praying or church can get you to Heaven. Praying is talking to God and like having a conversation. Having a conversation with somebody can't make you go to Heaven. Going to church is how we worship God and think about Him. That's just a result of being saved or born again. When i was 11 i started worrying about that too. I felt like i seriously wasn't going to Heaven. But after talking to God about it, i knew that i had to put my trust in Him. That i couldn't save myself and after that, i knew i had to have faith that He said if we call on His name, He will save us. If you haven't asked God to save your sins, then yes, you're going to hell whether you're a praying, church-going person. That's why Jesus died for us in the first place, so we could have access to Heaven. But we have to ask for forgiveness of our sins and then ,"we'll be made whole." Just start talking to God one-on-one about what you need to do. He wont ignore you. I know some of what i said sounds really harsh, but I'm a Christian and i want to tell you how it is so you can fix this and feel right about it. Just pray about it, okay? Hope i helped and God bless!!!
4Him, Disciple
email me at e.sherhart@att.net or im me at rikatree2375 if you need any more help. I'd luv to talk with ya!!!
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